FEARLESS LEADER?

shady lane sent these to me..
made my fucking day!

STUMBLE HERE ...STUMBLE THERE..

NO SHIT!

THREE YEARS.1 MONTH 2 DAYS

Happy Anniversary to me...happy anniversary to me...

I started this blog(over on the other place) on March 12th, 2005...In some ways it seems like it's just been a short time and other ways it seems like I've know you all for fucking ever...I know your husbands, I know your wife's, I know your kids...dogs and if you like your in-laws or not..I've lit candles and prayed for some of you at least once and most of you on a weekly basis..

I've talked to some of you on the phone, sent and received cards and gifts. Sooner came to visit, and Babs moved in the apartment complex where I live. This Labor Day Weekend I hope to have at least 6-8 people down to see me, the fest and my fair city of West, by Goddess, Texas. Some of you are my neighbors here in West, some of you are kinfolk, and one of you has been my friend since we worked together in the early 90's. But in many many ways..you're all my family...as I have taken you to my heart and love you like you're my mine..

So...thank you very much for dropping by my little home sweet home away from home these past 3 years...You've made it a wonderful time for me and I Thank you for being my friend....

AND THE GOOD NEWS IS:

Former attorney general Al Gonzales, who was forced to resign last years, can't find a job....He's put out inquiries but hasn't found any takers..He left office in August with his hat in hand and ass in a sling. He was up to his ass in alligators after being involved in the dismissal of several federal prosecutors and the truthfulness of his testimony about a secret eavesdropping program.

He hasn't had a full time job since he was booted out of office..His only income has been from giving a few talks at colleges and before private business groups.. He's still being investigated by the the Office of the Inspector General of the Justice Department.

well.....boo fucking hoo....what goes around ....comes around...see what happens when you let ass kissing become your primary focus...not to mention being a fucking liar..ahh, life is good..

BLOG #3 YOU HAVE TO CHECK OUT

http://bluebeerriver.blogspot.com/
This is my ole buddy Tex...from Oklahoma..it's a long story ....He and Sooner and Babs and the rest of us are all rejects from the old blog place, who's name I won't mention..don't want to give them any advertising..them bastids...Tex started out as Texlahoma and then discovered Blue Beer...I guess, never have been sure why he switched...but I would like him no matter what he called himself...He's funny, redneck, smart, and has a great pit bull dog named Bob...I'm crazy about Bob..Bob and Ruby are my 2 favorite dogs on line..Tex does a lot of political stuff, and some silly stuff, and blasts from the past...and he's for changing the laws on marijuana, so that makes him very smart in my book...He has another blog that is about conspiracies. They make me think..they make me wonder they make me think there is more to it than just a conspiracy...mabye like they could be true?....Scary stuff..makes me want to go kick someone's ass..but never Tex's...he's my buddy...I'm hoping that when Sooner comes down for Westfest that Tex and his wife will be able to come down with him..that would be soo cool..so...go check out my buddy..try him..you'll like it...

DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN

West Public Library is having their annual book sale and Nancy who believes in the adage of $1 in the hand is worth more than $100 on the shelf, broke down and is selling all of the books Miss Henrietta has been stock piling for 25 years...holy shit..I spent $31.50 plus the $5 to be a friend of the Library...wait till you see what I got..

1.Down to Earth at Walden written and Illustrated by Marilynne K. Roach..worth aprx.$25.

2.The Gangs of New York an informal History of The Underworld by Herbert Asbury...worth..not sure..

3.A Short History of Rome and Italy by Mary Platt Parmele worth $15-$20

4. The Russian Alphabet Book by Fan Parker..aprx.$5

Around the World With a Camera. Leslie's Photographic Review of the Great War...worth from $100-$200

5.Martin Guitars a history by Mike Longworth(autographed in 1975 by the author...don't know worth yet..will google.

6.James Thurber 92 Stories..worth $25

7.The Crisis by Winston Churchill

8. Little Pictorial Lives of the Saints with a foreword by L.El Hostlot,Rector saying the Pope loved it..Pope Leo XIII that is.

9.Soldiers Three. The Story of the Gadsbys in Black and White by Rudyard Kipling.

