I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Thursday, December 27, 2007

OH BURY ME ON THE LONE PRAIRIE



Get your red hot biodegradable coffins for your green funeral...Yup, the latest green phase is eco-friendly cemeteries and biodegradable coffins.."It's composting at its best,"said Ms. Beal, owner of the Natural Burial Co., which will sell a variety of eco-friendly burial products when it opens in January,including the Ecopod, a kayak-shaped coffin made out of recycled newspapers.\Biodegradable coffins are part of a larger trend toward"natural"burials,which require no formaldehyde embalming, cement vaults, chemical lawn treatments or laminated caskets.Advocates say such burials are less damaging to the environment.
Cremation has long been considered more environmentally friendly than burials in graveyards, but its use of fossil fuels has raised concerns.
Eco-friendly burials have been popular in Britain for years, but industry experts say it's starting to catch on in the U.S.,where "green" cemeteries hosting natural burials have sprouted up in Texas,California, Florida, New York and South Carolina.
The majority of eco-friendly burial products come from overseas-including the Ecopod, which is made in the United Kingdom-although there are a few domestic makers. Options range from natural-fiber shrouds to fair-trade bamboo caskets lined with unbleached cotton.There are also more traditional-looking handcrafted coffins made of wood certified
by the Forest Stewardship Council.
The market is potentially huge. U.S. funeral homes generate an estimated $11 billion in revenue annually,and that figure is sure to grow as baby boomers age.(the two biggest business's in West are Aderholds Funeral Home and the grocery stores)
There are already specialty funerals, featuring caskets with custom paint jobs and urns with the insignia of a favorite team.(there you go....bury me in a croker sack stuffed into a refrigerator box painted blue and silver). Industry experts say eco-friendly funerals are just an extension of such personalized end-of-life planning.
Biodegradable containers cost from around $100 for a basic cardboard box up to more than $3,000 for a handcrafted, hand-painted model.
"It's hard to tell if it's a fad or if it's here to stay," said Bob Fells of the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association."We are certainly positioning ourselves that if this is what the community wants, we are ready to serve them."...(blood sucking bastids...)(stolen from Sarah Skidmore of the Associated Press)
I see a booming business here...If Jerry Jones was smart he and the other owners of the teams would each start their own eco-friendly funeral business...Get your own NFL burial...Get buried in a coffin decorated in your favorite teams colors and you get your own personalized autographed football..They could build a cemetery right next to the stadium, and bury them on their ends facing the stadium ...so they can look out each Sunday and watch the game..I think I am going into the natural funeral business building paper mache coffins...
I need a hobby...I have way to much time on my hands and articles like this will just end up getting my ass in trouble...

23 comments:

Kalibitch said...

I'm letting 'em burn my ass. I figured it was fitting.

You can make me a paper mache urn though. Put together with spit and love. heh.

jan said...

Why don't we just throw a horse blanket over the dead and throw in a little potash to help them break down quicker. (I probably need a hobby too.)

buddha_girl said...

You crackhead! Forget Jerry - YOU should market these caskets. For real! I see piles of money in your future!

I wonder if laws are going to change. When my Dad died, the state of VA gave us 24 fucking hours to have him embalmed. From what I recall, the law in VA is that if you die and aren't in some assembly line for an autopsy or investigation, ya gotta get embalmed. Weird.

Sent your package out today. You should have it in two days. I was very firm with the mail guy!

billy pilgrim said...

i've already put aside a folger's coffee tin to hold my remains.

yellowdog granny said...

kalibitch:yeah, I can decopogue a urn for you..that would be cool..I always wanted to be cremated and buried in a empty bucket of kentucky fried chicken..cause im finger licking good...
jan:yeah, funerals and burials are for the living..the dead dont' give a fuck...yeah, we need hobbies..
buddhagirl:you know i really did give it some thought about starting up a recycled paper coffin business...there is an artist here in town that could hand decorate them as requested..hah..I think embalming is horrible and if i can get around it..I will ...ick..unless they can embalm me with dublin dr.pepper...
cool..will be looking for it..glad 'obert liked all his books..I feel like such a dufus..I found a little tiny perfect little christmas ball, make in CzecheslovakiaI(spelling) and laid it on the coffee table to find a box, and next thing I heard was pat pat pat, clink..Annie had bounced it off the table and broke it...fuckity fuck fuck fuck...so by next year I will have him a perfect christmas ball...
billypilgrim:is that 'roasted' folgers?

BBC said...

I always said that I wanted them to toss me on a pile of driftwood at low tide and do happy naked pagan dancing around me as I turned to ashes and back to the earth.

