I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

MY LITTLE SEX DOLL



I was lonely...so I bought a little toy doll to keep me company...He doesn't look like Barbies Ken, but he does talk and when I really want to get excited, I slip my hand up his thighs, over his firm buttocks and press that little button and he speaks to me..this is what he says to me to get my blood boiling and hot under the collar:"There are known knowns, there are things we know that we know.There are known unknowns, that is to say there are things that we now know we don't know.But there are also unknown unknowns, there are things we don't know, and each year we discover a few more of those unknown unknowns."....and if that doesn't get me all steamed up there is always :"I believe what I said yesterday. I don't know what I said,but I know what I think,and I assume that's what I said."..If you would like to get all hot under the collar and steamy too, all you need is
$29.99 and you can get your very own 12-inch(every one wants 12 inches) "Rummy" doll.It recites 28 of Mr. Rumsfeld's greatest displays of impeccable logic.You can also get a Bill Clinton doll which says "It depends upon what the meaning of the word "is" is and "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky."...You can also get a George W. Bush doll which just fucking lies(I made that part up)..and to make it even more interesting..the dolls are made in China and there is a warning:"Choking Hazard. Small parts(sooo, he doesn't really have 12 inches).Not for children under 3 years of age."...(or for adults with IQ's over 70)
Other news ...You read about and watched on the news about Richard "The Dick" Cheney having heart problems?...Well, they finally found out what's wrong..His heart was made in China and is contaminated with lead..They were going to recall it, but the powers that be decided it wasn't necessary as he never uses it anyhow...

9 comments:

BBC said...

We are so screwed.

TheBratPrince said...

I'll send you some heavy-duty straight pins for that doll of yours.

It's never too early to spread some Xmas cheer!!!!

Mimi said...

Dick has a heart??????????????

Nit Wit said...

Of course Dick has a heart. He removed it from a war orphan and keeps it in a jar in his office at the undisclosed location.
If the idea of pins or even a little fire to see if it has any effect on it gets around those dolls are sure to be on the Christmas wish lists of at least 70% of the American people. The other 30% think Santa is a myth as they don't understand giving just receiving.
The real big seller will be the Jackiesue talking doll, but you have to be an adult to push its button. :)

yellowdog granny said...

bbc:we have been screwed for so long that we are permantly in the bend over position..
the bratprince: ahh, yes..a little voodoo doll...and a little prick...for a big prick..
mimi:yeah, probably not..
nitwit:I like the idea of a jackiesue doll...push a button and it says "fuck off"...

jan said...

How much is Mattel paying to manufacture the Jackie Sue doll? I'm sure it will outsell Barbie if all the little girls get to hear her say Fuck off.

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

Undress the Bush doll and Rumsfeld doll and then mash them together in compromising poses while sticking pins in them.

Too bad they don't have a Cheney doll. Oh, wait. I think he could pass for Chuckie.

Lily Strange said...

Well all right I'll admit, it's sexier than the Tip O'Neill doll.

angel said...

mwaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaaa...