I AM WOUNDED

I went to Dr. E today...he looked at me sitting in his office with my socks and shoes off and gently said 'I don't do toes.'...But he did say it was an infected corn on my right pinkie toe and they made me an apt. with the ' Foot Dr.' who comes to West once a month..I believe he comes in on the stage coach, and says over at Miss Kitty's Saloon for the night. I could go to Waco and see a foot Dr. there, but probably not before our traveling Foot Dr. gets here, so I will take the antibiotics that he gave me and stay off of it for 2 days..Which is a boon as my ass is wore out anyhow..I think the reason I have the corn is from all the fucking walking I have been doing the past 3 weeks putting up stock..Why did that just occur to me?...sigh* I was going to let Babs take me to go get the Wed. West paper and pick up my script but opted out for a nap instead..naps are good...I slept really good til Annie discovered the empty boxes and decided to play 'crazy kitty' for about 30 minutes right as I was napping. I had left the TV turned to the Food Channel and woke up to the screeching of Paula Deane..Judas priest that woman's voice is like nails on a chalk board...I turn the TV off the second she says "y'all" and when Rachael Rae says "evoo"...I wanna bip her too. Can you tell I'm grumpy?..Being an old fart (even with the tabu) does not agree with me. I'm reading a really good book called The Eight, and I am really enjoying it..but it's a paperback and the print is so small I'm about to throw it in the garbage..I may call Nancy at the library and see if she can't get the same book from the Waco Library in large print, or at least in hardback, before I go blind trying to read this small print. I have caught up on most of the books I have been wanting to read. The Steven Koontz book, the Stephen King short stories, Jeffery Deaver, Robin Cook, David Balducchi(SPELLING)..They were all really good..except for the Robin Cook one...I have started it 3 different times and still end up putting it down. Also finished the Gate House and I fecking loved that book. Also waiting not so patiently for Patrick Rothfuss's new book too...Inky didn't come to work today....he said he was 'sick'....uh....kay!...I think he knew Tom was coming and going to give him a lecture and he didn't want to deal with it..He's like a kid sometimes. Well, this post just couldn't get any more boring..so if you want some fun..go over to Kevin's blog..he's posted 3 of the funniest post in a long time..If you have even cut your tongue on ribbon candy, you really have to go read his post on ribbon candy..Cracked my ass up...ok..I'm starting to bore myself...I need another nap. I love you all and promise to better next time..maybe I'll throw in some stumbles to make up for it...

SENT TO ME BY JOE

I don't know who Joe is, but he's a friend of tsduff, so maybe she told him to send it to me too..who ever what ever...I cracked up....check it out...It's Uncle Jay singing the 2008 year news..hot dang!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWiXy55OHyY

WHAT THE FUCK???

It's 5:38 A.M., I've been up since 4fuckingA.M. (that's different from Greenwich time). I went to sleep while Letterman was still doing his monologue and had the weirdest damn dreams. It had to do with some sort of activity that a huge amount of people had paid $20 a piece to attend I was in a vehicle where we had to stand up with 4 other people, none of which did I know...I got along great with 3 of them but the one guy and I had instant hate going for us. We ended up getting into a huge fight and I bit him on the chin....Then we got to where ever we were going which was some sort of school, restaurant, apartment complex. Oh did I mention that through the entire dream I'm 65 years old, buck nekkid with these terrific perky tits. No one seemed to notice that I had terrific perky tits for a 65 year old..Actually in the dream I looked a lot like I did when I was about 18, but I was 65 years old..There were a bunch of old TV stars and movie stars and they all knew me and my name. I seemed to be very impressed that 'Goober' (who had on a Jughead beanie) from Mayberry knew me by name and was very glad to see me..big hugs and a grab on my nekkid ass.

