I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Thursday, April 09, 2009

ONLY IN TEXAS




Waco, Texas is 17 miles from West, Texas...

Police said Wednesday that fight over flatulence left one man stabbed and another facing an assault charge.
Five men from the Houston area were sharing a Waco motel room Tuesday night, and two were inside the room eating when one had a flatulence problem, Waco police officer Steve Anderson said.(flatulence problem is nicey nice for farting a hole in your drawers) One man was so upset about the gas that he threw a large knife at him, cutting his leg, and then stabbed him in the chest, Anderson said. ( I would think stabbing him in the ass would be more appropriate.)
Juan Antonio Salano Castelano, 35, was taken to a Waco hospital, where he was treated for injuries that did not appear to be life-threatening, Anderson said.
Jose Braule Ramirex, 33, of Houston was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, police said. He was being held in the McLennan County Jail(yeah, there won't be any farting there Jose)on $15,000 bond and placed on an immigration hold(gee, why doesn't that surprise me)according to jail records. he cannot be released until authorities verify he is in the country legally.
I just love living in Texas...

16 comments:

mrsb said...

A long time ago, I read a book that said that Waco, Tx was the epicenter of evil, lol. Some sort of portal to hell. There does seem to be a lot of bad juju that happens there and close by. Maybe there was something to it...

Intense Guy said...

Nuts. Can't we deport the idjut anyway? :)

Next thing you know the green house gas / global warming crowd will be wanting to fine or jail folks for farting.

Utah Savage said...

You know I'm a big fan of fart humor. And I am amazed by the number of women who claim to have never ever farted in the presence of their beloved--now I know why. Some men just have no sense of humor.

yellowdog granny said...

mrsb:no offense to the baptist..but waco is the home of the largest baptist university..so what better place to put the portal to hell..remember these are the people that wont have sex standing up for fear that people will think they're dancing..
intenseguy:my entire family is a fart factory...we joke about them, lay in wait to surprise them with attack farts..and although they are pretty rank, no one has stabbed anyone for farting..
utah:if i didn't fart my head would blow off..i eat too many fart inducing foods..chili, brocolli, cucumber,and beans of all color, black, red, green, brown and white. i always thought that was why certain women always have that pinched look on their face all the time..from holding in farts..

buddha_girl said...

If that's not a buttroy, I don't know what is.

jan said...

That must have raised the carbon footprints in Waco by a bunch.

Yankee Girl said...

Wow! Totally insane! Some people get so mad over the weirdest things.

Junebugg said...

I would think that a gun would be more "appros", that way he could blow a hole in the guy, you know to let more of the gas out

yellowdog granny said...

buddha:with a capital B
jan:we'll be planting trees for 5 months to make up for the difference.
yankeegirl:yeah, it was probably taco bell farts anyhow..
junny:no kidding..or just knock him down and plug him up..

thezeninyou said...

OMG...that is hilarious...and could only happen in Texas!

The Future Was Yesterday said...

"Trained Fartists" can launch a sustained psychological and physical war upon bystanders that often drives them to the edge of insanity, but stabbing...Jesus!!

I swear every word of the below really happened when I was a kid, and is not made up.

My Dad was a Fartist. He could launch them all, from little tiny squeakers to cupboard rattling tornado's. And he seemingly could do all this on demand. Ma'd get so damn mad at him at the dinner table, she'd throw the wooden napkin holder at him, and he'd stop. For a while. The minute the poor woman calmed down a bit, Dad would excuse himself from the table, and cut loose with an F5 as he left. Poor Ma would just scream!

Some of Dad's best work was silent. We could never prove it was Dad, and we damn sure didn't dare accuse him......but almost as regular as the calender, our family pew in church, and two each way, would slowly fill up with this eye burning gas. Dad would just sit there with this beatific look on his face, singing along with everybody else. The ride home was always ear splitting with the sound of Ma reaming out Dad's ass.

All of " us kids" were 50 or better when Dad passed away. Ma was in her mid 80's. She wanted to walk up to Dad's casket. The Old Soldier was taking it pretty hard, so my older brother grabbed one arm, I grabbed the other, and my Sister followed along behind with the wheel chair, just in case. Ma shed some tears, and motioned for us kids to hold her close. We thought she was feeling weak so we all jumped up and grabbed her.

"At least the old bastard isn't gonna fart anymore!!", Ma whispered.

Us kids would go out to the house for Dinner with Ma, and the occasional unintended fart would escape. Ma'd look up and say with a smile: "not even close, Rookie!!"


Sorry bout the book, but you struck a chord.......

Kulkuri said...

Years ago I had a friend that would threaten people with, "Shut up or I'll fart." Those threats were taken seriously by all that knew him. He'd buy pickled eggs in a bar and then complain if they didn't work up a good fart.

Worked with another guy that was notorious for cutting wicked farts. We renamed the plumbing vent pipe after him. Once after eating venison, he cut a fart in one room and as he came out, he told everyone, "Don't go in there. Dead deer."

Neither one ever got stabbed as far as I know.

RunninL8 said...

Wiping away the tears..
my fart and poop obsessed 5 yr old would love this one. But she's too young and doesn't need the encouragement anyways.

sageweb said...

Texas is amazing!

Doralong said...

I'd say "Holy Crap!" but that might not necessarily be appropriate I guess.

Oh I did say it, never mind.

yellowdog granny said...

zen:that's what i think.
only in texas.
future:oh man, i loved the story..i can write a book about the farting incidents in my family too..aren't we weird? haha
kulkuri:we would always blame it on our dog Bill..Bill did it and he'd slink off, like he really was guilty..poor baby.
runningl8:you'll have to bookmark it for when she gets older.haha.
sage:no shit!...for lack of a better term..ahahah
doralong:my favorite expression too..but dont think his farts were holy..ha