I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Monday, March 31, 2008


According to several sites on the net (i.e., possibly apocryphal) personnel executives of 100 major American corporations were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants:
Said he was so well qualified [that] if he didn’t get the job, it would prove that the company’s management was incompetent.
Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
Brought her large dog to the interview.
Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.
Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.
She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to the music and me at the same time.
Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.
Asked to see interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.
Announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer’s office.
Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.
Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.
Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.
Wouldn’t get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.
When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.
Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.
Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.
Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left.
Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.
Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer was formal.
Said he wasn’t interested because the position paid too much.
While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.
During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate’s briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.
A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: “Which company? When do I start? What’s the salary?” I said, “I assume you’re not interested in conducting the interview any further.” He promptly responded, “I am as long as you’ll pay me more.” I didn’t hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.
An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.
His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies’ undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.
He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn’t want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped.
He took off his right shoe and sock, opened a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.
Candidate said he really didn’t want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.
He whistled when the interviewer was talking.
Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.
She threw up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.
Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.
Asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.

gee...no wonder they hired me so fast...I look like a real find compared to these yahoo's....

Sunday, March 30, 2008


Well, it was as confusing as I thought it would be..but it wasn't as bad as it could have been...no fist fights, name calling, or bipping occurred..I had fun and managed to wrangle an alternate position to the Texas Convention in Austin, this coming June..Which only happened because the Clinton delegates only had 2 people that wanted to go..so they by majority of the votes got to be delegates and as we only had 2 that wanted to go from the Obama's Mary Mangrum and I are going...The Clinton delegates really don't like us Obama voters...especially me ...I told them if she lied one more time she would officially be a republican and I might vote for her if she had just come out and said:"Yes, Bill is a cheating bastard, but I love the bastard and want to keep him around as I might run for President some day and he'll come in handy."..so there is no love lost..and especially since the only ones interviewed by the Waco Trib was Violeta Davis and me..and they only quoted me..I made the guy laugh...he liked my Hillary lying and becoming a republican quote..Also the exact quote was "I'm so pissed off after 8 years of Bush, I had to get involved"...then I laughed and said...don't guess that will make the paper will it?..He said 'how about really angry?'...yeah, that's close enough..
So I will be able to go to Austin and I doubt if I will get picked by my group to go to Denver for the National Convention as my last name isn't Czech and I'm not for Clinton...Hopefully the ole cunt will quit by then..but I doubt it..she thinks she's entitled to be president and if lying, cheating and making a deal with the devil will get her there..she's all for it..
No one had to bail me out..I tried to behave myself..sitting next to an 82 year old will do that to you...to quote her:"I'm voting for Obama even if he is black.".....ahh, old ladies ..gotta love 'em..
I did jump in and help with the signing in of delegates..they had it set up where one person would do each precinct which was giving them a delegate or alternate badge to hang around your neck, the person had to put in the precinct number and your name(checking your voting card or driving liscense) and then you signed in next to your name, person you wanted for president and your signiture..They had people 20 deep waiting in front of the desks, in the hall, down the hall, and out the fucking building nearly..it was a mess...So I asked this lady if she would like me to fill in the delegates card and get them ready for her to sign in ..she said yup..so I sat there for about 45 minutes and it just happened to be 65-75 which is the West guys as we are 67..so I got to make fun of all their hard to spell names and one guy who had I thought just lost his sense of humor by the wait, actually cracked a smile when I said 'hey grumpy, where are the other dwarfs?'..his wife said...that's as close to a smile as he's come in 35 years of marriage...(The Goddess works in mysterious ways..)
I was supposed to be at work at 2pm...I didn't get back till 4:30, would have been back at 4:15 but I got a speeding ticket...right in fucking front of work..I wanted to be pissed but I found it too funny..I was going 49 in a 30.
told him too bad you didn't nab me on I-35 I was doing 85...He didn't think I was near as funny as the Trib reporter..I told him I was trying to get back so my boss could go pee, as he had been the only one in the store all day..He didn't care, the little prick..he's the same little asshole about 4 years or so ago that wanted to breathalize me at 3am in the morning when I was out driving around looking for Babe the great dane...I said oh, please yes, I haven't had anything to drink in over 10 years...I'd love for you to explain THAT to Judge Pareya...He's one of those Barney Fife's...about 5' 2" and has a badge..so he thinks he's fucking John Wayne..Only in West...Makes me miss Tommy Dulock..the old deputy..he would have given me a lecture, asked for an Obama sticker and bought me a Dr. Pepper the next time he saw me.
My boss is so cool...he said I shouldn't have raced back, he was fine and what I was doing was more important than working at Family Dollar, and is going to pay 1/2 of my defensive driving fee...What a sweety..
Well, have to get ready to go to work..I'm so excited..I get wed. and Thurs.off ...2 days off in a row...yeah, I can do laundry, clean house, pay bills, plant my garden and have a nervous break down...
fuckme till I vote republican..

