I was sitting here staring at the computer trying to figure out why I am in such a pissy mood...cause believe it or not..Im a happy good natured fat lady...and usually take things in stride, even the assholes out in Crawford...but I am in a pissy mood..and why I ask myself...why am I in a pissy mood...and then fuck, I remembered...the cowboys lost saturday night...it was just like last season...except different players...different qb...but still an old fart for a qb...I was so pissed saturday that it went all the way into sunday and here it is monday and Im still pissed..fuck me I'll never smile again..them cowboys had 12.......fucking pentalties....kiss my ass..the offense sucked...good thing they werent playing indoors cause they would have sucked all the air out of the stadium...romo actually looked like he might be able to play qb...but not sure about that..just waiting for the redshirted freshman at texas tech...henson...i think is his name...hopefully we can keep it together till he graduates and we can draft him...you hear that jerry asshole jones???
what really pisses me off is I had such good expetations...I even went to the store and bought a 12 pack of old mill na beer... and no tomato juice..was going to sit back and drink my pussy beer and enjoy the cowboys..what a waste of $6...could have bought a 6-pk of dublin dr.pepper and been better off...fuck..piss...shit...football...it kills me every year...but as pissed as I get...I still love them sonsabitches...they may be some no playing football players, but their my no playing football players...going to go home and make obscene phone calls to the West Rest Home...make some old farts day....
ther will be no discrimanation against anyone for any reason what so fucking ever..women will get the same pay as men ...if they both have worked the same amt of time at the job the pay should be the same..no one should get less pay just because they werent born with a dick..marrying one should be enough..
we will steal the insurance plan of the canadians...free insurance for anyone who cannot afford it..people in prison will not get free dental work, free operations..they will earn money from working on the chain gang...and can pay for their dental work from that fund..everytime i read about some guy doing time for rape or murder or assault what ever and he is in prison where if he gets a cavity he gets free dental..well, fuck that shit..he works on the chain gang or he gets a fucking tooth ache like the rest of poor americans..
we will have free perscriptions.. there will be no private rooms in hospitals..there will be wards...were everyone gets the same treatment... and if anyone gets plastic surgery they have to pay for the surgery for any child that needs facial construction..
and every person that voted for bush gets to have their asses wacked by a two by four and that is just for starters...think everyone that voted for bush should be made to join the army and serve in iraq, afghanastan,iran, and any other place that might get their asses shot at....see how much they like the war then....
man, im really on a tear today...reading the paper and listening to the news just makes me nuts some days..and then to top it off, some yokle out in crawford to insure that the rest of the country knows that we are inbred, ignorant assholes, takes a pot shot up in the air to show he can..."cause by god, this is texas and we all have guns and can shoot them any time we want to."..jackass...fuck this im going to go look for sooner..cant trust them fucking rangers to find their asses with both hands...i'll find him and bring his monkey fucking ass back to denise so so she can get her child support...and while im at it i think i will take a detour out to crawford and see what kind of stink i can stir up....
"i pledge allegiance to the flag of the corporate states of america. and to the republicans for which it stands, one nation under debt, easily divisible, with liberty and justice for oil."another of my favorite comics.
one kid to the other kid...."bush got recored admitting that he smoked weed....." other kid:"maybe he smoked it to take the edge off the coke."...i love this comic....
According to the u.s. surgeon general, this is what happens after your last cigarette:
20 minutes: your blood pressure drops
8 hours: the carbon monoxide level in your blood drops back to normal.
24 hours: your chance of a heart attack decreases.
2 weeks to 3months: your circulation improves and lung fuction increases.
1- 9 months: your coughing, sinus congestion, fatigue and shorness of breath decrease.
1 year: your added risk of heart disease is half that of a smoker.
5-15 years: your stroke risk is reduced to that of a nonsmoker.
10 years: your lung cancer death rate is about half that of a smoker
15 years: your risk of heart disease is back to that of a non-smoker...
stop now...please...
well, the texas rangers just checked in with me..they are out looking for sooner..they went to the naked dancers club in waco posing as baptist to look for him..the irs guy is still there. He is drunk and going up to the dancers telling them he will audit them unless they give up sooner...the rangers seem to think he is hiding out in mexico with a bunch of oral roberts college rejects...said he was in a cantina wearing nothing but a jock strap and a dead monkey hat...im heading out in my truck to see if i can find and bring him home before he gets into real trouble..see you monday..