I remember thinking where's Paul Newman? Then Jamie was in the dream except instead of being 19 she was about 4 years old and a pain in the ass...I kept having to discipline her but I kept calling her Jennifer(I'm mad at Jennifer in real life). Then I had to find my apartment because I had no make up on and my hair was a mess. There was no urgency to find any clothes as no one seemed to notice except Goober. Then the next thing I know we're back on the stand up vehicle and the guy who I had the fight with decided he liked me now and tried to kiss me. I had a long white towel wrapped around me from head to toe. When he reached out for me I said "touch me and die."..then I woke up....Here it is nearly 2 hours later and I'm into my 2nd cup of decaf hot tea. Another thing that woke me up is I have a blister on my little toe on my right foot. Being diabetic any problems with your feet is a major concern and now I have that to deal with. Fiddle fuck!...Plus on top of every thing I managed to piss Inky off, which is less concerning than the blister on the toe. Every since he turned down the Managers job and had to work the 10 days with no days off, he's done very little work. When he works with Bam Bam all they do is hang out at the register and flirt with each other..Harmless really..nothing to it..but he's not doing his work. So yesterday I called him on it..Mentioned that I was not going to unpack the Valentines Day Candy cause I thought it was about time the night shift did some work. He said 'you should work nights and see what kind of work we do.' I said "I have worked the night shift and I know it took 2 hours for us to do recovery before the shift ended and it's not being done now."....A lot of muttering and stewing and out the door he went. So later on the afternoon I'm at Old Corner Drug getting my folic acid and diabetes supplies and he and Anessa walked right by me with out a word. I asked her if she was ok,(she had sack of pills) and after a lengthy time she said 'I'm fine, same ole same ole.' and Inky just shrugged his shoulders and didn't say a word. I almost burst out laughing. I was so tempted to shout out to them 'nana nana boo boo, stick your head in doo doo.'....Oh well, they'll get over it..All I know is when Tom called I asked him if he had time to listen to me bitch and whine and he said wait a minute let me get a cigarette and a chair. So I unloaded on him about all the work that wasn't getting done, that a 65 year old lady was doing more in 4 hours than those 3 were doing in 7-8 hours. He agreed, told me to quit working so hard and said he was coming up there and would talk to Inky face to face. He had talked to him the day before on the phone and told him how disappointed he was in him and if he didn't want to work there any more to write his resignation and hand it in. Inky assured him he would start doing better and then the same day...blew it off..Didn't do jackshit. So ....Things will either change or Jackie is going back into retirement...I'm waaaaay to fucking old for this shit. Ain't dying for the company store.

Well this was a no nothing post. It's 6:06fucking A.M. and now I'm starting to get sleepy and have to get up in an hour. sigh*

fuckme I'll never smile again.

MY FRIEND DANNY NOEL

This is my friend Danny...He and Pat his partner hired me to go to work for the Book Market Book Warehouse way back in the late 80's...I had worked for them before, but only part time and this time they hired me to work as a manager of the store in Waco, Texas. I ran it for about 6 weeks and then they hired me as a field supervisor and worked for them for a couple of years ....But Dan and Pat became my buddies..Mojo worked for Pat in one of the Northern Calif. stores while I worked at the San Francisco store...eeeeek!...Dan and I are still the best of buds...he is an actor in the Maine area, he wrote, produced, directed(?) and acted in his play about Longfellow. It was a big hit and so was he. He is not only loved by me..he is loved by many..and if you can, tell the photographer really liked him too. If you go to his website you can read what he says about Danny in each photo..It's pretty cool...but then so is my friend.

check out Kevin's work..he's really good...
http://kbphoto.pixyblog.com/
Kevin Brusie photography
82 gilman street
Portland, Me 04102
207 - 761 - 8113