Friday, March 28, 2008


I've gone from mourning to happy days...Had today off, and spent it running around spending next weeks pay check..ha..Went to Bold Springs Baptist Church and got their D'lishious Cheeseburgers...One for me ..one for Babs who is suffereing from allergies..the wind is really blowing here and it's about to do her in..She lives in the back where there is nothing but field and the south wind comes right in her apt..I live in the front part where the apts in back block the wind when it comes from the South..but I get the blue northers full frontal..Also got her some Tin Roof Ice cream, as that always makes her feel better...Stopped by work to see if they wanted a cheeseburger too and of course they did..how anyone could refuse them is beyond me..Went to the bank got new checks, looked for a beauty shop in town, but think they all closed down...or moved and I don't know where they're at..think I will just slip into ole Sam Pinters(West's version of Floyd the Barber)and have him cut it..I had him cut my hair about 25 years ago when I was drunk and on a dare(everyone said he would cut my hair like Elvis' as Sam still wears a bouffant pompadour, but he actually did a great job..and for $8 you can't go wrong..I'll let you know how that turns out..Then I watched a little of my soaps...and you know what? Slowly but surely..I just don't give a shit any more...They bore the fuck out of me..
Got dressed and headed to Waco....arghghghghgh!..Only for the granddaughters would I venture into the middle of Waco..Met Jenny at her apt. and she was thrilled to death over all the stuff I got for her new place..Got her 3 pots and put Lavender, Rosemary and Basil in them..Got her small hand shovel,and rakes, work gloves, a bird house, a pretty pink crystal wind chime, an ice bucket, a lamp, a candle holder with crystal beads and $25..Oh yes, got her and Jamie identical Easter Baskets with stuffed animal, a clown rabbit and candy...She may be 21 now but you should have heard her squeal when she saw the peeps and chocolate candy..I cannot tell you how great her apt. is...she has great taste and has decorated it to the nines..She has a black leather love seat and couch, with 2 end tables and coffee table made of black iron and stone...A flat screen TV the size of my truck..The greatest looking dining room set..the table is a square block table but is real tall and her chairs are stool chairs...her bed room is completely decorated in authentic Chinese(Jason's grandma got it when she lived in China) and has a 3-part hanging wall panels.....Three years ago when having her own place was just an idea, she started buying stuff and putting it in storage..her dishes, pots, pans, towels, silver wear, etc..everything she had it all before she even moved in..she got the couch/love seat and washer and dryer for $500 from one of her cousins..Dang..I'm proud of that girl..Then we went to Magic China and had great Chinese food..I had chicken/shrimp kung pou and she had beef/broccoli and we shared..You know you're in a good Chinese restaurant when the diners are Chinese too and no one in the place speaks English..ha..I bought her dinner..she said she wanted to pay for it..I said that makes no sense, I give you $25 for your birthday and then you spend it for dinner..I don't think so.....so I had a most excellent day..
Stayed for a while and we talked about her life and her job...Like I said...I'm so proud of her...Oh,forgot I also got her 2 solar lamps for her yard..they are on little shepherds hooks...really cute..
I am thinking about going to see James Hand tomorrow at the Knights of Columbus..but I have to go to the Democratic Convention in Waco Saturday morning, and will probably need all my wits about me..as I do plan on raising some hell..I'm going to make them Clinton delegates regret their choice...If they haven't already..Wonder how many of them I can get to switch sides?....Oh man..it's going to be fun....

Thursday, March 27, 2008


Richard Widmark, who made his film debut as the giggling killer in Kiss of Death and became a Hollywood leading man, has died after a long illness. He was 93.
Mr. Widmark's wife, Susan Blanchard, said he died at his home in Connecticut on Monday.
After a career in radio drama and theater, Mr. Widmark moved to films as the character Tommy Udo, who delighted in pushing an old lady in a wheelchair to her death down a flight of stairs in the 1947 thriller Kiss of Death. The performance won him an Academy Award nomination as supporting actor.
"That damned laugh of mine!" he told a reporter in 1961. "For two years after that picture, you couldn't get me to smile. I played the part the way I did because the script struck me as funny, and the part I played made me laugh. The guy was just such a ridiculous beast."
A quiet, inordinately shy man, Mr. Widmark often protrayed killers, cops and Western gunslingers.But he said he hated guns.
Mr. Widmark appeared in 20 Fox films from 1957 to 1964.
After leaving Fox, he starred as Jim Bowie with John Wayne in The Alamo(the original), and with James Stewart in John Ford's Two Rode Together.
Madigan, a 1968 film, was converted for television and was Mr. Widmark's only TV series.
He was born Dec.26, 1914, in Sunrise, Minn. At Lake Forest College, he became a protege of the drama teacher and met his future wife, drama student Ora Jean Hazlewood. She died in 1997. He is survived by their daughter Anne and his second wife.

