I'm a liberal pagan living in West,Texas..yes that West,Texas

Thursday, February 26, 2009

.......WEST NEWS.......

Doing a recap for the week of West..cause we got some goings on going on..The headlines of the West News is:


Fireball said to be the first to fall in Texas in the century..
Far fucking out. I mean this is the most exciting thing that's happened to us since Scott Posednek's baseball team won the World Series ...
With apologies to Larry Knapek who wrote this article I'm skipping around a little as it's pretty lengthy.
As many area residents are aware by now, a meteor from outer space made a brief appearance in the skies near West on Feb. 15 rattling windows, shaking some buildings and leaving a trail of smoke in the sky.
This was accompanied by a loud, explosion-like sound at approximately 11 a.m. that day which sent many residents scurrying to see what made the noise.(I did not scurry..I didn't even hear it..I have my tv up so loud it could have landed on my roof and I wouldn't have heard it.)
Twenty-year old Tanner A. may have been one of the few eyewitnesses to the meteor as he happened to be standing outside his house on Heritage Parkway when it streaked past.(ok..now for a little history here. Tanner is the son of Sarah and Mike A. which are 2 of my oldest and dearest friends..Mike and I are both Scorpios and used to celebrate our birthdays together...one time we were so drunk we drove his car up on the steps of State National Bank and left rubber on the steps. He and I used to go to the old VFW hall and steal the red plastic number 6 from their address..we did it twice ..and I took them and put them over my bed..turned one of the 6's upside down so it said 69 over my bed..See..I told you I used to drink a lot. Mike and I are also responsible for Charlie Brown's introduction to speed...which is really another story. Mike and Tanner are also members of the Heart Of Texas Snake Handlers Club and I think long time ago I posted pictures of Mike handling a cobra and Tanner sitting in a sleeping bag surrounded by rattlesnakes..another story. I am also the one that introduced Mike and Sarah and they remind me of this all the time....'It's all your fucking fault Tacky Jackie, if it wasn't for you we'd be happy and single.' Sarah calls me 'Mama Eagle' and Mike calls me Tacky Jackie....Tanner and Merissa call me Aunt Grandma.)Back to our story.
"I was standing out on the front porch and heard a wild rumbling. At first I thought it might be thunder, but I thought it can't be that because it wasn't cloudy.(can't put anything past Tanner.)I looked up and saw a bright, greenish light going directly above me. Then it looked like a trail of smoke.
A. estimated the rumbling lasted about 15 seconds and said it shook the house. "It was pretty neat. It was just a bright streak.(Sarah his mom works for the West News..just another bit of news). I thought it might have been something crashing, but I never saw anything land. It was an experience.(he just graduated from the Harley Davidson Mechanics School in Phoenix, Arizona.) Several other people saw it and even found pieces of it. They called the McLennan Sheriff's Department.
Late Tuesday afternoon, Doug Dawn, a physical chemist and an amateur astronomer from Monterey, Mexico, and his team were one of the first groups to arrive(Feb.17) in the are to investigate the meteor sighting. They talked to everyone and confirmed the rocks were meteorites, and received permission to do their own searching.
Within less than an hour, Doug along with team members Diena Sadilenka, a Russian chemist from Moscow and Sergey Petikhov, a Russian paleontologist also from Moscow, had found two more meteorites.(I bet all these old Czechs were freaking out with all the Russians in town........eek..the Russians are coming the Russians are coming....You know?? I see a indy movie here. How the lives of people in a small town of Texas are turned upside down by the crashing of a meteor from outer space.Hmmm, we could call it "It's all that fucking Bush's fault."...)Anyhow that's the big news...Everyone is out scouring the land for meteorites..they even have an ad in the paper offering to buy meteorites....Any day I expect to see a news blurb about Bimbo Hand being arrested for forging meteorites and blaming it on being drunk. Which would explain the 5 DUI's he has gotten over the past years. So what else is going on...Oh..Julia Machac had a big party to celebrate her 100th birthday...and looks pretty good for an old broad.
Kayla Urbanovsky was crowned the new Miss West today at the West Chamber of Commerce Banquet in the Lone Star Hall. The West High School Trojan band is headed to Washington D.C. this summer so every one in town is having Fish Fry's, pancake suppers, chili and stew suppers to raise money for their trip.
We have a new crop of 1015 onions and are selling for .59cents a pound at Community Grocery. And West Food Mart has fresh lean ground beef on sale for $1.69 a pound.(wonder if that is fresh lean ground beef as apposed to stale lean ground beef???)
The old Capital, then Strickly Country, then the Depot, then Jack and Diane's and now Outwest Bar and Grill is having a rib-eye steak special Sunday at 3 p.m.The Bezdek's are having a family reunion.Everyone is encouraged to bring family memorabilia and photos. Most of which will be stuff the old folks brought with them from Moravia or Czechoslovakia.
Lots of homes for sale at pretty good prices in case you'd like to retire in West, by Goddess, Texas. There is a very nice 3 bedroom, 2 bath on 10 acres(yes...10 fucking acres) with great floor plan, beautiful kitchen, extra large garage or shop with unfinished loft, small pond, coastal(type of grass for feed) and paved road frontage for $235,000. Here's one for a country brick home on 14 acres, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, very large country kitchen(means old appliances) garden room,enclosed porch, stock-tank, carport, separate shop building for $290,000. If your interested in starting over in a small town and having your own business, the Village Bakery is still for sale.
Lets see..what else...Jodie Mikula Orchestra is playing at the West Knights of Columbus this Sunday. Southern Fire is playing at Mynar's Bar.
Two deaths...and one new baby. BriAnna Capri Rebernak was born on January 27th, weighing in at 8lbs.14 ounces and 19.5 inches long...And she has a head full of dark hair.The Kucera twins, Jackson and Nick had a birthday. Robbie turned one year old and I saw him at Family Dollar and he's as bald as a billiard ball, but flirted with me and held my hand. Margarie turned 50 and looked pretty cute in her picture of her when she was about 5. West Lumber Co. is getting all their seeds, and plants in..I've been by twice and still don't have their herbs in yet. Said it's too early, but I'm ready to get started. Other than a couple of garage sales, nothing much is going on...
I went by Family Dollar and Michelle said that Inky talked to Inky, but wasn't allowed to talk about the store or any store business. So I'm going to try calling him again. Today in the mail I got a letter from Family Dollar's home office and President thanking me for my 1 year anniversary of working there. Seems they don't know I'm no longer employed with them. Which figures ..I worked for them for 6 months before they had my name spelled correct on my check. They not only had it spelled wrong on my check ..but when they referred to me in any memo I was called me Jennifer...yeah, Jackie..Jennifer...that's pretty close. They start with the same letter. Buttroys...
I was bitching to Babs about being sick and still coughing and it was depressing me and to make it worse...none of my family gives a shit...She had a brilliant idea...write my will and refuse to leave them anything until they all change their last name to Buttroy..Works for me. If I had known they were going to be such Buttroys I would never have fucked their fathers.


