I'm a liberal pagan living in West,Texas..yes that West,Texas

Saturday, October 25, 2008



tagged me with the name 6 random things about me..

Bless you my child.

After almost 4 years...I would think every body knows every thing about me including the color of my underwear.

So, I'm sitting here thinking what 6 random things don't you all know about me?

Not a fucking thing..ha!

But I'll give it a try.

1.I can spit. I can spit good. I have velocity and distance. Since I have had this cough and all this gook in my lungs I have perfected my spitting to Championship level. I think it might be hereditary. My great Aunt was about 90+ when I was a kid and every day after school we were supposed to go by her house and check on her..Now most kids wouldn't find spending time with a smelly old 90-year old a fun way to spend a hot Texas afternoon. But my cousin Larry Wayne and I would rush right over there every afternoon...because she could do something we had never seen before. She could spit.

She could spit her snuff and hit all 4 coffee cans that resided in each corner of her bedroom. She was bed ridden and her bed was smack dab in the middle of the room. She'd say:" 'c'mer, watch this." She'd raise her head, pull it back like a grizzled old chicken and spit. Splat, right in that 2lb. coffee can. We'd stand there slack jawed in amazement. She would spit and hit all 4 cans. She was a circus act in flannel. Then she'd lay back down and say:"Get me some coffee."..We'd pour coffee, that had the consistency of sludge in a chipped white mug, pour about 1/2 cup of sugar into it and after slurping it down, she'd tell us to :"go home and do something." And we did. So I think I was just born to spit.

2.I used to write poetry. Some good...some just fucking awful.

One of these days I'll go through 'Grandma's Heart' box and see if I can find some and put it out here for you to snicker and laugh over..My favorite was the one I wrote to a boyfriend that left me for another. I managed to rhyme 'our love has taken it's final lap and I hope that bitch gives you the clap, in one sentence. I was proud...ha.

3.I have a deep voice. I have had a deep voice since I was 2. When I was 6 years old I had to answer the phone "Sergent Roycroft's quarters this is Jackie speaking." Because my voice was so deep they thought I was my Daddy. Inky and I have discussed the fact that we could never rob any business in town. With my voice and his limp, they would know us the minute he walked in and I opened my mouth. Ask Allan, he's talked to me on the phone, he can tell ya..

4.When I was a kid and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I always said the same thing. The catcher for the Brooklyn Dodgers. I could not for the life of me understand why everyone thought that was so funny. My Daddy had always said not to let being a girl hold me back, that I could do anything I set my mind to. So when I finally asked him why no one thought I could be the Catcher for the Dodgers

(I was a hell of a baseball player and could catch and throw better than any boy on the sandlot team we all played on.)

he said that women couldn't play major league ball. I thought about this for a moment then said:"So you lied to me." And walked off. I was pissed for months..months? Hell I'm still pissed off about it. Sigh*

5.I don't let things go easily. I still call trashcans 'crashcans' because that is what Mojo called them when she was little. I still call hot dogs 'yautdogs' because she did. I call all dog treats Uncle Joey's because 33 years ago Shady Lane told me a story about a guy that always gave her dogs treats and his name was Joey so they called the treats Uncle Joey's...So that's what I call them. I still say yafta for 'you have to' and yabut for 'yes, butt'. Mojo and her brothers.."Mom......yafta let me go to the movies." You can't. "Yabutt, all the other kids are going."

When I make a list of things for me to do it says 'yafta list' on the top. I always tell everyone the same thing when they leave in the car..'drive careful'...Has nothing to do with their driving skills..it's just that I want you to drive careful, because I love you and don't want anything to happen to you. When the kids would go to bed and I would kiss them good night I would say "Kiss me good night Eddie, in a squeaky voice."..You'll have to be over the age of 50 to get that one.

6. Last but not least...Once you are my friend..........you're my friend for life. Unless you fuckme over or one of my other friends...You have a life time friend. I'm loyal to the point of stupidity...I like doing things for my friends, cook for them, make things for them, buy things for them, their kids, grand kids, dogs, cats, parents.. Has nothing to do with anything except I love my friends and I want to make them happy...

So.....did ya know that?


Jan said...

Not making it to the major leagues was the biggest disappointment of my life too. When I saw "A League of their own" I wanted a world war to break out so we would have the same chance.

Intense Guy said...

So you got "I can spit good. I have velocity and distance" but do you have the accuracy that would back your great auntie pround?

Tip - avoid using Musinex before the spit championships...


jan:we've already discussed this in length via email..ha..
intenseguy:if you drive by my truck going the other way, I can spit and hit you in the left eye.

rainywalker said...

Pull out the poetry, those that laugh, it will never be a part of their soul. Some may not realize the Gettysburg Adress is considered poetry.

Pom said...

So did he get the clap? HAHAHA!!

Holding a grudge is a scorpio thing - I've got it too!

Wendy said...

my great great grandmother always had a Boston terrier and it regardless of sex was named Joey. So boston's have always been known as Joey's in my moms house and anyone else's house on my mothers side. even my husband and best friends know to call them Joey's. Ah yut, I trained em well.


rainy:oh my friends are too nice to make fun of them..well, except for a few ..ha..
pom:eventually im sure he did, he played in a band..ha
oh yes, scorpio's..we're either your best friend or your worse enemy.
wendy:that's funny, my aunt always had german shephards and they were all called pojo..

Nit Wit said...

Yabutt I still like reading about it.
Tells me there are some things in the world that stay constant. Kinda comforting Yafta have something you can count on in this crazy world.

Nit Wit said...

If I spit I stand a good chance of hitting myself so I swallow.
That didn't come out right...
I'm gonna shuddup now.

Rox said...

Oh Jackie, you are something else, girl! I'd love to read some of your poetry, especially if the sample you provided is indicative of what the rest is like! I'm not a fan of traditional poetry, I like my poems to be gritty! LOL!

As I fellow Scorpio, I totally get the grudge thing. And the loyalty thing. They go hand in hand.

Kulkuri said...

I remember the little Italian mouse saying "Kiss me goodnight, Eddie". It used to crack me up.


nitty:yafta know I never change..I hate change..
rox:yeah, being a scorpio is a very interesting life..best friend or worse enemy..
nitty:i'll teach you how to spit..it's easy..

Heidi said...

Great list! I never would have guessed you had a deep voice. I'd also love to read some of your poetry! Did you write serious sad poems or funny ones?

sageweb said...

I love that...it was fun. I wanted to play in the NBA and my Dad told me chicks can't play Basketball professionally. HE was wrong...but I wish I stuck with the game.

AngelConradie said...

i just LOVE #4!!!

Anonymous said...

I DEFINITELY knew the last one! You're a treasure!