Oh man....it has always remained a toss up with me as to who I loved more..Richard Widmark or Randolph Scott.
Still can't decide...but I do know that my first 'sexual arousal'...came from watching one of Richard Widmark's movies...can't remember which one, but he and some blond were in a hammock and they kissed..and their lips sorta stuck together...and I felt a warm feeling in my stomach area...didn't have a clue to what it meant..but after that...?...I was gaga for Richard...I must have been 7-8 years old..Then he played Jim Bowie in The Alamo with John Wayne..that cinched it...I was in love..must have been 17 or so...and now here I am at 64 years old..and still in love with him...He was never movie star magazine fodder...was a good man..good husband, good father...and a terrific actor...so long Richard...I'm going to miss you...
If you get a chance..check out any movie with him in it..he was so good...
fuckme ....I'll never smile again...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


oK...I'm sorry...but I just can't help myself...js

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses. 8:30 Weigh 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday. 8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants. 9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil. 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer. 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out. 12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe. 12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.. 1:00 Shopping with friends. 3:00 Nap. 4:00 A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer. 4:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage 5:30 Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror. 7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing. 10:00 Hot shower. Alone. 10:30 Make love. 11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling. 11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.
6:00 Alarm. 6:15 Blowjob. 6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section. 7:00 Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee. 7:30 Limo arrives. 7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport. 8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia. 9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club. 9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par. 11:45 Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens. 12:15 Blowjob. 12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par. 2:15 Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis. 2:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap. 3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew. 4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs. 5:00 Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel. 7:00 Watch CNN Newsflash. Clinton resigns. 7:30 Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 Oz. New York strip. 9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar. 10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs. 11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi. 11:45 Go to bed. 11:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room. 11:55 Laugh yourself to sleep.


With one by Jackiesue....can you guess which one?
This was on March 22nd..and I watched it and didn't even remember mine...d'oh!...If you can guess which one is mine, I'll send you a souvenir from West, Texas.
10.Starts every speech with "four whores and seven grand ago."
9. Govenor's mansion is a hotel room on the interstate.
8.Always has that lovely cheap perfume smell about him.
7.He gives a "state of my unit" address.
6.Second Thursday in April is now "Take a whore to work day."
5.He's smiling...his wife ain't.
4.His budget includes line item for "gettin' it on."
3.Before every Executive decision asks, "What would Charlie Sheen do."
2.Local hookers complain they can't get that gubernatorial taste out of their mouths"
1.Leaves a tip for his wife after sex.

Ok...can you guess which is mine?......

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
Original Medium: Comic books
Published by:
Rip Off Press
First Appeared:
Gilbert Shelton
image: © Rip Off Press.
More Cartoons by Rip Off Press
The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers — a bunch of establishment-hating, drug-using, draft-dodging hippies — are definitely a product of their time, the late 1960s and early '70s. But somehow, they've managed to survive beyond that time, and remain in print even today.
Gilbert Shelton, already known for
Wonder Warthog, created the Freak Brothers (Fat Freddy, Freewheelin' Franklin, and Phineas Phreak) in 1968, when he was living in Austin, Texas. Their first adventure appeared in Feds 'n' Heads, a counter-culture publication that is still reprinted from time to time. Later, the trio turned up in Yellow Dog, Radical America Komiks, Zap Comix, and other underground comix, as well as in the Los Angeles Free Press, the East Village Other, and various other underground newspapers.
In 1969, Shelton and three college buddies, Jack Jackson, Dave Moriarty and Fred Todd, moved to San Francisco and founded Rip Off Press, which became one of the major comix publishers — and which is today one of the few still producing new comic books. Most of Shelton's subsequent work has been published by Rip Off Press.
In 1971, Rip Off Press brought out the first collection of Freak Brothers adventures, gathering together stories and pages from over a dozen different sources and putting them between two covers for the first time. Another collection appeared a year later, and a third in 1973. That took care of most of the reprintable material, so the fourth issue, which came out in 1975, contained new stories. That's when the series started to evolve from what has been called a "hippie sitcom" into fabulous, world-spanning, epic adventures.
By then, Shelton had begun collaborating with other underground cartoonists, Paul Mavrides (Anarchy Comix, Young Lust) and the late Dave Sheridan (Dopin' Dan, Dealer McDope). With them on board, the series continued, a new issue coming out every two or three years, then every three or four — but still coming out. The 12th issue appeared in 1992 and the 13th in '97. Early issues are now available in album form, and later ones are still in print.
In 1977, Rip Off Press started an anthology series, Rip Off Comix, where the Freak Brothers were a regular feature. That same year, Fat Freddy's Cat, one of the comics medium's more obnoxious felines, was spun off into a title of his own.
In 1979, Universal Studios bought an option on producing a Freak Brothers movie. That option — as well as several subsequent movie options — was allowed to lapse. To date, no film version has ever been produced.
The secret of the Freak Brothers' longevity is simple. Perhaps not everyone likes their lifestyle; in fact, some may actively abhor everything they stand for — and for that matter, probably nobody at all would consider them role models. But there is one thing on which most people who have read them agree: Gilbert Shelton tells a story very well, and his stories are very, very funny.
I fecking love the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers...so did all 3 of my kids..My personal favorite was Fat Freddy's cat who was always shitting in his shoes or sleeping bag...I miss them...I wish they would make a movie...I see Will Ferrell playing all three of them...or one of them and Jack Black playing Fat Freddy...who else???? hmmm....
Going to watch letterman tonight and see if I'm on...


the little Czech bakery and the Czech stop...

