20 WAYS TO LIVE TO BE 100

1. Be positive..cheerful, optimistic people will live longer by 50%. I'm cheerful and optimistic...I gleefully make life as miserable as I can for all Evangelical Christians and Republicans as I can..figure that will add 20 years to my life right there.

2. Learn to manage your stress. Exercise, yoga or meditation or just eliminating the causes of stress.

I would but it's against the law to remove the president of the united states unless it's by impeachment. That should be good for 15 years right there.

3. Learn to say no. If it's going to stress you out, just say no..You can't make everyone happy, so concentrate on making yourself happy..It recommends doing this with out being a jerk..but doesn't say anything about being an asshole about it...so I usually say 'fuck no'...Works for me and makes me happy, relieves stress and will add another 10-15 years to my life.

4. Dance, sing. Anything that makes you feel euphoric, then do it..So light up Tex and Billy and dance yo' asses off..Sing along to the radio and shake your booty. Shake, shake, shake, shake your booty, shake your booty. I dance to the radio when I clean house and sing all the time, even when people tell me to shut the fuck up. So maybe 5 years here.

5.Be smart about what you eat and how much. Eat more fruits and vegetables and less red meat. So does that mean you start big?...Nope, start out by knocking off the word 'super-size' from your vocabulary. That'll work. I have to watch my diet being a diabetic, so that one probably evens out as I may eat better, but I'm still a diabetic. So deduct 10 years here.

6. Exercise. Try to do at least 20 minutes a day and do it regular. I consider getting up from my chair and walking over to the computer 10-15 times a day, plenty enough exercise for me. Deduct 10 years.

7. Exercise your brain. Solve puzzles, take classes, learn to play chess or bridge or learn to play an instrument. I have been working on one puzzle for almost 8 years. Why the fuck did anyone vote for Bush, and vote for the dumb sonsabitch...........twice...That's a real puzzle. Plus I do 3 puzzles a day and play games on line..That should be good for another 5 years.

8. Stay active. Get off that chair and off the couch. Go for a walk, go to the mall, work in the garden, mow your lawn. Well, I do a lot of walking at work..I work in the yard and don't have to mow, so think that one is still good for 5 years.

9. Stay connected. maintain a network of friends, be friendly with your neighbors. Isolation leads to depression. I stay connected with all my friends in town, as I see most of them all the time, as West is only 2,000 people. I stay connected to all of you on line in one way or another...but fuck the neighbors...hm, I would say that one is a push too...

10.Read a newspaper. I read the DAM news every day. I love my DAM news, and we have a new paper person and they have been delivering me a Waco paper too. It's crap, but I read it. So I should make 5 years on this one.

11. Quit smoking. I quit smoking 35 or so years ago. When Thom(6 years old) told me I was going to die and leave him an orphan and he was going to be adopted by a homosexual couple. Some guy had come out of the closet and he and his partner were trying to get custody of his son by his marriage. It was a big thing in the early 70's and was all over the news..Thom didn't even know what a homosexual couple was, but he knew they were trying to adopt a kid..and he used that to make me quit smoking. It worked..If I had known then what I know now about Thom I would have let them adopt him.

I should get 10 years for that.

12. Drink in moderation. A study shows that a glass of red wine or ale every day reduces the risk of cardiovascular disease. Well, don't tell that to an alcoholic, we'll have a great hear and a diseased liver by the weekend. Since I don't drink and haven't in 17 years I should consider this a push too..as I really did my share (and several other peoples share too) of drinking before I finally quit.

13. Get or stay thin. Thinner is better if you want to live to 100...I may have lost over 45 lbs. but I'm still a chunk of a woman. So...probably lose 10 years here. If I hadn't found out I was a diabetic, I'll be a chunk and a half...

14.Limit exposure to the sun. It will not only wrinkle your skin, it can cause skin cancer, and THAT WILL kill you.

I don't sit out in the sun and haven't in over 25 years. I am allergic to the sun.(MOJO is allergic to the cold) I can sit in sun for 30 minutes and will blister like a sonofabitch. Now I used to..when I lived in Hawaii I looked freaky. I had platinum blond hair and skin like George Hamilton. That should give me another 5 years.

15. Find a good doctor and get regular checkups. Preventive medicine is your best bet. Yeah, but if you don't have insurance it will interfere with trips to the Dr. Plus I'm still looking for a Dr. that looks like this.

So I think this should be a push for me too. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

16. Keep track of your medication. I keep mine in a pill box with mornings and nights on it..I have to keep up. So give me 5 years on that one, deduct 5 years as they are for diabetes, and it's a push again.

17.Dump the deadwood. Hang out with cheerful people, as grouches bring you down and yada, yada, depression.

I figured that out years ago..Life's too short to hang out with ass holes. Learned that after marrying 3 of them. Give me 20 years on that one...Deduct 10 because I married 3 assholes.

18. Get a pet. Pets keep you smiling and keep you active. Plus they're good company. I agree. Have had pets all my life so give me 20 years Goddess. Deduct 5 years for having the Asshole, as he was very stressful.

19. Learn how to use a computer. Duh!...Give me 10 years, I came to this late.

20. It's never too late. No matter how old you are, you can benefit from a healthier lifestyle. I am living proof of that. Smoked, drank, did drugs, had sex with a lot of guys and some assholes. I think I should get 20, deduct 10 for them assholes again.

so.....it's never too late...get off your asses, turn the radio on to an oldies but goodies station and shake, shake shake, shake your booty....shake your booty..

so I figured I'll live to maybe 110....if some Evangelical Republican asshole doesn't take me out first...fuckme till I'm at least 100..

CLEANING OUT THE STUMBLE CLOSET

This one is especially for ..well, you know who you are..huh Tex and Billy?

