I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Saturday, February 27, 2010

OH CANADA

I love you Canaderian sonsabitches.
Oh, Canada
Our home and native land,
True patriot love
In all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts We see thee rise,
The true, north, strong, and free.
From far and wide
Oh Canada
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land Glorious and free.
Oh, Canada
we stand on guard for thee,
Oh, Canada
we stand on guard for thee.

WOLF'S CHILI COOK OFF



On the left is Inky and his kid Devin making the magic happen..Below is Inky and his brother Pee Wee. Yes, they all have real names. Inky's name is Melvin and Pee Wee's name is Miles. All the kids names start with M. The picture below Inky and Devin is Pee Wee and Inky. Then Pee Wee and some other Dude.
Devin is showing off his ability for handstands. Did I tell you he plays football too?

This is the Adamson alarm clocks. The Cock-a-too is Willie and the Parrot is Fugly. After Annie died they thought about giving me Fugly so I'd have another pet. Thank the Goddess I got Dexter instead. He may be a pain in the ass(and bites me in it too) but at least he doesn't scream and squawk and throw birdseed all over the place.
















The picture on the top left is Inky with a couple of the local bar bums.
Second on the left is Inky and Pee Wee's son Josh. They all look alike..Inky with his celebratory beer. The pictures on the right are the proud 6th place winners holding their certificates. I asked Inky to tell you guys what happened and basically they came they cooked and he took 6th place. All Inky cared was he beat his brother. Who took 9th.
When they announced Pee Wee for 9th place he flashed a big L on his forehead as he didn't think Inky could do better. Boy was he pissed when he took 6th and beat him. Inky fucking loved it. As you can see it was cold that day and not exactly chili cooking weather. Chili eating weather but not to cook it. Next year Inky and I are going in together and make some. Although he told me he used a chili mix for the spices and I nearly had a heart attack. Me the purist who gets her chili powder from New Mexico so there won't be any other spice in it. Most of them say chili powder but there will also be garlic powder and salt. Screws up my recipe. So we may have to have a couple of our own chili cook offs to see who has the best recipe and go with it. (I'm sorry, but I know I'm winning this one...ha)
Today and tomorrow is the Oglesby Heart Of Texas Snake Handlers rattle snake round up. My friend Mike(Inky's brother) and his son Tanner will be in the show. Tanner and Mike will probably do the sleeping bag(they put you in a sleeping bag, then put rattlers on top of you, zip up the bag and then you crawl out(hopefully with out getting bit)Then if things go as planned...Mike will kiss a cobra on his head. I think he still does that. What it is is a rattlesnake round up..where people go in holes, caves, under houses, etc. find rattlers and bring them in and see who has the most(they weigh them). Then they put on safety shows. How to get out of a sleeping bag with snakes in them(it happens...although not as many as they put in), they put snakes all over the floor and then they walk barefooted through them to show how to get away from them if you walk up on one..They sit in the floor and then pile snakes all over you, including on top of your head. (one ole dude got snake bit right on top of his bald head...I laughed my ass off and told him 'serves you right asshole.'...Years ago at one show someone thought it would be funny to scare Jackie with a rattler..I actually climbed over a guy who was about 6' 8" (without his hat and boots..which he was wearing)..to get away from the snake. There were little tiny cowboy boot prints up his shirt and on his hat and down the other side. If I can drag myself away from the Olympics I'll take the camera and take some pictures. Not to be believed.
I have coined a new expression. I was in the bathroom and Dexter came in to use his liter box. He climbed in and didn't go in far enough and was pooping on the floor...I was yelling at him"Dexter...your shitting outside the box."....So from here on..when someone is doing something out of the norm..it will be referred to as shitting outside the box. It ranks right up there with buttroy..

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I STOLE THIS FROM BOROWITZ REPORT..

DETROIT (The Borowitz Report) – General Motors’ decision yesterday to stop manufacturing Hummers has struck at the heart of the group who loved the vehicles most: America’s assholes.
Across the nation, leading assholes spoke of a sense of loss and sadness caused by the decision, and suggested that they would now be searching for new ways to compensate for their small penises.Tracy Klugian, a realtor in Tempe, Arizona, said that he would consider buying a boat with an annoyingly loud sound system, “but it just won’t say ‘asshole’ like a Hummer does.”
Mr. Klugian, whose penis has been described as “microscopic,” also questioned the timing of GM’s decision.“Right now, the Hummer is the only thing on the road capable of stopping a Toyota,” he said
I love this guy...he makes me laugh..and laugh...and laugh..

Monday, February 22, 2010

.............................just saying

When I saw this I cracked up...and I have to admit...the first person I thought of was....
Yankee Girl....If you don't read her blog...you won't get it..if you do read it..You got it.
Inky was in the Wolf's Chili Cook Off last Sunday and they brought me some pictures and will post them and get Inky over here to tell you what went on..But he did win 6th place.
We're supposed to get from 4-7 inches of snow tomorrow..I'm going to drag Babs out of her cave and we're going to build big tittied snow maidens...I can't wait..We'll take pictures of course.

OLYMPIC SIZED MONDAY STUMBLES

yes, it's me...and it's fucking Monday..as apposed to not getting any on Monday..