I'm a liberal pagan living in West,Texas..yes that West,Texas

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


I swear to the Goddess there's either a full moon out or the crazy planet is in line with the weirdo planet, the stars are crossed, or I'm just fly paper for freaks and assholes..

So, my days off maybe a thing of the past until Easter, and only get it off because the store is closed...yah!..I'm running out of steam...or at least I thought I was until I worked my first day with the 29 year old dufus who is in the management program...Babs and I both take him for an asshole, but I can deal with assholes...hell, I married 3 of them..so that's no biggie..So I thought..So the asshole is never around...you're supposed to be close enough to hear the little dingy bell and come help out at the register..well, I beat that fucking bell till the only sound it makes now is a 'tink' noise when you hit it..no 'AMT'...I am waiting on a lady who is buying $77 worth of Easter candy for a party she's having(I got her address so I could avoid it as I don't want to be within 30 blocks of her house with all those kids hyped up on the candy)and I had 4-5 people waiting behind her..no 'AMT'(assistant manager trainee)
..finally he waltzes up and (6' 185, bald head, 29 years old)and says "What?"(...boil....simmer..boil....)I said as nicely as I could under the circumstances(all those customer witnesses')and said..'do you think you could wait on some of these customers?'...and (brace yourself) he said:"Oh....I thought it was something important."
If there hadn't been so many people I would have bipped him so hard he'd have a full head of hair...When the last customer left the store..I turned to him and said.."You know when you said that you made a lot of people pissed off, and I was number one on the list, and don't let the fact that I'm a 64 year old short fat broad fool you, because if you ever do that again I'll kick your mother fucking ass."...he laughed...I said:"No...I'm not kidding.My smile doesn't mean this shit is funny and I will kick your ass if you do ANYTHING like that again.....So he apologizes and I decide to let it go and not kill him...thinking..it's a one time act of stupidity...yeah, right...Not an hour later, I'm waiting on a customer..making change...MAKING FUCKING CHANGE...and he gets a phone call (not supposed to have cells behind the counter) and sticks the fucking phone in my face and says "look at this one"...(his girlfriend is sending him joke im's) and I said."Not now, can't you see I'm a little busy?"...and he says:"No, it's too good to wait."...I'm still mentally counting to 10 from his little ordeal before and I said.."Look, I don't know how to say this any other way..but NO......NOT NOW."...I was almost yelling..Judas fucking priest..and this dimwit is going to be a manager?....kill me now..
So Inky comes in and I'm still so pissed steam is coming out of my ears..and the manager comes in and is doing face time in the office with AMT(a mental turd), and I'm unloading on poor Inky about this fucking idiot, and what he had done both times..never can find his lazy ass, just ranting and raving and he leans forward and says"you know they can hear you in the office."..and I point at my face and said"does this look like a face that gives a fuck?"...Inky is in hysterics..First of all he's afraid I'm going to either have a stroke or kill the guy..all of which will look bad for him as he recommended me..So the dufus leaves and Inky sort of lets Thom know that Jackie had a little 'episode with the employee.'..so Thom takes me back in the office and poor Inky thinks 'oh shit, she's fired.'....Thom wants to know what happened and I told him, the only thing I needed to make sure was that when I did kick his mother fucking ass, I would take him across the street and not do it on store property..
Thom said..'hell you don't have to go all the way across the street, do it right out side the door, we don't own the sidewalk.'...So....it's only taken me 6 days to tell a fellow employee that I was going to kick his ass.....that may be a record even for me..But I'm not going to be fired..and I'm not in trouble...and Inky doesn't have to worry about me having a stroke..but AMT has about 1 week to get his shit together or he's history..
This is just the icing on a cake of being on eternal hold with AT&T trying to get my dsl fixed..sucks, bites and blows...First I get the robot, then I get some guy who's standing in a barrel in a hole whispering into his hands telling me how to fix my dsl...finally I get a human..and it's Sally from India...who I insult by telling her"don't take this personally sweety, but if I'm going to talk to an Indian I would rather talk to an American Indian."..so(and if I'm lying I'm dying...) she turns me over to a Mexican American, in Texas...I laughed so hard I think I hurt myself..I spent nearly 2 hours on the phone and all I got out of it was a ticket number and a phone number..when I get home I have a message from AT&T who wants to know how things went...so I call him back and tell him...and he keeps calling me sir...and Jock...which isn't making me a happy camper ..I mean it happens a lot...I have a deep voice..my name is spelled Jacque...so I get Jock, Jockque, Jockie, etc..and sir...a lot of sirs...So every time he called me sir, I called him asshole..he caught on after the 3rd time..I spend another hour and 30 minutes talking to Doug, Ben and some other asshole..it's working...but it's still slow...and I hear clicking sound on my phone..Doug said it was because I keep saying 'fuck Bush' on the phone..(I told him that.)I hope they did monitor my calls, I bet they had a good laugh over me calling Ben an asshole and talking smack about Bush...I can't believe I got through this day with out bipping some one, kicking someones ass or getting tossed into jail, for saying'Bush is a lying fucker'..to an AT& T tech support..
the only good part of my day is I bought 2 turkeys from Community Grocery for .39cents a lb..
fuckme till I continue to hold..


