RED HOTS..GET YOUR RED HOT ANSWERS

Greetings my children..my blessings on you and yours..I will continue to bestow my blessings on you and your loved ones, but after this you will have to get them the old fashioned way..during your regular commercial free lives...The Goddess is going to be busy and can't take the time away from Valhalla and the ever growning numbers of warriors..The wars continue and more warriors die, day in ....day out..I have enjoyed my visits with you but duty calls...

Jan wants to know what the winning lottery numbers are for California.Every time I give the Yellow Dog the winning numbers, Loki comes along and changes them.I think he does it to all the numbers, but here goes...11-12-43-13-18-20..if Loki doesn't change them..

Sling is concerned with the growning stupidy of George Bush, the unelected President..and should he be worried...the answer is:YES...YES...YES.

Rainwolf wants to know if they will find Scotty's lost ashes..Scotty's ashes aren't lost,

they are just in outer space..Besides Scotty is playing bones and dice in Vahalla..

Allan wants to know if is worth the $60 to have his Passport expedited and since the Goddess doesn't know what expedited is..I would think it would be worth it..it's only $60.

Cyberoutlaw wants to know what to get for his mother for Mothers Day.That is easy. Time..Your time..unexpected phone calls, little notes in the mail to remind her how important she has been to you.Flowers and gifts when it's not a day chosen by a card company..Take her to a movie, lunch, a nice dinner.Ask her what she would like to do on a special day..Tell her you love her..

Nitwit wants to know why I bother answering questions from Nitwits.Since I only have one Nitwit, it has been worth it..

Finally a question to go out on...The Rube wants to know who has commited more atrocities in the name of religion, muslims or christians.

Starting with the first caveman Brwau crushed his neighbor Kqen's head in with a club because he didn't bow down to his great fire when he entered his cave...God is the winner..but not by much..and no one was around to really keep concise records.But the Yellow Dog said there is a great website called Holy Horror-Atrocities in The Name of God, and she says there is alot of information there for all of you that might be interesting..

This is why the Goddess doesn't want anyone to die in her name or to take a life in her name.

I may be the Goddess of War but it's because you humans know no other way to settle your differences.Life is meaningless to you..which is why the Goddess likes being the Goddess of Love much better...The hippies had it right.

MAKE LOVE....NOT WAR...

Always remember ..the Goddess has you in her heart and in her prayers..

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......

Thor's backside... There I was, blissfully fishing. Enjoying the sunshine, having a brew or two and bam..back to this arm pit of the universe, just to answer questions..Can't you humans figure things out for yourself?..sigh*

If I am going to keep coming back for question/answer time, the least you humans should do is clean up your planet..think green..now ...ask your questions..Oh, yeah..blessings on you..yadda yadda...your kids, yadda yadda, and Goddess be with you..

.......GONE FISHIN'.......

Due to a lack of interest....the Goddess and the Yellow Dog have gone fishin'....The last words spoken by either of them before they hauled ass on the cat driven chariot was "your on your on for now" and "yee fucking haw"....You should be able to figure out who said what....

THE GODDESS ANSWERS ALL....

