I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Thursday, November 09, 2006

A TYPICAL TRIP TO TOWN FOR JACKIESUE

I decided to run to the $1 store to get cat food for Annie and when I got there I saw they had some videos on sale, 2 for $5..so I'm looking through them and found two that I had not seen before and thought what the hell..so I put them in my basket, got Annie's food and went to the register, saying howdy to all the people I knew and shot the bull with a few..I get to the register and the girl starts to check me out...and all of a sudden she says"I have to have your date of birth."..what the fuck? "Why do you need my date of birth?"..she said:"The register says before we can sell you this video you have to prove you're over 18."...I look down at the videos and say.."So before I can buy Snatch I have to prove how old I am?" and she giggles and I snort...and she says:"Yes, before you can buy Snatch ..you have to prove your old enough.".."Well, I'm plenty old enough, I was born 11-12-43..so can I have my Snatch now?" by then she and I are starting to lose it and the crowd is getting into it.."I can't believe if your under 18 you can't have Snatch," I say..."I bet the republicans are behind this..having to be 18 to buy Snatch, now that the Democrats are in power I bet you won't have to be 18 to buy Snatch."...this is when we all lost it..eight adults laughing like little kids saying poopoo...we were leaning on each other and wiping tears from our eyes...I finally gave her my birth date and assured everyone I was going to run home and watch Snatch for 18 year olds...
fuckme till they check my ID ..

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow this is to funny. I can't stop laughing!! Only to be in the same line as you!! You made my day a great one once again thank you!!

Anonymous said...

18 is way too young to be buying snatch :)

Allan said...

Heehee- I wish I coulda been there...you crack me up, you young thing!

Hey, very hearty congrats on the 15 years. Kickin' ass!
Don't stop blogging- kill the zombie. There's lots of info on-line.

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/securityfix/2005/10/it_must_be_zombie_season.html

This article has links to free software that might help.

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Nit Wit said...

What was the other movie, Fun With Dick and Jane?
I have had my giggles for the day and it is just getting started.
That picture on the last post is just not right. I may never shower again.
That's worse than getting your tit in a wringer.
Die Zombie Die!

buddha_girl said...

Oh my God, I am SO dying laughing here! I love the use of the word 'snatch' 317 times. Well done!

Ahem...where are the congrats for the grand state of Virginia being the swing in the ahem...right direction (left, left left!) in the Senate? Thank God for voters!

Anonymous said...

Personally,I think Snatch should be issued to everyone at birth...I'm just sayin'..

Mike said...

Hey budda gal, as far as I'm concerned, you can never have too much snatch.

Jackie you damn near made me piss myself.

yellowdog granny said...

Cherlee:thanks for coming by and I'm glad I made you laugh..
Cyberoutlaw:..nah....
Allan:thanks for the congrats..glad you found my 'snatch' story funny..I have to admit..I was home for 45 minutes or better and was still giggling over it.
nit wit:the other movie was 'Closer' and didn't have to be over 18 to buy it..mike sent me the picture of the guy in the shower..it was part of a joke, but I liked the picture better than the joke..and like to think that is where we will have the republicans for the next 4 years or so...
Buddhagirl: yes, I was very very proud of Virginia...that was super cool..and glad you enjoyed my 'snatch' story...
sling:yeah, having to buy 'snatch' is a sad thing..
mike:hee hee..Ahh then my job here is done..

Anonymous said...

You said Snatch hehehehehe.

Sue said...

Hehehe ... :) Headachey so can't think of anything clever to say .. but ya made me smile!

Pixie said...

Too funny.

But if you are 18 and having to buy snatch then what hope have you got at 45.

yellowdog granny said...

Nancy: it is the new word of the week...try to work the word snatch into your everyday conversation as often as you can ...snatch a nap, snatch a movie....snatch a .....snatch...
sue: ooh, headache...go away..!
pixie: or at 63...first time I have ever had to show my id to buy a movie..

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's the Zombie-Blogger wouldn't let me post either. Damn, I had a good rant written up in "Word" and somehow it got erased before now.

Nit Wit said...

Lucky thing you remembered the cat food otherwise you would have to Snatch that pussy, put it in a box and send it on an airplane to a better home.

I'm stealing from George Carlin.
Now I'm done and will go away.

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Naughty. Witty.

jan said...

You really should have a camera crew accompany you when you go out. You are funnier than anything on TV or movies today.

Lauren said...

You can buy Snatch at the Dollar Store??? Why didn't someone tell me this sooner????

Fuck me `til I'm 4 quarters. . .

HUGGSS!!

yellowdog granny said...

june bugg: blogger is starting to suck like blogster.
nitwit:if your going to steal...steal from the best..
pawlie:thanks...I aim to please.
jan:oh no cameras...have a a bad left profile
lauren:the best place to buy snatch is at the $1 store...it's just the right price..

bluebeer said...

The lady at the dollar store said I could have some snatch for $20 but I'd have to wait till she gets off of work. I was going to call Dollar General and complain about over charging and slow service but we ended up sleeping together, never did get my snatch tape, oh well.

cheesemeister said...

That's way funnier than the time when, at age 35, they carded me for buying a pack of cigarettes. I actually had to go back to the car and get my ID before they'd sell them to me. I said "You've got to be kidding. I can understand them checking my ID to be sure I'm 21 when I buy beer, but there's no way I look under 18!"

Carina said...

Ha, that is great....I can see it though. A friend works at a gas station/convenience store...state law says they must card EVERYONE who wants to buy alcohol and theoretically they can lose their license for not doing this...she says she doesn't card most people but anyone who looks under 50 or so, she does even though she feels like a doofus.
Yep, blogger has been hiccuping a lot recently.

princeofbrokenhearts said...

too funny. i have to try to remember that one the next time someone tries to rent snatch...

maybe i'll tell them they can borrow snatch, but not to stretch it out too much... i don't know... something...

Kvatch said...

You know...I don't see the issue. I mean...we've all had Bush in our faces for 6 years now.

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yellowdog granny said...

bluebeer:i think that only happens in oklahoma..
cheesemeister: i think at 62 that maybe a record for having my id checked..
carina: i think blogger is on qualudes..

prince: just make sure they get their snatch
kvatch:hahahah..how true..we have had snatch in the white house...

Tina said...

OMG That is sooo hilarious! I rented Snatch years ago and didn't need an ID. Perhaps if you rent it vs. buying you can get away with snatch at a younger age hahaha

yellowdog granny said...

tina: i think renting snatch is easier to do than actually buying snatch...