I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Monday, September 04, 2006

1987 ..HOLY SHIT..I'M A GRANDMA ...TWICE




On December 2nd, 1986 my first granddaughter was born...Nicole. I was so excited..I was so proud...I was so happy.I was so scared...Would I be a good grandma? Would she like me? Would I do better by her than I had her father?....I was already off to not such a good start..my son's wife C. was having a long hard labor and I was having fits...they kept saying she'll be ok..she was in labor for almost 1 full day...I said they should take the baby...she was just wore out...and of course male drs. and D said oh, she can do it...yeah, sure she can..but why make her and the baby go thru that when she doesn't have to? So after I threatened to take the Dr. out to the parking lot and see if he could give birth to my cowboy boot that I promised to shove up his ass, they decided to give her a cesarean...other than the birth the best part of the labor was when my dil reached up and grabbed my son by his sweatshirt pulled herself up off the bed til she was right in his face and she said:"you sonofabitch...that's all I have to say."...and flopped back on the bed...I had to go outside I was laughing so hard..my son was so pissed at me..between him and the dr. who didn't like having his ass threatened to be kicked they asked me to leave the labor room...good thing..I was running out of boones farm and needed to go get a teddy bear for the baby and some more wine...Yes, I was in the waiting room, labor room, half drunk...If anyone thought that maybe that was not a normal thing..no one said anything..it wasn't till years later that I thought what the fuck was I thinking????Mom half drunk was no big deal...I was half drunk most of the time, the rest of the time I was allllll the way drunk...
So...now I am a grandma..to the most beautiful baby you have ever seen...tiny, pink with black hair and blue eyes...she looked li
ke a little indian baby...and because of hard times with her Mom and Dad, they were living with me and I had her right there all the time...Lordy..I was in heaven...my son and his wife were saving money for their own place but I was in no hurry for them to leave...I had nursed all my babies so I didn't know much about bottles...and the dr. had suggested because she was so tiny to mix a little cereal with her formula...so I made the hole in the nipple..and because it was a tad too big we made the bottle with more cereal...by the time she was 4 weeks old she looked like a basketball..ha..my dil's mother wanted to spend more time with the baby so they went and spent a few weeks with her and I was so lost...then they found a place and they dil was going back to work..and I got to watch the baby full time...oh man, was I thrilled...so for the 6 months that I wanted the baby I did not drink...6 months..such a head start..but when they decided to put her in a day care closer to where they lived and worked....I went right back to drinking...didn't miss a step...pow..back to drinking...In March of 1987 my second granddaughter was born...her mom stayed home and didn't work so I couldn't baby sit her...but spent as much time as I could considering that the dil and I hated each other...the dil's were the good daughter-in-law and the bitch from hell...but I still had two of the most beautiful grandbabies...and so different..N was dark haired, dark eyes and Jenny (you have read me bragging about her all over the place)was fair, blond and green eyes...but they each held the same space in my heart...I was a grandma..44 years old...ahhh life is good.
Life in
the world was so-so..and so was the music...
The Su
preme Court rules Rotary Club must admit women.Iraqi missiles kill 37 in atatck on U.S.frigate Stark in Persian Gulf.Iraqi president aplogizes..big fucking deal...what else was done? fucking Reagan.Margaret Thacher wins 3rd term.
Oliver
