I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006


ok, I feel a little better now...I swear to the Goddess if I wouldn't disappoint so many people I would go out and get roaring drunk...actually I am more concerned about what i might do if I was under the influence...Thank the Goddess there is a 7 day wait to buy guns....I can just see me getting all liquored up, buying a gun and getting arrested at the outskirts of the city limit of the'ranch'(its not a ranch....it has no crops and no livestock except for them two woolly fucking dogs...so its a COMPOUND...)at Crawford...
oh Jesus, he just said he doesn't have compassion for the boys that date his daughterS..but you should have heard the dead voice he used to say 'no, I don't have any compassion."....................NO SHIT DICK TRACY.....WE SAW THAT DURING KATRINA......family is an important part of civilization....Jesus, the prince of understatement..Just how far down the line do we have to go to get to a democrat...??

It is another beautiful Texas day.....I went to community grocery store and bought stuff to make more stew...but think I will make a meat ball soup instead...and making homemade pizza for tonight...Went to West Hardware store and got stuff to fix my electric plug as it was burnt out by ac this summer and even though I don't use it except for the ac I need to fix it now...also got innards for the toilet and will fix it..also got some sweet basil seeds and tomato seeds...going to grow them indoors and then plant them in pots out side when they get bigger..also got some grease cleaner (got it free and the basil seeds as the cleaner leaked on it and he said if I didn't take it he would have to throw it away , so got it for free)..going to clean all the walls and prep the bed room walls and paint them....think i will pick the deep (ox-blood, sorta) red out of the indian carpet and do the walls and then match the tan in the carpet for the trim...but need to level the house before I start on the walls...I also need to change the oil in the truck...Thom had offered a while back to pay to have it done but I like changing the oil in my truck...I use castrol and like to put in my own plugs and gap them myself...Jackie of all trades..............mistress of none..
Oh, man....you just missed seeing Rocky in action...he almost got a dove...I have several doves that are here all the time and Rock is bound and deteremined to get one...but he hasen't yet....they are pretty smart..and as fast as he is...he's getting old and slowing down...he spent most of the day out in yard sunning and napping..came in and slept on my chair...with body on the hump part of the back and his left legs hanging off on one side and the right legs on the other....and head hanging off the end...looked like a throw pelt...
Going to go clean up the kitchen so I can start on my peperoni, sausage, onion, black olive, mushroom, bell pepper, jalopena and double cheese pizza...oh and did I mention it was 83 out today..............nana nana booboo...stick your head in doodoo...

Monday, February 27, 2006


One of the great things about your ass draggin' (or it is in the case of my ass)....is you can also dust the floor while it's draggin..kind of a two for one deal..I finally went to the laundry....and I am whipped...My back is killing me, my feet hurt and I am generally feeling like I have been hauled behind a pickup truck down a gravel road. Laundy sucks..blows and bites...But I am going to put on clean sheets, take a shower and do the Tabu dusting spraying again.. That will keep Rocky away....every time I use Tabu, he sneezes...would be only fitting that my cat is alergic to me...hahahahh...
I'm still reading double tap by Martini and don't know if it is me or the book...but just can't get with it..kinda sorta boring....but will plow through....
While I was in town waiting for my laundry to dry I went to our local used shit store..
Caritas....I have some small wooden tables that I want to refinsh and decopauge(sp).so bought some children's books with great art work...were .25 a peice..will cut the pictures out and paste them on crackled tables...pictures of Narnia, Winnie the Pooh, and one with just pretty art work...babies in nests kind of thing. Give me something to do when the weather is nice like this..
I am going to crawl over to the chair and rest my weary ass......but at least I accomplished something today....
fuckme till I'm folded and put away.


Sang to the tune of Tomorrow.....ahhh, there is nuttin' better than Texas Sunshine......looking out my door..which if you're wondering how I can do this as my computer and damn near everything else is in the bedroom...it's easy. This is one of those old houses with two doors...one for the living room and the bedroom has a door too. I am not sure what the reason is ..but lots of these old houses have two doors...Every since I had all the back operations I have limited my living to the one room and use the living room for storage of all my books, knick nacks, assorted crap....so my computer is right by the door and I can look out and watch Rocky play kitty opposum and lure the birds into the yard and then try to snag them.Normally he would be out there doing his 'dead cat ' act but he got into a cat fight last night and had cat urine all over and I had to give him a bath..and then sprayed him with Tabu and he is so pissed that he is hunkered down on my bed refusing to have anything to do with me. man is he pissed...but he smells so good..ha..The yards are starting to turn green and there are iris's blooming by my house.So it is a beautiful day in West .......days like this I just feel sorry for anyone that doesn't live here. The only draw back to this lovely day is............................I have to do fucking laundry. I don't want to...I have to...I am wearing a tshirt that advertises "zeke's social club in Hillsboro, Texas..a place no longer in business..and it is damn near the last clean tshirt I have and that is saying alot because I probably own one of the largest collections of tshirts in Texas..my idea of getting duded up to go out is a tshirt that has no paint stains on it..this tshirt is so old the shirt actually says 'ekes ocial lub'..the letters have rubbed off...Ok....I've stalled long enough....time to haul my ass and the 4 baskets full of dirty clothes to the laundry mat.....I will be back later on whimpering about how my back hurts...hope it's sunny and bright where you are.....

Sunday, February 26, 2006


"Mom, stop pacing the floor, your going to wear out your new cowboy boots."...I could hear my daughter, Maryjo's voice but it was just a humming in my ear..I was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. What was I going to say? Would all my friends be there?..I couldn't stand it any longer..I had to peek thru the curtains.......and yes, they were...Bab's, Denise and Sooner right in the front row..where in the Goddess's name did Sooner get a red double S embossed Red And White tuxido? Will the world know that it stands for Super Sooner?ah, who gives a fuck ..me, Babs and Denise know..Babs looks so beautiful in her new green dress..who knew that she could teach the roaches to sew? And Denise rocks in her dress of many colors. Oh man, this is just going to be nerve wracking, as I still don't know how to thank Toodle's for this great award...and to follow in the glittery footsteps of BWG, well, that is an honor in itself.."Mom, they just called your name....listen to the applause.".....(from the stage...and here we have ladies and gentlemen......our very own winner of the Toodler Award................Jackiesue Denney........)
Ok, I'm walkin out to the stage in my brand new Dallas Cowboy tshirt, brand new jeans and custom made boots with the Dr.Pepper emblem on one and Blue Bell emblem on the other...................and here I am....and what do I say:


I finished Iron Orchid which was really good...I like Stuart Woods very much.Then I just finished James Patterson's 5th Horseman which was super...It got tossed in there late as it didn't come with the first batch of books that I ordered. I am working on Double Tap now...Steve Martini...slow going at first...but is picking up..
Sad news, Don Knotts died and just when I thought I was ok with that....Darren mcGavin died...oh man... I loved him....remember him as a kid when he played in "Man With the Golden Arm."....but most will remember him as the grumpy Dad in "A Christmas Story"..which is my favorite Christmas movie..But when I developed my huge crush on him was when he played Kolchak:The Night Stalker......I loved that show...it didn't run long enought to suit me..
All these people dying like they are is tough on me..they are my generations 'old hollywood'....All my favorite actors, singers and comedians are going on to the other side...makes me feel sooo old...sometimes that 62 feels like 82.....At least these two lived to a good ripe age....no dying young for them..thank the Goddess...

