I'm a liberal pagan living in West,Texas..yes that West,Texas

Saturday, March 03, 2007

.......AND THE ANSWER IS:


Welcome my children of planet earth...I have spent these past two days mulling over your questions in hopes that I will not fail you and give you the answers you seek...But if I do fall short and don't deliver as you expected....fuck thee.....It's not like you're paying to get this information...

I will start right out with my good friend Nit Wit....He wonders if he will get something special for being first...Yes, you will...Sometime during the upcoming week, something terrific is going to happen in your life and when it does..you'll know it was my work....wait and see...

Junebugg: I have studied your charts and you have a very very interesting year coming up....Lots of anxiety over the romance in your life...I think you could go along as things are right now but at some point you are going to have to make a decision, one that will make you take a choice between letting things go as they have been..or takin
g a giant step and going for change..It means you will have to do something for you, no matter what the consequences to others...You may have to be selfish...There are lots and lots of ups and downs this coming year...but you will come out on top as you are a survivor and nothing will get you down for long...You will find your true soul mate where you least expect it...other than that? Stay away from fatty foods..

Ruby wants to know if Barry Bonds knowing took steroids and should there be an asterisk next to his name in the record books..
This one is so easy........Of course he knew...you think that he could be taking multi-vitamin's, get bulked up that big and think 'Damn, those vitamins really do work?'..puleeeese..You humans are so gullible, to believe that crock of honey and there should not only be an asterisk next to his name there should be a star, a check mark, an X, and a WTF along with a frowny face...
(Goddess is laughing very hard...)
Jan, the Goddess
thinks you are dangerously close to getting a cosmic bip...The Goddess's carpet matches her drapes...Goddess's have no need for Clairol...(but if she did have a need for such a thing, I'm sure the color would be 'strawberry blond)..
Cyberoutlaw wants to know if Bush and Cheney are Texans..don't get the Yellowdog all riled up...She's off kicking furniture and throwing things at the moving picture box because of something those two did...But she assures me that they are not Texans...the Bush thing(can't call them human as they have no humane qualities) was born in New Haven, Conn. and the Cheney thing was born in Lincoln, Nebraska...I personally think there is a great Texas expression that fits those creatures..'as human's they ain't fit to tote slop to pigs.'
Tex: Tell Bob:"arf, wolf, wolf, bark, snort, sniff, snarl, wolf wolf...bark."....What that means is:'if Daddy can't get any, you can't eith
er.'
Cheesemeister: ah, the human system called banking...Goddess's have no need for banks...so I think you're better off keeping it under the floor in the stable where you keep your livestock...But if that doesn't work for you, I suggest that you take your money out of the large bank, find a nice small town bank like West Bank & Trust and let them take care of your money..The more customers a bank has the less personal they are ...They really don't care...really...they just don't care....
Old Broad: If the under world creature should get impeached, I not only think you should moon the world and post it on your blog, I will organize a world mooning...every person will be compelled to drop trow and present the moon....It could happen..
Carina: You already told us how great Cooper did...but I knew he would win. If he didn't win it would be because the fix was in with the judges...
Apos: Oh no! There will be no plane crashes for you on your 'coming to Ameri
can' ride...you are precious cargo to the Goddess and the Yellowdog.. If you feel some sudden drops and a little shaking, it's the Goddess letting you know you are in safe hands..
Beany, you and I both know that Apos is not going to be changing her ways...so forget the Tim-Tam...that's a no brainer..
Josh...It is so sad what you humans do to each other...besides the wars, the starvation, the lack of caring for your fellow man, the way you obsess over these empty shells ...If you humans
led a better life and spent your time giving of your selves to each other, you wouldn't care what those poor pathetic humans did...
Basically the Goddess is telling earth people...'get a life and live it by doing good.'.
Allan, if it hurts when you pee...well, I think you've had unprotected sex with a skany 'ho and there's a good chance you're dick is going to drop off..

The Goddes
s is very concerned with the behavior of Jim....Jim seems to think that he can be mean, cruel, insensitive, and hurtful and not have to pay any consequences as he excuses his behavior by saying it's just his sense of humor...That won't work with the Goddess Jim...Hitler made his Generals laugh but it didn't excuse killing 6 million Jewish humans...There is no excuse for what you do Jim...and you will find out that continuing to do this will only bring pain and sadness to you...In time you will be a sad, lonely bitter old man..wondering why no one loves you....The Goddess may still love you then Jim, but you will be born again when you die as a woman who will be abused and beaten down her entire life, then you will see what hurt you have brought...

The Goddess..............has left the building...

12 comments:

JBlue said...

Damn! I missed my chance to get my question answered!

apositivepessimist said...

frig I knew I shoulda also asked about me being cavity searched.

yes Beanie! Even the Goddess is saying Back the Hell back from the TimTams.

Nit Wit said...

Oh boy oh boy oh boy I better remember to buy a Mega Millions ticket for Tuesday. It's up to 340,000,000.00. I might be able to get by on that.

Jim said...

i see wat u mean goddess

i will try to change
but u cant really get the spots off a leopard
can u ?

Unknown said...

Sorry I missed the question period also. The Goddess is quite plain spoken, no ambiguity there!

Thank you for the hugs. I'll pass them on to Mary and Boops.

Nit Wit said...

I posted twice just for you so where are you? Out walking with the old biddy I guess.
You'll need new shoes soon. :P

JACKIESUE said...

Jblue:every Thursday and Friday is ask the Goddess days..Saturday she will answer the questions...
apos: The Goddess said if you WOULD LIKE to be cavity searched she can arrange a nice looking chap to do the job for you...
nitwit; what ever it is..you'll like it..and know it was the work of the Goddess.
Jim: The Goddess said 'bullshit'...you are not a leopard and no one is trying to get spots off of you..
You are a human being who is using his 'corny sense of humor' as an excuse to be cruel and inhumane...grow up and be a good human..the Goddess has many ways to punish...
Worried: The Goddess says:"if you beat around the bush...all you get is a beat up bush." big ole Texas hugs to you and yours..
Nitwit: I am fixing to post..I have an interesting few past days...I think I can make it amusing...

Josh said...

Thanks Goddess! I'm actually working on getting together a box of clothes to give to charity.

Me said...

You're on, yellowdoggranny.
I have another question. Is Jim your resident troll? Just askin'.

Carina said...

OMG that was hysterical!
Your labels are funny too. Great job, o Goddess!

JACKIESUE said...

josh:bless you my child..
old broad: if resident troll means asshole at large.....yup...that's jim...
Carina: I think I have more fun with the labels then I do the post..glad you liked it...

BD said...

Thats not right, being cynical about Barry Bonds - ha...