DAMN NEWS

I love my DAM News. For you new folk...DAM News is my version of Dallas Morning News..I haven't been getting it delivered to my front porch like I'm used to so I have been making obscene phone calls to the dispatcher. That'll teach them to randomly give out phone numbers. I told him when I opened up my door I wanted to find my paper on the porch and if it wasn't it made my day start our with an "ah fuck", and that was not the way I wanted to start my day. I told him I wasn't going to scream about how I was going to cancel my paper if they didn't start delivering it like they're supposed to as everyone knows I love my paper to much to do that. But there wasn't any thing stopping me from making his life as miserable as possible and trust me, I have made it my life's work to fuck with people on a daily basis and I wouldn't mind adding him to my list. So far it's been 5 days and my paper is right there on my porch every morning. Sometimes being an asshole is the high light of my day. That plus the peanut butter cookies I made for Babs. Oh man..they are so good. I ate one and sat down on the kitchen floor and wept, knowing that was the only one I could have..fuckity fuck fuck fuck..I have got to lose 40 more pounds so I can control my diabetes better. I'm not having any trouble controlling the diabetes, it's the controlling the urge to eat the cookies I keep baking that I'm having trouble with. Sort of like when I drank. After I quit people would say I didn't think you had a problem drinking...and I would reply....I didn't have a problem drinking...the problem was the stopping part I couldn't seem to get a handle on...Jeez, what's the deal? I gave up cigarettes with no problem, I quit drinking with no problem and quit fucking with absolutely noooooo problem, but carbs?..Cookies are like crack. I want pasta so bad I could beat the crap out of Chef Boyardee for a handful of warm 'skgetty'...Oh...and rice...man do I miss rice. If you read in the paper about a fat woman robbing all the sticky rice from Shogun's Japanese Restaurant on Waco Dr. in Waco, TX. You'll know it was this little fat woman. It's the weirdest thing....I have about a dozen peanut butter cookies in a tin for the guys at work..and I swear I can hear them fuckers calling my name..Is it true if you eat cookies in the dark you won't get carbs from them as they can't find they're way in the dark?...just a thought..
Remember when I was bragging about our 80 degree weather?
The Goddess must have been listening (we all know how she feels about talking about the weather) because we had a REAL cold front come in and the high to day was in the mid 40's and high tomorrow is 38...That'll teach me to rub it in on all you snow bound folks...Hope we get some rain out of it.
Remember after Thanksgiving I went to the House of Satan on Black Friday?...bought a new vcr/dvd?....Well, I can't figure out how to get the fucker to work...I read the destruction's and nothing...So I figured out I need someone with balls. I mentioned that to Babs in an email and when I called to tell her I was bring cookies over, she answered the phone "I don't have any balls."...I'm going to call David O. and promise him a blow job. That's what I always promise him when he does those things that it takes balls to do. He always laughs and says "yeah, right"...
I'm pissed ...the Eagles beat the Vikings...That's enough to piss off the Pope. Congratulations Anne, your team won. Now to figure out who they play next week...I ended up the season with 159-89-8 and so far I'm not doing so good during the play offs...good thing I didn't bet any money. You never know what's going to happen during play offs. I know I know...most of you don't give a shit about football, but I do...
Ok...I'm out of here..I'm going to make sure those cookies aren't smothering to death in that tin...fuckme I'll never bake cookies again.
Well hell!...I got to rambling and forgot to tell you about what I read in my DAM News....I'm such a dufus. Anyhow..I read this quote from former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and all I could think of was I didn't know how he could cross his legs his balls are so big."I consider myself a casualty, one of the many casualties of the war on terror.".saying he was victimized by his enemies....(He once approved harsh interrogation tactics against terror suspects.) Yeah, you know what you asshole? No one strapped you to an ironing board and wrapped your head in a towel and poured water on your face till you thought you were going to drown. No one hooked a battery to your nuts and gave you a few thousand volts till you named your favorite Aunt Louise as a enemy combatant. Now if anyone needs to be bipped ..it's that asshole...
ok...I'm done.