The Goddess actually had to do some thinking on a few questions this week...I think my brain is still a little foggy from all the celebrating in Valhalla..Loki got drunk and shaved all the fur off my cats, painted the Philadelphia Eages logo on them and last I saw of him, the Yellowdog had him in a chokehold and was stuffing rocks up his nose..she made him promise to take the logo off under threat of a skinning of her own..Like small children those two when they get together.
Donna is overly curious about the 'shatting' habits of midgets..and they do squat..doesn't matter if it's in the wilderness, the desert
or the sea shore...They will squat..
The Yellowdog said she appreciates the fact
that you think she is the coolest 'older'
person you have had the chance to befriend..
But the Yellowdog wants you to know that she
has been this exact person..since she was 4 years old...and expects to be the same when
she is 80..age has nothing to do with it..
she just refuses to change and be 'an older person'...
Cyberoutlaw wants to know if he should buy a lottery ticket..of course you should..but one
a week should be enough..and the Yellowdog
said if you send her your full name and date
of birth she will figure out your lucky numbers...
Buddha_girl is all in a snit over Verizon and wants to know if calling them back and
dropping some f-bombs on them will make her
feel better..probably..but it won't do you any good..I suggest that you put pen to paper...the old fashioned way..no email...just a letter to the company president..and write to him calmly but in stong words, your impatience with his company and the way you as a paying company are being treated...if it works..it works..but if not..I swear to Thor...you'll feel better.
and as for the dry skin...it's winter time Buddha_girl..the moisture is being sucked
right out of your skin..
moisturize..moisturize..
moisturize...
Buy a new pair of white cotton socks..
a pair of white cotton gloves...soak
your hands and feet with a good moisturizer
and
put the socks and gloves on right before
you go to bed...take them off first thing
in the am..do this for about 5 days..and
you will see a differece...once you get them soft,you can usually just apply the
moisturizer in the am and the evening and
should be nice
and soft...
The Great Goddess who made us all, made the snakes with no eyelids..as they have so many enemies..they need to be able to see at all times.The Goddess is always with you and yours Buddha_girl...always with you..
Junebugg wants to know why her work days seem longer than her days off...This seems to be
the most asked questions by you humans..I
think it's because you have chosen jobs
that pay
well, instead of jobs that you would enjoy...maybe this is the time for you to
write that book you have been wanting to write...
Scottish Toodler wants to know..Should she
stay or should she go...I think you should stay...mabye visit...but I like you will
soon have bigger things to fill your life
with then location ....
Nit wit is having posting problems..subject
and time maybe?...I think you should post
about things that you care about..your
favorite author, favorite friend, favorite memory...best toy you ever had...write from
that big lovely heart of your's..you write..
we will come..
Yellowdog said she is sorry about the verifcation and the wait on your comments..
she was going to change it back, but the
troll said she should be burnt at the stake,
so he's still out there lurking like some
heat seeking missle..so until he dies and
goes to Hel...it will have to stay...
The great rube is disturbed by the uncontrollable interest in Anna Nicole's sad life and the fretting of 'who's yo' daddy'
about her daughter..and the lack of fan fare about the death of such a great author like
Kurt Vonnegut
and why no one seems to care..I decided to ask Mr. V himself...he said 'glory doesn't come to one in head lines,glory comes to those you do good things...and the joy that comes from reading his books will be here long after any one remembers who and what Anna Nicole was all about..plus he is sitting around a roaring fire regaling Thor, Odin, Loki and Od with
wonderfull stories..the thunder you may have heard during the last storm was the clanging
of mugs on the table tops as they all yelled
for 'more...more..
more.'
Normy wants to know how fish stay alive while being frozen in ponds...well, they don't..unless sunlight is able to get through the ice..as long as sunlight can pass through the ice, the ponds aquatic plants stay alive. If sunlight is blocked from the pond, the plants will die. After they have died they begin to decompose. This process uses oxygen from the water, the same oxygen the fish need to live..So as long as there is sunlight for the plants..the fish will live..if not ..they will die..this is called winterkill...
Mr. Vonnegut will never be forgotten...not as long as someone reads his books..
Nvisiblewmn wants to know the Goddess's idea of the perfect man....this made the Goddess laugh long and hard...there is no such thing as the perfect man...human or otherwise...even my
great love Od wasn't perfect..but he did have
2 traits that I found most enjoyable..a sense
of humor and stamina...
Cheesemeister is having problems with her website...no joy in mudville..You need to get someone who does this well, like Denise or Pixie..check the Yellowdog's blog roll..they
can help...
So, my funny sweet human friends...I have done my best..hope that I have pleased you...as you please me well..you bring joy and happiness to the Goddess....I bless each one of you...

AT YOUR OWN RISK......ASK THE GODDESS

The Goddess is here to answer all your questions..but brace your self..The Goddess is in a pissy mood...I have had to listen to the Yellowdog moan and carry on about some blood test she took...and the results have set her off on a torrent of wailing and boohooing like some 3 year old....She said she'll never be able to eat red meat again...something about her numbers being 244 and 203...She has set a world record for using that fuck word you humans are so fond of saying...and I quote"First they took away my fucking Dr.Pepper, then my motherfucking ice cream, then pasta and potatoes...now the fuckers are going to take away my red meat..no more fucking red meat..fuck they might as well, just fucking shoot me."...and on and on and on...she just won't give it a rest...I may have to bip her ...

After listening to her all day long, I'm not in the best of moods, so remember that when you ask your questions...Goddess bless you all....

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......

Blessing on you my children...I am here once again to answer each and every one of your questions..I hope that you all are learning to live in peace and harmony..if not I hope your side wins...

..............THE ANSWER IS..............

I hope that my answers please you...If they don't...well, in the early words of the Yellowdog.....get fucked....