10. Washington's Farewell Address and Webster's First Bunker Hill Oration..worth about $15

11.The Natural History of The Southwest edited by William A. Burns worth about $10

12. New Worlds. In Search of the Planets (including the Latest Uranus Discoveries).Heather Couper with Nigel Henbest worth about $10-$15

13.paper back copy of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang by Ian Fleming.

14.Sybil, or the Two Nations by Benjamin Disraeli.

15. Don Quixote for Young People..written anew for young people by James Baldwin.

16. The Old Oaken Bucket by Bellamy Partridge

17. The Best of Clarence Day including God and My Father, Life with Father, Life with Mother, This Simian World and selections from Thoughts Without Words.

18. Comes the Comrade! by Alexandra Orme.

19. Shared Dreams Martin Luther King, Jr. and The Jewish Community.

20. The Real Jewish Worth by Stuart E. Rosenberg

21.Clues to Americans Past by the National Geographic Society.

22. The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain

23. The Red Balloon by Albert lamorisse.

24. Vanishing Species by Time Life Books

25. All Out For the Sack Race! an album of cartoons by Robt Day

26. The Greatest Thing in the World by Henry Drummond

27. copy of the above ..different printing.etc.

28. As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

29.. A Loser is..... by Charlie Manna and Bill Majeski (I collect books on humor and by humorists/comedians, etc.)

30. The Roof Of Africa by David Coulson.

31. The World's Vanishing Birds by Cyril Littlewood

32. A Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne.

I'm so excited I don't know if I should shit or go blind.

I love books...and some of these books I have been wanting to get my hands on for years...When I walked out of the library with the 2 boxes of books..I could hear Miss Henrietta spinning in her grave..

I have Sunday off, and it's not supposed to rain..don't get a day off till Wed. but that's ok with me.. I like having Sunday off..Sunday and Monday's were always my days off, that way I could watch the Cowboys if they played on Sunday and if they had a Monday night game...

I told Thom I wanted to ask now before everyone else got their request in for Labor Day Weekend off as I am having guests coming down for Westfest..He laughed and said you will have probably quit by then or killed James and be on trial for his murder...I have made a habit of zinging James at every chance I get..and he just laughs...He said he wouldn't get a raise again for about 2 years. I said and the rate he was going...it'd be 3 years..

Then yesterday he was giving us a litany of video games he likes to play...I said well, now it's official, your a geek.

He just laughs and laughs...Thom and Inky are just shaking their heads...Thom has actually gone out of his way to schedule us on different shifts as he's afraid I'm going to snap and bip him into a coma. But not to play favorites I had to zap Inky too. He was drinking this God-awful jolly rancher drink and I looked at it and told him it looked like cinnamon douche..

The machine that you use your credit card on takes for fucking ever to work...After waiting and waiting and waiting, it finally popped up..I read it and said to the lady .."Well, your credit is good, but you have an over due library book, and it's time to take your dog in for his shots."...I like amusing my customers...Some one will come in and ask where something is...like the round cake pans..and I will tell them it's in the round cake pan department..

Did I mention I get tomorrow off?...sigh*

Maryjo has called twice in two days to inform me that it's 87 degrees and she's sweating..People in San Francisco are freaking out over their 'heat wave.'...It's been in the 80's here too...and thank the well endowed Goddess, no rain is forecast...

My ass is dragging....bu'bye

oh ...almost forgot ..the Lady Trojans are in the playoffs, and areunbeaten in district..and the boys are in 3rd place so far...we're bad...yes, we're bad..We also had our annual Bluebonnet Run last Saturday which is when all the owners of Cushman's race around town...

We also had a Main Street cleanup for down town..Every one came and cleaned up 4 blocks of Main Street. Picking up trash, weeding, planting flowers, etc. Eventually they will do the entire down town area...I was going to help but that is the day I worked at the library...

Plus April 15th at the West Community Center the West area democrats are having a grass roots meeting..I keep meaning to go and never do and have to work till 8 that night so don't know if I'll be able to make it..so many things to do....so little time...