FREE ICECREAM...AND DOUBLE SCOOPS FOR ALL DOGGIES....DOUBLE SCOOPS WITH BEEF JERKY ON TOP...
i am trying to start each bog out now with a one of a kind headline...some i will make up and some i will steal...
i have been reading all of your posts and you know what? i like you guys..i really do...some more than others but hey cant have everthing...but basically all the ones that i read i get the feeling that if we hung out we would be buds...some i know that it is better to keep a computer between us...i dont mean that we would be "best" buds like blood brother friends like in the eighth grade, but real buds...go to movie with each other, go out to dinner, talk on the phone, and not have to lie when we didnt want to do any of the above..just say, nah, i dont feel up to it, or im not in the mood...i have to admit that other than my kinfolk michael and old buddy danny my 4 favorites are sooner, babs, blood dreamz and ruby rocks... not in any order...well, maybe sooner..
sooner im going to adopt...since neither one of us could keep a straight face to have sex..ha...besides i would like to be hannabanna''s auntgrandma..
library is closed tomorrow and hard to get here on a sat and with david's computer off it will not be til monday til you hear from me again...i will miss you all..have a great weekend...see ya'll monday...jac
Iam changing the name of president to Goddess In Training, american branch...the second thing I will do is fire all the supreme court judges...and make it impossible for the next president to be able to choose any...no person has the right to choose someone for a job that will last for a life time when his job only lasts maybe 4 years...too much power for one person for such a short time..so all the new supreme court judges will be hired, based on a series of test given by a panel of hand picked teachers of american history..they will have to have been a judge at one point in their lives and have to know the laws of the land..and will not be able to depend on those little law clerks that have their own agenda..for a start..then I am changing the laws about guests from another country..each person coming to this country must have valid ID and will be checked out by a special group that will check all back ground on each person entering the usa..then if they pass the back ground check which will be very thorough...each visitor has to pay an entry fee of $500. when they leave all but $100 will be returned...that money will go into a school tax..for all low income schools..
we will have free medical for low income family's.
and now to my favorite new law..people that play professional sports will have a cap on the amt of money they can make...the longer they play the more they make...bonus''s payed by the owners can not go more than $1,000,000. and for each bonus paid an equal amt will be paid into a trust fund for the player.they can get bonus for special plays, most td's etc. but for what they earn they get same amt in a trust fund..
movie stars will no longer be able to earn $40 million a movie...the movie will be made and depending on what it makes at the box office is what everyone on the movie will get paid...and a percentage of money will go into a special fund for the homeless...
and speaking of the homeless..I will bring back the chain gang system in the prisons...they will build homes for the homeless. There will be no jail sentences for small drug arrests..like possession of any drug for the first offense...there will be rehab and schools to teach them new skills so they can get a job and not sell drugs for an income..possession of marijuana will depend on the person..if they dont have a high school diploma then their punishment is to go back to school and get it...if they have diploma then their punishment is to go to school and take some sort of college class. determinded by their ability...maybe if they are smart but made wrong choices they can go back to school to be a teacher...oh, teachers..teachers, cops, firemen will get paid $1,000,000 a year. cops and firemen will have the best insurance and retirement fund known to man kind...and there will be better training for the police..they will have to have lots of sensetivity classes and be able to speak 2 languages.. ok, that's just for a start....but I will have lots more on the politicians that are in office right now...im firing them suns a bitches...and they will get a pay cut...big time...and some may just go to jail...and that list is really long....well, what do you think so far?
Thank you blooddreamz...I will gladly be the President...I will go home and ponder, muse and come up with some rules of the nation that will make this a better place..Of course when its as fucked up as it is right now..shouldn't take much...so I will go forth and come back tomorrow with a working plan...My first plan is to make them red states pay out the ass....
In case anyone is around when I croak, please, no viewing, no service, no coffin..chuck my ass in the burner and keep my ashes in a kfc bucket till its spring time, find a patch of blue bonnets away from regular traffic and toss me out the window as you drive by...dont even stop...went to the funeral home and yup, he''s dead..why in the world do people have an open coffin so they can take a gander at the dead? who thought of that fucking idea..."hey, when they die, lets stick them in a box, keep the lid up and let every one walk by and make sure he is still dead.."poor Patsy she looked like she was doped up to the gills. I told her that if she wanted to go get drunk to call me that i would be her driver..she could get drunk, cry, cuss or do what ever made her happy and I would kick anyone''s ass that she wanted me too. also would commit any crime for her that would get me up to 7 years time but anything over that she was on her own...she cracked up laughing and said"thank God for you, eveyone else has been treating me like im going to break and I didnt know how much I needed to laugh til you got here."..so my good deed done I kissed everyone and hauled ass back to watch the monday night game...but so stressed out by all these deaths I fell asleep before the game was over..still dont know who won...