Kath, the world is being ran by madmen, so you may have to seek sanity else where. Maybe in a cave, the bottom of the ocean, the top of a mountain, under the covers...I think by 2008 you humans will have had your fill of the insanity and will do what it takes to recover from the past eight years...You mortals are such slow learners. I thought you would have learned your lessons from past wars, but I see it will take something drastic to make you alter your path..Like the destruction of man..I would hate to think you will have to start all over again as slime clotting on the shores of a dead ocean.It won't be the first time.
Sanity.. Kath! One of my favorite subjects..Samuel Beckett said:"We are all born mad, some remain so." Nathaniel Emmons said:"Insanity destroys reason, but not wit."...but I think Waylon Jennings said it best:"I may be crazy but it keeps me from going insane."....George Bush seems to belong to the school of thought from Peggy Noonan, who said:"If you commit a big crime then you are crazy, and the more heinous the crime the crazier you are. Therefore you are not responsible and nothing is your fault." Everyone has their own brand of crazy...sanity is being of sound mind..Personally as a Goddess I find that a little wanting...I want my horses sound, not my mind...
RevJim is concerned with his writing..Jim, you have a great talent..I read your blogs..The only problem I see with your NASCAR blog is there is too long of a period between races and like the Yellowdog says:"The drivers need to be packing." Your other blog is very interesting, but I think more humor is called for..I asked Yellowdog about your political blog for advice and she said...look for the humor...if you don't find the humor in the insanity of the politics, you are lost..
Inspectorguy want's to know who I would vote for..Obama or Clinton.
Goddess's aren't allowed to vote...but if I could pull the lever I would probably wait for Obama and Clinton to cancel each other out and vote for Al Gore. Anyone that cares that much for my planet would make a great president..
Jim wants to know how old I am and how old I feel..I am old Jim...very very very old...I was old when Jesus was arguing with the Rabbi's at the Temple..I was old when there was nothing but the sound of silence...Old ...old ...old...Jim...But I am also young...in the age of the universe I am a babe in arms...
Indians...I love all humans Jim...which means I love Indians. The feathered kind and the red dot kind...Although you are starting to piss me off...and it's not nice (or healthy) to piss off the Goddess...be forewarned...
Bright yeller Gun....the sunshine boy...up to his knees in snow and children..Sunshine needs some time with his mate, away from the snow and the children..I wish I could come baby sit, but I am holding out for BlueBell Ice Cream..Think you should send the children to your mother, in Florida for the weekend..
Bob, the Yellowdog said she found the header in a email and Denise put it up for her...I don't know what any of that means.
Finally some serious questions..Josh wants to know what the most important thing for mortals to do..and what is the secret of happiness and is it even attainable. Humans should spend less time on attaining 'things'..and spend more time loving and being with their family. The Goddess knows....you can not achieve happiness by going into debt by buying a bright shiny new car, or a 27inch screen to watch your movies on..Happiness isn't something that you can find...happiness is what you can be..look inside and be happy with yourself..then true happiness will come to you..Loki is off somewhere trying to come up with another great joke on the world..Bush was his last one..
Lauren wants to know if Dubya is getting dumber...No, he's about as dumb as you can get..Also is concerned about finding the right one...if you had found the right one...you would know it..I do think that you are looking for the right one, when you and I both know ...the right one will find you..
No Tina, I think we have about 2 more weeks of not so great weather and then I think it's behind us..
Nitwit wants to know what the last thing he should do on the first day of the rest of his life..That's so easy.....smile..
Jim wants to know if it's ok to fall in love a second time. As long as you don't make it your last..
Cyberoutlaw wants to know if there is a job out there that will make him a lot of money and one that he won't have to work hard at and not know anything...."run for president"...
Sue wants to know if aliens will ever land on the White House? Sue, I am pretty sure that the aliens gave up on Earth many years ago..They left you so many clues, but you ignored them all..
Ruby Rocks wants to know if a purebred dog will ever sniff his arse.?
Ruby you have the purest dog I could make..and why would you want a dog to sniff your arse?..Is that some sort of punishment for the dog??
Dan the answer to your question is yes, and no Thom Cruise won't run for public office..Why should he? He already thinks he is a high ranking alien..
Cyberoutlaw no one could be worse than Bush...no one..
Anonymous, the answers are yes, no and I am..
Juney, Juney Juney......When you have been with the Goddess all men become great lovers...either that or suffer at the hands of the Blue Cats..The Yellowdog said'nunyafuckingbusiness'....
Jim/Anonymous...I suggest you seek professional help. It's not that the Goddess can't answer your question....she just doesn't give a fuck...Anyone that loves Dubya aka Forest Gump aka George W Bush isn't wanted at the Yellowdog's home away from home...If you think I can punish...wait till what she will bring down on your dotted head..
Kath, Dr.'s and people that work in Dr.'s office usually see themselves as above others as they are in the role of healers...Point to your ass..and tell them to 'heal this'....I can send a cosmic bip to them...
Old Broad....I have been and always will be...Yellowdog welcomes you to her little Forest Gump bashing abode..You are among friends here..except for Jim, and he's on his way out...
Sling, easy answer......humans will be humans...and to err....is human..
apos...you say you have no questions..but I have an answer for your unasked questions.....yes....no...no...yes....maybe...