North,Jr. tells congressional inquirey higher officails approved his secret Iran-Contra operations. Admiral John M. Poindexter, former national security advisor, testifies he authorized use of Iran arms sale profits to aid contras.Secretary of State George P. Shultz testifies he was deceived repeatedly on Iran-Contra affairs. Defense Secretary Casper W. Weinberger tells inquirey of official deception and intrigue.Reagan says Iran-Contra arms policy went astray and accepts responsiblity. Clinton gets his dick sucked and almost gets inpeached...Reagan oks arms for prisoners and nothing is done...fuckity fuck fuck fuck...Did he ever get punished???? well as Debbie Gibson said'Only in my dreams.'
'Open your heart and Who's that girl'by Madonna,'The power of love'by L
aura Branigan,'Respect yourself'by Bruce Willis...yes, you read that correctly...Bruce Willis...he had a band called Bruno and somebody...I forget...but people actually thought it was a real deal band and they swore up and down they did see him when Bruno played at Woodstock...somepeople are so stupid..'Rhythm is gonna get you'by Gloria Estafan and the Miami Sound Machine,'Why can't he be you'by the Cure,'Shakedown'by Bob Seger,'Songbird'by Kenny G,'Somewhere out there'by Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram,'Stone Love'by Kool and the Gang,'Tonight, tonight, tonight'by Geneses,'Touch me'by Sammatha Fox,'U got the look'by Prince and Sheena Easton,'We're ready'by Boston,'Where the streets have no name and With or without you'by U2(I loved those 2 songs),'Will you still love me'by Chicago,'Midnight Blue'by Lou Gramm,'You can call me Al,'by Paul Simon,'Hot Love'by Twisted Sister,'Free'by Stryper,'Fight For You're Right To Party'by Beastie Boys( I loved that song...well, of course.)and 'Girls'by Beastie Boys.
Are we
funky yet????'I've had the time of my life'by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warner,'I'm no angel'by Gregg Allman Band,'Shattered Glass'by Laura Branigan,'Freedom'by Alice Cooper,'Touch of Gray'by Grateful Dead,'Girls girls girls'by Motley Crew,'It's Tricky'by RUN DMC,'Alone'by Heart,'At the moment'by Billy Vera and the Beaters,'I think we're alone now'by Thiffany,'Bad'by Michael Jackson,'Ballerina girl'by Lionel Richie,'Big Love'by Fleetwood Mac,'I wanna dance with somebody'by Whitney Houston,'Big Time'by Peter Gabriel,'C'est La Vie'by Robbie Nevil,'Change of heart'by Cyndi Lauper,'I want your sex'by George Michael,'Control'by Janet Jackson,'Didn't we almost have it all'by Whitney Houston,'Don't dream it's over'by Crowded House,'Don't mean nothing'by Richard Marx, 'Faith'by George Michael,'Hazzy Shade of Winter'by Bangles,'Head to toe'by Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam,'Heat of the night'by Bryan Adams,'Is this love and Hear I go again'by Whitesnake,'Heaven is a place on earth'by Brenda Carilise,'I found someone'by Cher,'Nothings gonna stop us now'by Starship,'I heard a rumor'by Bananarama,'I just can't stop loving you'by Michael Jackson and Siedah Garrett,'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For'by U2,'Mony Mony'by Billy Idol,'Need you tonight'by INXS,'Lets go'by Wang Chung,'In too deep'by Geneses,'Jacob's Ladder'by Huey Lewis and the News,'La Bamba'by Los Lobos,'Notorious'by Duran Duran.and a song I really liked 'Luka'by Suzanne Vega..Between watching grandbabies I still had time for a little country music..like'Rose In Paradise'by Waylon, 'Little Sister'by Dwight Yoakam,'Born to Boogie'by Hank, jr.,'and my favorite song that year..'Do-Ya'by K.T. Oslin....
sooo Im a grannie...I told both dil's and sons...I was granny, grannie, grandma, grandmother...but the first kid that called me nanny or nana or nene or nunu..or what the fuck ever..their parents were in deep shit...somethings were just too awful to even consider...now for all you grandma's that are called nanny or nana or any variation of fine.that's you...but not for me..Just the thought of being at some grocery store and having a kid tugging on my jeans yelling "nana" at me was enough to make me double up on the Boones Farm....