I did run into some people I haven't seen in years...one couple used to own the bar I used to hang out in.."strickly country"..yup that's the real name of it..I told them I had seen their daughter and we didnt recognize each other and the mother said she should have remembered you, when she was seperated from her husband you took her out and got her drunk...and told her you would help her find a new one..now I wonder why I dont remember that...told them I hadn't drank in over 12 years and thought there was going to be another funeral for them...they were stunned...you have to remember this is the guy who every time he bought a new pair of cowboy boots he would thank me for them...as it was my money i spent in the bar that helped buy them...asshole..
well, it finally quit raining..place looks like a swamp...my yard especially...but was nice while it lasted..now its back up in the 90's...
oh, does anyone know anything about computers? the one I use at david's wont hook up to the internet..little button at the bottom says something is unconnected from the firewall..we checked all the lines, but so far nada...help?????
The owner of the chevy dealership here in west is building a hotel...supposed to open feb.1st 2006...70 rooms, 2 meeting rooms, a workshop facility, an outdoor swimming pool, a gift shop, dry sauna and a facility available with computers and internet connections for guest use...hot damn....pretty cool...and of course it is going to be called the Czech inn...and a sonic is supposed to be coming too...we are getting so big time...
West Rodeo is a week away..and still are taking applications for mutton busters...
Deiterman-Berger's are having a family reunion...1990 grads are having a high school reunion...one engagement, 3 births, 6 deaths..one of them a friend of mine..and to top off that peice of news. Patsy, that does the bookkeeping at the community grocery, husband died..david ...I have known him for almost 30 years and Patsy for about 25...he has been ill for some time with liver cancer and finally just gave out...the viewing is tonight and that is wher I should be, but to be honest, I am stalling for time...just hate these damn things...
Local cub scouts earn religious awards...now this I dont understand...do they get these for doing "christian acts".?? or being a christian cub scout..? which is what...man, crap like this makes me want to bang my head again..
West ATDS wn the freshman girls state championship...why are they called freshmen girls...shouldnt it be freshpeople girls??? hmmm
well, im all a twitter..asleep at the wheel is going ot be playing friday night of west fest weekend...i love asleep at the wheel..plus brave combo is going to play again too. they have played every year since we have had west fest...if you dont know about brave combo, you havent lived..they win polka grammy's every year...and until you have heard them play smoke on the water..you havent lived...only they could do a polka version of jimmy hindrix... years ago west fest was only sat and sunday and friday night was street dance night..everyone would get a cooler full of beer, soda etc and wander down to the middle of town right in front of the bank by the rr tracks...then the little stores decided to stay open and we could wonder all over town meeting and greeting, dancing to the street bands, drinking beer and having a great time...the city finally figured out there was a lot of money being made and they should have some of it so they made it illegal to have the street party..said they were worried about someone getting ran over by a train...assholes, just ruined it for all of us...so now west fest is friday, saturday and sunday... I usually just stock up on groceries and hide out or go to family reunion...as the population of west goes from 1,900 to any where from 30,000 to 45,000... and town is bumper to bumper with drunk czech's...well, I have stalled long enough...need to go make an appearance at the viewing....by from west by god texas
yes, it has started..only preseason but its here...have started my football book for the year. every since '87 I have kept a football book. it contains the weeks games with point spread where i pick and bet sometimes with a "friend" or sometimes with another type friend and I have done pretty good over the years... the book contains wins, loses, points for, points agains, percentages, at home away from home for both teams playing..on grass, weather conditions, etc...plus as the year goes on I will copy down things that I might have found interesting. lines from books, movies, head lines. predictions for super bowl...random poems, etc. I don''t know what anyone will do with them when I croak. make a good fire I guess..there are wine stains on the pages, beer stains, scribbles from the granddaughters, notes I wrote to myself about game, players, etc...weird, have been doing it for so long..kind of a football blog...
"freedom, democracy and human rights"....
these are some of the words that Chinese internet users aren''t allowed to use...and you know what is worse????? microsoft has agreed to help the chinese government censor its people by blocking such words from their internet searches..yahoo and google are doing the same sort of things...
