I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

.......YIPPY KI FUCKING YAY.......

Finally...I'm home..I got here Tuesday about 12:30...drove straight through..no stops..except for the Sheriff who stopped me for speeding ...no ticket..no warning..just wanted to see if he could scare the shit out of me and make my day at the same time..followed me while I was going 85 miles an hour for 40 miles..No thingies on top of the car..thought it was just some asshole following me...nope ...a Sheriff...he said you didn't know I was a Sheriff did you?...said 'fuck no, I was going 85 miles an hour...did I ACT like I knew a Sheriff was following me..?...doh!...Pretty funny now..but not at the time..
I came home to the biggest mess you can imagine..every lamp in the house was on the floor..one broke..shredded paper from living room to dining room...toilet paper from bathroom to the bedroom, under and over the bed..phones were disconnected and in the floor..everything that was on a shelf was on the floor...David said it would be like that every day when he came home and he would clean it up and then next day it would be the same...for the entire time I was gone...Little Asshole is no longer Little...he has really grown..and his eyes are the same color as Regan's in the movie the Exorist...yellow/redish
...spooky as hell...When I came in the door...it was like .."oh shit, the wardens back"....
I have so much to talk about I don't know where to start so going to do a post on each event...this is my home coming..went all over town saying my howdy's..everyone wanted to know where the fuck I had been..so had to tell and retell the story again and again..and started each conversation with "look...I got new choos"...I wear my khaki colored converse with my Baylor t-shirts...great match..and wear my Roxy's with my black t-shirt's...haven't wore the other one yet..they are suede and too hot to wear right now..waiting for just the right occasion to wear the lime green baby Phats...even got a purse to go with them..I look like a lime green peacock....It was sooo good to sleep in my own bed last night..and wake up to the sounds of my bedroom being destroyed by Asshole.
Judas Priest..the little fucker is insane...Jenny came over to get the stuff I had bought for her and she tried to pick him up and he bit her and boxed with her on his hind legs for a few minutes..she said "grandma...he's crazy."...no shit..I bought her and Jamie a Hell Mary's t-shirt...since they were the winners and had a Czech girl on the team...got her a pair of pink skeachers, socks, and a pair of high heel shoes you ladies will die for...4 inch ...black with gold spike heel...and leopard skin across the toes....on sale for $50....and a leopard print purse to match..on sale $10...so proud of my self.She freaked fucking out when she saw them...which was the idea...but they are too big..so going to send them to Shady and have her exchange them..we were both just sick that they didn't fit..and they were her size...just too big..trying to get a hold of Jamie so she can come get her stuff...the leopard shoes and purse were her graduation present..so got Jamie some tennie's, socks, and a sexy little black Cammy top...Jenny thought it was funny that I went to a Roller Derby Championship...I've been going 'HELL MARY'S....HELL YES.'.... but more on them in my next post..cause I am going to do a post on the Championship and one on African Drum Dance Classes...which was fucking amazing...wow!...
While I was gone someone broke into the library and stole the money she keeps there..people rent the little
conference room for showers, parties, etc..and she had about $300 and some one broke the door and came in and stole it..Henrietta says she knows who did it..just can't prove it..I told her about the library in Kingsland and how we could do some of the stuff they do and she said, 'we don't have anyone to man them.'...I said...I will...so I am going to the Library Board Meeting Monday...probably piss everyone off as I am going to let them know that we can't keep going like we have with just Henrietta and no help but me...and while she was gone to Washington...they got a cut off notice for the phone and they cut the service...no one on the board takes care of things like that till it is last minute..then get pissed because they didn't know...Dumb Czechs..Let see..what else..?...Deven 's(the kid who down loaded games onto my computer )
team won the district championship but lost in State..but that was pretty good...We had the rodeo and no one got drunk or fell off their horse during the parade..Our new VFW hall is almost complete..Mary had her toe operated on and Margaret so was glad to see me she nearly squeezed the life out of me when she hugged me...Charlotte the manager tried to give me another wild cat..I said,"Fuck You"...
Did I tell you the reason I have money to spend is Lane's mother had her write me a check for what Bolish's SS check would be...?...$781...so now I can get my new glasses, hopefully get my tooth fixed..and my computer..was going to get a new one..but I'm too cheap...my cable is all fucked up and when I called to complain(had called before I left and they were supposed to have fixed it) she got snippy with me..and I said I didn't think they gave a shit and she said "I will disconnect if you swear again."..So I said "bite me " and hung up...I have to get my jabs in when I can..Bought 2 qrts of paint to redo my desk, dresser and hopefully the new book case I am going to build...
anything else?....hmmm..oh yes...Fuck me till they throw me a parade...I'm so glad to be home..and back with my blogger buddies...sigh*....I missed y'all.