Saturday, February 25, 2006


Man...if this isn't a grab a book, a cup of tea, turn on the radio to oldies but goodies station, then I don't know what it is...It's still raining..them lying sonsabitches..weather men...worse than husbands for all the misrepresentations they give out...its's still raining ya schmuck's...oh well, I know I didn't want to do laundry any how... I still have clean underwear, 3 tattered tshirts and a pair of blue jeans. I can make it till Monday...because thanks to Babs I know have something to do on the sundays since there is no more football.....................NASCAR....I have to admit, I'm still not hooked, but I have started to read about it in the newspaper....and the more I read the more I can connect to it...kinda..sorta...well, I am at least trying. I did find it interesting that one driver got banned for life for flunking the dope test for the 3rd time...I am not happy about another sport having to deal with drug problems..but sure do like that they do something about it...I mean ....how many chances are you supposed to get...? and with football if your doing drugs......what...? some one whacks the shit out of you cause your stoned out of your noggin? basketball, you drop to the floor cause your heart is on the outside of your chest from the coke you snorted before the game? but damn..racing a car around a track with 40 something other cars going 140 miles an hour...damn....lots of deaths there..so glad to see they said..no your out of here and you ain't coming back no more, no more...hit the road jack...
yup...it's still raining...
Rocky found all the thunder last night a little disturbing and slept on top of my head..everytime it would thunder he would reach around and pat me on the cheek...sweet kitty....
I'm still eating the stew I made..and the longer it sits and 'stews'..the hotter it gets..damn it's good...did anyone check out Denise's pot roast recipe? pretty good...but no chili in it...hell, I put chili in my oatmeal...
well, im going to go check out some new blog sites I found...one is fugetaboutit!!!
and i really do like it..and oldenough..and muhammad and me, you had me at idiot, and normy's corner of the universe..I like blogs that make me laugh, or make me think..or if I'm really lucky..both.....see ya'll...
fuckme till lightning shoots out my ass.

Friday, February 24, 2006


In answer to all questions...Jimmy Crack Corn is not a song about farting..that was just what came out of a hot sweaty Texas night in Sunnyvale, Texas with the kids bored silly and mischief in their hearts. Bright Yellow Gun asked if all southern kids had to have two names and I said no....but most of us did...but like my cousins that were called only by their first name were also called by both their names when they were in trouble...so Terry became Terry lee when he pushed my doll buggy into a tree,and he also became suddenly punched in the stomach by Jackiesue right after. While I was telling BYG this,it dawned on me..THAT may have been the reason that Michael Ray, Larry Wayne and Jackiesue were called by both of our names...because we were always in trouble...huh....and we were too...My grandmother used to whip them with those wire fly swatters...she would wail on Larry Wayne and Michael Ray...I on the other hand was never whipped....My mother would have jerked Big Mama a new ass if she or anyone tried to whip me....I was NOT to be whipped, no matter the offense..I was to be led by the arm to mother and she would dole out what ever punishment she deemed necessary, which was usually a stern talking to and a threat to tell Daddy..that would shape me up very fast..I would be good ....just don't tell Daddy...not that Daddy ever whipped me or yelled or even punished me...it was THE LOOK. The look of pain, hurt and disappointment. Man, I would do anything not to get THE LOOK.. He also had another look, one that if I was being a little jerk and he caught me in the act...would give me THAT LOOK ..and it would freeze the blood in your veins and stop your heart...My parents never whipped me..but I always knew that there was a distinct possiblity that if I pushed them far enough..they wouldn't whip me but would kill me...so I never pushed the envelope.somethings you just know..
Growing up for the longest time it was just the 3 of us...we were older than all the other cousins by 4-5 years....then came Michael Ray's baby sister.............DIANE... the cutest damn kid you ever saw....and we hated her....well, we loved her..you had to love her..she was so damn cute...but she stole all our action....we not only had to take her everywhere and keep an eye out on her, she got everything first..first drink of kool-aid, first candy, first dime for ice cream....oh God we hated her...but we did admire her ablilty to get the main amount of attention...so we thought of many many different ways to cause her as much harm as possible with out actually drawing blood. In my Aunt Estelle's house you could make a circle in the house...go from bedroom to bath room to bed room to kitchen to dining room to living room to bedroom....so we put her (as we called her) Di....Ann...(two words)in the middle of the bed in the first bedroom and then start running through all of the rooms and make it right back to the bed before she crawled to the edge of bed and fell off...some times...we didnt make it....and would catch her by her wet soggy diaper...giving her the thrill of her life...she thought that was so much fun...so did we...of course sometimes she hit the floor, but we would gather her up and hug and kiss on her and she would laugh and forgive us...not knowing it was us that caused her to be hurt in the first place....Aunt Leola was the one that caught on to our little game and put a stop to that fast..She was always the one that kept us from killing each other...not with yells, screams or panic...she never lost it...she would just say things like'you know you're going to kill that child don't you?'...and we would shuffle our feet, look at the sky, ground, each other and say "yes, mamm."..and she would say "quitit"....and we would say "yes, mamm".......I often wonder how we all made it with out someone getting hurt really bad, or our mothers going nuts and locking us up in a room till we were 30..
like Michael Ray always said ya'll ain't nothing but a bunch of A-holes.....

Thursday, February 23, 2006


I was reading the blogs that I read everyday and stumbled across jdaris's blog on jumbled thoughts and one was about jimmy cracked corn and not caring..which reminded me of my cousins..Michael Ray and Larry Wayne and me (Jackisue)out on the porch at Mike's house one hot Texas summer...Summer time Daddy would bring me up from where ever we lived and all of us kids would just bouce from aunts house to grandma's to another aunts house...so we are sitting on the porch and its probably about 10pm at night and hotter than the inner ring of hell...we are all in our underwear..I had no boobies then and at that time in history...little girls running around with no tshirt was a normal part of life..so we are playing war, or go fish, or old maid..some card game ..and it didn't matter what game we played we all cheated and tried to out best the other two...so we're sitting in the hot Texas night, playing cards and singing silly songs..and all of a sudden Michael Ray starts to sing Jimmy Cracked Corn....and I don't care..and we joined in and we're singing along and cheating and sweating and Michael Ray pops his ass in the air and lets one go, loud and stinky and sings in falsetto "Michael cracked corn and we don't care".....well, my God, you would have thought that was the funniest thing in the world..we fell out on the porch laughing and laughing. So then we go back to the card game and for a least an hour we sat there playing cards, sweating and farting while singing "Jackiesue Cracked corn"...leg up...fart..... laugh hysterically... Michael Ray
cracked corn..lift leg..fart..laugh hyserically....Larry Wayne cracked corn...leg up...fart.....and we laughed all night long..Big Mama(our granmother) finally came out and told us to quit that farting and singing which sent us into gales of laughter...I think that is one of the few times when two of us was not in the process of killing the other one. We just were three hot sweaty farting cousins....or as Michael Ray always called us....'just a buncha A_holes'..


