I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Friday, August 23, 2013

lovely blog award

I'm pretty sure that all of my regular readers know everything they would ever care to know about me,including the color of my drawers..(white cotton)
but the crazy one over at Chaosincurls gave me the Lovely Blog Award and have to name seven secrets that I have and name 7 blogs to do the same..here goes.
1. I have walking farts..not little 'poots' but butt cheek ripplers. I like to release them in parking lots when I get out of the truck. Hoping the smell of grackle crap, hot tar and the smell from Jupe Mills will cover them up..
2. I have a lot of friends in West that I'm not sure what their name is..I probably knew them at one time, maybe back when I first met them, over 30 years ago..but I forget..so I call everyone  honey, sweetie, dickhead or asshole to cover it up..you probably know who you are.
3. If you wake me up in the middle of the night, I'll ask you:" Is Elvis still dead?"..don't ask me why..maybe trying to see if it was just a bad dream..who knew Elvis could die..fucker.
4.I don't miss sex..I think I SHOULD  miss it..but I don't ..I can't even imagine getting buck nekkid and slapping bodies together..actually that image makes me laugh out loud.And in case you lost count..it's been 28 years this past July.
5. I wish I had more education..I don't want to go back to school, I'm not insane, but I wish I had stayed in school, not got married and had 3 kids..I wouldn't change anything about the 3 kids..(well, not all the time) but I wish I had stuck with it..gone to college and ran for office and then worked my way up to the first Woman President..I really really believe I would have made a good president..because I wouldn't have been afraid to use the 'I know that you sleep with 13 year old cheerleaders and your going to pass this bill for single payer health care, or I'll show the pictures' card...sweetie, honey dickhead.
6. If I had been old enough to vote (missed it by a week) I would have voted for Goldwater..I'm not even going to try and explain that one..but by the time I could vote I've voted democrat every time.
7. If I didn't have this blog I would not have met all you wonderful people..and that would have been a tragic lost..cause I love you fuckers..


these are some old ones, some new ones..check them out..


Anonymous said...

So my mother wasn't the only one that had rip roarin farts when she walked?! ahahahaha! Also, I think you would make a kick ass President. Thanks for participating, I loved learning this stuff about you, especially the funny stuff.

Anonymous said...

That comment from ~m~ is actually me. I was signed into the wrong damn account.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Congrats! No one tells it like it is the way you do, YDG!

Dave said...

You always make me laugh.

Love, Dickhead.

Nan said...

One of life's not so secret secrets is that the walking farts come with old age. It's like you hit 60 and suddenly you become jet-propelled. Maybe it's compensation for bad knees and sore feet.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the award!
You need to get some colored ginch...it will seriously change your life, it did mine. Hahaha!!!
Derwood has walking farts. Me, I can't swing it. I must be too uptight.

yellowdoggranny said...

ah Dave..my work here is done..

Grandma K said...

Congratulations on the award - and love you too Jackiesue. So glad I found you.

jadedj said...

Awwww, Jackiesue, if only you could learn to just let it all hang out. Who woulda thunk...walking fartical info. THAT definitely deserves an award :-)

As to tagging me...I am honored. However, I couldn't think of even one damned thing to report. But thanks for the thought.

MarkD60 said...

Do you know what a "shart" is?

Intense Guy said...

I think you should run for Prez. You got some rabid and loyal supporters here...