WHY AUSTIN IS MY 2ND FAVORITE CITY IN TEXAS

You have to go check it out...Keep Austin Weird was made up by the people that have this website..but now the term has been stolen, patented and made into a commercial product. On t-shirts, mugs, hats and bumper stickers..What a joke..anyhow you have to check it out..it's pretty funny and one of the reasons why I love Austin, but the Austin I loved the most isn't there any more..The XS-Ranch is gone and in it's place is a bunch of mcmansions...which are butt ugly..All the baby Brahma's with the velvet ears and doe eyes are gone...no more Rodeo Clown School, no more rodeo school with me cooking for about 50 teenage cowboys in chaps and spurs...Well, they also had shirts, hats and jeans but I was very impressed with the chaps and spurs..If I remember correctly they all looked like Matt Dillion and called me ma'am. The Nudist/Fat Farm is gone and it its place is the fanciest smanciest 'Spa' in Texas. There are a zillion three people there and getting around in traffic gives me a panic attack to even think about it. Shady Lane zips around the hills and dales in her little black Corvette calling everyone yuppie motherfuckers and giving them the finger. The Armadillo World Headquarters is gone. Broken Spoke is still there, but it's not the same. All the redneck hippies have become the rich yuppies Shady calls motherfuckers...and they all drive like they own the road and most of them are from Chicago, Detroit, or L.A....it sucks...but I still love the idea of it...But when I do go back I just head out to Shady's little oases on Lake Austin and watch the duck weed grow and the eagles soar. Oh by the way...it's going to be over 80 degrees again today....
http://www.keepaustinweird.com/

BUSHISMS

You know?....I'm not going to miss any of this stupid shit..16 days left...but then who's counting?....
President George W. Bush will leave behind a legacy of Bushisms, the label stamped on the commander in chief's original speaking style. Some of the president's more notable malaprops and mangled statements:
___
• "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." — September 2000, explaining his energy policies at an event in Michigan.
• "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" — January 2000, during a campaign event in South Carolina.
• "They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the commander in chief, too." — Sept. 26, 2001, in Langley, Va. Bush was referring to the terrorists who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks.
• "There's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail." — Oct. 4, 2001, in Washington. Bush was remarking on a back-to-work plan after the terrorist attacks.
• "It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber." — April 10, 2002, at the White House, as Bush urged Senate passage of a broad ban on cloning.
• "I want to thank the dozens of welfare-to-work stories, the actual examples of people who made the firm and solemn commitment to work hard to embetter themselves." — April 18, 2002, at the White House.
• "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." — Sept. 17, 2002, in Nashville, Tenn.
• "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." — Aug. 5, 2004, at the signing ceremony for a defense spending bill.
• "Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." — Sept. 6, 2004, at a rally in Poplar Bluff, Mo.
• "Our most abundant energy source is coal. We have enough coal to last for 250 years, yet coal also prevents an environmental challenge." — April 20, 2005, in Washington.
• "We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job." — Sept. 20, 2005, in Gulfport, Miss.
• "I can't wait to join you in the joy of welcoming neighbors back into neighborhoods, and small businesses up and running, and cutting those ribbons that somebody is creating new jobs." — Sept. 5, 2005, when Bush met with residents of Poplarville, Miss., in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.
• "It was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship. After all, 60 years we were at war 60 years ago we were at war." — June 29, 2006, at the White House, where Bush met with Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.
• "Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die." — Dec. 7, 2006, in a joint appearance with British Prime Minister Tony Blair.
• "These are big achievements for this country, and the people of Bulgaria ought to be proud of the achievements that they have achieved." — June 11, 2007, in Sofia, Bulgaria.
• "Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction. Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit." — September 2007, in Sydney, Australia, where Bush was attending an APEC summit.
• "Thank you, Your Holiness. Awesome speech." April 16, 2008, at a ceremony welcoming Pope Benedict XVI to the White House.
• "The fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there's jobs at the machine-making place." — May 27, 2008, in Mesa, Ariz.
• "And they have no disregard for human life." — July 15, 2008, at the White House. Bush was referring to enemy fighters in Afghanistan.
• "I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office." — June 26, 2008, during a Rose Garden news briefing.
• "Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people." — July 4, 2008 in Virginia.
• "The people in Louisiana must know that all across our country there's a lot of prayer — prayer for those whose lives have been turned upside down. And I'm one of them. It's good to come down here." — Sept. 3, 2008, at an emergency operations center in Baton Rouge, La., after Hurricane Gustav hit the Gulf Coast.
• "This thaw — took a while to thaw, it's going to take a while to unthaw." Oct. 20, 2008, in Alexandria, La., as he discussed the economy and frozen credit markets.

SON OF A BITCH..