The Katy Depot, the original depot of
West, fixed up and is now a museum
. The Village Bakery which is for sale, in case your interested..
Jenny, me and Jamie last Christmas..I have lost 45 lbs since then and my hair is blond and longer..new pictures to come .got a new roll of film will ask Babs to take some pics of me..Inky at work...
We'll go around taking pictures of all the people I post about...we will change their names to protect the guilty..

Monday, March 24, 2008


INKY FUCKED UP...hahahahah

and I get to harass him about it for at least 2-3 days...Ok...here's the deal, the girl who works days, doesn't work much...calls in sick a lot, needs extra days off cause the kid is sick..always something...so T. was waiting for this Monday to fire her...she also happens to be....Inky's brothers son's girlfriend...got that?..So Saturday...Inky's talking to his brother and happens to mention that they are going to fire said day clerk...Brother runs to his son to tell him his girlfriend is going to be fired...He in turn runs to the girlfriend and tells her....She calls T. and raises all sorts of hell...so she isn't going to be fired..at least not right away..will have to do the write her up every time she fucks up and then fire her..In the mean time...Jackie doesn't get to work the day shift until they fire her...Inky feels like shit...(Jackiesue pointing both pointer fingers to her face...(does this face look like it gives a fuck?)But now I can give Inky a hard time for at least another day...T. said,
'don't give him a hard time he feels bad enough as it is'...I said..'to bad, this is my chance to fuck with him ..and I'm going to'....haha..But I kind of blew that by baking brownies for him and bringing them to work...
Babs and I were out and about this A.M.(and by the way..Babs a pussy) and we went to the other dollar store as our dollar store doesn't have nasturchin seeds...but then neither does the other one now..dammit..I bought one of those rod iron shepherds hooks to hold a plant on. to use to hang one of the bird feeders, and it looks really cool...I get off work early tomorrow night so I can go close up the library for Nancy..how about that for friendship..I give up 2 hours of work for 2 hours of free work...Then this Friday me and ole Babs (who is still a pussy) are going to go see James Hand play at Knights of Columbus Hall, and then the next morning I get to go to the Democratic thingy at the old Waco High School in Waco as an Obama Mama..(er...delegate)..James will go to Austin, Fort Worth, Houston, and then he's going to Europe...Holland, United Kingdom, and Norway..he even is going to play in Liverpool...and that's just thru April..
I spent $2 to buy a laser toy for Annie who when I lasered all over the carpet for her, pointed both paws at her face. (she doesn't give a fuck either)
The weather in West, by Goddess, Texas is sunny...little nippy but very sunny....I can handle nippy...as long as it's sunny...
Oh..I have been put in charge of end caps and stocking new product...Seems I am very good at it..(I could have told them that) so today I got to put the seeds, bulbs, swimming stuff, pools etc.. up where the Easter Shit was...and let me tell you...it looooks good..So...the job is kicking my ass, but I don't mind...I am challenged, get to bullshit with old friends, meet and greet customers and get paid..not much pay...but it beats sitting on my ass watching Guiding Light...
I'm off..need to take a shower and Tabu my ass...
fuckme till I squeek...

ps...I get the latenight from letterman news letter and they have a contest where you get to help make the top 10 list...I have entered it a bunch of times but today I got an email...I won a late night letterman t-shirt..they picked one of my choices...I have completely forgotten what the list was and what I picked...but fuckit..I won...nana nana boo boo..stick your head in doo doo..