TV GUIDE COVER

I got one of those put yourself on the cover of TV Guide's sexy's cover and thought oh, what the hell...I don't look like this any more anyhow..

Add a lot more weight, change the hair to blonde, a bunch of wrinkles and tada..it's moi...well, the smile is the same..Wish I still looked like that...skinny ass and all..

JOHN MCCAIN

John McCain's temper is well documented. He's called opponents and colleagues "shitheads," "assholes" and in at least one case "a fucking jerk."...
Three reporters from Arizona, on the condition of anonymity, also let me in on another incident involving McCain's intemperateness. In his 1992 Senate bid, McCain was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, as well as campaign aide Doug Cole and consultant Wes Gullett. At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." McCain's face reddened, and he responded, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt." McCain's excuse was that it had been a long day. If elected president of the United States, McCain would have many long days.

LOOK...MORE STUMBLES...

Ok..I swear I'll stop doing this and post a real post..but I have another day off coming and still trying to finish up my fecking laundry..plus I have been playing Farmer Jackie...Ps...I'm not good at it...

cookie moster.....

BACK AWAY FROM THE VAGINA

I know I should be ashamed of myself for laughing my ass off at this article...but I'm not..I say...it's about time women in danger of being raped have the means to protect them selves other than mace or the ole knee to the groin..I don't see being able to buy this device here in America..but I bet if the assholes who rape women knew that this device was waiting for them in their rape victim..they might think twice about raping them..

A rape victim once wished for teeth "where it mattered". Now a device has been designed to "bite" a rapist's penis. The patented device looks and is worn like a tampon, but it is hollow and attaches itself with tiny hooks to a man's penis during penetration."We have to do something to protect ourselves. While this will not prevent rape it will assist in identifying attackers and securing convictions," claims Sonette Ehlers, inventor of the device.Not everyone, however, is convinced of its usefulness. Lisa Vetten, of the Centre for the Study of Violence and Reconciliation (CSVR) says: "It is like we are going back to the days where women were forced to wear chastity belts. It is a terrifying thought that women are being made to adapt to rape by wearing these devices.
'It is a terrifying thought that women are being made to adapt to rape'"We should rather focus our energy on changing men's mindsets and behaviour towards women." Ehlers, of Kleinmond, who has worked for the South African Institute for Medical Research, said she had been seeking a way to help women since meeting a rape survivor 20 years ago who commented that she wished she had teeth in her vagina. "Over the past three years I have been working on this device. It is now completely safe and ready to be manufactured and distributed," she said.It had been designed with engineers, gynaecologists, psychologists and urologists. It was "hygienic - no human hands will be involved in the manufacture".In the event of rape, the device folds itself around the rapist's penis, attaching to the skin with microscopic hooks. It is only when the rapist withdraws that he will realise the device is clamped around his penis.
'He will have to be put under anaesthetic to have it removed'"Its design will also go a long way towards lowering HIV infection as semen is contained in the device ... as well as preventing sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies," Ehlers says.As it is impossible to remove the device from a penis without medical help, hospitals and clinics will be able to alert police when assistance is sought."This will rule out any possibility of the rapist's escaping arrest and speed up conviction." If the rapist tries to remove the device, it will only embed itself further."He will have to be put under anaesthetic to have it removed. He will not be able to leave it as he will be unable to urinate." A woman would have to wear the device every day. "We never know when we might be raped. This device should become a part of every woman's daily routine, just like brushing her teeth." Last year, there were 52 733 reported rapes. In a study, the Gender-Based Violence Programme at the CSVR analysed 162 rapes in Johannesburg's inner city and found that one in four had been a gang rape. The study found that 56 percent of the victims had been raped by two men and 23 percent by three.Although Ehlers is optimistic that the device will go a long way towards reducing the high incidence of rape in this country, rape organisations are not so sure."Women would have to wear this every minute of their lives on the off-chance that they would be raped," Vetten says."I am concerned at how normal rape has become that we would even consider a device like this."Chanaz Mitchell, spokesperson for the National Network on Violence against Women, says although it is a good idea for women to protect themselves, men should take responsibility for their actions."We still need to focus on men as perpetrators of this heinous crime."Mitchell is also concerned that the device might lead to further violence against victims."Once the rapist realises this device is attached to him, he is more than likely to take his anger out on his victim."Mbuyiselo Botha, spokesperson for the Men's Forum, said anything that could empower women should be welcomed. "I would encourage my wife and two daughters to wear this device. It would send a signal to would-be rapists that they won't have it easy."Ehlers intends launching the prototype next month."It will be available at supermarkets, chemists, anywhere where one would be able to buy tampons," she says.The device is to cost R1 and also be available in bulk packs.

