Things I have said, and some things I wish I had said.
Take a good long look at this face. Does this look like a face that gives a shit?
I asked the Godess for a new truck, but I know the Godess doesn't work that way. So I stole a truck.and asked for forgiveness.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
The last thing I want to do is kick your ass. But it's still on the list.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
If Godess is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
The last thing I want to do is kick your ass. But it's still on the list.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
If Godess is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
If you beat around the bush, all you get is a beat up bush.
Chin up..tits out.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
