I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Thursday, August 23, 2007

.......OLD FARTS.......

There were two articles in the DAM News this morning that I thought were connected.
First one is:
SENIORS:DON'T TAKE AWAY OUT DOUGHNUTS
Patrons of five senior citizens centers in Carmel,N.Y., rebelled when officials wanted to prohibit free doughnuts at the centers over health concerns.The sides are working on a compromise.


No shit!..The local bakeries here donate kolaches to the West Rest Haven and to the Senior Citizens Center over by the library.If they stopped there would be a herd of old farts storming city hall..Don't mess with a old person's doughnuts or kolaches.Life is crappy enough for old farts without you jerking away one of their reasons to get up in the morning.
and the other article was this:
SEX DOESN'T DISAPPEAR IN OLD AGE,STUDY FINDS.
First-of-its-kind research shows interest, frequency strong among those able(stressing on the able...if you can't get it up...you can't get it in)
Many people maintain rich, active sex lives well into their 80's, according to the first detailed examination of sexuality among older Americans.
The normal representative survey of more than 3,000 U.S. adults ages 57 to 85 found that more than half to three-quarters of those questioned remain sexually active, with a significant proportion engaging in frequent and varied sexual behavior.( I for one, find it very hard to get that picture out of my mind..I mean really, does anyone want to see Betty White getting it on with Wilford Brimley?ewwww!)
"There's a popular perception that older people aren't as interested in sex as younger people," said Dr.Stacy Tessler Lindau of the University of Chicago, who led the study being published today in the New England Journal of Medicine."Our study shows that's simply not true. Older people value sexuality as an important part of life."(right up there with doughnuts)
The survey found a close link between sex and health, with healthier people reporting the highest rates of sexual activity.(yeah, who wants to fuck an old person with a leaky heart valve?) In addition to supporting the well-known idea that illness can interfere with sex, that finding suggests that a healthy sex life may help keep people vibrant.(come on honey, lets get your heart a pumping..)
"Individuals who remain sexually active gain
the benefit of the physical exercise that comes with sex," Dr. Lindau said."It's also possible the hormones-the endorphins released by orgasms-give a general sense of well-being that could be beneficial.The psychological benefits of being loved and cared for may also trickle over to physical health."
"This just shows that the light doesn't go out. The flame doesn't go out," said Todd Semla, president of the American Geriatrics Society.
I will be 64 in November..I haven't had sex since 1985...It's not like I set out to not have sex again..I had a complete hysterectomy and had just gotten over a really bad relationship..(fuck you Roger) and just wasn't interested in finding another asshole, which is what I seem to always pick out for me.Plus I was madly in love with Lone Star and having an affair with rum and chipping with Vodka.There wasn't a lot of room in my life for sex or a relationship. Then time passed..I quit drinking and was working..but by then it had been 5-6 years...After that long with out having sex...you just don't just give it up to some local yokel after that long..I had become picky...and was in no hurry to give it up to another asshole..So now after 22 years...I'm waiting out for Antonio Banderas to leave his wife..I'm afraid of hurting him though..he'll have to pass a physical..don't want to be responsible for giving him a heart attack..

17 comments:

Big Pissy said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Poor Antonio! He doesn't know what he has coming, does he?!?!? ;-)

I read that same article about sex....they didn't ask me about my 60 year old husband.

the rube said...

i thought that maybe tom landry had stolen your heart and no other man could take his place.

Mimi said...

NEVER come between me and a doughnut, especially a free one!

You would give a man a heart attack, you are one hell of a woman!

Nit Wit said...

Boy, Donuts and sex.
That must be why they call them the Golden Years.
Ewwww! I just got an image of Betty White buying Ky jelly and Trojans.
At least she was dressed. Ewwww now I have to go wash my brain out with soap.

yellowdog granny said...

big pissy:I just want one shot at stopping his heart..then i can die happy...
the rube:nah,just never found anyone as good, sweet, kind and funny as my daddy..
mimi:in west they make a round donut that is light and airy, and filled with jelly or cream and then rolled in sugar..its about the size of a softball..it's so good it will make you cry...i used to eat one a month and if anyone tried to take it from me...i would hurt them bad...even antonio ...how ya been?...hows the bambino?
nitwit:old people if they are going to have sex..should not discuss it or do it with the lights on...ewww...

BBC said...

The lady next door to me, she is 85 and she is the most wonderful woman I've ever known. She has never smoked, drank, or drove a car.

But boy, does she love sex, and is always pestering me for it. But I don't do sex just for sex.

I take good care of her and fix her meals and keep her home fixed, and things like that. I love her but she just doesn't turn my crank.

But I'll bet that 20 years ago we would have had a great time. On the other hand, who knows.

texlahoma said...

Thanks for the info, I'll skip the bar on saturday night and go straight to the old folks home!

buddha_girl said...

1. I want some kolaches. Now.

2. Sex. Good times with the right person.

3. Antonio would need medical and psychological attention after you finished with him!

Nick said...

Donuts are good. I'd fight for them.

Allan said...

I'm gonna go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut before some bastard takes it away!

kath said...

Hey jac! I didn't forget about a... this has been a long and busy couple of weeks.. I am trying to get back in the blog habit again..
hope to talk again soon... did ya make the sign yet?

I might make on for myself!

yellowdog granny said...

bbc:you are so full of shit..
tex:yeah, who woulda thought all the action was in retirement homes..they must need traffic guards to keep the lines straight..
buddha:I will see if they will ship kolaches ...over night them or something..if they still make the bowling ball ones that I used to love so much ..will send them..
the best kolaches are the ones stuffed with sausage..they have a czech name but can never remember what it is...all i know is pevo(beer) and pupek(belly button)..
nick:you would fight for some good ole kolaches too...
allan:i promise, come to west and you can have all the kolaches you want..especially the blue berry ones..
kath:hope things are ok..glad your back...

Teddy Bear Giraffe said...

Hello! Are there any Teddy Bears Dressed as Other Animals around here? Just wonderin' ...

tina said...

LOL doughnuts? arent there other issues of importance for them to address? - woweee

Hope your week is fantabulous !

Lavender said...

"The psychological benefits of being loved and cared for may also trickle over to physical health"


Who is this retard? You fucking think? Jesus christ! This shit is already known! Ass hat. If babies aren't nurtured physically they die... so same with all the old peoples!

:D

I bet you are well stocked with batteries though, hon!

Josh said...

Antonio would make a better cohort than Wilford. The way the latter says "Diabeetus" just irks me. Plus, I can't really imagine him in a Zorro getup.

Cheesemeister said...

If someone has lived long enough to be going to a senior center, they have damn well lived long enough to be able to decide if they should or shouldn't have a donut. My father calls this sort of policing of people's actions "the nanny says no."
Fortunately for the world, the only thing that sees me naked is my own eyes!