FROM SHADY LANE

on a pickup truck with Texas plates, seen driving back from New Mexico.
"Just like the Alamo. Too many Mexicans"

SHADY LANE'S SONG

This was written about Lane back in the 'day'...she says every time she hears it playing in the supermarket she laughs out loud..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fymw5ie9Zd4

MY NEW FAVORITE EXPRESSION

I was emailing Shady Lane back and forth like we do most mornings and I was telling her about Bret Farve not retiring and continuing to play even when he should have retired. People kept telling him to but he wouldn't and now he's playing for fucking Minnesota. (now the important thing to remember is Shady Lane knows jack shit about football and could care less about footfall and only humors me when I talk about football cause she's my friend and loves me.)So after listening to me whine about Bret Farve and the Vikings, Vick and the Eagles, the Cowboys new stadium and I can't afford to go see them play unless I sell a kidney and I can't sell my organs cause I had hepatitis and can't, yadda yadda yadda...I get this email back from her.

BUILD A FUCKING BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT.

What did I ever do before she became my friend 34 years ago?

IT'S FINALLY COLD IN WEST,TEXAS

It's in the 30's..and think it crept down to the 20's...dang...I opened the door to get the paper this morning and Annie usually goes out to eat some grass when I do..she stuck one paw out the door, turned and looked at me and said in cat lingo 'You gotta be fucking kidding ' and came back inside..She wouldn't even go out with her little sweater on...I have to go out to feed the birds..but I will be bundled up really good, wearing my Supergirl Cap that Junebugg sent me for Xmas..I have a little ritual now when I go out the door with it on my head...I throw open the door and go 'TADA'. Makes me feel super...

I am having soo much fun with my scanner/printer copier...and found the pictures I took when I was down in Austin and Kingland while I was taking care of Bolish and Yippy fucking Skippy...I hope I don't bore the shit out of you with all these pictures, but it amuses me and that's all that matters..Not that I don't take into consideration your wants and feelings..it's just that amusing me is more fun..This picture is of Shady Lane and Bolish at the Kingland house.

This one is of Brewster...Shady's terrific husband on the dock behind their house on Lake Austin...He is the best..he puts up with her, she puts up with him..You can't tell but He lost his leg from right below the knee and has an 'unfoot'...he lost it in a jetski boat accident..years and years ago..believe me..it doesn't slow him down a bit..he waterskis, races race carts,does everything he ever has and more...I'm crazy about him...plus he likes me..which is a huge compliment as he doesn't much like Shady's friends..They actually make me look sorta normal...(they're mostly yankees)This is Bolish and Yippy fucking Skippy...nuff said about the dog..Bolish by the way is doing terrific in the new 'home' and sad to say, doesn't remember me much at all..which is ok...I remember him....

This is the view from the right side of Lane and Brewsters house on Lake Austin...I love their little house on the Lake..If I had a kabillion dollars I would buy the lot right next door to them and build a little house..but the cost of just putting in a sewer system is like $100,ooo..they have to be a certain type and they are expensive and they are hard to do as there is limited room..But the view is just fantastic..The Steiner Ranch where we used to live and where we first met is right across the lake..It's now a mulitmillion dollar housing area...where it used to be about 100 people and several hundred rodeo livestock and a few drunk cowboys..Ahh, the good ole days..this is the view of Shady and Brewster's dock..they have 2 docks..Brewster and Lane run their own boat shop..called Custom Fiberglass..If you're ever in Austin, Texas and want your boat fixed, or buy one, or jetski or just bullshit...Stop by...although if Shady's in a pissy mood you might not want to bullshit...She does not suffer assholes lightly.

Ok..that's all the pictures for now..still have ones of little asshole, the apt.and others..but will try and spread them out over a time...

SHADY LANE AND AFRICAN DRUM DANCING

Just about the time I think Shady can't do anything that would either stun, amaze or shock me...she does it..and was stunned, amazed and shocked at her when I saw her at her African drum dance class...Where she was, at 61 at least 30 years older then the person closest to her age.Most were in 20's...andshe was right in there..shaking her booty...jumping, clapping, twisting, turning, more jumping...I lost 5 lbs just watching...Ok..let me explain the whole African drum dance thing..Jean Claude Lessou is the instructor that I got to see teach the class..He's from Abidjam, Ivory Coast and has been dancing professionally since he was 15 years old..He has danced all over the world and the United States..Well, he takes a plane most places but dances when he gets there..He does this really cute little monkey scream when he teaches and dances..sort of an African version of the scream Bruce Lee used to make when he fought..