Sunday, March 23, 2008


I think I may be to old for this shit...I went to work Friday on about 7 hours of sleep, was running the register and scanning products in my sleep..Babs took me to get my check and take it to the bank...All the ladies at the bank were so excited about me depositing my first check(which was short 6 hours as they fucked up)(bastids)..So I deposited it and when I got back to the car Babs said did you get any cash? You wanted to give Jenny money for her birthday....fuck no...I'm a zombie..I'm half asleep, the messages from my brain to my right leg are getting relayed to my left elbow and when I walk, I stumble and my left hand shoots up and gives the finger..I almost fell off the front porch..so now Babs only walks behind me so she can catch me if I start to go down..or at least yell timber so I don't take anyone with me when I fall..So I go back to the bank and have to explain that I'm pooped and my ass is dragging and can I have some of my money back..? Deal made...back to the car..Babs is taking me out to lunch....We're going to The Pizza house and Babs has the double meat double cheeseburger with bacon and fries...you can feed a Chinese family of 8 on that meal... I have the 6" house special pizza with pepperoni, sausage, green olives, green peppers and onions...It's sooo good..They do make the best pizzas...Maybe that's because I don't like a lot of sauce and they don't put on a lot of sauce..I think Babs took me home, I'm a little fuzzy on the details..I was a walking zombie...Went home and fell asleep and woke up at about 3 minutes to 3Pm..(had asked to come in at 3 instead of 2) jumped up ..grabbed my purse and went to work...I got there at 2 minutes after..Did I tell you I leave really close to work?..Inky looked at me kinda funny and I said 'What?'...he said you have on a Baylor girls tshirt...where's your work shirt?....Shit!....Then he tells me I look like shit...what the fuck is it with people telling me I look like shit?...I agreed, I not only looked like shit..I felt like shit...He asked me if I was ok and did I want to go home...I said, do you know how hard it is for me to admit I don't think I can do it?...He said yes, he knew...and he called Thom and said..I'm sending my helper home..Thom asked if I could either get Bubba or could I woke for 2 hours and he would come down..I was so fuzzy in my head I was hard pressed to remember who Bubba was and couldn't find his phone number..so I worked for 2 hours...and Thom wasn't there yet, so Ink called him and he was stuck on IH_35 in the traffic...but close...Inky said...go home..I said did Thom say for me to go? and he said No, I'm making an executive decision to send you home...So I went..Stopped by the grocery store, got some grub then went to the Hardware Store and got bird seed and hauled my fat ass home...I feel asleep in the chair, ate, went back to sleep in the chair..woke up..took a shower, and well, you know the rest...I felt so much better when I went to work Saturday..and was in a great goofy mood...Would wish people a Happy Easter or have a great Easter...Two boys about 18-19 were in line and I said...Now you boys have a Happy Easter, then in a low voice I said...I really don't care if you or any of these people have a happy Easter, I just want you all to get the hell out of here so I can go home...They were still laughing when they went out the door..Customers were saying "oh, you have Easter off, how great for you."...and I would say " Yes, and THANK you Jesus"...
(by the way..my old boyfriend James Hand came in to the store..he's playing in town this coming saturday....If you like Hank Williams ...you'll love James...check out his website on my blog roll...)
So here it is Easter Sunday, and I'm still in my socks, drawers, and my 'make 7'(on front) and 'up yours'(on back) t-shirt..I have been watching Jesus stuff on the discovery channel all morning...It's almost 1pm so I need to make me a turkey sandwich...drink me some diet ginger ale...if I can get my energy level up I will go out side and plant some flower seeds and feed the birds...or I may make me another cup of tea, kick Annie out of my recliner and finish my book...or .....I just might haul my decrepit old ass back to bed and take a little nippy nap..naps are good..yeah, that's the ticket...

fuckme I'll never dance again...

Friday, March 21, 2008


I started to write how my day started and so tired I can't..I went to work..Inky took one look at me and said I'm sending you home...I stayed for 2 hours and then I went home..I am going to take a bath, put on my jammies, grab my pussy(and Annie) and go to bed..see ya when I wake up..
yawn.........nighty night(ps..why is it no one has any problem telling me I look like shit?)

Thursday, March 20, 2008


Tuesday:2-8:6 hours
Wed. Off
Thursday:3-8=5 hours
Friday:2-8=6 hours
Saturday:2-8=6 hours
Monday:2-8=6 hours
Tuesday:off...oops..sorry about that:4-8=4 hours
Wed:2-8=6 hours
Thursday:2-8=6 hours
Friday:3-8=5 hours
Saturday:2-8=6 hours
Easter Sunday:store closed....yeah, fucking yeah!
total 56 hours...fuckme I'll never stand up straight again.

Today on the phone Thom must have asked Inky how things were going and Inky said "I don't know..I just agree with everything she says...I'm not looking for any trouble."

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


I swear to the Goddess there's either a full moon out or the crazy planet is in line with the weirdo planet, the stars are crossed, or I'm just fly paper for freaks and assholes..