First of all I finished another book and half way thru another one...Read Case of Lies by Perri O'Shaughnessy, and if I thought the other book was loaded down on facts about dna, this one is stuffed to the fucking gills with info on math,the Riemann Hypthesis, Cramers model, Sarnak, Wiles, and Bump. It is like a foreign language...There were pages and pages of shit on shit.....I could give a roaring rats ass....Peri O'Shaughnessy is a writing team of two sisters and usually I love their books, and this one was a good book but there was more info on calculus that I ever ever ever wanted to know...I didn't like math when I was a kid, and like it even less now...so reading about it in a mystery book was enough to make me want to stab someone in the eye with a sharp #2 pencil. Fuckme till x+y = 69.
Reading Iron Orchard by Stuart Woods and half way through it and not one damn math reference...thank the Goddess. I really like this one....okay..now to the haps in West.
Good news ....the trade days activities will not be lost to West, even though we lost the space(supposed to have been bought by Dollar General, but Robert(long time friend, and old drinking buddy) who is the manager of the Dollar General said they didn't buy it..so wtf???? anyhow we will have the trade days somewhere.
The Catholic Daughters of the Americas Sacred Heart Court 829 are planning a Fat Tuesday luncheon, Feb. 28 at the Lone Star Hall here in West. There is a great picture of 4 ladies in these great feather masks holding up trays of food.
West only had one engagement and one death but we had 3 births...now we are starting to catch up...and two of the babies born weighed over 8 lbs. each...and 3rd was almost 8 lbs...Nice healthy babies....2 boys and one girl...Andrew William Owen, Brendan Joseph Smith and Ashley Marie Withers.
St. Martin's in Tours is throwing a "fun day" to raise money for religious education program. the Nativity of the BVM Catholic church Parish Hall in Penelope, Texas is having a fried chicken dinner and polka dance on the 26th of Feb. Kaluza/Vanek Combo is playing.
K. B.'s Leroy Tavern is advertising their "The Leroy Mug" for $2..and happy hour from 6-8 Monday-Friday..(the rest of the time you have to get happy on your own time.)
The Wayward Sons are playing At Mynar's Bar. This bar has been open for ever...I used to go in there and play domino's and drink beer with the old farts..I was about 40 and skinny with big tits and I could beat them all the time cause they were so busy looking at my tits....now that I think of it... I may not have been near as good at pool as I thought, they were probably just looking at my tits too.......damn....
The grandaughters Mom has her picture in the paper. She is the historian for the West Chamber of Commerce.
The boys Trojans defeated Little Elm 68-47 in Bi-District....They play Iowa Park Hawks this Friday ..The Lady Trojans won first place in weight lifting...so did the boys...good ole beef fed farm kids.
I get a kick out of the way the grocery stores list their food for sale in the ads...in a row for sale are: soda pop, chips, beer and pizza.
There is a hog hound for sale..Lab mix. Exceptionally happy, good natured and alert.Things you really want in a hog hunter.....da da da du da da da du....ohhhh hog.....wheeeeeee....hahahahahahahahh...
House on Washington street(nice neighbor hood) 1 bd/1 bath..ch/ac on 2 lots for $49,000.great starter home...
Looks like I'm not the only one pissed about the new 4-way stop signs..Jeanette Karlik who wirtes the Thanks for Listening(shouldn't that be thanks for reading?) wrote this week about how upset(she gets upset...I on the other hand get pissed) about the new 4-way stop signs...and what makes me pissed(her upset) is that where they used to have yield signs they put up stop signs......kiss my ass....oh well....progress I suppose......
Will close with the best news of all....Hattie Hubik celebrated her 100 birthday at the nursing home in Hillsboro along with her kids, grandkids, great grandkids, and great great grandkids....way to go Hattie......and that was the week that was....in West, Texas.


St. Francis of Assissi said:"Lord make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow Love. Where there is injury, Pardon. Where there is error, Truth.Where this is discord, Harmony. Where there is doubt, Faith. Where there is dispair, Hope. Where there is darkness, Light. Where there is sorrow, Joy."

The Goddess Jackie of West says: "Great Mother of us all, make me an instrument of retribution. Where there is hatred, let me sow some attitude adjustments administrated with thy 2x4. Where there is injury, a kiss on their forhead and a kick in their ass. Where there is error, allow me to set them straight with thy mighty bip. Where there is discord, let me be the bringer of hard knocks upon their ass. Where there is doubt, oh Goddess, let me show them the way to the truth. Where there is dispair, let me show them the door and a slight shove. Where there is darkness, let me lead them to the light, kicking and screaming. Where there is sorrow....there is Dr.Pepper and Blue Bell....."

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


Looks like I am going to go down in history...which is better than going down on the Titanic....I used to know a girl who had been down on everything BUT the Titanic....she got more ass than a toilet seat...
ok, I'm done...had to get that out of my system. Sometime's it's just a matter of tilting my head and it just falls out..some time's I open my mouth and it pours out...and sometimes I sit at the computer and my little finners just have a mind of their own and it drips and drabbles all over my blog...What am I talking about?..fuck if I know... I am bumd' out...this gray weather is getting to me..I have discovered that I am sleeping between 2pm and 6-7pm and think it is because it is so dismal out that I have to sleep through it...and on top of that I swear I can hear grackels chirping in my head...kind of a form of tinitis...instead of a ringing in my ears I have fucking birds chirping...shut the fuck up...I suppose it's better the chirping birds than little voices telling me to "sicem"....or as it says in my new catalog about faries, goddess,' etc...."some morning it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps".....
I have a stack of articles that I ripped out of the paper this morning with the full intent of doing one of my world class( a word not associated with me...class) rants about fucking forest gump and his.....STUPIDITY....ARROGANCE, AND (A NEW WORD I JUST MADE UP) ASSHOL'DNESS..but I swear I really have to calm down for a day or two so I can do it with out killing my self from having a stroke..or maybe I'm just waiting for the 7-day's to pass by so I can go pick up my gun...I mean really...what kind of country do we live in that we are forced to pass laws to keep right wing christians from holding up signs that say "FAGGOT" at funerals of soldiers that have died in a war?....shouldn't common decency just sort of cover that?. You know..... I used to find it sort of fun and a release to rant and rave about forest gump....but now..its sad and scarry....I am at such a loss to understand what is going on and the absolute loss of power that the people of this country have because of this administration...try to do a 1960's type of peaceful protest now, and you either get moved behind fences 100 feet away or you get tossed in the clink...I truly think THIS is the dark ages.... I feel helpless, hopeless and the world that I know doesn't exist anymore....so....Goddess if you're waiting for your entro....here it is....SMITE THAT ROTTEN SONSABITCH.....SMITE HIM INTO THE BILLOWLY FLAMES OF HELL..

ahhhhh jeeeeez....

ohhhhhhhhhh, monty python is on.....things wil be better now....


Remember back on the other blogsite that shall not be named,when I blogged about this great sandwich and it was raisin bread with chocolate bar browned in butter and dusted with powdered sugar?....well, little chef jackie here decided to improvise and I kept messing with it till I think i now have made it the greatest chocolate sandwich in the whole dadgum world...(dadgum...did I just say dadgum....fuck...)
any how...
take raisin bread spread them with butter on one side each...on one non buttered side spread your favorite peanut butter, but I find that smooth really works better here than chunky....and then slice a banana on top of the peanut butter..on the other slice add the chocolate...then you brown them and before they get too gooey..slam them together and finish browning the buttered sides...sprinkle powdered sugar on a sandwich plate..place sandwich on the powdered sugar then powder the top side with powdered sugar...this may be the best version of the chocolate sandwich there is...and the really nice thing is..you really dont have to use raisin bread..can use any kind of bread...well, I think rye bread or black russian bread would fail...but you get the idea....and i found a great chocolate bar that works really good. adkins chocolate bar...it melts just right...and is just low fat enough that i fool myself into thinking the sandwich is healthy....but let me tell you my friends....it kicks ass....try it .....you'll like it..


