Terry Lee Liles...

 damn, you guys...you made me weep..

I'd love to be able to laugh and talk with him but he is mostly out of it on morphine..he did know who I was and squeezed my hand and I have been massaging his feet and hands 4-5 times a day. I'll ask him ..you want me to rub your feet? and he'll nod his head..I'll ask him does that feel good and he says yah...I do a lot of weeping in the bathroom..his family is wonderful..3 boys with large family and they are here daily (not the little kids) and are so grateful I am here. I can stay with him and she can get out and get her hair done, do her shopping..whatever she needs to do..make arrangements..and she doesn't have to worry..I stood in front of the locked door and wouldn't let her go til she ate something. I watched her yesterday and she ate hardly anything at all..I told her unless you think you can whip my ass, you're not leaving til you eat something.guess what? she ate..

they are all upbeat..the boys are wonderful..his 2 sisters came last night  and they had a rosary...I sat in and held my goddess necklace..chanting in my head..we all came from the goddess and to the goddess we shall return.

Forgetting that I had  my Leslie Jordan tshirt on that said Love Peace and ah Shit on it....oh well....Luckily no one read my boobs..Priest is coming today..Need to find a tshirt that doesn't offend anyone..I promised I would be good..I think everyone was waiting for me to drop the f bomb..hey I know how to talk in polite company...it gives me a fucking headache, but I can do it. One of Terry's sister(born on my birthday) came up and hugged me after the rosary, noticing that I was rubbing on my goddess necklace..said I am so proud of you..I know this wasn't easy...actually it wasn't that bad..It was beautiful..especially when Terry sat up and starting saying the rosary with them and at the end, made the sign of the cross...I was in tears..he was alert and talkative after they left, I think it really stimulated him and in a good way. He's deeply religious and a good catholic a good man, husband and father..He is a friend for life for so many people. She is just now thinking it's time and letting everyone know and they are all starting to come around to say goodbye. The people that I know I take them aside and say it's not going to be easy..you have to brace yourself and not breakdown cause it's not good for him to see people crying. One guy who he has worked with for almost 20 years came out and said I'm so glad you told me that cause if you hadn't I would have just turned around and ran out of the room crying.

So this has been good and bad...good that I'm here and can be of help not just for Terry but for his wife Beadie and his kids.. I know that he would be doing the same for me...but that doesn't matter..all that matters is I'm here and not going anywhere. 

Talk to you guys later...its foot rubbing time..ydg.