I hope they give them all life with no parole....sonofabitch.~~~
RICHMOND, Calif. – Two men and two teens have been arrested on suspicion of gang-raping a woman last month in the San Francisco Bay area while allegedly taunting her for being a lesbian, police said Thursday.
Officers arrested Humberto Hernandez Salvador at his Richmond home Wednesday night, Richmond police Lt. Mark Gagan said. The 31-year-old is being held without bail on gang rape, kidnapping and carjacking charges.
Police on Wednesday also arrested a 15-year-old Richmond boy and a 16-year-old Hercules boy, who were being held at a juvenile detention center on similar charges. Their names were not released.
Josue Gonzalez, 21, turned himself in Thursday after police announced they were searching for him. He was wanted on charges of gang rape, kidnapping and carjacking.
Gagan said Gonzalez asked for an attorney when he turned himself in but said nothing about his alleged role in the attack.
"We feel that while these four suspects were at large, a large cross-section of our population felt unsafe," Gagan said. "Now that the fourth one is behind bars, we can all breathe a sigh of relief."
Police would not detail each person's alleged involvement. Tips from local residents led to the arrests.
Detectives say the 28-year-old victim was attacked on Dec. 13 after she got out of her car, which bore a rainbow gay pride sticker. The alleged attackers made comments indicating they knew she was a lesbian, police said.
Authorities have characterized the case as a hate crime. Police said the victim lives openly with a female partner.
The 45-minute attack started when one of the men approached the woman in the street, struck her with a blunt object, ordered her to disrobe and sexually assaulted her with the help of the others, according to detectives.
When the group saw another person approaching, they forced the victim back into her car and took her to a burned-out apartment building. She was raped again inside and outside the vehicle and left naked outside the building while the alleged assailants took her wallet and drove off in her car, police said.

STUMBLE INTO THE NEW YEAR

I'm so tired I'm left handed...Because of the holidays our Friday shipment came in last Monday. Which means that normally they do most of the stocking over the weekend..By it coming in on Monday..guess who has been busted ass all week long to get it put up? Sharon the acting manager is in awe..She said I've never seen anyone work like you..Me fucking either. Inky has decided that the 10 days of 12 hour days means he doesn't have to do jackshit anymore, and spends most of the day at the register making small talk with the 19 year old 'Bam Bam'...she calls herself Pebbles but every time I see her I think Bam Bam..(as in that's what she does a lot of ...bam bam, thank you ma'am)..I come in at 9am and I do not stop working till 1:20...That's me stocking 3 u-boats full of merchandise or 9 basket full of stuff and running the fucking register. Even the customers are mentioning it..."Why are you running all the time?"...."Do you work like this all the time?".....No fuckers and it's killing me...I go home, eat lunch, get in my sleep clothes, get my throw and crawl up in the recliner and sleep for 2 hours, fix dinner, read a little and bam down for bed..barely can drag my ass to the shower so I can Tabu my ass. I tard'...
I'm to old for this shit. If Inky doesn't start pulling his weight I'm telling Anessa he's flirting with the 19 year old..she'll jerk his dick off. Oh Oh...and the kicker..today I'm putting up stuff on the far side of the store which I'm not supposed to as I'm supposed to be able to see the register..anyhow...I'm putting up tooth brushes and I look and there are three containers that the tooth brushes are stuck into....there are about 9 toothbrushes...the rest of them are tossed behind the containers..there was full hand basket full of fucking tooth brushes...what the fuck?...So they don't feel like stocking the tooth brushes so they toss them behind the display?....Holy shit..Soon as Bam Bam came in we had a come to Jesus meeting..I handed the basket full of brushes to her and said 'guess who gets to put these where they actually belong?'...Sharon is a hard worker but she's too lax...she won't press any of them to do their job..Even though I am the lowest in ranking as I'm part time..they're all scared to death of me..so I wrote a list of things they needed to do before I came to work tomorrow. I bet it gets done too..If not...they'll see why they are afraid of me...I'll bip them all the way to the court house. This will have to hold you for a while..I'm pooped...No body checked in on the Goddess answers, so I think she's going to retire to Valhalla and leave the blog to me...nighty night folks..bedtime for the old lady...

