I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

I HAVE ADULT ONSET ASTHMA

or just Asthma..So I goes to the Dr. where all they do is allergies and they have a bunch of cool machines and lots of nice nurses and cute Dr.'s..They take all my information down and then do a blow into a thingy test. Oh you can't believe how I had to bite my tongue when she started staying things like, first you blow into this and I'll keep saying blow blow blow even when you won't want to.(sounds like my first marriage)..then they give you an air treatment where you suck on a machine and then the blow treatment again. Oh man. My mind was spinning with smart ass remarks, if it had just been me and the technician, I would have said each and every one of them, but they had a guy going thru OJT and he looked like he was about to cry any how and if I started making blow job jokes he would have run screaming from the room. Then they have me blow then they have me suck...(I'm telling you it was just one punch line after another)...So I blew then I sucked and then I blew again...my blowing was almost 30 percent better after the sucking treatment. (I could have told them that..ha)..Then they did the prick test..(after being married 3 times I'm a champ at dealing with little pricks)..and here's the good news bad news...I'm not allergic...I'm 'sensitive'...which the Dr says is the same thing..except if you're allergic you can take the allergy shots and if your 'sensitive' you can't . So all the things I am sensitive to are triggers that kick off asthma attacks. Which is what I had Sunday. He said he doubted very much if the fence was a trigger. Said it could have been perfume, grass, cigarette smoke, any number of things..So now I'm on Astepro which is a nasal spray, Symbicort which is an inhaler, Nasonex which is another spray and can finish off the Proventil which is another inhaler..So I inhaled stuff into my lungs and squirted and sprayed crap up my nose into my head and went to bed..slept pretty good and didn't sleep with a tissue with me for the first time in months..didn't blow my nose or anything all night long. Woke up the next morning and could breathe..my head is clear and I can breathe...thank Goddess almighty I can breathe. I felt so good I got into a verbal smack down with some schmuck on Bab's facebook. Tada..I do this twice a day..spraying squirting and sucking. Plus he gave me a script for a pedipen in case I have a bad case of asthma like I did the past Sunday. Praise Oral Roberts I are healed. Well, not healed, but at least there is something they can give me that will help. I go back in a month...and the great thing is ..he gave me 2 little bags full of goodies..3 free samples of each thing I take. Plus the scripts..I really do like this Dr. he's funny..I like funny.
This Thursday I'm having Chinese New Years at West Rest Haven. I am making egg drop soup, pork stuffed wanton's with sweet sour dipping sauce. Cream cheese filled wanton's for desert and each person gets a whole orange(for good luck)..I will have fortune cookies and green and oolong teas. Suzanne is going to bring fortune cookies and chop sticks..and not sure what else. she will probably buy something as it's going to be a lot easier..I went thru about 4 different things I was going to make but they were really hard to make for 30+ people..for 3-4..no biggy, but for large group..it's a pain in the ass. Kathy is supposed to have red table cloths and red napkins and each person will get a red flower.(red is the color of fire and it chases away bad luck)...I'm really nervous about this one..Chinese isn't for everyone..but Louis said as long as I didn't make Chinese Assholes stuffed with rice, I'd be ok..I love Louis.
Did I tell you I lost another one of my little first row ladies?...If you go back and look at the pictures, she's the one in the wheel chair..I loved her..such a sweetheart..My front row is thinning out..
Was going to post pictures from Wolf's from Superbowl Sunday, but battery going out on my fecking camera so only got about 3-4 good ones..will post them separate. I'll also post about the Chinese New year too..Cross your fingers for me..

16 comments:

Rainwolf said...

Glad you're diagnosed and breathing.It could be worse, it could be that early onset adult alz.......somethings.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

So happy you've now got a diagnosis and meds that can help you! Although it must have nearly killed you not to make all those BJ and prick jokes!

I'm sure your Chinese New Years party will be a big success -- something new and different than the same old/same old. And wontons are really just like perogies -- what's not to like?

Jan said...

I'm imagining you blowing and sucking and stifling all those giggles. I'm proud of you, not sure I could have passed up the opportunities.

FoxyMoron said...

Great that you have a handle on it all now. Drugs are good.
You are so funny, and when I grow up I want to be able to cook like you do!
Sorry about your front row lady. But so thankful that you made a difference in her life.

Willym said...

Well thank the goddess they found out what it was! And that there is, if not a cure, at least relief from it. Laurent has asthma and those attacks can be pretty scary things - for both the sufferer and those around them.

Sounds like the old farts are going to have one heck of a Chinese New Year. Maybe you should practice the dragon dance????

MarkD60 said...

I would have let the jokes fly,loosen the new guy up!

Happy Chinese New Year of the rabbit!

Dark Mother said...

I've had asthma since high school. I get flare-ups at certains times of the year and in certain climates. Hopefully, you'll get yours under control and managed quickly.

Also, I bow to you great one for not making smart ass remarks at the blow job crap. Surely I would have offended many many people because my brain to mouth filter has been broken since childhood and it's just too much fun not to fix it.

Name:was Female, I shit you not! said...

Looks like Jackie is ALIVE and WELL ;0)
Your wit knows no generation and is PRICELESS .
Just what the doctor ordered for moi. :0)

rox said...

I'm so glad they got to the bottom of your breathing issues! My MIL took many of those medications you listed because of her asthma. I hope they help you.

"Chinese assholes stuffed with rice" made me LOL! You'll do great at the CNY. Sorry to hear about the front row :(

Karen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grandma K said...

Glad you have some relief, and hopefully can stop other attacks.

Your menu sounds really good. Wouldn't want the Chinese assholes - doesn't matter what they are stuffed with!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I was afraid the medicine would make me all hyper but it makes me sleepy..so I get free naps out of it too..
feeling so much better

squatlo said...

YDGranny, never stifle an opportunity to let your natural humor fly!!! That new guy was probably just about to freak because no one was having any fun with all the gloom and doom!
Let 'er rip!
(fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!)

I love your humor, imagine everyone who comments here, or reads and doesn't bother to comment (shame on all of you!) love it too.
I'd be the first person in the room to have a knee slapping laugh about anything humorous you could find in such a situation, and we need to be on the lookout for one another!!!
Hope you feel better soon, and good luck with the oriental meal... That's way outta my pay grade.

Yankee Girl said...

I do this twice a day..spraying squirting and sucking-----that was a GREAT sentence!

I have no idea how you held back all the BJ jokes. I would have been bursting.

Anne Johnson said...

I'll bet they hear sucking and blowing jokes all day, every day. You were probably a breath of fresh air. And I hope all of your breathing feels like fresh air from now on!

Intense Guy said...

*Hugs*

I'm glad you are breathing easy once more - it sucks and it blows(sheesh) when you can't.

Sorry about the 3 little pricks too - well - sorry for you not for me since they pulled the "average" down and make be being average seem "bigger".

Umm.. well.. you know what I mean.

Hope the chinese food went over well - My niece has cooked 5 meals out of her West TX cookbook now!