I want you to know that I do shower and change sheets more often than I post about, but after being up all day long...at 2pm I crashed and burned for about an hour..then said fuck it...changed the sheets, dusted them with tabu powder, sprayed them with tabu parfume, took a shower, shampooed, conditioned my hair, powdered my ass with tabu and sprayed me with tabu also..crawled into my new flannel sheets and went to sleep..slept till 7pm...best sleep I have had in forever...Rocky seemed to like it also as he slept with me the entire time..so now I feel really good.....snuggly well slept good....but here it is, nearly 1am and I'm wide awake..fuckity fuck fuck fuck....but the good part is....it was boston legal tonight at 9pm and it was very funny...Candance Bergan and Tom Selleck were so good together and James Spader and William Shatner are like a well oiled machine...man,this is tv at it's best...life is good..
but you should see me..hahah...I went to sleep with wet head and woke up and look somewhat like a porkeypine on alert..hair is sticking out all over...except on the one side where I slept the whole time..it is all flat, so I look like a porkiepine walking against the wind....
Brace yourself tomorrow for another one of my world class screaming fits on george( I don't care if I am wrong...I'm president and I can do what I want to , so fuck you in the ass, I have the veto) Bush.Will leave now to sharpen my tongue...
fuckme till I fart tabu powder..

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


h. allen smith...great book....
actually I sort of feel like low woman on the totem pole..its noon time and haven't been to sleep yet...at 9am i went and did some grocery shopping..got soap to wash clothes..now all I need is to actually load the truck up and go to the laundry...got $20 worth of gas and not even 10 gallons..but no further than I go, it will last me at least a month..
I finished Cell, Cross Bones, and Chill of Fear...First two were super but Chill of Fear was ....blah...not scarry, characters were boring and I could see the ending a mile away..so I don't reccomend it...Cross Bones is kinda sorta like da vinci code, but learned more about dna than I ever wanted to know..
The weather is still shitty. Foggy out with a mist that reminds me of Oregon..this gray weather is making me pissy...me and miss babs...we be pissy. maybe I need meds...nah.....then I would be pissy and dangerous..
Jenny called me yesterday...we talked smack about her sister....and the dumbass boyfriend who is not good enough for her...
oh.... I forgot..when Mojo called me Sunday during the race and we were talking about her boyfriends(new and old) we some how got on the subject of blow jobs...she kept saying..."I can't believe I am talking to my mother about this..."..i laughed and told her."who else could you tell this to?"...ha...Found out she isn't like mother like daughter about EVERYTHING... huh huh....
Well, to tell you the truth...I feel like hammered shit..so going to go take a nap for a few hours...Rocky has my bed all warmed up..so talke to ya'll later gater...

Monday, February 20, 2006


Mojo had such a great time in China town watching the Chinese New Year parade..She kept calling me while it was going on and saying "listen"...and I got to hear the parade ,which sounded a whole lot like a drive by shooting...I told her to be sure and send me plenty of pictures....she send me 100 ....I swear she sent a 100..just ask Sooner, he is the one that has to wade thru them and cull out the good ones..well, I did some...I don't know which ones he is going to print..because she sent 100 FUCKING PICTURES.. silly girl..and puts a note on their about how hard it was to get all those photo's on there and I had better act grateful...and I was...got to look at 100 pictures...mostly of the parade which where taken at night time with a camera with the battery going down on it....plus there are some great ones of her, Rolf, Bailey, and her apt and yard....did I tell you there were 100 pictures....?so be surprised along with me and see what pictures ole Sooner boy has put with this post...
really....100 pictures..


another h. allen smith title...

President George W. Bush....2005



(another h. allen smith title)...
Ok, this one is going to be difficult for me to talk about as I am so pissed the back of my teeth are yellow and steaming....this was in DAMN NEWS, under Nation......it is sooo unfuckingbelievable that I find it hard to even think that it could happen and that there is a discussion about it in the House.
Does anyone else besides me find it terrifying and unfuckingAmerican to know that an Arabian country is in charge of the security of 6 major ports? Isn't that akin to the fox guarding the hen house?...this is the fucking article..(I'm going to say fuck alot here, so if that word bothers you.....? leave fucking blog NOW.
Policies don't address who Arab firm can hire for U.S. operations.
Washington..U.S. terms for approving an Arab company's takeover of operations at 6 major American ports are insufficient to guard against terrorists infiltration, the chairman of the House Home-land Security Committee said Sunday.
"I'm aware of the conditions and they relate entirely to how the company carries out it's procedures, but it doesn't go to who they hire, or how they hire people," Rep. Peter King, R-N.Y., told the Associated Press.
"They're better than nothing, but to me they don't address the underlying conditions, which is how are they going to guard against things like infiltration by al-Queda or someone else; how are they going to guard against corruption?" Mr. King said.
(jackiesue: "excuse the fuck out of me...but shouldn't the main underlying problem be....WHAT THE FUCK ARE ARAB'S DOING GUARDING OUR PORTS?.....WHO THE FUCK LET THIS HAPPEN?)
He spoke in response to Home-land Security Secretary Michael Chertoff's comments of the sale.Mr. King said he learned about the governments terms for approving the sale from meetings with senior Bush administration officials.
Mr. Chertoff defended the security review of Dubai Ports World of the United Arab Emirates, the company given permission to take over the port operations. Mr. Chertoff said the government typically builds in "certain conditions or requirements that the company has to agree to make sure we address the national security conerns." But Mr. Chertoff declined to discuss specifics, saying that information is classified.
"We make sure there are assurances in place, in general, sufficient to satisfy us that the deal is appropriate froma a national security standpoint," Mr. Chertoff said on ABC's This Week.
London-based Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Co. was bought last week by Dubai Ports World, a state-owned business. Peninsular and Oriental runs major commercial opperations in New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, New Orleans, Miami and Philadelphia.
"It's unbelievably tone deaf politically at this point in our history," Sen. Lindsay Graham, R-S.C. said on Fox News Sunday.
Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., on CBS's Face the Nation, said "It is rediculous to say you're taking secret steps to make sure that it's OK for a nation that had ties to 9/11(to) take over part of our port operations in many of our largest ports. This has to stop."
Critics have cited the UAE's history as an operational and financial base for the hijackers who carried out the attacks of Sept.11, 2001.

JUDAS FUCKINGPRIEST....I'm going to look up and see who I have to write to in my state to lodge a complaint. Letter to my congressman, the state senator, etc. Would write to good hair perry but don't think he can read. I will be sending out a batch of emails and letters to everyone I can think of in Washington. Because this is fucking crazy...I know the Arab's are asshole buddies with forest gump.....but this is fucking too much...

I swear to the goddess this administration is going to be the death of me yet.
fuckme till I wear a burka

Sunday, February 19, 2006


(more h. allen smith..)