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR

How can I tell you how much you all mean to me with out becoming gushy...?...I can't...I love each and everyone of you like your were my own..even if you're close to my age..You entered my heart and grabbed a holt of it, so now you are mine..You have told me about your family and I have told you about mine..I have opened up my heart and told you all my secrets(well except for that dream I keep having about Paul Newman) and you didn't let it scare you away..you came back for more. I have told you about every part of my life year by year and did it to music..and yet, here you still are nearly 3 years later...I'm so grateful...don't know what I'd do without you. I am constantly pissing my family off and they in turn quit speaking to me...but if I've pissed you guys off...you still stayed..and came back for more..so on the cusp of a brand new year I'd like to send you a big ole West, Texas hug...full frontal and with lots of squeezing...each and every one of you make up.....my heart...and in the immortal words of Billy Pilgrim...I fucking love you sonsabitches.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABS

today is my adopted daughter Babs birthday....go by and wish her a happy happy...be careful she's pretty pissy..she's still trying to quit smoking....

http://howtogoinsane.blogspot.com/

THE ANSWERS

Some very very varied questions..mostly about things you could ask your neighbor. You humans...I'm here to offer you my expertise and you ask me about the weather..Sweet blue haired cats of Valhalla.............sigh*
Utah Savage wants to know if she dies will her book sell. Goddess thinks you have enough talent that you shouldn't have to resort to an early death. Besides think of all the fun you'd miss out on the book tour and your appearances on all the morning talk shows. The Goddess likes the Savage..she makes fart jokes, and fart jokes are good in the eyes of the Goddess.
Paul(sooner) sent a e-mail and said all he wanted for Christmas was a piece of ass and a pair of socks and neither fit. Wanted to know if this was a sign he had a pecker like a cheeto. Of course not pencil dick, of course not. In another e-mail he said he had a pecker the size of a baby's arm. The Goddess thinks if this was true he'd be getting a lot more ass than he does.
Willym is concerned that the Yellow Dog is back drinking because of the Tabu farts. This is just a ritual that she does when she has Tabu Powder...it goes all over her ass and then when she farts?...little Tabu farts..It entertains the cat. Then Willym asks Do people really believe it when a little man with beady eyes who prances around in a long white, lace and brocaded dress; lives with a whole bunch of other men, who wear black, red and purple dresses, in a really overdecorated version of OZ (the city not the prison)guarded by hunky young men in puffy yellow and blue stripped pants, black knee stockings and silver buckled shoes talks about rain-forests and homosexuality?..There is no accounting for religious beliefs. If you had your choice..would you rather believe in a Goddess, who believes that you are truly created equal. That to be a good pagan all you have to do is lead a good life and set a good example for your children? If you do you will go to Valhalla. Or believe in ....well, the Christians version of God and Heaven. The choice is as always...up to each individual.
I'm U. sent an e-mail asking what is in store for 2009...I think this planet will be here for many many eons to come..I'm not so sure about it's inhabitants.
Anne J. wants to know who stole the cookies from the cookie jar....well, the fairies of course.
Ted is under the impression that the Goddess and your God have a relationship...far from it..God hasn't come out of his room since Jesus have him a Wii for his birthday 3 years ago. But Jesus and the Goddess do split a keg of mead once in awhile.
Green tea has weather questions..will it stop raining, will the sun shine again?...What? I'm the weatherman?...Watch the 10 pm news tonight..you'll get your local weather results.
Tsduff wants to know if she'll get a dog again. The Goddess hopes so. Pets bring so much into a persons life. Plus there are so many animals out there that need loving homes. Adopt a pet, the sooner the better..She's also asking weather questions..
Thor's back teeth...read a paper, watch the news, google local weather...don't bother the Goddess with weather questions, or I'll start getting involved and send down storms, the likes you've never seen before.
Rainwolf....more weather....Blessed Valhalla...buy an umbrella or stay at home.
Lily says hello to Eartha Kitt...Eartha Mae is putting on her cabaret act for all the gay warriors in Valhalla and too busy to reply.
Buddha girl is having problems with getting Robert to sleep in his bed. Goddess says......you're the adult..he's a 4 year old. Make some rules and laws and enforce them. Instead of giving him something to entice him to do your wishes...try taking something away when he doesn't.
She also expects me to properly punish the Yellow Dog for sending Robert a microphone with a speaker. Are you kidding? I helped pick it out...wait till you see the guitar she's sending.
Nitwit wants to know why he should believe in me instead of the invisible man on a cross or some guy promising 72 virgins? It's all about what fits your soul...Whom ever you believe in will be there for you. Some of us Deities are more forgiving than others and ask little in return. The Goddess wants you to be a good person, be kind to others, and lead a good life. She doesn't expect you to go to buy a new suit, go to a enclosed building and pray through an intermediary for salvation. The great outdoors is the Church of the Goddess.The choice is yours as it has always been.
Rosemary wants to know why licorice is bad for her when it tastes so good. Develop a taste for something that is good for you...like celery and spinach dip. What is this? Third grade...? of course winter is necessary. and so are wrinkles...How else is anyone to know how well you have lived your life.? the Goddess never wants to keep anyone as an underling....she wants strong and willful subjects. Cougar material? Why have a boy when men are so much more entertaining..
Nitwit:in reply to your answer "huh?"....my reply?..."Exactly."
Woozie, the Goddess doesn't care about sports, but I have spent the past 2 days trying to convince the Yellow Dog it's not a good idea for me to smite the entire team of the Dallas Cowboys ....At one point I had to hide the keys to her truck so she wouldn't drive to Valley Ranch and 'kick all their asses.'....
She's miserable.
Jan wants to know what would embarrass the Yellow Dog. She said getting caught in a lie. Which is why she doesn't lie anymore about anything..So what ever you do...don't ask her if those pants make your ass look big.
I think the Yellow Dog has plans to take up sewing now that the football season is over for her.
Utah Savage ....you are so correct. The Goddess expects questions deserving of her special knowledge..not Oprah questions.
Joy wants to know if raising goats is a good thing...???? And are they spawned by Satan. First of all ..goats are good..they are especially good with rosemary and garlic. Second of all..there is no Satan...There is, I repeat.....NO SATAN.
Evilgnome...Baby strollers?...You have a chance to ask the Goddess any question in the world and you ask about rude mothers and their baby strollers?....Ball up man.....tell them to leave those things in the SUV where they belong and use a grocery cart like everyone else..Odin's left nut, really.
Christi wants to know if watching MMA make her into naked men and violence.. Nothing wrong with naked men fighting with the Goddess...it happens in Valhalla all the time.
So...the question/answer time is over..and as before you have left me wondering what you were thinking..????
I'm going to go to a neighboring planet in another galaxy and see what kind of questions they have for me..Go in peace my children..Blessings on you.