The class is 1 1/2 hour long..The first 15 minutes is just warming up..and when they got through I said,'if I did that you would be on the phone calling 991 right now.'..then they did 15 minutes of a bunch of exercises..I told Shady, 'that I had been in some of those positions before..while having sex and giving birth..and if I had done those exercises they would be giving me CPR right about now.'...Then Jean Claude came in and starting his class...HOLY SHIT!.. They were doing these leaps and twists and turns and jumps and clapping and it was amazing..and there is ole Shady shaking her ass and jumping up and down the dance floor to save her little Yankee soul..it was just terrific.There were 3 guys beating on the African drums and when they changed beats, the dance step changes.And it went on for a fucking hour...I was sweating and out of breath and all I did was sit on my ass and watch...I was so proud of her and so impressed...she has been doing this for 5 fucking years..and has earned herself a nick name..Sugarmomma..if anyone watches THE PROUDS, a TV cartoon, there is a mouthy old lady on there called Sugarmomma...and they call Lane that now.It fits..to a T.I am going to post some pictures..some of Jean Claude and his classes from different places..I like the schmuck that I am forgot to take the camera and didn't get any pictures...but you will get the idea..All I know is I have an entirely different picture of Shady now after watching her prance her Yankee ass up and down that dance floor..sweating and grinning and twitching her ass...She's my hero..

.......TEXAS ROLLER GIRLS.......

I was very anxious to get back to my little hamlet of West, by Goddess, Texas..but then Shady Lane emailed me the activities she had planned for Sunday night....watching the Season championship between the Hell Marys and the Hotrod Honeys...Roller Derby y'all..!.Hell yes.

The opening band will be Sasquatch and the Sick-A-Billys..half time band will be a local group called Those Peabodys..also have a DJ who will be spinning platters and his name is Net WT. so how can I go home and miss that?..If you want to check it out you can go to txrollergirls.com

Eat your heart out Nit Wit..I know this is right up your alley..you and Leo...

Plus Monday night is Shady's African Drum Dance classes and I have to check that out..she has been doing it for about 5 years and is pretty damn good and want to meet all these people that I have been hearing about for so long..Plus I want to see if Shady's friend Vincent who let me use the laptop can help me find one for my own..as I really do love this ole lap top..then figure I can spend a couple of hundred bucks and get my computers working and keep one for me, one for each one of the granddaughters..

Speaking of granddaughters..Jenny called ..she has been given the run around from the people that were supposed to make her graduation announcement cards..first they were 3 weeks late..then they show up and they have wrong address on them..she calls ...calm and cool...they promise to overnight the correct ones to her..she gets them the next morning and they have left off her first name...she went Jackiesue on them...the guy was so sorry, said he would give her a discount and she said "I don't want something for nothing...I don't want a discount..I want to pay for what you promised to do..your job..You do your job, send me my cards and stuff your discount..."..or words to that effect..hahah...I rubbed it in on her about my Baby Phats shoes...she was cracking up..her grannie has Baby Phats...got her and Jamie's shoe size and going to see if they have their size and get them a pair...She was very excited about me coming home..She bought a washer/dryer and a black leather couch and love seat from her cousin who is moving for $500 and on the route in delivery the couches fell from the truck..so she is convinced that her grannie will be able to 'sew them right up'....ah, yes, Grannie'Wonder Woman'...!

I don't know when I will have time to post again till after I get back home sweet home...so I may not be back on till Tuesday night or Wed. am...will post if I can...after the Roller Derby Championship...Have a great weekend...

.......COPACETIC AND WICKED.......

Those are Bolish's two favorite words....I'll ask him how things are going he'll say 'it's

copacetic'..and if I ask him if if he liked dinner or what ever I fixed him to eat, he'll say it was 'wicked'...He's an 87 year old New Jersey Pollock..who has been in Texas for the past 20 years or so and hasn't acclimated yet..But then Shady Lane still sounds like she just got off the bus from New York and she's been here for over 30 years.

Yesterday I took him for a ride..we went to Marble Falls which was under water a few weeks back from all the rain they had..it's a federal disaster area..But man..is it ever pretty..every thing is so green..there are lakes every where..and full to the brim...It's about 15 miles from here..and on the way back I noticed an old Chrysler that had been redone..so turned around and stopped..It was a restoration place..they had Corvette's, Mustangs, Chevy Impala's, Studebaker's,Model T's, Model A's,and they were beautiful..Bolish said they were wicked.He really enjoyed that.Today I took him to H.E.B. which is a Texas super market and let him drive the buggy..which meant I got to chase after him up and down the aisles..We were both laughing like crazy..Then I took him to Dairy Queen and he got one of those chocolate dipped round boat cones,filled with ice cream, strawberries and drenched with melted chocolate..Oh My Goddess..he was in hog heaven.