But because that is hard on the planet these days I would just as soon be chopped up and ran through a blender and served in the drinks at the happy naked pagan dancing.

Fuck the funeral industry and their wanting to make money off of my death, with any luck at all I'll make it to the park I love so much and become of the earth again.

BBC said...

"I need a hobby...I have way to much time on my hands and articles like this will just end up getting my ass in trouble..."

Don't you mean your 'fat ass'? LOL

Cherlee's said...

I hope your Christmas was a great one and The New Year brings you all the best! ~Hugs~

Nit Wit said...

All I want done when I go is be cremated. then find the nearest crapper and flush me away. My ghost is sure to clog up the whole towns sewage system.
I have a lot of hobbies and one day I may actually complete a project.
They canget around all that gas used to burn people up. Just figure out a way to harness all that methane that the cows are generating and use it instead.

Winston said...

Cremation for me... But I like the idea of the urns. Maybe a two-sided job with UT (that's Tennessee, not the damn Longhorns) logo and colors on one side and Titans on the other.

I think yer on to a big thang with the burial grounds around stadiums. Some of the rich dumb-asses that want to keep their fortunes away from kids they don't like would pay huge for a really Permanent Seat License to stand buried in a Cowboys box in a field close to Texas Stadium. Good luck to you and your team of lawyers trying to get permission to use the NFL and NCAA controlled logos...

yellowdog granny said...

cherlee:thanks sweety and hope you had a great christmas and a great new year..
nitwit:yeah, there should be a way to cremate bodies without scrweing up the inviorment..freeze dry and then crush?
winston:yeah, I won't be able to do it..but I bet jerry jones and rest of them money grubbing bastids would figure out a way to make money off of it..

Big Pissy said...

yep....cremation...that's the way to go. ;-)

Anne Johnson said...

Okay. First. Thank you for giving me the nightmare of being buried in a coffin painted with Cowboys colors. Now I have to go change my will, so that next to "Do not baptize me Mormon after I'm dead," it says "do not bury me in a coffin painted blue and silver."

The eco-friendliest method of burial was that practiced by the enlightened Native American cultures. They would put the corpses on biers in the trees. The vultures and insects would consume the meat. Then the Native Americans would bury the bones. No coffin required.

This is how I want to be disposed of after death, but I suppose it'll take some ingenuity to git r done.

yellowdog granny said...

big pissy:yup but then you foul up the enviroment..
anne:you will for sure out live me so you don't have to worry about me sneaking over and stuffing a dallas cowboy tshirt in your coffin...good thing for you, im an old fart and will go first..i like the idea of being buzzard meat and then bury the bones..but that was ok, when there weren't that many people on the earth..now it could get a little stinky if we tried that..snort*

Allan said...

I plan on being converted to Soylent Green.

kath said...

hey jac...

Happy New Year... I am glad to know you sister!

McRaven said...

Bruce and I were just talking about this...I think it's a great idea!

RoxRocks said...

I'll take Cremation for a hundred please Alex.

I'm Canadian. Cremation is my one shot at finally being warm.

/Try the veal. I'm on a roll. LOL

Allan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Allan said...

Damn. I'm not the only one. Oops.

yellowdog granny said...

allan:I'll have a cup of Alan please with crackers..
kath:right backatcha sista'
mcraven:it's the least we can do for the earth..

rox:canadians have to have a sense of humor, it's the only thing that keeps them warm...tip the waiter...funny girl..
allan:I just checked out your new blog...cool~

mountain mama said...

hello all,

I've always thought it would be fun to be cremated with someone read "THe Cremation of Sam McGee" over the oven. However, I'm also tempted by the thought of being good fertilizer...Plant something nice over the spot where ya' plant me, and I'll take the horse blanket, too!

earthartist said...

Natural Burial Around the World

The modern concept of natural burial began in the UK in 1993 and has since spread across the globe. According the Centre for Natural Burial, http://naturalburial.coop there are now several hundred natural burial grounds in the United Kingdom and half a dozen sites across the USA, with others planned in Canada, New Zealand, South Africa and even China.

A natural burial allows you to use your funeral as a conservation tool to create, restore and protect urban green spaces.

The Centre for Natural Burial provides comprehensive resources supporting the development of natural burial and detailed information about natural burial sites around the world. With the Natural Burial Co-operative newsletter you can stay up-to-date with the latest developments in the rapidly growing trend of natural burial including, announcements of new and proposed natural burial sites, book reviews, interviews, stories and feature articles.

The Centre for Natural Burial