fuck

WAITING FOR MY CHRISTMAS

I'll have a very Merry Christmas if the motherfucking Cowboys beat them motherfucking Eagles. nuff said.
Babs and I spent Christmas together...I called her up and said come over and I'll make you scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast. Then we opened our presents. I got her 2 new sleeping pillows and a throw for when she naps on the couch, a mini-chopper, and some other stuff...Her birthday is the 31st and got her one of those fake little fish tank/nightlights, which is cute as I got one for me too. Also got her a kitty cat cookie jar full of oatmeal/raisin cookies. She got me this beautiful goddess necklace on a cord, which I absolutely love..it's so pretty...and she got me a Tabu set of perfume, powder and lotion, and other stuff. My sister-in-law(X) from first husband, who we have reconnected after 40-plus years send me 2 bottles of Tabu perfume..How she remembered that it was my favorite perfume after all these years, is beyond me. Vicki(Junebugg) sent me a pair of cashmere socks...which makes my feet grin from toe to toe. I got lots of candy, which I don't need and candles which I never have too many of.I have been baking cookies and pies for the manager of the Dollar General since last Christmas, I made her a pecan pie and some chocolate cookies and she got me a Rachael Rae Cookbook and some candy. When I thanked her she said she wanted to get me something because I had touched her heart by doing all the baking for her. Now how sweet was that?..