Willym said...

very large country kitchen(means old appliances) Love it!

And as for those ungrateful whelps... you send them my way, I'll have a few words with them... plus I now have friends - if you know what I mean - in Sicilia!!!!!

Wendy said...

haha I have connections to the Irish Mob if you like.

A country kitchen aint so bad...ok a country stove aint so bad. Nothing like cooking over a wood fire.

Rox said...

Ooooh, if the Canerdian Dollar wasn't in the shitter again, I'd buy a house in Texas!

Feel better Jennifer!


billy pilgrim said...

a bakery would be nice but i'd probably get pretty fat pretty quick.

Anne Johnson said...

If I saw a meteorite hit the ground, I for fuck sure would never again buy a lottery ticket, cuz that beats all the odds right there.

Sling said...

West is a remarkable place!..What with bands and birthdays and pretty gals and great fiery metoers and all...You guys are havin' all the fun. :)

rainywalker said...

Sounds like a new Roswell to me. You can start making West key chains, etc. to sell to the tourists.You right it will never be the same again.


well fuck...blogger ate my comment..bastid..you'll just have to imagine what witty smart things i said in reply to your comments cause i'm too fecking lazy to do it again..

Anonymous said...

Dear Jenny!

Get well soon.

Please don't disinherit me.

Cousin Buttroy


cousin Buttroy..
you'r in the will.

Heidi said...

She had a brilliant idea...write my will and refuse to leave them anything until they all change their last name to Buttroy

LOL! I'd love to see your lawyer's face when he/she drafts that provision! Hope you feel better!

PENolan said...

I always get a kick out of High Schools that have Trojans as their mascotts. The Marching Trojan Band - all I can think of is 100 marching rubbers.

You should know that Buttroy crept in to my personal vocabulary the last time I was driving in New Jersey, and now I'm using it all the time. Better than Fucktard.

Jan said...

Looks like someone could have a real cottage industry by forging meteorites to tourists.

Forget the leaving the buttroy relatives out of your will. Some judge will just say you were too crazy to know what you were doing.


Rudegirl:i have a good lawyer..he's not surprised by anything i say or do.
pen:it must be the new jersey thing as i have about 4 people that live in the jersey area and they are now calling every one a buttroy..makes my heart glad.
jan:well, hell, every one knows i'm too crazy to know what i'm doing..that's a given..