He had it smeared all over his hands, face and was making ummmmm ummmm noises..was terrific...He couldn't finish it all so we brought it home and he had it after dinner so he was really happy with that ..I made BBQ chicken, mashed potatoes,gravy, corn on the cob and biscuits..I had fucking salad...My blood sugar is higher then a kite..don't know why..but think maybe it's stress...can stress make your blood sugar go up?...Nitwit?..

Anyhow...tomorrow we are going to go get haircuts..We are both a little shaggy..Saturday we are going to the $ store to get a new flag as his American flag is starting to look pretty ratty..does anyone know how to properly dispose of a flag?
Lane's mom is going into a rest home end of next week...I am going to take Bolish to Austin to Lane for a few days, then go to West and get Annie and Little Asshole..I miss them..plus this looks like it is going to be more than a 2 week job..I told Lane I will stay 2 months...by then I am afraid he will probably have to go into a Alzheimer's place because every day he gets a little bit worse.It is so sad..he will wake up 4-5 times a night and just roams the house..Searching and digging through drawers, closets etc..This morning he said.."I don't know if I'm coming or going"....The evenings are worse ...they call it sun downing ...but I call it the fuzzies..Lane is starting to show some wear and tear from this..I can't imagine how hard this must be for her..so it makes me feel good to know that I can help...and hell, it's not like I have a job or things that have to be done..other then the pussies and the library...what's to do...? The granddaughters have their own life with school and their jobs and their friends .. It's not like I get to see them every week or so..

Hope the library doesn't close while I'm gone.

So I will go home pack up the cats..pay off my bills and then head on back to Austin, pick up Bolish and then settle in for 2 months..Least I have the laptop...There is no way I could do this without you guys...but with the computer and my blogger family..everything is copacetic.

.......SHADY LANE.......

Things are a popping now..I got 3 emails from Shady Lane in Austin..her mom who is 82 fell and is going to be in rehab for her fall and her dad who is 87 is in the early stages of dementia..So I volunteered to drive down and help out..Lane and her husband have a boat shop business to run and her folks live in Kingsland which is a ways from Austin, and she can't leave him alone at her house or at Kingsland and can't leave the shop to do much more than what she is already doing for her Mom..So I will probably go down Sunday or Monday and meet with her..then drive her Dad to Kingsland and take care of them for 2 weeks or so while she tries to get him into a retirement center..either there by Kingsland or by Austin..then when her mom gets out she can join him....Lane is freaking out...but not to fear...Jackie's here..ha..so her friend is supposed to fix me up with a lap top so I won't lose touch with my blogger family..but in case you don't hear from me right away after the 16Th..don't panic..I will try and keep in touch..I have to get one of the granddaughters to come and stay at the apt and cat sit..they will be fine while they are in school during the day, but need to have some one here often enough to feed, water and clean the liter box.will leave them some money so they can buy food as I know they won't cook...I may get them to switch off as I know it will be easier for them..hope the cats don't get them too much of a problem..
I was supposed to go to the library and work for Henrietta when she goes on her vacation to Washington..I had just told her the day before that I would..but now I won't be able to..what a mess...gee ...for someone that doesn't have a life..now all of a sudden I have something to do..I hope this won't be my last post for awhile..I will try and post again before I leave..

.......STOLEN MEME.......

I want you to know..I still don't know what a meme is...but this is one...I stole it from Lavender....it's called an unconscious muttering. It's a free association exercise..oh some shit like that..anyhow..This will give you something to mutter about while the Goddess is answering your questions..
1.Freeze....frame
2.Naturally....fucked
3.Painting....toenails
4.Merits....cigarettes
5.Ironic....redneck/democrats
6.Survival....me
7.Cow....patty
8.Anchor....aweigh
9.sisters....my blogging
10.70....the age I wanted to live to when I was 10...now that I am 63...not so much...

My yankee girlfriend Shady Lane sent this to me:
The smallest minority on earth is the individual.
Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities.....Any Rand...

Ya'll come back and see me..ya'hea?

ANYONE WANT TO DONTATE MONEY TO THE BUSH LIBRARY?