"integrity"...is a word that microsoft, yahoo and google are apparently unacquainted with...."..from mallard fillmore by bruce tinsley....
these people would fuck a snake if it brought in new money...
"Rather smoke, and listen to coltrane, than go through all that shit again."
truer words never spoken..
or another favorite....
"The first time the devil made me do it/ the second time I done it on my own."...billy joe shaver...
"Rather smoke, and listen to coltrane, than go through all that shit again."
truer words never spoken..
or another favorite....
"The first time the devil made me do it/ the second time I done it on my own."...billy joe shaver...
I think my name is on an alert list and if I get to close they are understrict orders to throw my ass under the jail...but if the rain ever stops and she is still out at the "ranch"...in the next day or two, I might drive my pickemup truck out there and see if I can stir up a little trouble..I have a friend who has said he will make me up some signs. Im thinking "fuck you, you forest gump asshole"...just wonder how much I can get away with before they arrest or shoot me...
havent been on since sat. and have so much to go on and on about...
the first is a poll I found in the dallas am paper..about forest being arogant and dishonest..
50% of people who say he is not honest. 48% who say he is...yeah, right..down from 53% in Jan
Mr. Bush''s overal job approval is 42% and 55 % disapproving...
56% is the number who viw the presiden's condifence ias arrogance, up from 49% in Jan.38% approval ranting on handing Iraq...so at least we can see the tide is turning...but what really really makes me want to butt my head on the wall, is the death of all those soldiers from Ohio. these parents are the same ones that voted for him because they were afraid that if they voted for Kerry he would allow gays to marry...Well, now your sons are dead because you went with Bush...What I am thinking is just to ugly and mean to say...but there is the possiblility that maybe there sons would have been safe at home if they had been less worried about gay marriages and more conserned about the illegal war in Iraq..we have lost almost 2,000 men and women in a war that was started on a lie and led by a man who's ego has no bounds...
just finished his new book and man oh man...was it ever good..when i get a really good book i usually do one of two things..i either read it straight through with only peepee breaks or i will read a chapter and then put it down and then read another chapter. some books i cant put down and then others i dont want to finish it cause its so good you dont want it to end...one is not better than the other, just each type book brings it out into me...this one of james lee''s was a didnt want to put down cause i didnt want it to end...mainly cause this is the first dave and clete book in a while and i missed them so much..espeically clete as i have the hots for him...eveyone needs a friend like clete...
so im letting everyone that reads me..if you are a book lover...and love to read like i do...you have to read the latest james lee burke book...actually read any of his books...he does good writting.I can still smell the salt in the air and the hear the flight of the two brown pelicans...you go james...
was up late last night, actually early this moring when I got an email from the goddess. she just wanted to reasssure me that things would work out..that she knows that I have been a little upset with the goings on of the world and all the misdeeds of one of her children...and we are all children of the goddess...so she wanted to let me know that in just a short time she was going to make sure that one of her children who has gone astray and his sins have cost the lives of many many of her other children is going to be aptly punished...she said that something would happen and once it happened everyone would know that it was the direct result of the wrath of the goddess and would teach the followers of the bad child not to mess with the goddess...
I for one am hoping it will be one of those straw bolts of lightning that are flashing around the texas country side...but we shall see....
I have been listening to the religious right and they might have a point...so from here on out when I speak shit about forest gump,the republicans,eagles and their fans, and anything else I happen to speak shit about....well, the devil made me do it...not my fault...can't hold me responsible...I was unduely influenced by the devils way.I was tempted, lured and actucally once I was drugged by the devil and made to say mean and cruel things about my daughterinlaw.
So...Iam going to run down to the local christian church, run up to the pulpit, throw myself down on the floor, confess my sins, ask for the help of Jesus and be born again...amen..hallelujah,hate the sin and not the sinner, turn the other cheek, and rid my body of all my past sins...for I am born again........
well, Im waiting......still waiting...hm.....well, fuck..didnt take..im still the mean ole ass pagan I have always been...
and ain't it a wonderful thing...smells sooo good. felt good too. left the window on the truck down and was going to run out and roll it up, but felt so good, I walked slowly to the truck...