THE GOD'S ARE BORED #2

I know that I have recommended her before but not strongly enough....Anne Johnson at the God's Are Bored is the smartest, funniest people I read..She never ever fails to amuse me, stimulate my brain or stun me...She's a smarter funnier version of me with all the rough edges smoothed out..If I were the type to have live hero's...she'd be the one...usually my hero's are dead and buried..but Anne is alive and well....She's a pagan who lives in West Virginia, who loves and defends the hill billy residents of her beloved state.. She has 2 kids...the Heir and the Spare, who are little pagans and smart and snappy just like their mother..Plus..she's a water connoisseur...take THAT..She is also responsible for my RoadKill Cafe Sweatshirt...which I love..She is so much smarter and funnier than me, that if I wasn't so assured of my status as the resident smart-ass...I'd be a little afraid to send you to visit her as you might not want to come back...It just doesn't get any better than her blog..check her out..you won't be sorry...
http://godsrbored.blogspot.com/

MO' STUMBLING...

anyone recognize amy?^

chezebugga...chezebugga

Well, fuck...my 2 days off is coming to an end...Yesterday I swept, swifter mopped, dusted, vacuumed, cleaned bathroom, cleaned kitchen, cleaned stove, planted my peppers and Japanese eggplants and read...didn't leave the house...would have slept longer than I did but Margaret decided to come wake me up...so as politely as I could I let her know that I work now and since I have to smile, chitchat and be cheerful, the last thing I want to do is do it on my day off...especially at 9am in the fucking morning..and I really didn't want anyone coming over before noon time as I am really starting to cherish my time off and like my solitude...maybe I shoulda been less polite..as she came to the house this am at 10:45..yes, normally I would have been up, but I wasn't and would probably still be sleeping (my ass was dragging after all the cleaning from yesterday)if she hadn't beat on the fucking door...I refused to answer it..but I was still fucking woke up...2 fucking days off and she wakes me up on both days...So I hauled out my chalk board and wrote:NO VISITORS, YES, THIS MEANS YOU..THANKS JACKIE.

It's been up maybe 5 minutes and Claudette from next door comes over to show me her face where she fell last night...excuse the fuck out of me...does this look like a face that gives a fuck?...Knock off the 6-pack night cap Claudette and you won't be falling on your face. Tomorrow when I see her go by the apartment I am going to go give her a bit of news..."Margaret, do you know what I have on my desk?..........it's an alarm clock, and when I want to be work up...I'LL SET THE FUCKING ALARM AND LET IT WAKE ME UP. Until it breaks and I have to buy a new one...I DON'T NEED A FUCKING WAKEUP IN THE MORNING."....is that too harsh?...I can only hope..I don't want to hurt any one's feelings...but you know what?...It's a dirty job..and some one's gotta do it..

The highlight of my day today is Bold Springs Baptist Church made cheezebugga's today...Called Babs and got her order, called work and asked if they wanted anything and then went to Bold Springs Community Center to pick them up..Did I ever mention that Bold Springs Baptist Church is the black church?...I told you it was 1957 here..They have their own church and community center.

They also make the best cheezebugga's around..It's the only food that I eat that I won't share with Annie..and it pisses her off...

When I talked to work to get the chezebugga order I talked to Thom and he asked me how my days off were, said all I did was clean yesterday and if it didn't get cleaned...fuckit..it was staying dirty..I told him I would be down to get the money for the chezebugga's as soon as I squeezed my tits in my bra...he was still laughing when I got to the store...and Inky got a hair cut and bleached his hair the same color as mine...I cracked up...Now we look like mother and son..I wore my Late Show online tshirt and to be cute I put the little round stickers that adhere to your clothes of Obama '08 right on each one of my boobs...right where the nipples would be...Figure that would be funny...except after I left the store I forgot to take them off and wasn't till I got home that I figured out why all the stockers at West Food Mart were doing double takes of me when I walked by..

