.......LIFE WITH A CRAZY.......

Cat makes getting up in the morning very interesting....and just a little scary..

The little "Asshole" has been so disruptive during the am hours around 5-5:30 that I have had to lock him out of the bedroom so I can sleep.

Which means when I get up, I never know what I'm going to find..books all over the floor,paper scattered from room to room, the rug in the kitchen is draped across the back of the couch(still don't know how he managed that)..all the plants are dug up and dirt every where..toilet paper is shredded and scattered all over the house..and the butter I keep out on the counter has lick marks, and there are little patty paw prints all over the counter..He goes into the entertainment center and scatters my movies and Cd's of music every where..the 45's from the record pile are all over the carpet..This morning I found all my pictures and the frames I had put out to use were all over the dining room floor and he had ripped to shreds one of my favorite Indian baskets..I have never seen an animal live up to his name like this one. He has figured out how to get the doors open for the cupboards under the sink, which means I have garbage scattered over the area that would have normally been covered by the rug but it's in the living room..Most of this goes undetected as he is a silent house wrecker..except that now he has discovered the door stop...there is one in the bedroom, the living room and one for the bathroom door that opens into the hall way

right by my door...so I get woke up to 'twaaaaaaang'....3 second pause..

'twaaaaang'...3 second pause..

'twaaaaaaaaang...

twaaaaaang...

twaaaaang.'

1 second pause..

'twangtwangtwangtwangtwang'

..you get the picture..I started out with the spray bottle with just water..then I went to

1/2 water, 1/2 vinegar...now it's all vinegar and he could give a flying fuck..I can squirt him about 8 times really fast right in the face and he just strolls off..only time he acts like he's afraid of it, is when he thinks it's some sort of game..I try and figure out what I ever did in my past 63 1/2 years to deserve this little fucker in my golden years...but there are too many things to count...but still...give me a break..I went in to the kitchen the other morning to make my daily oatmeal and stepped on the carpet and there was a yowl and I nearly fell on my ass...the Asshole was under the rug sound asleep...and I didn't see him..him being UNDER THE FUCKING RUG...I can't take a crap without him attacking me from behind my Texas flag shower curtain..and he likes to sleep on the back of the toilet so that when I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night(I never turn the light on)..I don't know that he is on the back of the toilet until he attaches all 4 claws to the back of my head and goes 'meoooooow'..all I can say is it's a good thing I am where I am ..as he scares the shit out of me..Little fucker..and I swear after he does that he is laughing his ass off..

Other then that?....life is normal..