YELLOWDOG GRANNY

Tuesday, January 05, 2016

My Favorite New Year's Eve

Being a cocktail waitress and bartender meant that I worked all New Years eve and the next day...it was brutal..Drunks on NYE's usually don't go out except for that one night and they work hard at getting their money's worth ...I have visions of waiting on a table and feeling something wet on my ankle..some asshole who had flown in from some hick town in Oregon had crawled (he was too drunk to walk) across the floor and was licking my foot..why you might wonder? Because I sure as fuck wanted to know why...his response after I had jerked him up by his ears and screamed 'what the fuck were you thinking? in his face..'because you have the purtiest little ole ankles, and they are attached to the purtiest legs and I figured you wouldn't get near as mad at me for licking your feet if I had tried it on your inner thigh..'.
Good point asshole, saved his ass.

So one time it snowed like a bastard and there was no way that anyone was out on the streets and I lived across town from the Palm Gardens, so I ...tada..had the night off..I had a fifth of vodka in the freezer along with 6-8 frozen glasses..Kids were at the sitter and I was going to read and drink vodka ...then wham bam slam on the door..3 of my best buds had trudged thru the snow to my place and wanted me to go out into the snow with them to the nearest bar..which happened to be an all black joint..but it was the late 60's so it was called a 'negro joint.'..One of my friends beating on the door ..was a 'negro'..he worked at First National Bank..vice president of something..he assured me if we were with him we would be welcomed.. so off we goes..
We four ventured out into the snow and ice and cold..having already knocked off the fifth of ice cold vodka between us..we were pretty jolly when we arrived at the joint, and I use the word joint in the most loving way..Cause it was a really nice bar..bright and cheery and packed full of black faces..except for me and 2 of my dude friends. But we had enough vodka in us to quell any uneasiness we would normally would have had.. Beers all around says I....no place to sit..it's packed..so we sort of just stood around bullshitting and because I was a waitress/bartender I couldn't but help and notice that they were understaffed and could use some help. So I started bussing tables and taking orders..after about 20 minutes I wandered over to this table full of ladies...who were making no attempt to hide their disgust at my being there..I just smiled and cleaned their table and took their order..they were rude and if the races had been swapped they would have called me the N word...but I was not to be deterred..I just kept smiling and making jokes and finally the ice broke..I forget what asinine remark I made but it made them laugh in spite of themselves and I sat down and we had a blast..talking about music, how all men were assholes no matter what color they were and when the bartender yelled at me that he could use some help..the ladies yelled 'go fuck'yo'self'...she's drinking not working..' yep..best New Years Eve ever..