Looks like the only one that is donating money to the George W. Bush Library is.................George W. Bush..
In an article found in my DAM News...it says:
BUSH DONATES $107,440 MORE TO OWN LIBRARY.
'98 governor's race funds push his total above $300,000...by Todd Gillman(Washington Bureau
Washington: Donations to President Bush's planned presidential library are t...r...i...ck...ling in---(my spacing) from George W. Bush himself.
He has cleaned out his 1998 gubernatorial campaign account and sent the last of it to the George W. Bush Library Foundation, a new state campaign filling shows. The $107,440.76 donation, dated DEc. 18, pushed the library's hope chest above $3000,000, all from Mr. Bush and donors from previous campaigns..
(so let me get this straight....................he's been planning the GWB Library since he took office, as that is what all presidents do...and so far they have raised just over $300,000 and it's all his money....Oh happy day...this is hysterical...how funny is that...)
Other donations thta might have come in remain secret.(Who the fuck wants anyone to know that they gave money for a library for a President ..who can't fucking read.)..There is no law requiring presidentail libraries to disclose funding sources, though some gifts do come to light because the donors themselves, in this case, the Governor Bush Committee-are subject to state or federal disclosure laws.
In October, Mr. Bush sent $194,904 left from his 2004 re-election effort. The Bush-Cheney committee reported the donation in early January to the Federal Election Commission.
A search Tuesday of federal records and those filed with the Texas Ethics Commission(what a joke THAT is) showed no other donations to the library...(no doh!)
The site selection committee led by longtime Bush friend Don Evans, has yet to start working to raise money, said spokesman Taylor Griffin. (Yeah, let me see the list they are going to work from...fired, oops, in jail, oops, fired, good job brownie, ooops in jail...)
Southern Methodist University has been the sole finalist for the library since December.(and Baylor University is still pissed..although I am happy as a fat lady with chocolate)
Philanthropy experts and officials at other presidential libraries say donors generally seek recognition. And libraries built by former presidents have voluntarily identified most,, but not all, donors.
"We're at an early stage in a multiyear process, and those decisions will come later," Mr. Griffin said. (yeah, some times between nunyafuckingbusiness and hell freezing over.)"The committee is really focused on the site selection right now and hasn't gotten to the fund-raising part of it."(which has to do with the fact that people are protesting at the site because Bush dosen't want anyone too see his papers...yeah, great library with no presidential papers...and for that matter..no fucking books...oh shit, this is just getting better and better.)
The House of Oversight and Government Reform Committee will hold a hearing this morning(last week) on the lack of mandatory disclosure of donations to presidential libraries..(Hmm...what a great name..the House of Oversight and Government Reform Committee...............where were they when ole George was nominated for President by the Supreme Court and lied his way into the second term?
...fuckity fuck fuck fuck....

Ahh, I love bipping on ole George..he's such a easy target...mabye I'm just in a good mood, because we got rain all night long and are expecting more...I love Texas when it rains...especially in the Spring..when there is always the promise of bluebonnets right around the corner..My little front yard is full of birds feeding from my feeders, and I'm so excited..I have a pair of cardinals...it's not my old pair of cadinals..but they are fat and red and beautiful....
I am still walking with Margaret..every day but Sunday...I don't get out of my BuBu that Shady Lane sent me all day on Sunday...BuBu's are a African dress...with the most beautiful pattern and colors...it comes with a scarf to make one of those lovely turban hats..but since I don't have the puffy afro the African women have..my scarf spends a lot of time on the back of my chair after it slides off my head(this one is sort of like the one I have except mine is dark black with yellow and green and orange.)...Lane gets them at her African Drum Dance classes she takes each week...She is getting better at her solo's and I can't wait to go visit her this summer and see her in action..remember Shady is like 1 1/2 years younger than me..she takes boxing lessons, does (or did) cardio-funk and gave up booze for Lent..so I don't suggest anyone fuck with my Shady lane..she told me in one email she had a lot of pent up anger(she's from New Jersey/New York)and is just itching to kick someone's ass...I have a feeling the next rich yuppy that cuts her off in traffic is going to get a serious bipping...which is actually where I got the term bipping..She showed me the difference between bipping, smacking, slugging, punching and belting ..using my kids when they were younger to do so...I cracked up...Dave, Thom and Mojo weren't all that thrilled with the demonstration..But we have all passed down the bipping ...All I have to do with Jenny and Jamie is say:"Come here."...and they both start laughing and say.."no bipping, no bipping.".
Yup...I'm in such a good mood....fuck me till I giggle..