NASCAR.......racin'......cars a smashin'....around and around they go..who'll win the race...?
It wasen't Babs heart throb Matt, but not for lack of trying and some underhanded whacks by Tony Stewart. I watched like the good friend that I am...until Maryjo called and we talked smack about her ex-boyfriend and her new boyfriend...who compared to the old one came out smelling like a rose..so I missed a lot of the race..but if you read Sooner's post on the race...it is so detailed..you will feel like you were right there.
It's still ass freezing cold here in my little hamlet...but not like it is in northeast, so won't even bother whinning...it is cold enough that even Rocky goes out ..pees and comes right back in.
To all you Monty Python fans......pbs...Feb. 22nd and Feb. 23rd....they will be showing the favorite shows of the group in 4 different shows....they will rerun them but I want to see all of them..ha..
If any of you are Neil Young fan's ...he has a new album out(yes I know they don't make albums any more..but to me..they will be albums and records..)..called Prairie Wind...and there is a song on it called "Falling Off the Face of the Earth." It is just fucking perfect...try it, you'll like it..
Oh, and something I just found out in reading the article in paper about Monty Python's Flying Circus....did you know when it first was shown in the usa...it didn't open in N.Y., or Chicago or L.A......it opened up the first time in 1974 in........Dallas, Texas...Eric Idle said they were stunned...not just that American's loved it so much..but Dallas, Texas loved them....go Dallas..
I normally don't read Shoe in the paper..I know I used to but for some reason I quit reading it..but for some reason I read it today and loved it...
Cosmo is stitting on his stool in the resturant and the waitress says:" what's happening in our world today, Cosmo?" he says:"widow jones passed away...................and according to this, when the coroner removed her remains..... there were more than a dozen felines living in the residence.".....she says..:"I'm not going to be one of those gals who dies alone surrounded by cats! I'm going to be one of those gals...who dies alone surrounded by empty boxes of chocolate."...
I thougth of all of the women on bogspot....that is us...
Going to go make me some cinammon toast and a cup of tea...(and some chocolate)

Saturday, February 18, 2006


The article in the DAMN NEWS is soooo small, you could almost miss it...next to the presidents sale of misc. furniture....little ole t-tiny article...but with the most important news that has been printed in a while...and I was looking for it...not this one exactly but one like it ..and I knew that it was coming...I have been trolling the paper looking for it or one like it...them fuckers..then sonsabitching motherfuckers....sneaky bastids..thought I wouldn't catch it and would not catch them in the act..but nooooo, not ole Jackiesue...I was looking and a waiting...caught them fuckers red handed...and here it is...

Ha..Motherfuckers....I knew it was just a matter of time...before they started swinging the Supreme Court to the dark side..and this is just the beginning...there is roe vs wade coming again..you watch and see..fuckity, fuck fuck fuck...It is the beginning of the end as we know it...the sound you hear is the door being slammed on individual freedoms...
fuckme till I'm a swing vote.

Friday, February 17, 2006


No one but other H. Allen Smith readers will know what that title means..Usually when I post is has a subject, like forest gumps totally fucked up administration, my granddaughters, mojo, my little town of West, something so stupid I had to bring it to your attention...but this post is going to be a mismosh of thoughts, replies and assorted bullshit...kay?
First of all...in my West post everyone was amazed about the prices of land and houses, etc. and that price on the house and acreage is not a missprint...the houses and land right now in West are down...more examples...4 bedroom/3 bath brick home on 1.5 acres, gameroom and lots of room $179,900....immaculate home on 2 acre, fireplace,4beds, great floor plan $218,900...3 bedroom brick home on 16 acres, shop building,$149,900..
3bedroom home in West, nice lot $$59,900...plus there is even a bakery for sale and Sulak's cafe is for sale for $165,000...
West is less than 20 miles from Waco, a little over 100 miles from Austin, and under 90 miles from Dallas.We are in central Texas....or as we like to say "deep in the heart of Texas"...
ok..enough bragging on my little town...oh and we have great schools too.one little thing about any part of Texas though is the weather..be prepared for good days (80 and sunny, no wind) to 108, hot hot hot.....80 degrees nights...and like yesterday it was high of 84 and low of 63, today's high is 42 and low tonight is 32(going to be worse tomorrow)..with 25-30 miles an hour winds...but .............this is rare..we don't get snow, and the chances of it getting much worse is pretty slim..so we have that going for us..ha..
Texa lost a cowboy today...so sad...Ernie Stautner who was 80 years old died. For you folks that don't remember the Tom Landry Cowboys, Ernie was former defensive coordinator for the 'boys for 23 years...he played for Pittsburgh before he became a coach...and his number is the only number that the Steelers have ever retired...he was a 9 time Pro Bowler in 14 years...so long Ernie....
There was article in DAM News about Kinky Friedman and his lack luster voting record...Now voting is something I am very passionate about...I may not like who you voted for...but I will be happy just that you voted...and ole Kinky has voted one in the last 12 years...He says that limited options among reasons for his dismal voting record. Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me asshole.....but having to choose between one dipshit and another dipshit is not a good excuse...maybe if you had voted earlier we would have had a better choice...Kinky is pissing me off more and more..he better stop tap dancing around "answers " for his bid for governor or I'm voting for one of them Democrats.
Last and not least....Forest's latest fuckyou to the American public...Bush is seeking $65 billion for the Iraq and Afghanastan war...first of all..I thought we had won that Afghanastan war and they had elected a government..so what the fuck are we still doing there?...The Forest Gump administration prepared a $65.3 billion war request, and Pentagon officials said the money would be sufficient to conduct the 2 wars at least through Sept. 30th.Congress had approved $50 billion more for the war effort in December.(explain to me why we need that much money for a force of 138,000 troops on the ground till Sept. when they are supposed to be reducing the forces...so wtf??)
If they get this money..it will bring the amount to $400 Billion fucking dollars..and they will be asking for $50+ billions in Oct. Also on Thursday, the adiminstration requested $4.2 billion for foreign aid, including $75 million to promote democratic institutions in Iraq, and $2.9 billion for intellegence activities... EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME...? WHAT? $2.9 billion for intellegence activities? YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.What are they going to be doing?..................searching FOR intellegence?fuckme till I go redneck....This is the same congress that before the last session ended they couldn't agree on anything but the fact that they needed a raise...now they are going to cut medicare and help for the poor, ...fuckme..fuckme...fuckme.. and $75 million to promote democratic institutions in Iraq? Well you better hurry the fuck up on that one assholes because while the Iraqui's are getting democracy...ours is fucking us up the ass...there are so many things wrong with this picture.......we are spending billions of dollars to bring democracy to a bunch of Allah loving, carpet praying , turban wearing,American hating group of people who are racking up kia's by the day....Judas Priest........Lee Harvey....where are you when we really need you...??
I have to go now....I have this stabbing pain over my right eye....so before I have another stroke, I'm going to make me a cup of tea and read my book.....or I might go screaming out into the yard in my West Baseball tshirt and my underwear...and Rocky has aked me to refrain from these public displays of craziness as the other cats make fun of him because his slave is such a nutcase..by the by....? Cell is fucking terrific....if this doesn't make you toss your cell phone away..nothing wil...instead of calling the book Cell, Stephen King should have called it "I'm going to scare the shit out of you for 350 pages."...
fuckme till I have a ring tone.

