I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Saturday, October 30, 2010

BOROWITZ REPORT.

Fox News Estimates Jon Stewart’s Crowd at Seven People

Disappointing Turnout, News Channel Says

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – The Fox News Channel reported today that the turnout for Jon Stewart’s “Rally to Restore Sanity” was underwhelming at best, with Fox sources estimating the total turnout at seven people.

“Our total count includes Stewart, [Stephen] Colbert, and what appear to be a few of their friends and relatives,” said Fox anchor Shepard Smith. “This has to be a smaller crowd than they were expecting.”

But immediately after Fox broadcast what it described as “live coverage” of the rally showing a nearly-deserted National Mall, viewers began to point out irregularities in the images being shown.

First of all, one viewer noticed that the live coverage of the rally was actually being broadcast a full twelve hours before the rally began.

Second, an expert identified the supposedly “live footage” of today’s rally as file footage from a Sunday in 1997 when the Mall was completely shut down for reseeding.

Even in the face of such evidence, Fox stood by its story, with Fox host Glenn Beck pointing out that the seven people in attendance were “largely elitists.”

“I was struck by how many correctly spelled signs there were,” Mr. Beck said. “That’s not my America.

6 comments:

Jan said...

All seven probably left mouuntains of debris, right?

jadedj said...

Hey, you gotta start somewhere. I couldn't make because I had to wash the cats. Otherwise.

Charlene said...

I had friends there and watched the CSpan coverage beginning to end. The crowd was estimated at 175,000 and a count off was done to support that estimate! hehehe

Some of the FOX viewers will believe this. Brace yourself for snarky blog posts.

Nit Wit said...

CBS says 215,000 and some others are going as high as 250,000. I haven't seen anything including the Park Service less than 200,000. Beck's in August when people had no school and many had vacation time was only 87,000.
Andy's got it right though. I love his stuff.
I'd watch FOX to see what they are saying but I don't want to risk having a stroke. The clips I see on The Daily Show already raise my blood pressure to dangerous levels.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hahahahahaha, good one!

Intense Guy said...

“I was struck by how many correctly spelled signs there were,” Mr. Beck said. “That’s not my America."

He would be right about that.. if it ever happened.