I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

CAUSE THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO

Q: What is christianity?
A: It is the belief that a two-
thousand-year-old jewish zombie
can make you live forever if
you symbolically eat his flesh
and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master,
so he can remove an evil force
from your soul that is present
in humanity because a rib-woman
was convinced by a talking snake
to eat an apple off a magical
tree in a wonderland.

15 comments:

Willym said...

And your problem with this would be?????

yellowdoggranny said...

Willym:Christian zombies ate our pagan holidays and kilt off all the pagans.

Kulkuri said...

Gee, now that you explained it to me, it all makes sense. Doh!!

Willym said...

No I meant as justification for a religion. Makes perfect (????) sense (??????) to me. ;-)

Rox said...

When you put it like that...LOL!

Tina said...

hahaha nice

Happy Holidays ;)

billy pilgrim said...

i once dated a snake and she could talk me into anything.

Jan said...

Nothing can kill paganism. It just takes different forms like becoming an Easter Bunny.

Woozie said...

One of my friends has the middle name Pagan.

Utah Savage said...

Christ on a Crutch! I thought you said you were a Cleric according to Quizzy. Well you sure can lay out the divine order so it makes perfect sense. I've never seen it summed up so perfectly. Nicely done.

TheWayfarer said...

You and Bulletproof Pimp got more in common than you know, YG.

Nit Wit said...

My invisible man can beat the crap out of yours, and he loves you.

yellowdoggranny said...

nitty:actually your invisible man and my invisible woman are great friends and get together often to change water into dr pepper

TheWayfarer said...

First time I heard that song about "The Bible tells me sew" I went out and bought a needle and thread.

Kim E Upton said...

=)