Thursday, February 16, 2006


Meanwhile..back in West....the city gives okay to cookoff....we have had enough rain and we are supposed to get sleet and rain over the week end..so is safe to have our cook off..which by the way is one of the biggest bbq cookoff's in Texas. It is sancioned by the International Barbecue Cookers Association and will be judged under their rules..New for this year is the Kids Barbecue Pork Chop Cookoff for young cookers. There are 2 age groups, one of cookers age 5-10 and another for those ages 11-15. The bad news is there won't be a dance this year and the West VFD will not sell barbecue in conjuctionwith the cookoff as they have in years past..There will be concessions booths on March 17th and 18th..Man, you should be here for the cookoff..drive down by the rodeo grounds where the cookoff is held and the smell is unfuckingbelieveable...hooboy
Ross, Leroy, and West ar having local elections...
The bad news is the town is installing new four way stop signs..damn...now there will be more places for the traffic to get bogged down...no you go first...no that's ok, you go first..no really you can go first, I don't have to pick the kids up till 3:30 and it's only 2pm,so you can go first....etc. etc. etc...
We again only had one birth, 1 engagement,2 birthdays and 4 deaths...Get fucking you guys...
Damn, the girls basketball team lost to Carrolton and are out of the play offs..but the guys are heading to the playoffs....way to go...
Land and houses are still cheap and plentiful...can get 10 acres, 3-bedroom home, 2 living-areas,built ins, for $194,900.
Czech stop and Villiage Bakery are hiring along with Jupe's Mill.Can buy a 1966 Ford Galaxy, 2-door, air, shocks,chrome kreagers, runs for $2,500..(what is a kreager?????)
Blue Bell Ice Cream and D.Pepper are both on sale at Community Grocery. Get thee behind my fat thighs satan....
Not much else going on this week...I am,as I always say..busier than a towel girl in a Jaurez whore house...I made a great meat loaf with potatoes on the bottom and home made dog muchies for Jamie's babies..They are easy to make...flour, oatmeal, peanuts, bananas, applesauce and vanilla...mix it all up and make balls about the size of walnuts and bake on cookie sheet for 15 minutes..hell, I may try one...If you want the full recipe, email me and I will send it to you...
My wind chimes are starting to kick up so maybe the northerner is blowing in...it was just a great day today...80 degrees, sunny and no wind...but no birds...they had all ran for cover...Because there are no leaves on the trees I was able to spot this gigantic nest in my tree...has to be a squirrel nest as it is way to big for birds..
Going to go check on my dog balls and watch Olympics..feel like I have to as no one else is....
fuckme till I do a tripple axle....


Back in the day he was one of my favorite character actors...he was in almost evevy John Wayne movie I saw...and even as a kid I remember him on the Groucho Marx show...he was sooo funny. He would speak reallly slow..he brought me many laughs...He died at his home and was 80 years old...Pedro Gonzalez Gonzalez is survived by his wife of 62 years, Leandra; his son, Ramiro; two daughters Yolanda and Rosie; seven grandchildren; and three great-grandchildren............ I tip my hat to you amigo...happy trails....


Here goes...
(1) what bloggers would you like to meet in person
a. Sooner/Babs..we all have to meet together....would be more better fun...
b. Denise
c. BYG of course(along with the family)
(2) Three movies that were so bad they were good...
a. Ishtar....I'm sorry but I laughed my ass off at that movie
b. Eric the Viking...had John Cleese in it...what can I say?
c. Cleopatra...Richard Burton drunk and Elizabeth's tits.....what more could you ask for?
(3) A celebrity that I most think is gay but hasen't come out of the closet yet?
I always thought Burt Reynolds was a tad ............in the closet....and if he was..what a beard Loni Anderson was..
(4)The most public place I have ever had sex and did anyone see me....Let me see.....well, there was the time back in the mid 70's that my steady fella and I used to ride on his motor-cycle..out into the middle of nowhere...and one time I decided to unzip his pants and see if i could distract him....so I'm all wrapped around him and working him up a little and so he pulls off on the side road....parked the bike..and we had on these overalls type outfits on and boots... we were both naked under them..so it was easy to get off...but we left the boots on and as we are fucking away we hear a helicopter and I'm on my back with cowboy boots up in the air.and these Calif. fire rangers are hovering over us and yelling and cheering us on...we waved and kept right on....I had chigger bites all over my ass for a week...
(5)Longest I have ever gone with out sleep....from Sept.69 to Feb. .70...speed....meth...acid..booze, etc.
(6).My 3 most favorite blogs...
a. Sooner
b. Babs
c. Dom's weird blog is fun..but I enjoy his comments on my comments the best.
(7)As an adult, have I ever been nude in public and if so, when and why?
Sugar, I'm from Texas...I have been naked and swimming in 'most every lake, river, creek, and tank since I was 2 years old...why?? Lonestar, Bicardi's, Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels, orange sunshine, purple barrell, payote and the urge to pee in the water.
(8)my funniest childhood memory....oh my.....so many...lets see..it could be the time we killed and fried up my cousin larry Wayne's pet chicken Elizabeth...or the time we didn't feed the hogs for a week and then tossed Larry Wayne in the hog pen, or the time we played cowboys and Indians, and we hung Michael Ray by his heels, from a tree over a fire, or the time we convinced Larry Wayne to drive his bike off the back of our uncle's flat bed truck onto a stack of old mattress springs and he needed medical treatment for the slashes and cuts...or the...well...you get the idea..in our (my) defense..we had no tv when we were kids and had to find different ways to amuse our selves...which always resulted in either tears or blood..or both..
(9).Scariest (real or perceived) thing that ever happened to me...You mean like the time Jack stabbed me with a knive, or like the time he chased me into a bedroom with a gun? Those were pretty scary....but ................must remember too......I'm here.....Jack is not..
(10) Worse trouble I was ever in? see (9)...went to trial...not guilty...
3 people who I want to take this...?
Dom because all he does is post weird news...and great comments...I know there are some funny stories in there.
Sooner and Babs ..cause you know there is a wealth of great shit there....
thanks..byg...I think

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


Like a kid in a candy store, like a hog in shit, like I'm sitting on top of the world...I'm a happy fucking camper...yeah doggie...The books that I ordered came in today and I'm so giddy I'm left handed..hoo boy...ok, here is what came in today and already spent 30 minutes rereading the inner flap and arranging them into the order i want to read them.
(1)Cell by Stephen King, reading it first and after 9 pages I have made myself a vow never to buy a cell phone...fuckit, I am starting to feel soooo good
(2)Cross Bones by Kathy Reichs...oh boy, can't wait..I'm so excited...
(3) Chill of Fear by Kay Hooper, this is just getting better, I am tingling up and down my spine
(4)Case of Lies by Perri O'Shaughnessy....oh, I love her books..I am starting to get flushed
(5)Iron Orchid by Stuart Woods, this guy is so good, I can't believe the rush I am getting
(6)Double Tap by Steve Martini....he writes such great stories...my palms are starting to sweat
(7)Turning Angel by Greg Iles........one of the best mystery writers around...my cheeks are red and a rash is going down to my breasts
(8) On The Run by Iris Johanses...she does it for me...sooo good, yes...good...good
(9) The City of Falling Angels by John Berendt...he wrote Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.....oh....yes.....yes...yes...yes....ahhhhhhhhh I love good books.
damn....I need a cigarette.....any one got a beer.....boy howdy....