25 comments:

Nit Wit said...

Ah Boone's Farm a true wine for conasures. I haven't had it in a long long time.
I can see the Doctor quaking in his shoes when he thinks about going tohis car that night.
Grandkids are a lot more fun than your own kids cause you get to give them back, and spoil them rotten.

Nit Wit said...

My spellchecker has brain damage.

Rantin' Ron said...

Congrats on the new grandmunchkin.

I'm with you on all those ridiculous variation on Grandma. My SIL is referred to as....get this:

GRANGA...makes me wanna puke.

cyberoutlaw said...

rotflol! You threatened to put a cowboy boot up the doctor's ass? LOL!

Ohhh man...Boone's Farm, Apple Zapple, and Ripple. Our park bench favorites back in the day!

Babs1 said...

Just hearing the words "Boone's farm" makes my skin crawl.

yellowdog granny said...

nitwit:i remember when boone's farm only had one flavor and was 89cents a bottle..lived in oregon and was such a big deal...apple wine...nearly put Henry's Wine(local guy in mts) out of business...
yes babs, just the thought of Boone's Farm makes my gag reflex work...
fuzz..when my second daughter in law was pg her dr. kept telling her she was fat and gave her a button with a pig on it and said im a fat pig..i went to his office and said if he ever said anything like that to her again i would drag his ass to the parking lot and kick the shit out of him...he never called her fat again...drs...bunch a pussies..

Junebugg said...

Ain't grandkids a hoot! I can just see you threating the Dr!!!!!
Damn, Boone's Farm brings back memories of riding backroads drinking until we had to upchuck in a ditch. Seemed like fun at the time.........

sugarnspice said...

*lmao*
I wish you would have been in the delivery room for the birth of my daughter.. you should like a real hoot!!

leo myshkin said...

grandkids, if they aren't nice what is?

grandkids are the only thing in the future that excite me. my little angels better don't let me down on this one.

Lauren said...

Doctors are such pompous assholes!! I'd pay money to see you plant a boot up his ass LOL!!

Boone's Farm. . . . OMG, can't tell you how many hangovers that shit gave me in the early 70s. . .

If I had grandkids, I'd want to be called Granny. . . And I'd spoil them ROTTEN!!!

HUGGSS!!

Josh said...

I was my grandmother's first grandchild, and I started calling her "nanny" at a very early age. I apparently set a precedent, because every grandchild since then has called her "nanny."

Sue said...

Always had female doctors in delivery .. what an ass, good for you granny .. :)

john said...

It must be fun to have grandkids .I can just imagine the joy it will bring to us . I'd like to be called Grampa . It sounds real cool !

apositivepessimist said...

due to the influence of my Bad Grannie who we called Gran...my mum is Nanny to her grandkids, I didn't want to take the chance that she would turn like the Bad One to my son.

I can't wait to be a Grandmother and with the LFB's two kids added to my one I gots even a better chance. yeehar.

Chana said...

how wonderful that you love your family as much as you do..that you think so fondly of your grandkids..all children should have grandparents in their lives and they all should love them this much. here from dr. John's.

Chana said...

how wonderful that you love your family as much as you do..that you think so fondly of your grandkids..all children should have grandparents in their lives and they all should love them this much. here from dr. John's.

Margaret said...

Well, shit... congratulations to Granny!!! (Lifting glass of .. oh, cup of coffee it's only Wednesday to your honor.)

Dr. John Marathoning' This afternoon!

Betty said...

I also love being a grandparent. they are a joy.
Came from Dr John's marathon

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

Same here. Just been a 2nd grandma.
Just passing by to greet you a hello from Dr. John.

buddha_girl said...

Holy crap. I was 16 that year. I REMEMBER those songs with great clarity. It's surreal. High school dances with those tunes banging around the gym. *sigh*

You're a great grandmother. Just ask Buddha!

buddha_girl said...

And by the way....I SAW Motley Crue on concert that year as well!

Scottish Toodler said...

I love this year by year of Jackiesue!!! This rocks!!!! And I love that each one has a "soundtrack"!!!!

Nancy said...

Grand-daughters are the best! Just got my first one and I'm going by nanna, Bruce is poppa. The other set of grand-parents already took the good names.

Mama Kelly said...

1987?? For me it meant High School graduation and so yes I remember like every song on your countdown!

On another note ... when I became a mom in the mid 90s my mother ASKED to be "Nana" because she figured my daughter would be able to say Nana long before Grandma and didn't want to have to wait.

Sorry for my long absence from commenting

Mama Kelly
Purple Moon Garden
purplemoongarden.wordpress.com

cheesemeister said...

On one hand, I can't wait to be a grandma!
On the other hand, my son is only 16, so I suggest he wait a while before granting me this honor!