Babs and I decided instead of having a big turkey dinner, we'd have 'nothing homemade' Christmas...We had ring bologna, rat cheese, crackers, smoked oysters, Vienna sausages with jalapenos, ham, jack cheese, nuts, cold asparagus, etc. just junk...Plus we rented 4 movies..we saw Wanted which was...ok, but not as good as I thought it was supposed to be, The Dark Knight, which was an hour and a half too long and I nearly drove Babs nuts with the sound. The sound editor of that movie needs to have his ass kicked..When it was dialog you couldn't hear them, so I'd crank it up to hear them and then the action would come on and it's so loud the windows were rattling. But Heath Ledger was pretty awesome, and I think he was pretty cranked up ...all that lip licking kind of made me nervous. We checked out Hancock, but didn't watch it..We watched Mama Mia and I don't want to piss anyone off, but next to Forest Gump that was the dumbest movie I ever saw and I hope to never have to sit through anything so mind numbing boring again in my entire life..fuckme, I'll never sing another ABBA song as long as I live.
Tom is gone from the store and I have a new 'part time' store manager..Sharon, who is...very sweet and a hard worker and I enjoy working with her, but she is only going to be here for another week and then I don't know who we'll get. I just do my job and let them sweat all that shit. I had big plans for cleaning house this weekend, and all I did was read..Finished 3 books and took the most of the tensile off the tree and that's about it. Will do some laundry today, but I'm not straining myself. I still haven't put the sewing machine together..no one told me the fuckers were so confusing...It actually comes with a instructional disc to set it up...feck..wonder if anyone has an old fashioned sewing machine they'd like to trade for this new spangled one..???
I went to both $ stores and took advantage of all the after Christmas sales. Bought a bunch of decorations for next year. In case anyone is interested all the Family Dollar stores have all the toys that are $9.99 and over on sale for 40% off. Christmas decorations are 50% off.
There was one bit of interesting news in my DAM paper. Out of New Orleans. A same-sex couple in California has won a federal court ruling that their adopted son's Louisiana birth certificate must bear the names of both adoptive fathers. The facts are so clear that no trial is needed, U.S. District Judge Jay Zainey wrote. Louisiana's Office of Vital Records must give full faith and credit to the New York State court in which Oren Adar and Mickey Ray Smith of San Diego adopted the boy, h ruled Monday. Hey Kevin, wonder if you can go to court and have both your names put on the kids birth certificates too?..
Maybe this will open some doors for you and Ron? That would be terrific.
Well, I have to go do some laundry and roast the turkey and get all ready for the Cowboys game tonight...Cross your fingers for me..'cept for Anne, who is a Eagles fan, so I know she will be sticking pins in a voodoo doll dressed like a Cowboy.
Hope everyone had happy holidays and a wonderful new year.

ASK THE GODDESS

I'm bacccccck!...I had to make a short trip to pick up Eartha Mae, she's as much of a warrior as any Marine I know. Everyone was putting on their best duds to greet her, and George Carlin even put on clean underwear. I thought while I was here I'd stop by and see what the Yellow Dog got for the Christian Holiday, Christmas. She's doing a naked dance in the living room. She got 4 bottles of Tabu perfume and every time she farts there are little puffs of Tabu powder shooting across the room. Something about Tabuing her naked ass. I'm sure you all must know what she's talking about.

I'm here to answer all your questions...again, please no political questions or anything about sports. That's the Yellow Dogs speciality...I don't care about politics or sports. So remember that. I'll be back as soon as I carry Eartha Mae home. Be back Monday. My blessings on you..........

CAUSE THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO

Q: What is christianity?
A: It is the belief that a two-
thousand-year-old jewish zombie
can make you live forever if
you symbolically eat his flesh
and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master,
so he can remove an evil force
from your soul that is present
in humanity because a rib-woman
was convinced by a talking snake
to eat an apple off a magical
tree in a wonderland.

EARTH KITT

Without a doubt the sexiest woman ever...I saw her on the Ed Sullivan Show when I was a kid, and she did Santa Baby and I thought my Daddy was going to climb through the TV set and my mother was just mesmerized ....She was just the best. If you never got to see her perform, you don't know what you missed.
http://www.youtube.com/whttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RlzYaDRxX4atch?v=tQ5VaBgXzuM