I'm a liberal pagan living in West,Texas..yes that West,Texas

Thursday, February 25, 2010


DETROIT (The Borowitz Report) – General Motors’ decision yesterday to stop manufacturing Hummers has struck at the heart of the group who loved the vehicles most: America’s assholes.
Across the nation, leading assholes spoke of a sense of loss and sadness caused by the decision, and suggested that they would now be searching for new ways to compensate for their small penises.Tracy Klugian, a realtor in Tempe, Arizona, said that he would consider buying a boat with an annoyingly loud sound system, “but it just won’t say ‘asshole’ like a Hummer does.”
Mr. Klugian, whose penis has been described as “microscopic,” also questioned the timing of GM’s decision.“Right now, the Hummer is the only thing on the road capable of stopping a Toyota,” he said
I love this guy...he makes me laugh..and laugh...and laugh..


Nit Wit said...

He is funny. I get his Email newsletter.
Funny thing about this asshole report though. We have a small county here with less than 40,000 people but about 20% seem to own Hummers or big 4 wheel drive pickup trucks with home entertainment centers in the cab that they need ladders to get into. When they do they run around town sharing their wonderful music with me in my house.
Pole barns sell pretty good here because their trucks are to big to fit in the garage.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Ha ha, nice shot at Toyota at the end there, too!

Jan said...

without Hummers how can we tell who has a small penis?

Galt-in-Da-Box said...

Actually, they wouldn't be so bad, if they made one of those freaking land yaghts that would get 75-90 miles a gallon/ran on geothermal energy I'd sign the contract yesterday...Osama bin Ladin wept!
Andy Borowitz is "a diamond among the cinders", and between Pat Condell and him, I'm recovering from the loss of George Carlin.

Nan said...

Love Borowitz.

Hummers weren't just marketed to assholes -- they were marketed to truly dumb assholes. All they were was a GMC Suburban in a different box. Anyone who buys a high dollar SUV doesn't just have a tiny dick; he's got the IQ of a rock.

Anonymous said...

My car broker friend told me that most of his customers that buy Hummers are women.

sageweb said...

hahaha, that is awesome

Anonymous said...

I know a guy who used to drive a Hummer. Would he be an asshole in recovery then?

Galt-in-Da-Box said...

Clinton got one and look at all the hell he caught for it?
No thanks!