It's official...the world is going to hell in a hand basket..I flipped thru the tv channels and there's ole Oprah...and who's she got on the show?....A woman who had a sex change to become a man and then got implanted with sperm so she is now pregnant..Judas fucking priest...you know as many children out there that desperately need some one to adopt them, and some asshole decides to do this just so they can get their 15 minutes of fame and be on the Oprah show just chaps my ass..and I have a lot of ass to chap..someone should bip that Dr. and take away their license...She wanted to be a man, fine, I'll all for that...I think that's her/his decision and no body's business, but if she didn't want to be a woman but wanted a baby, why didn't she do it the old fashioned way and then have her operation..She gave up her rights to do 'female' things when she became a he..or am I wrong...? Hell, who knows...

fuckme till I grow balls..

STUMBLEUPON....

I can't help myself...but soon as I saw this I knew I had to pass the word on about the newest religion...I may convert...maybe be a dudette?...

Come join the slowest-growing religion in the world - Dudeism. An ancient philosophy that preaches non-preachiness, practices as little as possible, and above all, uh...lost my train of thought there. Anyway, if you'd like to find peace on earth and goodwill, man, we'll help you get started. Right after a little nap.First, you might want to get ordained as a Dudeist priest.If you like, please visit our new store.
(c) dudeism.com. all rights reserved. illustration by Colin Cotterill

5 BLOGS YOU HAVE TO CHECK OUT #1

http://briteyellowgun.wordpress.com/
I received another one of those You Make My Day Awards, which I love...that's 2 now...and part of the deal is you pick 5 blogs that make your day and link them so other peoples(you guys) can check them out...I did that before...but now I really want you to pay close attention and really go check these folks out...I know, I know you already have to many blogs to read as it is, and you don't want to bother with any more...Well, trust me on this...these 5 will be more than worth it..Hey, I didn't steer you wrong about The Name of The Wind did I ?.....
So the first one is one (going to do them one blog per post, so I can really tell you all about them.)that I have been reading since I was at the old place..before we all got kicked off for various offenses...Mine was for saying fuck every 3rd word...my final post over there was "adios mother fuckers"...anyhow....It was me, Babs, Sooner(who no longer blogs and for you who never got to read him, you missed a very sick and twisted person writing sick and twisted posts..which is why he was my favorite, still remains my good friend and is coming down for Westfest and will be his second visit to West..Babs, Sooner and I plan on ripping West a new one..the big three....run, run for your lives..)Nitwit, Ruby, Nancy, Tex, Kevin, Rocky, and some others who all came over here about the same time..Every one knows that I'm mad crazy about Nitwit and Ruby...Tex is my lil' buddy and Rocky and Nancy have been here and gone several times...But ole Kevin...I love ole Kevin...what to say about Kevin to get you to go visit him...he's very smart, very funny and tells the greatest stories ever..He and his partner R. have 4 adopted children, who were abused in ways that should never happen to a child..They have given them the best that they can offer, and that's a wonderful life..They are absolutely the greatest parents..Brad and Angela Jolie should be these kind of parents..I'd rather be adopted by Kevin than the Jolie-Pitt's...He lives in Cleveland, Ohio..they moved about a year ago from North Carolina and Kevin calls it Paris of the mid-west...He's got a wicked funny sense of humor and when he gets pissy because no one is commenting, he is hysterical..calls us fucking retards and threatens to kill us all...I love it when he gets pissy...At one point he was going to quit blogging as he thought he wasn't contributing anything worthwhile..I sent him an email and told him that my granddaughters were a little iffy about the whole gays getting married thing and then I told them about Kevin and R. and what they had done for those kids, the life they were giving them, the love they had not just for the kids but for each other (been together 18 years)and had them read some of his posts...He completely changed their entire outlook on gay marriages...and now are pissed because they can't get insurance or get a break on their taxes because they are gay..They are pro gay marriage now..and it's because of Kevin...so go check out my friend...I think once you go there, you'll have plenty of reason to stay.
Some how I linked it at the top of the post and can't figure out how to move it down here...oh well, we all know how adept I am at thingies...