Elizabeth said...

They say hard work won't kill you, but putting up with the assholes you have to work with might!

Heidi said...

I LOVE that you are working because your posts about work are really funny. They sort of remind me of "Behind the Counter", the Wal-Mart blog.

Yeah, it always seems like they pick the biggest ding-dongs to be managers. Kick some a$$, Jackie Sue!

texlahoma said...

I know just how you feel about co-"workers"! I thought I knew all about the AT&T hoops you have to jump through but I never asked for a different operator. Oh well, I went a different route to get internet, not bad so far.

old enough to moan said...

OK Granny fill me in, not literally, what is AT&T?

The asking for an American Indian, priceless!

Your trainee manager is probably a prepubescent version of every manager I have ever worked for, especially my current manager who is under threat of losing his job any day now, not through any incompetence of his, its just we are going through a head reduction at the moment. Perhaps you should do the same and just bite the head off the jumped up little twerp before he grows up to be a real manager.

Why are you working at the store? Or am I being stupid? Your talents are surely suited to being elsewhere, such as the get Bush hit squad! But then again you probably already are, but just legally via politics, shame.

Mouthy Girl said...

I think you were my mother in another life, Jac.

Like you, I think I curse more at work than I do anywhere else these days. I LOVE that the AMT and Thom heard you in the office and that you let them both know you didn't give a flying fuck. VERY NICE.

The clicking on the phone, the comments about Bush, the request for an American Indian...the list goes on. This is one of my favorite posts!

Love you! Mean it!

Nit Wit said...

Sounds like the AMT has reached his level of incompetence. When I was in the Air Force about 90% of the officers and senior enlisted were just like that. If they screwed up bad enough they got promoted.
Maybe you should encourage him to Join the Army and see the world.
I hate DSL. I have High speed through my cable they ran fiber optic lines all over town a few years ago and boy is it fast. We have Verizon DSL at work and its disconnecting all the time. And almost slower than dial-up. The system I get to use there is a state of the art first generation Pentium with Windows 98 running on it, so it matches the internet connection.
You better watch it though, if you run the AMT off they might promote you again.

Anne Johnson said...

With all the people out there looking for work, why are they keeping that numbnut? Boss's cousin, I'll bet.

I never thought of asking for an American when I get an Indian on the phone. I study at your knee!

Rox said...

Jackie, reading your blog is like a crystal ball for me. You are who I will be in 20 years. If I don't kill someone now and wind up in prison, that is!

God love ya, Jackie Sue!

Anonymous said...

Wow. Your boss is just.... uh... wow.