Im at the library where I have been book readers jackpot..new J. A. Jance book. (not spanking new, but new to me)Improbable Cause...about J.P. Beaumont...like him and Sherriff Brady in the other series she does..then I got the new James Patterson Lifeguard...and the best of allllllll. the new James Lee Burke book Crusader's Cross. a new Dave Robicheaux novel...im so happy I could sing...but since I sound like a gravely version of gabby hayes, I will refrain.
and while I was checking them out Henrietta says to me"I can't belive you were so nice to the post master the other day."....(doh...????) and said, "why wouldn't I?" she said, "well, I knew you were upset cause they were talking about moving your mailbox.". "yes, but it wasen't his fault, he is just doing his job, it is the new neighbor that has cause to worry about the state of her ass"...she got that pinched little purse around her mouth that she gets when I step out of line in the library..."OH", she said...there are few things in life that give me more joy than making her do that little thing with her mouth...which is why every chance I get I mention the goddess, my hatred of forest gump, and that the pope is a nazi..that one really gets to her...heehee..life is good..
what really makes life good...is foot ball season is coming up...I can smell lether and hear the sound of bodies smacking against each other all the way from oxnard, calif.which incidentally is my favorite city in calif...well, not the city but the name..I just love to say oxnard...when I lived in Calif. I would make up sentences with the city oxnard in it...like there is a great mall in oxnard...its on the corner of yadda yadda and oxnard blvd. I know it is weird..but it made me happy...oh, go to hell, and while your at it...go to oxnard...life is good.
You will notice the difference in my blogs once football season is here...I will be consumed with all things Cowboys...and no I don't want to root for teams like the Seahawks, who have never won a Super Bowl..and get it straight right now...I have no use whatsoever for the eagles or the city from which they sprung or the state where it resides..they are scum and should die...I don''t feel this way about other teams, I love the Raiders, the Texans, Cleveland, and because of my love for my friend Mary, the Bronco''s..I don''t like the redskins, Miami, or San FRancisoco. they suck...its a division thing...But I love my Cowboys...I loved them win they were winners, I loved them when they were losers..I loved them with good coaches and stupid ones..(yes, sooner you know which one I speak of)I loved them when they were fucking 'ho's and doing drugs...I didn''t love the ones fucking up, but I loved the team..I miss Landry, Bill Bates and Nate Newton before he became stupid and decided to sell drugs as a way to pay his child support...stupid asshole...named my pitbull after him...nate..now he''s in a prison in ark...stupid asshole...anyhow, I love my boys...thru thick and thin and all the inbetween, they are my team...not one of those good time fans...Im a all the time fan...I will cuss them, beat my head on the wall and cry like a baby when they lose...but they are still my boys...I am thinking about having "wait til next year" tattooed on my ass...hopefully this will be the year...parcels...don't fail me now....
I love it...all these kids come in for community service..and I get to play boss and crack the whip..they are dusting and cleaning all the glass again...henrietta makes them clean the toilets and I just cant tell someone to go clean the crapper...every time I click on to soooner's blog the musci starts playing and freaks everyone in library out, including me...
"There was much or the beautiful, much of the wanton, much of he bizarre, something of the terrible, and not a little of that which mihgt have excited disqust."..edgar allen poe.
I liked that, from the masque of the red death...
a gallup poll shows that president forest gump's approval rating is down from 49percent to 44percent...should be just 44 people...not percent
crap..there is no one here but me...only have an hour to go..
rocky came back and is pickier about his food now more than ever...if he only eats half a cat of something and i put it in refer and then try and give it to him again, he wont eat it...wont eat anything cold...little fucker...he wants either tuna fish or salmon..got him a can of makerel and wouldnt eat it..fussy little fucker..but he is spending more time at home, so the females must all be pregnant..he hasent been in a fight in a couple of weeks...I need to get him fixed, but want someone in the house to get some..
took grandaughter to her dentist in hewitt. which is about 35 minutes from west...and havent been out there in about 4 years or so and got lost. told jamie, im either having a old farts moment where i am mentally lost or we''re fucking lost...she said grandma. we're lost..i said why didnt you say anything? she said. we're going to the dentist grandma.im in no hurry..on the way back i stopped at dairy queen and got ice cream cone and she got banana split blizzard. then we came home and got fajitas from the tiger shop. which is a gas station with a little cafe in it...make good mexican food..but i make better..im still waiting for the neighbor to confront me about the mailbox. actually tomorrow is the day the garbage is picked up and waiting for her to go thru the yard...now ...where is my pit bull dog when i need him...going to go check out some books...so far i have averaged 28 books a month...not bad...