So, my days off maybe a thing of the past until Easter, and only get it off because the store is closed...yah!..I'm running out of steam...or at least I thought I was until I worked my first day with the 29 year old dufus who is in the management program...Babs and I both take him for an asshole, but I can deal with assholes...hell, I married 3 of them..so that's no biggie..So I thought..So the asshole is never around...you're supposed to be close enough to hear the little dingy bell and come help out at the register..well, I beat that fucking bell till the only sound it makes now is a 'tink' noise when you hit it..no 'AMT'...I am waiting on a lady who is buying $77 worth of Easter candy for a party she's having(I got her address so I could avoid it as I don't want to be within 30 blocks of her house with all those kids hyped up on the candy)and I had 4-5 people waiting behind her..no 'AMT'(assistant manager trainee)
..finally he waltzes up and (6' 185, bald head, 29 years old)and says "What?"(...boil....simmer..boil....)I said as nicely as I could under the circumstances(all those customer witnesses')and said..'do you think you could wait on some of these customers?'...and (brace yourself) he said:"Oh....I thought it was something important."
If there hadn't been so many people I would have bipped him so hard he'd have a full head of hair...When the last customer left the store..I turned to him and said.."You know when you said that you made a lot of people pissed off, and I was number one on the list, and don't let the fact that I'm a 64 year old short fat broad fool you, because if you ever do that again I'll kick your mother fucking ass."...he laughed...I said:"No...I'm not kidding.My smile doesn't mean this shit is funny and I will kick your ass if you do ANYTHING like that again.....So he apologizes and I decide to let it go and not kill him...thinking..it's a one time act of stupidity...yeah, right...Not an hour later, I'm waiting on a customer..making change...MAKING FUCKING CHANGE...and he gets a phone call (not supposed to have cells behind the counter) and sticks the fucking phone in my face and says "look at this one"...(his girlfriend is sending him joke im's) and I said."Not now, can't you see I'm a little busy?"...and he says:"No, it's too good to wait."...I'm still mentally counting to 10 from his little ordeal before and I said.."Look, I don't know how to say this any other way..but NO......NOT NOW."...I was almost yelling..Judas fucking priest..and this dimwit is going to be a manager?....kill me now..
So Inky comes in and I'm still so pissed steam is coming out of my ears..and the manager comes in and is doing face time in the office with AMT(a mental turd), and I'm unloading on poor Inky about this fucking idiot, and what he had done both times..never can find his lazy ass, just ranting and raving and he leans forward and says"you know they can hear you in the office."..and I point at my face and said"does this look like a face that gives a fuck?"...Inky is in hysterics..First of all he's afraid I'm going to either have a stroke or kill the guy..all of which will look bad for him as he recommended me..So the dufus leaves and Inky sort of lets Thom know that Jackie had a little 'episode with the employee.'..so Thom takes me back in the office and poor Inky thinks 'oh shit, she's fired.'....Thom wants to know what happened and I told him, the only thing I needed to make sure was that when I did kick his mother fucking ass, I would take him across the street and not do it on store property..
Thom said..'hell you don't have to go all the way across the street, do it right out side the door, we don't own the sidewalk.'...So....it's only taken me 6 days to tell a fellow employee that I was going to kick his ass.....that may be a record even for me..But I'm not going to be fired..and I'm not in trouble...and Inky doesn't have to worry about me having a stroke..but AMT has about 1 week to get his shit together or he's history..
This is just the icing on a cake of being on eternal hold with AT&T trying to get my dsl fixed..sucks, bites and blows...First I get the robot, then I get some guy who's standing in a barrel in a hole whispering into his hands telling me how to fix my dsl...finally I get a human..and it's Sally from India...who I insult by telling her"don't take this personally sweety, but if I'm going to talk to an Indian I would rather talk to an American Indian."..so(and if I'm lying I'm dying...) she turns me over to a Mexican American, in Texas...I laughed so hard I think I hurt myself..I spent nearly 2 hours on the phone and all I got out of it was a ticket number and a phone number..when I get home I have a message from AT&T who wants to know how things went...so I call him back and tell him...and he keeps calling me sir...and Jock...which isn't making me a happy camper ..I mean it happens a lot...I have a deep voice..my name is spelled Jacque...so I get Jock, Jockque, Jockie, etc..and sir...a lot of sirs...So every time he called me sir, I called him asshole..he caught on after the 3rd time..I spend another hour and 30 minutes talking to Doug, Ben and some other asshole..it's working...but it's still slow...and I hear clicking sound on my phone..Doug said it was because I keep saying 'fuck Bush' on the phone..(I told him that.)I hope they did monitor my calls, I bet they had a good laugh over me calling Ben an asshole and talking smack about Bush...I can't believe I got through this day with out bipping some one, kicking someones ass or getting tossed into jail, for saying'Bush is a lying fucker'..to an AT& T tech support..
the only good part of my day is I bought 2 turkeys from Community Grocery for .39cents a lb..
fuckme till I continue to hold..

Monday, March 17, 2008


from work...I had yesterday off...work today and then have tomorrow off..I'm going to have to do some cleaning even if I don't want to ...arghghg...wonder if I can make enough money to hire someone to clean for me..now there's a reason to work...you know I'm a lazy ass if I am willing to go to work so I don't have to clean my house...

