old post. Edited

 

 I got to thinking that there was no happy shit in my weird shit..so here is some funny weird shit.

When I went to kindergarten I lasted 3 days before they pinned a note to my snowsuit that said "please check Jackiesue's pockets before she enters the school building"...this was after the first day of dead mouse in teachers desk, second day a mother spider and her nest of baby spiders and third day was glue spilled on her chair..
My cousins and I lived out in country around Mesquite Texas while our daddies were fighting the war...we each had chores. Larrywayne fed chickens, Michael Ray fed pigs and we all helped milk cows... so 2 of us would always gang up on the other one..one time Mike didn't feed the pigs for 2-3 days and then we threw Larrywayne into the pig pen. They almost ate him up...our grandfather "daddy red". Said "y'all gonna kill that boy" we said.. "yup"...now Larrywayne loved  chickens. Probably because we always picked on him so much. But he was a whinny little sissy and we couldn't stand that...he tattled all the time...I still have memories of his voice crying out.. "big mama, jackiesue hit me"...betcha ass I hit him. little weasel. anyhow. Larrywayne had a pet chicken...he named her Elizabeth and he carried her all over the damn place...she slept with him even...we hated that damn chicken. She would peck us if we got near him...soooo(you know where this is going, don't ya sooner)(Sooner being my beloved friend)..one day Larrywayne went to town with his mother and we took Elizabeth to the lady that lived down the dirt road from us..Mrs. Hart. We said that Bigmama was really busy and needed her to help kill this chicken so we could have it for Sunday dinner...so she did. Then we brought back the chicken and said Mrs. Hart had given us this chicken for Sunday dinner...so Bigmama(our grandmother) fried up the chicken...we waited till Larrywayne had eaten a leg and was starting in on a thigh when we informed him that he was eating Elizabeth...I do believe that is why Larrywayne never comes to any of the family reunions if I'm going to be there...I went to his daddy's funeral and he wouldn't come out of the bedroom till I had left... We also tied him to his horse silver.. who was 89 years old...and daddy red said "y'all gonna kill that boy" we said "yup"...this was before tv. Only game in town was fucking with Larrywayne...he kind of sorta got even with me.. when I was about 13 and had tits out to here, he cut a hole in the bath room and charged his friends .25 to peep thru the hole while I took a bath. Took me 2 summers to whip all those boys asses...and Larrywayne's...

ok, is that funny enough. Or is that too mean...