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


I am shouting it from the roof tops, will take an ad out in the West News, The Dallas Morning News and alerting google.Amid my flurry of weird hours of sleep, I managed to read my favorite DAM News...and what do I see, but my own Red Headed Stranger peeking out of the paper...and here's what it had to say...
Country music: Song shows support for gay rights..by Mario Tarradell(staff critic)
Willie Nelson's crooned cowboys songs before, from the signature "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys" to "My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys."
But never like this:On "Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other," the Texas country icon sings about love among men on the range. Available exclusively at iTunes today, the song aims to show Mr. Nelson's support for gays, particularly to conservative country-music fans.
"The song's been in the closet for 20 years," Mr. Nelson said in a prepared statement. It was written in 1981 by Lubbock-born singer-songwriter Ned Sublette.
"The timing's right for it to come out. I'm just opening the door."
Mr. Neson recorded a song for the Brokeback Mountain soundtrack, the melancholy ballad "He Was a Friend of Mine." And the movie about two cowboys in love may have provided the perfect opportunity to release this new song. But Mr. Nelson also has a personal connection to the tune.
Two years ago, David Anderson, Mr. Nelson's friend and tour manager of three decades, told his boss he's gay. Last March, while Mr. Nelson recorded a bunch of previously unreleased songs for iTunes, he discovered the song in a stack of demos he had tossed into a drawer.
Singing "Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fon of Each Other" was Mr. Nelson's way of telling a longtime pal everything was OK, says Mr. Anderson.
"This song obviously has special meaning to me in more ways than one," says Mr. Anderson, who lives in Dallas."I want people to know more than anything--gay, straight, whatever--just how cool Willie is and ...his way of thinking, his tolerance, everything about him."
"Cowboys" includes lyrics such as "I believe to my soul that inside every man there's the feminine" and "What did you think all them saddles and boots was about?" But Mr. Nelson delivers them deadpan,which gives the song an air of seriousness.
Gay-themed songs are rare in mainstream country music. In fact, Mr. Nelson's is the first by a major artist. Before that, the closest is Garth Brooks' 1992 single"We Shall be Free," a cry for peace and equality with the pro-gay line "When we're free to love anyone we choose." Though it didn't forcus exclusively on gays, the tune stirred some controversy" some radio stations across the country wouldn't play it. "We Shall be Free" peaked at no. 12 on Billboard's country singles chart, ending a string of Top 10 hits for Mr. Brooks.
It may take a few days to learn the public's reaction to Mr. Nelson's "Cowboys". Programmers at KPLX-FM(99.5)"The Wolf" couldn't be reached for comment about the song, and Lorrin Palagi at KTYS-FM (96.7) "The Twister" said the station hadn't heard it.
"Garth Brooks said he didn't care what people thought of his song," says Alan Pierce, co-owner of the Round-Up Saloon, a gay country bar in Oak Lawn. "Willie is the same way. It acknowledges it as a reality in life. It could help straight America acknowldge this.
"The bottom line is we're ecstatic he's doing this."
"Cowboys" will be the guest of honor at a celebration tonight dubbed "Willie's Gay Cowboys Song Coming-Out Party" at the Round-Up. Mr. Nelson won't be there, but his spirit will.
On Sunday, a group of about 30 local cowboys spent the afternoon at the Round-Up learning choreography for the song's up-coming video. While the song played repeatedly, choreographer Darrin Davis demonstrated kicks and spins, boot stomping and slow, toe-dragging turns all in line-dancing style.
"I think it's groundbreaking," says J.D. Bay of Dallas, who works in accounting. "It's an incredible step for Willie Nelson. It says a lot about him, especially since he's from Texas. It opens a lot of doors, opens a lot of minds."
John Yancich, a chiropractor from Dallas, agrees:"I'm sure it will have some positive influence on some things."
Mr. Anderson also sees the song as a unifying catalyst.
"The whole thing is about tolerance," he says.
Over at Mr. Nelson's record label, Nashville's Lost Highway, there are no reservations or fear of controversy about releasing the song.
"Willie wants it out so we want it out,"says Kim Buie, a vice president at Lost HIghway."What this song does is give credence to something that I think a lot of people have known for a long time. Being gay is nothing new. It's gone through history, whether it's out on the plains or back in Roman times. Society puts its own standards on it, but that song makes it OK."

cause your're my Cowboy Hero....jac

Monday, February 13, 2006


One of my favorite authors and favorite characters....Just finished the latest of her series abut Alex Cooper, Mike Chapman and Mercer Wallace. Think these are the best written characters in any book...So if you are into Cop, D.A. and mystery you will love her books....I think her first one was called Final Jeopardy..Try it ...you'll like it..Linda Fairstein was the Chief Prosecutor in the Manhattan District Attorney's Office Sex Crimes unit for 25 years. So she knows her stuff..they are really good reads..I highly recommend her books...
Rocky is home and has been for the past 2 days..I guess he is all fucked out..At first I thought he had found someone that had taken him in and was feeding him, but I noticed there is a new female cat in the neighborhood, a big old gray persian type cat, and it seems Rocky finds her very fuckable and has spent the last week wearing the pussy out...all double meanings should be assumed....
It has only been 4 days and I am becoming burnt out .... (Olympics)for some reason all of the skiers, skaters, dancers look a like...can't tell who is who and what country is being represented...they keep sticking the flags up there to represent the person's country but damn..I can't tell you what the difference between Italy, Norway, or Germany, or South Korea..etc ....At least with summer Olympics there are enough black people that you can tell...well he's not from Sweden...I don't think there are any black people in the winter Olympics...I remember that Jamaica had some guys riding the luge..but I don't see a lot of black people skiing for Norway...
I laughed so hard tonight at Letterman..he had Regis Philbin on and it was pretty funny..David is like a onery 9 year old..he had a basket full of snow balls and was pounding Allen Colter with them...who also was funny...He is their secret weapon...and Biff was running around in hunting gear shooting people out of the sky....(aka vp Cheney)...
I have been holding up since the weather turned cold....it was nicer this afternoon, but still have the bear hibernating for the winter thing going for me..I have books to return to the libarary so will go tomorrow...Down to two books and I get antsy if I don't have at least 5-8 books checked out...
Going to go read Stephen Coonts's book Saucer...The Conquest....nighty night....


Lots of news today..on tv and in the paper...The good news is, the kid with 8,000 shinny white teeth won gold in the hotdogging snowboarding what ever it is called..the flying tomato is his nickname...he knows about 17 words. Dude, man, really, most excellent..and hi mom...are a few...the bad news is ...Nancy Kwan had to drop out, apolo fell and didn't medal, and our own sweet 62 year old Granny Luge took a nasty spill doing trials and broke a wrist and banged herself up pretty bad...mostly her heart was broken.It wasen't so much about the medals as it was setting the record for being the oldest Olympian...and the fact that she is now in debt for about $100,000 as she had no sponsers..she did this all on her own..The red hat club of women over 50 were disappointed that she couldn't make it too...she was the standard bearer for all women over 50...well, not for me as I don't need no stinking standard bearers...but do feel bad for her..but I bet she gets some sort of commerical deal out of it..as she is pretty, smart and brave..so she will be hawking depends, or denture cream or maybe a woman's viagra...
But maybe the funniest peice of news is about Grandpa....Al Lewis....seems when Al got the job to play Grandpa on the Munsters, he was afraid he wouldn't get the job as he was younger than Yvonne De Carlo who would play his daughter..so he added 13 years to his age...learned some great events at times when he would have been a young man..when he was actually a kid...and made up the biggest lies you ever heard...He said he worked as a radio actor, circus clown, trapeze artist, medicine show"professor," and union organizer in the south. He said he championed the cause of the Scottsboro Boys, nine black teenagers accused of raping a white women.All this while he was working on a doctorate in child psychology, which he was said to have earned at Columbus University in 1941 or 1049.The university has no record of this..
There is no question that in his not so later years, he backed up his convictions with his presence and his money.He advicated prison reforms, vigorously opposed the Rockerfeller drug laws as unneccessarily punitive, and argued both against police brutality and for police salary increases.I don't think it matters how many years he lived..it was what he did while he was living them.So Grandpa...82 or 95.....we will still miss you....