Sunday, March 16, 2008


They say hard work won't kill you, but damn...it can wound you...My ass is dragging'....But things are looking up?...I guess you could call it that..My boss loves me and that's after I said 'fuck you' to him..Some times I amaze myself...I asked him if he saw that Inky and I had stocked all the product from the one cart (plus we were both busy on our registers) and he said you were supposed to do 2 of them..I (quick as a flash) said.."fuuuuck you"...and he cracked up laughing..Glad he has a great sense of humor or I'd be out of a job already... I started out with a 20 hour work week...that went by the side after 3 days..and I found out if I work 30 hours every week I am eligible for the insurance plan..which is really good...It's life, health, dental, vision, Dr's, and scripts..For $8 a paycheck and we get paid every 2 weeks..so that's $16...farm out!..It's sorta fun...but then I've always tried to make my job fun...other wise..why fucking bother..and I love working with Inky..even if he does run around behind me with a chair, telling me to 'sit...sit...'...
So I talked to Thom and he said if we can hire someone soon I can have the 30 hours and work the day shift from 9-3 and all I have to do is run the register and front products..no stocking...I emailed the Brat Prince and he is going tomorrow and see about going to work..how cool is that..Inky and I were talking about a friend of ours who is getting out of prison this Sept. and Thom said, "Why is it all the people you two know are either in jail, or getting out of jail?"...I said..'Hell, it's West, how smart do you think the criminals are?"
I have seen a bunch of old friends in the store..and they are all so supportive and glad to see me out among the living..Even though I have been back for 14 years..since I don't drink, don't go to the bars(cept for the occasional Cowboy games)and they are all still out there drinking and getting drunk..So they don't see me and figure if I'm not in the bars drinking, I must have moved away..jeez, some things never change..and I do mean somethings NEVER change...Inky and I were waiting for the clock to hit 8pm and he said..'there's Bimbo H.'...I said 'damn, I haven't seen him in at least 15 years or so..'....so he comes in and is drunk on his big ole fat ass...weaving drunk..looking for energy drinks and candy bars..He sees me and is all happy to see me so I go around the counter to get my hug and he hugs me real tight and unsnaps my bra...yup..somethings never change..This is the guy that when we first moved to West, we heard nothing but Bimbo stories...Bimbo beat this guy up, Bimbo tosses sticks of dynamite into the pond and caught 73 fish, Bimbo stabbed this guy with a screw driver..just a litany of Bimbo stories..and Maryjo is about 7-8 years old and has heard all the stories..so we're at the street dance getting soda pop from Pope's grocery and there's Bimbo..so we say our howdy's and I say 'Maryjo, this is Bimbo'..Maryjo looks at him slowly...from foot to head to foot.....then says:'I thought you would be bigger.'....
Bimbo being average high and weight...every one around us cracked up laughing..and he has never forgotten it either..
While working yesterday(today is one of my 2 days off) one of the ladies from the bank Linda K. came in with her daughter and grand baby...she was so glad to see me and to know I'm working and we talked for a long time and then when she checked out she reached across the counter and hugged my neck really tight and said:"you know we all love you so much at the bank, you're our favorite person.'....jeez..nearly made me cry..And people want to know why I won't live anywhere else but West, by Goddess, Texas.....And to top it off....Brat Prince's daddy Johnny gave me some deer sausage..how great is that?..
Don't know when I will have the energy to post again..may sneak in another stumble upon post..they crack me up...
y'all come back and see me now....ya hea?


Saint Patrick...that hoser.....Saint Patrick is responsible for the beginning of the end for pagans..so a pox on Saint Patrick...and he wasn't even Irish..feck, mutter mutter..

Thursday, March 13, 2008


It's been a while since I did a recap of the hap's in West, Texas....the most exciting news is last week the Bold Springs Baptist Church made their hamburgers and I had one..sigh*....

