BURP..LET PANTS OUT..FART....SIGH*

I am so full!..soon as I got home I took off my bra, my converse,my jeans and tested my blood sugar...183...not as bad as I thought it would be, but it was well worth it...
Jenny picked me up and took me to Red Lobster where we met Jamie and her boyfriend Harrison who is a sweet, funny kid and he adores Jamie and treats her like a princess.Jenny's fella had to work..
..I had shrimp scampi and fried shrimp..with salad, and vegetables..had 2 of the herb biscuits and they were so good I could have wept..I made them laugh and embarrassed them all at the same time...Jenny told Jamie.."we can't take her anywhere."....The waiter who was great by the way...was going to put my platter down and of course my tits are laying right on the table and he was at a loss as to what he was supposed to do..finally I said I would move my tits but they are kinda attached but can arrange them differently..and kind of shoved them under the table..when we were through he asked if we wanted dessert and I said no it would probably put me into a sugar coma, but if he would promise to do mouth to mouth on me, I might consider it..ahh, I love embarrassing the girls...

Besides the terrific time and the wonderful dinner they gave me a huge box of Starbucks assorted teas, a box of Whitman's sugar free sampler of chocolates...(taste terrific)and a little copper buddha wind chime and a buddha for Joy...and 3 great cards...one says your birthday is the perfect time to offer you the traditional hawaiian wish:'may your coconuts never hang lower than your grass skirt.'...(told them my coconuts look more like papaya's)...Then one with an old couple standing by this lake and he is pointing out and says 'and that land mass over there is called a 'stick out' because of the way it sticks out of the water..inside it says another year older, another year closer to making up crap.'
but my favorite is the one with two old gray haired broads in a pink convertible with their arms up in the air and big ole grins on their faces...inside it says:'Pearl looked around for the flag, then realized with horror that the sound was coming from her arm-dangle..'I cracked up...so it was a great day....I loved spending the time with the girls...and I like Jamie's new fella...he's a big step up from the last little prick...
The best part of the evening...was my telling them about my adventure at the $1 store and my Snatch story...I'll telling them, and they are looking at me like 'what the fuck?' and I finish the story and nothing...they are looking at me like I have lost my ever loving mind...and then it dawns on me..I said, do any of you 3 know what the word Snatch means besides to grab something....? all three little heads go 'no'....I leaned forward and said it's a slang word for vagina..
OH MY GODDESS...they were shocked and awed..Harrison laughed when he finally figured it out..but Jenny and Jamie are like..'we could go for the rest of our life and not have had to learn that.'...and a lot of 'oh grandma's...and gross.'...once I knew I had them going I said I was going to start a blog with Annie the little kitty and call it 'big snatch and little snatch'...thought they were going to make me go sit in the car...I laughed so hard...told them I felt like I had failed them by not teaching them the finer things of life..like the word snatch...we were walking to our table and Jenny said..'Well, go snatch yourself a seat.'...is she not a true smartass?....made my night..
I don't even know who won the cowboy game...how about that for contentment..
There is a down side..but there is a upside to the downside..
yesterday son Thom called...(first time he has called since right after Christmas)and said they were going to be out of town on Thanksgiving and were having their Thanksgiving today and did I want to come...? I said,'No..I don't think so'...and he was all er, ah..'well, the girls are going to be there and we just wanted you to know that if you want to come you are invited..' said 'nope, but thanks for asking..bye..'...he said bye and that was in..then the minute Jenny came home he said "guess what, I asked grandma to come and she said 'no'....she doesn't want to come over here..'..so Jenny explained that Grandma doesn't want to go where she's not wanted and she knows you're just asking her as an obligation and you're little kodak moment and why should she come over her for one day..then Christmas and then not hear from you for another year...?'...he said well, I was trying to be nice and do the right thing and if she doesn't want to come..well, fuck her..'...hee hee...and then when he found out I was going to dinner with them, Jenny said she thought he was going to have a fit...'too good to come to my house, but will go eat with you and your sister..well, fuck her.'...ahh, life is good...anytime I can piss off one of my kids..it's ok, with me..then .....oh man...then I get an email from Maryjo...says happy birthday..don't respond to this, but just wanted you to know I was thinking of you on this day...MO..
(hahahah..what a little brat)..which is not what I called her in my email to Babs...ha.
but I had a great time, a great dinner and enough tea to last me through the winter..especially since Junebugg send me a green tea starter kit, with a book on green tea, and a brewer to make the tea with ...sigh*..there is not only a burp and a fart here...there was also a scratch or two to the nether regions...I'm thinking another piece of non sugar chocolate with a cup of white tea with hibiscus ....
So ladies and gentle men...thanks for all the happy birthday's...21 on line and 8 emails..and also thanks for the congrats on my 15 years...now if I could just kick the Dr.Pepper monkey I would be a-ok..nah, right now....I am just perfect....