QUIT STUMBLING AND GO OUT AND PLAY

George Bush sucking the brain and soul out of a Republican baby.

Busted!

David after a Westfest Weekend in West, Texas.
AHHH, FREDDIE...

this was a float in a parade in Germany..

HEALTH AND WEST NEWS

Finally I am better. Missed 3 days of work...feel so bad...I know that they must have been short handed, but hard to feel bad for them when my head's was in the toilet..
I did my good deed for the day...one of the lady's I know from Bold Springs Baptist Church called me (I had given her my phone number in case she needed a ride..she had a stroke and can't drive) and needed someone to go to West Rest Haven where her sister worked and pick up her lunch..So I did, and then her little granddaughter Robin didn't want to eat hers as it wasn't fried Chicken..so I took her and Robin to Bush's Chicken and back home..While I was out, I picked up my check went to the bank, and on the way home, threw up in the middle of the road..yeah, that made my day..Came home ..leaned down to get Annie's food dish and got sick again..Boy did that piss me off..By dinner I had started to feel much better..Sara and her friend ?? what ever..I can never remember that kids name, came by to borrow the vacuum cleaner..Got to hear her hard luck story about how broke she was yadda yadda yadda..So I asked her if she wanted her graduation money now instead of when she actually graduated on the 31st of the month...So I wrote her a check and sent them on their way..Still waiting for her to bring back my vacuum cleaner..Went to Video World and got Sicko and Golden Compass...I decided for dinner I wasn't going to eat any soup, or more water, I needed some solid food..so made me a cheese burger that was almost as good as Bold Springs Baptist Church cheese burgers...Also got the fixings for the chocolate, marshmallow, banana sandwich and called Babs and invited her over for movie and chocolate sandwich...The movie was terrific...but we decided that the sandwich needed work...Didn't like the bitterness from the crispy marshmallows and the chocolate needed something..so we think it needed cinnamon raisin bread, bananas, marshmallow fluff, a Hershey candy bar and peanut butter..or Reese's cups on top of the bananas and the fluff...Remember the chocolate sandwich I used to make all the time before I became a diabetic(probably what pushed my diabetes over the edge..)like that but better..Sent all the fixings home with Babs as I didn't need the temptation..It only made my blood sugar go up to 162...see what it is in the am...eek!
We have great news for West..or great news as far as I'm concerned...Sonic is coming to town...They are going to level the old defunct Dairy Queen and replace it with a Sonic..I loooove Sonic..them foot long chili dogs and limeades..We are also getting a new Mexican ??? Sandwich shop?...I don't know what to call it..It's called Mexspresso..will be over by the Czech Inn and serve coffees, lattes, sandwiches, tacos and wraps. Plus the Los Compenaros' or Compenardo's???? will be opening soon too..In case none of you know...Sonic is a Oklahoma Chain..The guy that is putting it up lives in Prague, Oklahoma and owns over 20 Sonics in Texas, 8 i Mississippi and 5 more in Oklahoma. It should be in by the end of the year...I can't wait..
The library made almost $500 at the book sale..which is really great...What they didn't sell and what I didn't bring home with me for free they donated to the Waco Library for their book sale..They kept all the kids books and are letting anyone who wants them to take them for free...I brought some of them home and will send them to Buddha_Boy most likely..But if anyone wants some..let me know..
This Saturday we are having a Classic Chevy Show. There will be approximately 100 cars. It's sponsored by the Heart of Texas Classic Chevy Club of Waco. This cars will be from 1955-1972 and will be from all over the state. There will be 20-40 from Houston alone..So if you're out on the highway Saturday and see a bunch of Classic Chevy's headed in my direction, it's for the show. We have a local kid that is now stationed in Iraq. Pfc. Bryan Nors is stationed in Iraq with the U. S. Army. If you want to write to him his address is:
PFC Bryan Nors,A. 3-73 Cav-CSC S Cania
APO AE 09331.
I am calling Frankie G. so he or his grandson Joey can come rotor-till my little patch of grass so I can put in a garden..I know it's late, but I keep changing my mind..I want to plant some okra, onions, watermellon, carrots, radish, beans, peas, spinach and assorted lettuce's..
I no longer feel like pounded poo poo...thanks for all the get wells...Going to go watch sicko...that should piss me off good before I go to bed...nighty night ya'll..
well, fiddle fuck!.....Can't get the fucking blogger to allow me to post pictures ...so will add the pictures later...or something...bite me blogger..

STUMBLING STILL

I FEEL LIKE HAMMERED SHIT

Tuesday night I started throwing up and had severe diarrhea..up all fucking night long..was not fun and really wasn't pretty..Called in work yesterday, and felt worse after the phone call...Julie answered the phone, Julie is the manager at another store, no Tom, no Inky and I guess only Angela was there, actually forgot to ask. All I could think of was...I need to be there, but unless they set up the register in the bathroom, there is no way I can make it..arghghghg...Thought I had it under control yesterday and would be able to go back to work today...nope..repeat of the day before..fuckity fuck fuck fuck..Have to call work..and feel worse...I know Inky's off today as he has to take today off to take Anessa to the Dr. about her spider bite..fuckity fuck fuck fuck...But there is nothing I can do...I even threw up the pepto bismo...Did I spell that right?...oh who cares...My stomach is cramping so bad and I feel like I have a boot in my throat..every time I swallow I think I'm going to barf...ooooh sweet Goddess, even thinking about barfing makes me want to barf...I'll be back...

uhhhh, do you know hard it is on your stomach to throw up...........nothing...uhhhhh..and being diabetic I have to try and keep something down so I can take my meds..only thing that seems to work is some funky crackers I have, but they are pretty high in carbs..fuckity fuck fuck fuck...I'm packing it in..just wanted you to know if you don't hear from me in a day or two..I'm not dead...just feels like it...