MY TITS .......

are having a race with my ass to see which is going to make it to the floor first...Tada..I have 2 days off...In which I will dust, sweep, swifter mop, vacuum, clean liter box, clean bath room, clean kitchen, clean living room, clean bed room, plant flowers, plant veggies, feed the birds, clean off the front porch, do 317 loads of laundry, go to the library, and suffer a small, noticed by no one but the cat and possibly Babs, nervous break down.

But first I have to plot my revenge...against my dear friend Babs..who to get even with me for buying her the soul sucking gnome and calling her a pussy, put a red pooh shirt in amongst all my red t-shirts.. am I the only person that color coordinates their t-shirts..? The day I went to the convention I thought about dressing nice and looking professional, and then I thought .? Who the fuck am I kidding...So I wanted to wear one of my West, Texas Bohemian Headhunter t-shirts and I'm going thru my red t-shirts, going West, West, West, West, Pooh, West, West....what the fuck?....What's a pooh shirt doing in my closet?...That's Babs work...So now I am plotting something nefarious for her..Something really evil that will teach her not to mess with the Scorpio Queen...We do revenge better than anyone...I'll teach her to fuck with me...brwhahahahahah!

Yesterday at work it was just me and Tom the boss, who is about as good a boss as I have ever had...He lets me do in-caps as I am good at it and enjoy it...So I got to do a Mother's Day end cap right by the register...So I brought out the vases, infusion candles, huge ass boxes of chocolate, little plates with poems to mother on it, assorted crap you husbands get your kid to buy for mom for mothers day...and we had some blank places and I was allowed to fill it in with what I thought would look good, sell and would work for a mother's day end-cap...So I filled it in with some 'stuff' and then I thought(my first mistake)...hmmm...I know..So I went to ladies clothes and got a bunch of sexy women's thong, bikini panties in red, hot pink and racing stripes( I swear to Goddess the pants had red and black racing stripes on them) and hung them up on the end...I asked Tom...'so what do you think?..'..he said 'works for me'...and that was in..come in to work today and Inky came chasing me down and said 'are you clocked in?' and I said 'yeah, why?...and he said 'I want to make sure your on the clock so you can't clock me...' .."you want me to take down the red panties don't you'...hahahah...He thought it was so tacky..said all it needed was a sign that said 'hot XXX video's this way'...I did my sales pitch about how I had asked some ladies what they would rather have the hot panties or the chocolate and they all said the panties...So Inky said..'what ever...leave them up then...We're both laughing our asses off...I finally went and took the racing striped ones and the flaming red ones and replaced them with some sedate sequined looking ones and a bra and pantie set...just to fuck with him...eventually before the morning was over I took them down, but not before telling him the reason why he didn't like them was because he was afraid Anessa was going to want some..I did some big ass cleaning today..cleaned the floor behind the register as it was dirty, took all the rugs by the register, the door and the one out side and beat the shit out of them....plus, swept and mopped around the register booth...I can't just stand up there and do nothing...when I told Angela that she said 'oh I have no problem just standing her doing nothing.'..

I said 'no shit'...

To make sure I get my 30 hours in this week I have to come in 1/2 hour early for 2 days and an hour early on one ..which will allow me to have my 30 hours and get 2 days off..Good ole Tom..always thinking of me..Inky said if I didn't know you better I'd think you had something going with the boss to get 2 days off in a row...I laughed so hard I nearly choked..Said nope, he's just afraid if I don't get 2 days in a row off, I'm going to take a header in the middle of the floor from exhaustion..

I got my Late Night Online t'shirt...and was sorta pissed...it's made in fecking Haiti...What? China isn't good enough for ole Dave?....I'm thinking about sending it back ...with a note...I'm working on it...

oh...have to run...John McCain is on Letterman, want to make sure I watch it, in case he croaks...