I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Sunday, August 03, 2008

INKY, ANESSA AND THE PARADE


So I couldn't get Babs to leave her nice cool apt. to go watch the Rodeo parade, I tried to convince her it would be short and painless, but no deal..So I head down to the Family Dollar thinking I'd just watch the parade go by in front of the store which is on Main Street and the direct route for the parade..and who do I spy but Inky and Anessa, so I wave for them to stop, which must have just seemed like a 'hey what the fuck ya doing' wave, as they just waved and drove on..so I followed them and caught up with them as they were going into Czech American for an early lunch as Anessa had to go to work at noon...Anessa wanted to watch the parade too, so we convinced Inky to wait a few minutes on his lunch. I swear to the Goddess, the parade was about 12 cute girls, carrying flags on very pretty horses, followed by a small chuck wagon pulled by some beautiful mules followed by about 8-10 people on horse back...oh yeah, the chief of police led the parade...that was it...and there was a cop car on every corner. You would have thought Macy's was having their Thanksgiving Parade here in downtown West. It took all of about 5-6 minutes..I laughed my ass off..So I go in with them to bullshit while they ate...Some how we got to talking about the bars in West and how some of them still have the back room with counters and stools for the black people to eat/drink. Back when they were separated by color, and I mentioned working at The Country Inn in Leroy and it had the back room with a separate seating area for the black people...and was talking about some of the old men that came in there, playing domino's and gawking at my boobs...Inky said one of the customers told Inky once "that you know you're too old to jack-off when all you can do is jack"...I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes..Then Inky told me he had been stopped by the little Nazi cop (the one that gave me the ticket) for going 42 in a 35, but didn't give him a ticket.(I refer to him as a Barney Fife wanna be) We discussed how he was such a angry little prick..and I told Inky, I don't know why he gets so mad at people, it's not our fault his mother fucked a gnome. This made Inky and Anessa hysterical..so all and all, we had a fun time...all of this in an hour's time..Don't get much better than that...

20 comments:

Nit Wit said...

I bet the crowd watching was bigger than the parade. They hould have all gone out into the street as it passed and joined it. By the time it got to the end of the route the cops may have been worried about crowd control.
Maybe you guys ought to get together and try to get the Barney wanna be laid.
I bet that would improve his disposition, and if you got pictures of it you might find a use for them if you got pulled over again.
Babs doesn't know what she missed.
She might have even been able to add to her and your West, Texas legend. Not to mention providing meat for another post.

Christie said...

I think every small town has a few cops like that. Ours harrassed the Mexican workers until our Mexican restaurant closed. Damn! Now that's a problem for me, no chile rellenos.
West sounds great when you describe it.

Big Pissy said...

Ahhhhhhh....good times!

West does sound great when you describe it! :)

texlahoma said...

There was a cop like that in our town too. He got a bogus call to the black part of town in a kind of ambush around the forth of July. When he stopped his car he got hit with a barrage of fireworks from the entire Northeast part of town. He was calling for backup from the county laws, they just laughed at him. He was big joke and eventually quit the force.

yellowdog granny said...

nit:your right, there were more people watching then were in the parade...horses were pretty though..
I think we need to have a blanket party for barney fife...that's where you ambush him out in the country ...throw a blanket over him so he can't see you and then beat the shit out of him...
I'm going to start just going over there and forcebly haul her ass out of the house...i need a parnter in crime..
christie:oh this asshole harrasses everyone, he doesn't care who they are..mexican, czech or tourist..
i like to think i tell it like it is about my little town..warts and all.
big pissy:well, i am a texan so i do streeeetch the truth some time..ha
tex:what a great idea..except his asshole would probably start shooting his guns at us..but if i thought it would work...hmmmm, inky would help...ha

unokhan said...

those cowboys could be kinda skeert to come into town after a wildwoman made off with their steeds

old enough to moan said...

It sounds just like the Movies, and I thought the West was a myth.
Did the Gnome have long fishing rod?

Nan said...

I swear all you people in West do is party -- parades, food, general rowdiness.

Every town has a Barney Fife type cop with a Napoleon complex. They can't impress people by being smart or competent, so they get off on abusing the power their badge gives them and turn into total pricks.

billy pilgrim said...

but he let that criminal inky off the hook for speeding.

i'll bet inky's going 45 mph these days.

citizen of the world said...

You're kidding - there are still segregated bars in Texas? I thought my neck of the woods was backward.

LostInCO said...

Trying to think the last time I went to a parade...was so long ago.

jan said...

I'm keeping a list of insults from your blog because yours are world class. "Your mother fucked a gnome" is one of the better ones.

yellowdog granny said...

unokhan:you know cowboys ain't skeert of no female..
oetm:everything about texas is true, if it isn't..we'll make it true..gnomes have big pipes..
nan:yeah, and we seem to have at least one every 3-5 years to replace the last one ..asshole cops are not a rarity..
yup..we do a lot of partying..nothing else to do..
billy:inky's still amazed he let him go, although he said he thought he was going ot write him up when one of the other cops showed up and he just walked away..
cotw:nope not segergated...just old bars that used to be and never remodeled..we're backwards..but not that bad..ha..
lic:you should see the westfest parade, now that's a parade..it's one of the largest in central texas...even have a float with a outhouse on it ..which pisses this one lady off so bad, she writes letters to the editor every year about it...
jan:yeah, even inky liked that one..

buddha_girl said...

A GNOME? A GNOME?

I just sent huge thanks out into the universe for only having had one kid through my lovely vagina.

Had it been more than one, I think I would have WET MY PANTS after reading the gnome comment!

Woozie said...

Aren't you allowed to go 10 over the speed limit?

Nan said...

If a single float with an outhouse bothers that one person, she should just thank her lucky stars she doesn't live in upper Michigan -- they hold outhouse races in Trenary every February. Imagine how she'd react to several dozen privies racing down the main street of town.

angel said...

well that sounds like a lot more fun than the parade!

sageweb said...

I love a good parade! Not crappy nazi cops tho. But sounds like you had some good laughs.

Josh said...

Gnomes can be vindictive little bastards!

Probably a good thing you got out to enjoy the weather before EDOUARD blows in...

Sling said...

You know how I feel about most cops..They carry their peckers in a leather holster.