Another article in dallas morning news sunday...Denver is in a panic over pit bulls and now it is illegal to own a pit in the city limits and if you have one, they will come pick it up and put it down...they are taking dogs away from their familys no matter what the history of the dog is and killing them. only way you can save them is to either move outside of the city limits or move the dog outside of the city limits...Since may more than 389 dogs have been impounded and at least 260 destroyed..destroyed my redneck ass..they murdered those dogs...
dog owners are in a panic and are using an underground railroad of sorts, sending their pets to live elsewhere or hiding them from authorities. Denver, Miami, Cincinnati all have a ban on pit bulls.Judas fucking priest..these people make me nuts..to the side of the article is a side bar that says Pit bull facts..how dangerous are pit bulls???
Temperment:The American Temperament testing society evaluated 122 dog breeds and found that the American Staffordshire Terrier, a type of pit bull banned in Denver, passed its ealuations 83.3 percent of the time, just behind the golden retriever at 83.6 percent. Bite fatalities: The American Canine Foundation calculated rates of human dog-bite fatalities by breed, and it found that pit bulls bite at a lower rate than many other dogs. The Doberman pinscher was found to bite 10 times as often as a pit bull. Another study concluded that fatal attacks"represent a small proportion of dog bite injuries to humans, and therefore, should not be the primary factor driving public policy concerning dangerous dogs."
Most deaths" Pit bulls and Rottweilers have caused the most deaths, according to a study by the Centers for Disease Control Prevention, the American Veterinary Medical Ass. and the Humane Society of the United States;which examined 20 years of dog-bite data.Julie Gilchrist, a cdc doctor said many factors go into biting risk, including the health of the dog and how the animal was raised...
sooooooo stupid people..its not the dog, it is the fucking owner....I have had pits since 1971 and never had one of my dogs bite anyone...lick them til they weep maybe but never bit anyone..Nate weighted 110lbs and would try and sit in peoples laps and when my granddaughters would come over he would be is such a panic cause he didnt know which kid to watch. which door to lay in front of and which kid to lay by..so finally he hearded them into the corner of the living room and sat right in front of them and went to sleep.
Talking points...
"If Great Britain is such an unwelcoming, racist place to live, why do all races continue to flock here, as they do to evil, imperialist America?" julie burchill, in times of london.july 16th
No shit sherlock
"The gobal struggle against violent extremism." The Bush adminstration''s new name for the conflict previously known as "the global war on terror." new york times. july 26th
yeah, right...
"The Supreme Court is supposed to sit above politics and apart from polular whims.But when a large majority of the court's justices have never cross-examined a lying cop or a slippery ceo, never faced a jury, never slogged through the swamps of the modern discovery process, something has gone wrong." stuart taylor, jr. the atlantic monthly sept.issue
yupper
new website...
youblewmeupyoubastard.com
a web site to which people send photos of themselves as they'd like to be remembered in the news media if they are killed by a suicide bomber...
some people have way to much time on their hands.
There is a great article on che Guevara...in sunday dallas am news..
about how people idolize che and the truth is he was a savage killer and known to have killed over 500 people while he was in charge of La Cabana prison in cuba. He oversaw mass executions...so think about that the next time you buy a tshirt with his picture on it...Carlos Santana..
I am vain only about my feet. I have small pretty feet..no ugly toes, nice arch and they hold up my fat ass with few complaints.. but about a month ago I stubbed my left big toe and the nail kind of died on me..so it is trying to come off but looks like crap..and freaks me out..but I was watching tv and they said if you put a hole iin a whole lemon and stuck your toe in there it would make the nail soft enough that you could peel it right off. so I thought, what the fuck, I don't have a life, sitting around watching tv and reading with a lemon on my right big toe, is no biggie...so...I am sitting on the recliner reading my new murder mystery, listening to the tv as golf was on, drinking my sun tea with the lemon on my toe...my neighbor knocks on the door with her little 9 year old grandaughter and I yell, "come on in", and get up to greet them and the lemon flies off my toe and smacks the kid right in the forehead...both of them stand there in total shock as they have no idea why I have just tossed a lemon at the kid and whacked her in the head...Im laughing so hard that I can't explain to them how and why this happened..took me 5 minutes to calm down enough to explain what happened and I'm still not sure they ever believed me..im sure that Maryruth still think I accosted her grandaughter with citrus..and will adventually turn me over to the local police..lucky for me Im good friends with the Judge..
every time I think about it I start to laugh again...
