1,125TH POST

...1,125..That's a lot of posts about nuffin...

Well, some of them have been pretty amusing, and some of them have been rants about republicans, Bush, Evangelical Christians and just stupid people..Some were about me, music and the news..remember those?...Some were about West, by Goddess, Texas...about my kinfolk, my kids, my granddaughters,my dogs, cats,books, movies, stupid things I have done and said..Some were just observations about life in general, and a lot of them were about the Dallas Cowboys and some like this one were about nuffin...

"The devil ain't sorry,

The devil ain't fear,

The devil he ain't even sin or stress.

The devil, I'll tell you,he's loneliness."
by Elma K. Lobaugh........."The Devil is Loneliness."

Which seems to actually speak to a lot of

people this time of the year...You get all caught up with the stories on TV about happy endings, the commercials of all the happy families gathered around the table eating the big family meal, or around the Christmas tree getting the latest phone,diamond bracelet or the brand spanking new car with a red bow on top and you think if your life isn't like that..there's something wrong....If the kids don't get the latest game, Ipod, clothes or toy they think they are being cheated and mom and dad are horrible parents..Mom thinks Dad doesn't love her because he didn't buy her a diamond bracelet from "Jared's"..and Dad thinks Mom can't manage the money. if she can't figure out a way to come up with the cash for the new 48" TV....I'm sure Jesus is thrilled with the way his birth is being celebrated..I feel bad for all those old folks that are alone on Christmas and only have the memories..Think the reason I am mulling over all this is that I went and saw Henrietta at the Rest West Haven today...It was not my finest moment...I went in the room..glanced at the woman in the bed and walked right by her and went to this woman who was sitting in a wheel chair all stooped over and asleep...I bend down to look at her face and a strong voice from the bed said..."You're looking at the wrong one of us."...shit...It was Henrietta,and I stammered and sputtered and felt myself growing smaller like Alice after taking the 'Eat me' pill..Lucky for me Henrietta just blew it off like she does most things and we had a nice chat..She had no hair, but wore the cutest little black beret perched on her head..and she might not look like the old Henrietta, but she was the same..She said she has told them she doesn't want any extraordinary measured taken to keep her alive..she has stopped taking chemo and radiation as it was making her weaker and not doing any good..She said the Dr. read her last test results and she wasn't better, she wasn't worse..she was staying the same..which is good...She can't read as they keep interrupting her with tests, medicine or to take her blood pressure, or check her blood sugar..pisses her off and she said she just quit reading..She was surrounded by pictures of her family and her bibles and rosary's...The grand kids had come by and decorated her door with candy striped paper, a wreath and a garland of candy...It really looked festive...

She said she was doing OK, but that George was lost..He doesn't know what to do with out her and is running around doing all sorts of jobs for people..just to keep busy..

Old age sucks..She's 86 and he's about the same..he is in pretty damn good shape and she was too until this...So...I'm sorta kinda depressed..and you know how I am about me being depressed....I don't get depressed as it depresses me...But I am grateful that even though I am a diabetic I have it pretty much under control and am in good health...I may have a contentious relationship with my kids but I have a great relationship with my 2 granddaughters and

have lots of wonderful friends..and that means you guys...as you are all my family and friends..So at this time of the year I would like to wish you all happy holidays and know that somewhere in West, by Goddess, Texas ...............Jackisue loves you....