I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Friday, April 03, 2009

HELPING YOU THROUGH THE WEEKEND

Annie is back to her "this is my world and I'm only allowing you to rent space in it" mood..We spend almost all day outside in the sun..she sunned, cleaned her ass and I raked, planted, weeded, chased the mother fucking squirrel that has decided to be the bane of my existence. The little fucker has broken 5 of my bird feeders...and when I left him his own bowl of seed so he'd leave theirs alone...he tore it up and scattered it all over the yard..Some one is going to be sporting a brand new squirrel skin cap before long ...So anyfucking how..Annie and I come in because it's getting dark, I need to eat and I don't want her to wear herself out..so while I'm eating she's over by the door scratching and meowing to get out...'no no sweet girl, you have to stay in, I don't want you to wear yourself out or hurt yourself.'...so what do I get in return for my love and care.? She craps right in front of the door, wobbles over to me..sits down in front of me and in 'kitty talk' said "take that bitch"...Then to make sure she got the point across she peed on the chair. So I'm assuming the little bitch is getting better...
Hope these bring you a little enjoyment over the weekend..and always remember:The 3 most over rated things in America are:mack trucks, teenage pussy and the F.B.I...........have a good weekend..It's going to be in the 80's here and will be outside with the 'bitch' and working on my garden. Fuckme with a jigsaw...I'll never get another cat again.








































































































































For some reason this one really made me laugh..probably because Holy Shit is one of my favorite expressions...














23 comments:

Pom said...

Long live the queen! ;o) You're just an accessory to her life (and the operator of the can opener). She'd do away with you if she had opposable thumbs! Give her loves for me. lol

Sling said...

It sounds like order has been restored to the Universe!..or at least West,Texas.

TheWayfarer said...

I love cats...Especially batter-dipped, fried, with an ice-cold cherry Coke and a side of mashed taters & cole slaw!

Sorry, I couldn't resist:)

Unknown said...

At last, I've found a way to read your blog at work, damn the 'puter censors! I have to load it into Google Reader and then read, only I can't see the pics 8-{

Lilly said...

Oh so glad SHE is back!!! Great news. Holy Shit those cats eyes are creepy in the crepe picture. They are so funny those images, just totally clever! Hope you are having a good Sunday already, the girl is chilling out nicely and the weather is fine enough to go out and sunbathe!!

billy pilgrim said...

annie, long may she run.

i've been batttling those little rat bastard squirrels for years.

they're easier to shoot than crows.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like my dog ... my boxer does exactly as she pleases ... of course, crapping on the floor ... it's all over.

Rox said...

I'm glad to see everything is back to good in your world! I'm so envious of you being outside in your yard, playing in the dirt.

Intense Guy said...

Graaaaaaaaaannnny Crocket! Queen of the wild frontiiiieeerrrr!

:) I hear from one of your fellow Texans that Squirrels make good stew.

tsduff said...

Love Annie's spunk.

Ha ha - passive resistance - that is hilarious.

yellowdoggranny said...

pom:nah, she wont do away with me when its so much fun to fuck with me..
ted:careful she has friends, they'll come shit in your shoes.
june:did you get them when i sent it in the email?
willym:now you know our secret.
lilly:it's been so beautiful here..been out in yard for 2 days straight..annie is loving it.
billy:i remembered i still had some coyote piss, so sprinkled it around the yard and the tree...that should keep the little bastard away....i saw too that if you or anyone pees around the yard and put som hair from your brush in the yard, it will keep them away...
z:what's bad is she was always so good with the liter box..never went anywhere but the box and outside..
rox:and listening to your cd you made for me..hey billy i was listened to some of your canadian music..tres chic!
intense:they are a little greasy but eadible.
tsduff:she's a stuborn little cuss.but thats also what kept her alive too.

Anne Johnson said...

Squirrel is good fried like chicken, but you need a lotta squirrels to feed a hungry family.

Nit Wit said...

Ony 4 to bitch slap. I always was lazym now I know why.
Better tell Ted that fried food is bad for you. Plus with cat you have to cook it nine times before it stays done.

TheWayfarer said...

That Posable Paper Pope is a freaking riot..*LMFAO!*

Unknown said...

Cat's do have a way with words don't they?

texlahoma said...

I was reading too fast, thought you said "I raked, planted weed..."

I thought of the Jets and the Sharks before I even read "If we had thumbs, we would be snapping."

Heidi said...

Sounds like Annie is feeling better - she's going to show you. LOL

Those cat stumbles are so funny.

yellowdoggranny said...

nitwit;maybe eating cat would give you 9 years of bad luck?
Ted:i like the one about chrispy cream donuts.
justme:annie sure does..and she's pissed at me this morning cause it's too cold for her to go out and she seems to think that's my fault.
tex:you know i could probably grow weed here and no one would know what it was..hmmmmmmm...
heidi:if she doesn't quit peeing and pooping where she wants im going to smack her

Tina said...

haha the toilet/skiing thing made me chuckle because it reminded me of this (keep watching for 'mission 2' at the end):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IagePE7Y1hY

Big Pissy said...

I'm so glad your Queen is better! :)

sageweb said...

I am so happy she is back to being bitchy..I think that is why we love cats..they do things we wish we could do when we are pissed.

Wendy said...

I too loved holy crepe and the flair one when I saw them on lolcats. maybe you should put the litter box next to the door?

Also you should checking out failblog.org

LostInColor said...

Glad to hear Annie is back to herself!