"Mom, stop pacing the floor, your going to wear out your new cowboy boots."...I could hear my daughter, Maryjo's voice but it was just a humming in my ear..I was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. What was I going to say? Would all my friends be there?..I couldn't stand it any longer..I had to peek thru the curtains.......and yes, they were...Bab's, Denise and Sooner right in the front row..where in the Goddess's name did Sooner get a red double S embossed Red And White tuxido? Will the world know that it stands for Super Sooner?ah, who gives a fuck ..me, Babs and Denise know..Babs looks so beautiful in her new green dress..who knew that she could teach the roaches to sew? And Denise rocks in her dress of many colors. Oh man, this is just going to be nerve wracking, as I still don't know how to thank Toodle's for this great award...and to follow in the glittery footsteps of BWG, well, that is an honor in itself.."Mom, they just called your name....listen to the applause.".....(from the stage...and here we have ladies and gentlemen......our very own winner of the Toodler Award................Jackiesue Denney........)
Ok, I'm walkin out to the stage in my brand new Dallas Cowboy tshirt, brand new jeans and custom made boots with the Dr.Pepper emblem on one and Blue Bell emblem on the other...................and here I am....and what do I say:
"FUCKME TILL I WEAR TOTESACK DRAWERS..."
7 comments:
The best acceptance speech I've ever heard! Where did you put the award?
right next to the refrigerator
Jacki you're kinda like me, you say'em as you see'em, and it doesn'tmean you have to put on airs just because you are wearing new stuff, hahahaha.My mother tried for years to "make me into a lady", you know, lower my voice, be nice to people I don't like and act nice. Finally some years later she looked at me and said "you can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear" and left me alone. Jacki you can say "fuckme...etc. all you like, you are family folks here :) hugz, Linda
That is the best acceptance speech ever in the history of the Toodles or any other award show!!!!!
LMAO!!!
PS... Sooner is aware of the threats from the fire ant "enemy" and has posted a warning...
congratulations! You deserved the award.
LOL! This was definitely worth the wait! And by the way, who is BWG?
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