I'm a liberal pagan living in West,Texas..yes that West,Texas

Tuesday, July 07, 2009


Things I have said, and some things I wish I had said.

Take a good long look at this face. Does this look like a face that gives a shit?
I asked the Godess for a new truck, but I know the Godess doesn't work that way. So I stole a truck.and asked for forgiveness.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
The last thing I want to do is kick your ass. But it's still on the list.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
If Godess is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
If you beat around the bush, all you get is a beat up bush.
Chin up..tits out.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.


Willym said...

Oh Lady, I needed those words of wisdom right now. Thanks for the laugh.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hee hee! Thanks for the giggles!

Pom said...

Another one to print off and stick to the fridge!

Yankee Girl said...

Chin up, tits out is the best advice I've ever heard!

sageweb said...

This is exactly what I need today..lots of good laughs.

jan said...

I'd like to see someone use that as a campaign slogan when running against an incumbent: Politicians are like diapers..

billy pilgrim said...

second mouse gets the cheese, i'll have to remember that one.

rainywalker said...

Interesting picture. I'm sure the ink is seeping out of the woodwork in Texas. My daughter is getting her passport stamped so she can leave Texas and come visit me in Colorado. If you and your friends are out and get attacked by a bear. Remember you don't have to out run the bear, just your friends.

Heidi said...

As usual, great thoughts.

Josh said...

Good advice about arguing with the idiot, especially after having spent some time shaking my head in disbelief over at the Fox News forums...


willym:your more than welcome.
debra:yah, some of them cracked me up..even the ones i say..
pom:some would make some great tshirts..im thinking about making chin up tits out tshierts..haha
yankee:i've been saying it since the 60's..but i googled it and every one and there granny is saying it..knew i should have patented it..ha
sage:then my work here is done.
jan:yeah, that one is a favorite.
billY:works for the mice..
rainy:yup, all you have to do is be faster than one person..
heidi:thanks sweety
josh:you watch fox? oh man..i'd go nuts if i watched that shit.

Intense Guy said...

:) Thanks for the smiles this morning.

I think politicans are more like what ends up in the diaper but the point is well taken. :)

Anonymous said...

I admit it. Those are funny.

rosemary said...

you hit it perfectly with the horny sandwich.

Big Pissy said...

LOVE these! You always make me smile. :)