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......

THE GODDESS AWAITS YOUR QUESTIONS...JUST REMEMBER...NO MATH..

YOU WILL BE ABLE TO ASK QUESTIONS UNTIL FRIDAY AT MIDNIGHT..ANSWERS WILL BE ON SATURDAY...

THE GODDESS HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING

Blessings on you my children....I am here,along with the Yellowdog to answer some questions for you...I hope that I will be able to enlighten you with MY wisdom and her sense of humor.
So, lets get right to it...

1.Jeremy wants to know why do fools fall in love? Because they don't know any better Jeremy, but with age comes wisdom and soon they will know better...They will still fall in love but at least they will know what to expect.Back in my day when someone broke my heart, I tied him to the wheels of my chariot and my blue kittens hauled his ass to Hades..It's not nice to mess with the Goddess.


2.Sling would like to know what's really going on and that's pretty basic Sling.Live is going on.Life goes on with rhythm and a good solid beat. It's easy to dance to if you get it right.Be a dancer Sling...enjoy life..


3.Apos would like to know if she is going to pass her physical to get her green card so she can come to the United States to be with her "Little Fat Bastard." Only if you stop huffing and puffing on that strange grass you humans find so desirable...You'll be able to smoke that stuff soon enough..I know that(hey, Yellowdog...what's the word I want for her neighbor?...oh, of course.)asshole that lives by you is hard to take even in small doses..but you can smoke pounds of that stuff and he's still going to be an asshole.


4. Oh, dear!..Zero has more than a few questions and all seem to be about women..Why is it you men have so much trouble with your women? I don't think Thor or Odin would put up with what the modern man puts up with..Alright Zero,the reason why all the women you fall in love with are crazy is because you are to young to be falling in love..You're not experienced enough to pick out the good from the bad..So you go for the one that will make you miserable..Patience my dear Zero, the one for you will come when you stop seeking her.No, she doesn't love you...but when you least expect it..the right one for you will come..


5.Nitwit, my you humans have some very strange names..but this one seems to be one of the Yellowdog's special friends and is concerned about some complete moron getting elected to the Presidency..Well, this I can tell you..the current President is not a 'complete moron'...I don't think he's capable of being a complete anything..except a complete asshole..I really do like that word...I always liked bunghole but asshole seems to fit better in this case.

6.Ruby...ah yes, Ruby..the man with the lovely sweet misunderstood dog..Ruby is concerned that a man named Kinky Friedman lost an election and that all dogs in the know must have voted for him..Which is part of the problem Ruby...dog's votes don't count unless your a republican..Then they count.Like Yellowdog told him, 'It doesn't matter if you have good intentions, if your head is up your ass.'

7.Flo: This lady is concerned with something called fonts, size and color of this blog. This blog belongs to the Yellowdog and she seems to be pretty content here with things as they are...and I don't see how that should concern me..But I did go to the place where you call home...with the exception of a picture of a very pretty human baby, I think that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
next.......

8.Cheesemeister just wants me to know she is happy with the Yellowdog and says she is a wise-ass..Yes, Cheesemeister most parts of her are very wise..Except for her vagina.it's made some serious mistakes over the years..

9.Cyberoutlaw: My you humans are very concerned with who's running for President and other offices...maybe if more of you had voted you wouldn't be in the mess you are in..But no, Nolan Ryan should not run for president..Yellowdog said for me to tell you that "just because he can pitch a perfect game, doesn't make him presidential material..'

10.Allan wants to know who is stalking him...Why, me of course.You are a very interesting person Allan and I like the music you play on your radio...Yellowdog says.."check him out."