How do you keep from snapping his bald little head backward like the top of a Pez dispenser?

billy pilgrim said...

those poor fucking turkeys!

force fed on growth hormones, penned up for an entire life time and slaughtered en mass for a lousy 39 cents a pound. and that's retail, what's the wholesale price?

i always wonder how a turkey can be produced for a lower price per pound than a fucking tomato.


elizabeth:hard work won't kill the dufus..as he doesn't work hard..me on the other hand..could bearly crawl out of work in this morning..
thatrudegirl:reminds me of the military and the 90 day wonders(first louies).
tex:I always ask for an american indian..pisses them off and makes me feel better..how are you getting your internet?
oetm:at&t is one of the number one phone company's...I have them for my phone and for my internet...they suck..bite..blow...
I'm working at the store more as a favor to inky than anything..they were really short handed..i was bored..and thought..oh well, what the hell, i can always insult someone and get fired or kick some ones'ass and quit..
buddha:yeah it was a fun filled day for me..ha..i'd take you for a daughter any day..
nitwit:yeah, inky and i were talking about thom wants to have a store in waco, so he might train inky for managment of the west store so he can move on..and inky said then you could be ass. manager..and we both cracked up laughing..
i know about the military..i told heidi they reminded me of th 990 day wonders in the air force...sigh*if he was in the military he'd be a general..
anne:nah, he has a great scam..when any bosses are around he works really hard..the minute they're gone so's he..think he goes in the back and text messages his girlfriend..i hate to see him lose his job as he has a 7 year old son that lives with him....
rox:hahaha...it was a long bumpy road to get here..check out he year 1974 on my blog...your closer to the truth than you know..js

Anonymous said...

Cuz, all I can say is that I'm surprised AMT isn't a stain on the concrete by now. I don't think that kid knows who he's fucking with! And I'm feeling your pain on dealing with AT&T. Thankfully I've only had to deal with their customer service a couple of times, but every time I have, I've gotten someone over in India with a limited grasp of the English language. Of course I'm not all that good with Hindi myself, so it never seems to go well - epsecially because the ones in India are really anal about following their talking points, probably because their English is so weak that they're afraid to try and formulate a complete sentence on their own. What I don't understand is how they save money hiring people in India, when half the time they end up having to transfer the call back to someone in the states anyway. Makes no sense...

Jan said...

I'm convinced that managers in training are bred for stupidity and rudeness. They just don't seem like the normal humans that we meet outside the store.

The last time I talked to "Indian help line" I asked where he was and he said coh-lumbus ohio. So I asked him how the Buckeyes were doing. He excused himself and put me on hold for a long time then asked if I would rephrase the question.


bigtex:yupper cuz, I have a feeling he is still a little light headed from the mental swat I gave him...I did think it was funny when they sent me to another operator in the us that it was a mexican american in texas...now that WAS FUNNY..
jan:oh i love that..i will have to remember that..they usually tell me when i ask that they are in india, one lady said she was in guam....

sageweb said...

You are so my goddess idol. I would love to be a fly on the wall and observe you at work. You would probably smack me with a fly swatter though.


pillybilgram:community grocery had about 12 turkeys left over from xmas and he needed the freezer room for the beef that us bbqer's will need for the summer..so they were .69 cents a lb..and he wanted to get rid of them..so knocked 30 cents off of them...had a turkey sandwich for lunch..with all the stuff pumped into them..i really could kick that kids' ass..
sage:haha..we had a fly in the store yesterday and we had been trying to kill it all day...when i finally swatted it i had so much anger in my i smashed him into 3 counties..ha..

Anonymous said...

So next time I get a Indian on the phone I can request another accent I cannot understand? Finally, some progress!;-)

Big Pissy said...


One of your best posts EVER!

When you kick that AMT's ass...(and you know you will eventually) make sure somebody gets that on video. ;-)

Gadfly said...

*Offering a Xanex and a glass of scotch to wash it down with*


While I agree, the kid is a hopeless fucktard ...

Remind me never to piss you off.


mimi:at least i was familar with the tex mex accent.
bigpissy:tonight when inky was on the phone with thom ..thom said something ??? and inky said..'i don't know,all i know is i am agreeing with everything she says'...hahah..
we have 2 camers and a microphone behind the registers so i imagine they will have it on tape..bu
t i know they are also working the schedules so we dont have to work together again either..hahahh
gaddy: i have always said..'im a scorpio...im either your best friend or your worse enemy'...i can be your best friend..

Unknown said...

At the last restaurant I worked in, the owner was prone to making these little under-thirty twats managers, and then she wondered why the other staff had no respect for her. Not that age necessarily makes someone a good manager, but whatever the age you should at least choose someone who isn't a twat! Call me crazy but that just seems like a good idea.