Sunday, February 12, 2006


Like I have said before...I think weird thoughts...but some thing that struck me as a good thing while watching the American kids in the Olympics....Is is just me..or have the rest of you noticed that the Americans all have these great teeth?....I mean when they smile they flash the brightest whitest teeth....big ole Colgate smiles..I think their Dentist's should be running tv commercials....Gold medal for Dental work....ahhh..only in America....


First of all.....our Texas boy won a gold in speed skating...he has 4 more to go...and I wish him nothing but the very very best......go go go....but please..stop crying...for pete's sake.I know you won the gold on the 13th anniversary of you dearly beloved grandmother's death and you loved her very much and I know she would be very proud of you...I'm not sure but I think I can hear her holloring from heaven...yes..I can...and what? I can hear it better now..she's saying "stop crying you big pussy."
But for the really big surprise...We (the USA) have a 62 year old Grandma riding the luge......this is her 6th Olympics. She represents the U. S. Virgin Islands. Go Granny.....Anne Abernathy known as "Grandma Luge" will be sporting a new look. She will wear a lime-green racing suit and a cherry-red helmet for Monday's start of the women's competition."I kind of look like a Christmas tree," she said Friday at Cesane. "The red helmet is in honor of women over 50..that we can go out and do what we want to do. It's a big deal for a lot of women that someone over 50 is going out there and doing it."

I'm sure when she said 'going out there and doing it.'she was refering to riding the Luge in the Olympics........or maybe not.
ahhhh fuckme till I win gold....

Im so glad I have my blog...I used to just let these thoughts sit in my brain and ferment......be freee little weird thoughts....be free......


Just about the time I am convienced that most Texan's are beer swilling, Cowboy loving(not the Brokeback Mt. kinda cowboy , the foot ball Cowboy)truck driving, red necked Jesus loving, Bible thumping assholes....they surprise me..and in a most wonderful way.
In the Letter's to the Editor section were two letters than brought hope leaping into my heart....please endulge me with reapeating them here verbatim(hopefully the people that wrote them won't mind)
Lobbing reform? How about congressional reform? To legitimately change the Washington culture, try these 10 changes:
(1) Expand and limit House terms to three four-year periods;
(2)require prior elective experience at the local or state level as a qualification for election to the House;
(3)limit senators to three six-year terms and require prior experience in the U. S. House;
(4)impose a five-year limit before a departing congressman or staffer may accept a job with a registered lobbyist;
(5)strictly enfore time limits on roll-call votes.
(6)Have equal party representation in House-Senate conference committees;
(7)prohibit alterations to bills once they leave conference;
(8)prohibit anonymous earmarks tacked onto legislation;
(9)conduct the business of the people in the open, never earlier than 8a.m. nor later than 10p.m., before television cameras;
(10)publicly fund campaigns for House and Senate seats based on an average per capita cost by state or district....Jeff Horton, Grand Prairie,Texas

and my very favorite...

The only thing that offends me is people who are offended. After all, the very act of being offended finds its motivation in the notion that one is so right that any other view must be offensively wrong.
I'm offended by Muslims who are offended by cartoons. I'm offended by those who are offended by those who are offended by the Rebel flag because they can't let anyone dispute their revised version of history.
I'm offended by people who are offended by gay marriage when odds are, they can't even make their own marriage work. I'm offended by those who are offended by me because I'm not offended by what they are offended at.
Embassy fires would go out, nations would get along, races would fade to neutral and wars would not start if it weren't for people being so arrogant, self-absorbed, self-righteous and foolishly self-assured as to be offended by someone else's religion, politics or sexual preferences.
Let me be the first to growl the one word that all offended parties should hear:"Enough!"....Chris Webb....Burleson, Texas

and even if he's not from Texas I would like to reprint this from Senator Patrick Leahy, Democrat of Vermont, to the U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales on the seperation of powers during the domestic spying hearing.

"Under our constitution.......WE MAKE THE LAWS..If you believe you need new laws, then come and tell us. If Congress agrees, we'll amend the law.If you do not even attempt to persuade Congress to amend the law, then your're required to follow the law as written."

maybe there is hope for us yet.......


I was sitting in front of tv watching the Olympics when Mojo called all excited..she was in China Town in San Francisco watching the Chinese New Year's Parade. I could hear bands in the back ground, children laughing and Rolf whispering sweet nothings in her ear...Sounded like a lot of fun...We talked for awhile and then she let me go back to my Olympics and she continued to watch the parade...but she would call me every few minutes and when I would say "hello"...she would say "listen"...and I would get to hear, what sounded like to me....drive by shootings...which were military bands, all Chinese Military Bands, and those same kidsl yelling and screaming..I told her...just take pictures and I will have ole Soonerboy put them on the blog...so I am expecting lots of good pictures of the parade..When I was in San Francisco for those 7 months, I worked about 12 hours a day 7 days a week until I said I just couldn't do it any longer and they allowed me to have Sunday off(so I could watch the cowboys play)..that was the year the Cowboys won the super bowl and Jimmy Johnson said when they were going to play the 49ers, they were going to kick their ass in the playoffs..and they did...in the mean time I'm running around San Fran with my Dallas Cowboy's t'shirts, my Tom Landry memorial Tshirt and my little Texas flag...oh, yes, had a tshirt that said "If you are very good, when you die, you might go to Texas.."....and after the playoff when we did kick their ass, my son David sent me a tshirt that showed one of the Cowboys tackling a 49er and almost taking his head off...so to say I wasn't exactly the most welcome visitor in the city is to say Bush is unpopular. People would hear me talk and say "where are you from?" and I would of course say, "West, by God, Texas and wish I was there right now"..and the fight would be on...which is why I loved going to China town for gifts for the kids, and grandkids. At least i knew if they were rude to me, it was because I was a round eye, and not because I was from Texas. I missed so many things about Texas while I was there. People being polite just because they were raised that way. People that made eye contact and smiled at you..and the amount of homeless on the streets with severe illness's was really scary. One street guy had a dog that looked so much like my dog Bill, who had died in Texas while I was away just broke my heart..So every day I would bring the guy some change and a can of Alpo..when he said he didn't have a can opener... I bought him one.I made everyone bring their scraps from their lunch and dinner back to me and I would take it to the dog..He probably ate better than most of the homeless people in the city. When I finally got to come home it was like a race from hell..It all started when we first got to Calif. ..we were in Long Beach first...2 weeks there, and that was when they had the Laguna Beach fires...which chased us all the way to Burbank, Calif. and was there for 4 weeks, we went to San Francisco and 2 days later they had the earth quake that about did in LA. and destoyed the Burbank store. When we finally left San Fran. I was going to go down highway 1 so Mojo could see how beautiful it was..but it had been raining for about 4 days and I decided to go the other way because of the mud slides...you got it..the road we would have taken was covered with mud slides...and as we were going across the country to get to Texas, we were being followed by a snow storm..and 10 minutes after we pulled into David's drive way the storm caught up with us...it was really weird....but the best part was when we crossed over the state line from New Mexico to Texas...the first person we saw was a cowboy driving a truck and he tipped his hat at us...I burst into tears, pulled into the first convience store and bought a Dr.Pepper....I was home...Which is why I am settled in here in my little cozy town of wacko Czech's...Yes sir, rebob, buddy boy and I do mean Howdy....I am home......
fuckme till I strike oil(awl)