11.Jan, Jan, Jan. You sure do ask some personal questions of the Goddess..I lost my virginity to my husband Od...who disappeared on our honeymoon...I was distraught and I wept and wept and wept..Finally I put on my falcon coat and flew around the world looking for him and found that one of the jealous God's had punished him by banishing him to the sea. By the time I got to him he had been turned into a horribly disfigured monster and soon after some one killed him...This was unexceptionable to me and I insisted that he be allowed to go to Valhalla even though he had not died in battle..I am allowed to make visits to him of a sexual nature, if you get my meaning, so even though he is dead, we still kept up our relationship.Of course he respected me in the morning and respects me still. I am the one that made it possible for him to enter Valhalla ...plus, as Yellowdog might say"I'm a great piece of ass."

12.Oh sweet Pixie..Why are we here?....You and the rest of the humans are here for my amusement..you do make me laugh so...like the time you learned how to ride your bike..that was great fun..

13.Buddha girl, who is named after one of my great friends...The Buddha...sends blessing to you all and to the little red headed man child named in his honor. Buddhagirl, you will most assuredly chase down that asshat and no you will never be able to put those drops in that child's eyes with out sitting on top of him...He's a strong willed man child who is not going to be easy to harness...The Yellowdog wishes that you and the redheaded boy would come down for some Czech festival that is held at Labor Day..Something about 'booging till you puke'...sounds like a pagan ritual.

14.Jblue wants to know if the aliens built the pyramids. Why is it when something wonderful and beautiful is discovered you want to find someone else to credit for it?...No, man kind build the pyramids..and all the other wonders of this world...You humans don't give yourself enough credit..
The aliens did make Bill Gates though..

15.Kath, if the weekends were any longer, you humans would never get any work done.You need to get up earlier, that might help..Why is yellow? This is a direct result from your humans...our word for yellow was 'Yegostrnofthsun'

16.Cyberoutlaw, is intersted if the state of New York can whip the ass's of the state of Texas..Yellowdog wants to answer this one....she says:"fuck no"...

17.Mimi is a very funny girl...She wants to know why you say 'take a shit and take a piss,' when you are actually leaving a shit and leaving a piss.' Hey, you humans made your language, and changed what the Goddess had written. You're the one that changed yellow from yegostrnofthsun....you made up some very strange words...I mean really ...'w-bn 'nk hmjt 'zt b-kl qsjt 'l gblm b-mqmm...that is Phoenician by the way..Who talks like that?...Mimi...it's up to you to start the change...next time ...tell people...'I'm going to go leave a shit, be right back.'...Every journey starts with one step...or a shit in this case..

18.Toodles is asking a question for her sister...another question about your President...Oh Thor!...You're president can't write a book ...in any form...it would take an entire storm of ghost riders to write his life story..Besides, who would read it?...She also wonders if he will be here till the end of his term..Unless your party of democrats grow balls, he will be here till the end..
Happiness....happiness is not hard to find...but you humans have become spoilt, you think owning things is the key to happiness. It's not..You spend so much time working to make money to buy things to make you happy that you have forgotten why you are here in the first place..To make this planet of your's a better place for the ones that come after you..Take pleasure in the world around you ...if it's not to your liking then you must work to change it...I made you so you would bring me joy..and being joyful does that..Owning lots of shinny toys shouldn't make you happy, making this planet a safe and clean environment for your children and your grandchildren will make you happy...and then..I will be happy.


19.Tina tossed in a question at the end of the night. Bush will get impeached in your democratic party decides to do their job...but I don't think they can agree on anything so things will probably go on as usual.
When you die....if you are good you come to my house...if you die in battle you go to Valhalla, if your bad...you go to Hades..easy peasy...
I must go now...one of the duties of being the Goddess is escorting soldiers who have died on the battle field into Valhalla, and thanks to your President I have many brave soldiers to tend to...

My blessings on you my children...make me happy...be joyful..

and don't forget to vote...


the Goddess has left the building..

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......

Ask me any question....I have all the answers...If I don't know the answer I will consult my aide-de-camp, the great and wonderful Yellowdog (aka-Jackiesue)..She has terrific insight and intuition and a line of bullshit you wouldn't believe..

MY BLESSINGS ON YOU MY CHILDREN AND ALWAYS REMEMBER...VOTE..

I E-MAILED THE GODDESS....

She said not to worry...Anna Nicole and Marilyn were currently at the spa getting a manicure, pedicure, and their roots done...Then they were going to go shopping for new frocks,something low cut and skin tight....They had a date later on in the evening with the Kennedy brothers....Death don't suck...