17 comments:

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

Yippee! My favorite blogging Granny is back! Everything is right in Blogland again.

Welcome back. I better start clipping coupons again.

Sorry to hear about your apartment. I'm sure Little Asshole was just excited to see you. ;)

texlahoma said...

We missed you too, Speedy!

Nit Wit said...

Yay! about time you stopped scaring those Roller Derby girls and got out of he nasty old big city.
I thought I was going to have to post another blog just to get your attention.
Jackiesue is back home and almost all is right with the world.
I figured that you would come home to a lot more damage by Little Asshole.
You still have walls and a roof so that's pretty good.

Ol' Lady said...

Glad to hear that you made it back alive :)
Sounds like your 'asshole' missed you :o
Enjoy being home.

the rube said...

the little asshole has "separation anxiety" ruby did the same thing for about 6 months, then we got smart and bought a doggy hotel (crate)

i'd never heard of separation anxiety before. when the lovely you know who goes out i call it separation celebration.

cowboys vs colts tonight. i hate those feckin colts. ( i hate all teams that move the franchise)

Rainwolf said...

Welcome home.

Nick said...

Why would someone that says something like "hang on it's going to be a bumpy ride" use comment moderation.

Are you in favor of censorship?

jan said...

Glad you're back. Blogging is missing something without news from west Texas and little asshole. Separation anxiety? It doesn't really sound like he was bored while you were gone.

BYG said...

Welcome back JS. Sounds like you had a nice homecoming, heehee....and I would LOVE to throw you a parade. It could be pretty funny actually!

Pixie said...

LOL LOL LOL @ "and his eyes are the same color as Regan's in the movie the Exorist...yellow/redish"

texlahoma said...

I asked the very same question nick, it's not what you think.

yellowdog granny said...

HMHH:he was just bored and left to his own devices for too long of a time...I'm so glad to be home..
tex:speedy but no ticket..
nitwit:im sure the roof and walls are standing only because he didn't think of it...I swear he's just as mad as a hatter...I think i could start skating right now and be up to speed to join them girls by their next championship...
ollady:Im not sure he missed me so much...but i think he likes me better then david oden who took NO shit off of him at all..
rube:his only problem is boredom...and no one to stop him...he had full rein 3/4 of the time..so he took advantage of it and just ran amok...
cowboys won..yeah!!!!!!!!
rainwolf:thank you very much..glad to be home..
nick:i went to your blog and left a comment about why i use it..but am thinking i will try it the old way one more time and see if the asshole will not bother my readers anymore...think cheesemeister would go bonkers if he attacked her on here again...
you guys should go check nick out..he's a wounded vet..pretty funny...meaner then a skunk too..
jan:your exactly right..just bored..
byg:im ready for a parade...just no clowns...
pixie;i swear he's like the devil...with those yellow redish eyes..
tex:thanks...i needed that..ha

Cyberoutlaw said...

Welcome back! It sounds like you could use some time off and on your own. I suggest an Alaskan cruise or one of those Caribbean beach getaways!

apositivepessimist said...

Arhaaha it was like you typed all that in one breath.

Welcome Home. Nothing beats home [some places come close] I say as I click my ruby red foot thongs.

angel said...

heh heh... they had to let you know how they felt about you being gone, poor babies!
glad its so good to be home!

Josh said...

Awesome, welcome back home. I think your cat has ADD or something.

Cheesemeister said...

My calico cat has golden eyes, but any time I take a picture of her with my digital camera, if the room is dark her eyes glow like she's an alien or something in the picture. Every time!