West is having all sorts of benefits..The West Knights of Columbus have scheduled a fish fry from 5-8 p.m. on Friday at the KC Hall in West. $7 will get you fish, hush puppies and all the trimmings.
My old boyfriend James Hand is playing from 8 to midnight and they are charging $8 and proceeds go to Father Anthony Odiong's home parish in Nigeria.
KJZT is having a bake sale from 10a.m. to noon on Saturday.They will have your basic bake sale goodies along with Kolaches and sausage stuffed kolaches ..All proceeds are to go to Father Anthony Odiong's Education Fund. The West Brethren Church has scheduled a community-wide service celebrating the Feast of Passover linking the Ancient Festival of Redemption with Christ as the Lamb of God. The service, titled Jews for Jesus, is set for 7p.m. in the West church.(Can I hear an amen and an oy vey).
JCDA #829 of West will sponsor its free community wide Easter Egg Hunt on March 22 at the West Community Center from 10a.m. to noon. There will be 4 different age categories and you can have your picture taken with the Easter Bunny. (I want my picture taken with the Easter Bunny). There will be a bake sale and children games. All proceeds will be donated to the West Ambulance Association.
St. Mary's Church of the Assumption CCE students have scheduled their annual drive-through presentation of the Stations of the Cross from 7-8p.m. this Sunday in the church's parking lot. This year's event is presented in loving memory of Edwina Deiterman. In case of rain, the stations will be canceled..(I swear I am not making this shit up..St. Mary's is where I go to light candles and say prayers for my friends and their families..I always pray out loud..and after the first few times..when the little Czech ladies see me come in you can hear them shuffle to the back of the church..beads a rattling...They think I'm crazy cause I pray out loud and speak to Mary and ask her to speak to her son for me as he and I aren't exactly on speaking terms..I also pray to the Goddess and that really freaks them out...Father comes out takes a look at me and just goes back to where ever he came from...One of these days I'm going to ask him what he's going to be doing for the next 4-6 hours as I need to make a confession....hahahahah...
ok..back to the hap's in West..
We are having our annual BBQ cook off this Saturday. So far we have 85 teams. Last year we had 101 teams, but I don't think we will have so many...Lot of people aren't making the long time to come here for the Cook-off because of the gas prices..Our cook-off is sanctioned by the International Barbecue Cookers Association(IBCA) and will be judged by their rules. The fire department will be selling BBQ for $8 a lb. The Cook off is held at the West Rodeo grounds which is about 1/4 of a mile from the apartment's and when you go out side the smell of BBQ hits you smack in the face and is the MOST wonderful aroma..They will also have a drawing for a $300 charcoal grill which is donated by the West True Value Hardware Store. They also have several categories for kids to join in and be in the cook off too..Kids Barbecue Pork Chop Cook off for ages 5-10 and 11-15.
Garbage pickup prices are going up from $9.94 to $10.38 plus sales tax for a month...Jeez...when I moved her 13 years ago it was $5.
Jeanette Karlic is celebrating her birthday..Josephine Bezdek Makovy is celebrating her 82nd birthday, Some Daddy is turning 40. Albert Frank Miller is turning 82 on March 24th. Coy Klish is celebrating his first birthday. His grandma is my load officer and I got to see him the last time I was in the bank, and damn he's cute..Hannah is turning 11 years old and her parents took out an ad in the paper that must have cost $100.Dang! Mrs Zahirniak ran an ad in the paper to wish her husband Joe a happy birthday...Joe died September 28, 2007.
Katy Middlebrook is engaged to Kyle Frazier.
Eight people croaked...all in their 80's or 90's..
50 years ago in the paper they had a cake recipe ran under the title of "Easter is a Gay Season."....I'm sure that is true..
West Democratic Caucus sets turnout record..The total vote for the primary was just over 900, just below the turnout record, however the Democratic turnout may have set a record. Over 130 voters attended. This contrasted with precinct convention attendance in recent years which ranged in the 2-8 voter range. (yes, the Dem's are pissed.)
The Convention Caucus elected 34 delegates to the McLennan County Convention.5(including moi) were Obama supporters with 29 for Clinton.
Oh man...I just noticed..Ross Country Store has a new owner...wonder who bought it?...
The Lady Trojans open their District 12-AAA schedule Friday as they host the Kennedale Lady Wildcats in a 6 p.m. game at Kiwanis Field in West. We are 9-2 in the no-district portion of their schedule. The West Trojans evened their season record at 6-6 after wins over Gatesville, Connally and Fairfield last week.
Allison Andrews receives a scholarship to Hill College for volleyball.
West Food Mart has butt roast on sale for .99 lb. Community Grocery has Hormel Cooked Ham for $1.99 lb.
Jack and Diane's has a ladies amateur night and they will be awarding prizes...I'm tempted to call up there and ask ..Amateur what?...Amateur hookers, strippers, pool players, singers?...WTF?...
If you're interested in buying a nice home in central Texas you can buy a nice 2-3 bedroom on a large lot with trees for $65,000. Or a large 3 bd.in town with many extras for $72,000.Last but not least nice brick home, and extra lot. 2-bedroom, 1 bath, wood floors and antique french double doors, dining room and breakfast room, old fashioned cellar, fenced back yard for $159,900.
Friday Wild West Steakhouse and Saloon is having a half off on fried pickle o's and buffalo bites this Friday with $1.50 draft beer.. The Village Bakery is still for sale. We have lots of cna, lvn and other nursing help at the West Rest Home. Come on down we stay open till 8 during the week..
Babs and I made our trip to West Lumber Co. to get material to make shelves for her closet over her water heater. I was fixing to put em up when I had a drop in my blood sugar..I got up at 7a.m. so I could take Margaret to see Dr. E and so I ate early and then forgot to eat lunch...we was shopping...shopping shopping from a to z...Then when I came home to eat I had a phone call from T. at Family Dollar and Sara decided not to come in on her last day and I had to go in and work..So that's 4 days in a row for me now..But today was easier than the last time..but don't know how I'm going to feel after the 4th day. The last time we were in the Lumber Co. I mentioned that we were interested in herbs, veggies etc. and by cracky the guy ordered every one of the herbs and veggies I asked for..Chocolate Mint, Lavender, Rosemary, big girl Tomatoes, cayenne peppers, bell peppers, etc..Lots of great stuff..I'd going to have a garden this year if it harelips the governor..
Ok...that's it..my ass is draggin..it's 11:23 p.m. and I need to take a bath, and Tabu my ass. Fuckme till the powder flies.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


I know that will go over most of you young folks head...(tumbling tumbleweed)...never mind..
These are more stolen stuff from Stumbleupon...I fucking love this place..Damn you nitwit..it's all your fault...I actually came to one website that said I had reached the end of the internet, now turn your computer off and go outside and play....