I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Monday, January 31, 2011

2,260th post

This is what happened to my throat when they put up the new cedar fence..who knew?..I knew I was allergic to cedar, but I thought it was the cedar tree, resin what ever..nope raw cedar slammed my lungs shut like the gates of heaven on Hitler. I noticed my allergies getting a little worse over the days of fence building, but didn't connect them. Then Saturday night I went to bed feeling crapy but no biggy..Woke up Sunday morning and my throat was almost closed shut. I could barely talk, and breathing was almost impossible. I was going to call 911 on my own but I couldn't speak loud enough to be heard..SO I thought I would call Babs and see if I could croak out something to her to let her know I needed hep..Don't know why I didn't just go to one of the neighbors..??? duh!..anyhow I got a hold of Babs and croaked out..can't breathe and bad. She came a running. When she got there, I tried to tell her how bad it was, and think she figured it out on her own..smart girl her. She said you want me to call a ambulance? and I croaked out 'yes'...So the ambulance comes, I'm trying to gather up my drugs, get Dexter in the bathroom, he gets out comes back in, he's freaking out..I look up and see the EMT guy walking up and it looks just like a friend of mine ...Termite..who let me tell you I love..but not the one I want in charge of taking me to the hospital..I'm thinking 'oh fuck, no way is Termite taking me for an ambulance ride.'...ahh. it's not Termite but his look-alike. He's working on me and says don't I know you?..(Babs says everyone knows her) and we remember he used to own the little gas station where I used to buy gas all the time. I told him he looked like Termite and it freaked me out..They know each other and call each other brother..weird..So I crawl on the gurney and they strap me in and jack me up about 12 feet in the air..or so it seemed..Dexter was flipping out. You could almost hear him yelling 'where you taking my mom.'...Before they put me on the gurney he started me on the treatment, who's name completely skips my mind..breathe in a tube full of medicated steam or something..Looked like a modern day peace pipe..It didn't do much so off to Hillcrest we go. ( When we get to the parking lot there are about 4 old farts out there..waving to me, Kevin said for me to do the Royal Queen wave when I got in the ambulance..So I did).Me croaking out smart ass remarks and making jokes to keep myself from sitting up in the gurney and screaming 'HEY, MOTHER FUCKERS...I CAN'T BREATHE HERE.'..
Get me to Hillcrest Scott and White and they give me another treatment and it's not working. The nurse is Heather and Nicole(Nicole was riding free in the womb) and she's great..The lady who took my x-rays was great..the guy who drew my blood was great. He actually did a great job as I have bad 60's veins..if you get my drift. So I'm sitting in this contraption bed sucking on the peace pipe, and this cute little bald guy comes in and says I'm doctor peteraheoerheoaereoeurrrr, and how are you feeling?..I said "I feel like hammered shit."..He burst out laughing and said, you said that with perfect delivery ...So we figured out what was wrong with me..extreme reaction to the new cedar fence and put me on iv-steroids. Whee..Before he left he asked if he could do anything for me and I said yes, hand me that book out of my purse. He laughed and said you brought a book?..said 'I always take a book with me no matter where I go..Never can tell when you have a couple of minutes of boredom..Books cure that. So I lay there gasping for breath like a fish out of water and then Babs shows up with the DAM news..Things are starting to look up. Babs had called my son Thom and Jamie and Jamie said she was already there, her boyfriend had a serious infection on his hand that had gone all the way across his chest and to his other arm. Really bad. So she came down and we visited for awhile and then her Mom and step dad came down and visited for a while. I was feeling much better and Doctor Peter said I could go home. He gave me a script for 4 days worth of steroids( I grow balls be strong as bull)..and an inhaler. So as I walk out I go to see the Dr and the aids/nurses etc to say good bye and thanks for the terrific care they gave me and several of them asked me if I still felt like hammered shit. So guess Dr. Peter has spread the word. Which was pretty funny. I needed funny. I need lots of funny.
Babs brings me home and runs all over West for me, getting Diet Ginger Ale, lemons, Sugar Free Menthol cough drops and what ever else I needed. We go thru the coupons from the DAM News and she orders me to eat and take a nap. Which I tried to do..But poor Dexter is still freaking out..I go to him and he starts smelling all the stuff on me..the name tag, the cotton where the iv was, and he's looking at it and sniffing at me..then he looks up and from the eyes that usually say
'Hey, hooman whenz dinner."...had this look in his eyes like..."Mom...you waz sick and they took you away and now your back and you smell weird."...well, I burst into tears. Think it finally hit me just how fucking scared I was and all the joking and covering it up with humor didn't cover up the fact that I had the living shit scared out of me. Not being able to breathe is a very scary and I was really scared. Don't tell anyone I have this reputation as a tough bitch you know.
So anyhow...that was my excitement for the day..and let me tell you..that's all the excitement I need. Last time I had been that scared was the shoot out...But.......I'm a survivor..but does make you stop and think....I'm 67, and didn't take all that good of care of myself ...to busy taking care of every one else, drinking and raising hell. So need to get serious about the allergies as I am about my diabetes...So Dr. E said I need to go to an allergist which I'm going to do.
We're fixing to have a cold front come slipping in..down to 15 by Tues and 12 by Wed and not above freezing till the weekend..So I'm holding up with all my drugs and the cats. Oh...cats. Did I tell you about Rocky?..If not I'll save it for another day..
fuckme..I'll never sniff cedar again.

IM SO FUCKING HAPPY TO SEE THIS MONDAY and Tuesday and Wendesday, etc.

I will let you enjoy your Monday cartoons before I tell you about my not so great Sunday..I've already alerted them on Facebook..but not you guys..but ..I'm ok..and all is well..and details will follow..and I will tell all..the stuff I left out because I have my brave front to project..but you all know me brave front and not so brave front..you'll get the nitty gritty.
so see ya Tuesday..