I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Sunday, September 24, 2006

1990...SUICIDE BLOND...INXS....




Before I get started on this motherfucker..this is the second time I have done this post...blogger ate the first one...and I found out one thing...you can scream, cuss and throw you're converse tennies across the room....and it won't come back..so if this isn't as good as the first one...well, you won't ever know will ya...but I will and I am really pissed.


I used Suicide Blond for a tag line as I used to be a blonde and even though I don't think I was actually suicidal, anyone who drinks as much as I did...must have had it in the back of their mind...at least once or twice..I finally figured out what I did in 1990...besides drinking myself into several alcohol related deseases..I worked..and worked alot..I had pretty much burnt all my bridges with Paint, Lumber co's and hardware..so I had my own one woman cleaning company, plus I worked for another cleaning company. I cleaned the offices of the Waco paper and a 3-story Methodist Church.I worked at the Church with my oldest son D. and 2-3 other people.I really enjoyed working at the Church but because of my great parenting skills my kids were known for pretty much two things:farting and giving the finger...oh..and all of us swear like sailors on shore leave..So working with D at the Church led to some serious, yet funny situations..We went to work between 7-8pm and worked till 10-midnight...depending on the night..most nights we were out of there by 10:30..but if they had dinners or special events it took us longer and Fridays we had to vacuum the church area which was a huge job..took 3 of us...and during fall it was an extra chore as the crickets swarmed and vacuuming up dead or dying crickets and smelling them cook inside the vacuum, well it's a smell like you have never smelled before..We wore rags on scarves over our nose and mouth or we would have been puking in the pews...it was gross.
I used to drive J crazy as I would either whistle or sing songs and never knew the words to the songs and would be singing'I found my thrill..on Blueberry Hill, and lala humm lalalalallalaldo daaaall....whistle the tune,lalalal..hummmm on blue berry hill....'and the next time I would pass J he would be 'lalalall blueberry hill, damnit Jackie, now I have that song in my head and I can't quit singing it.'I would laugh my ass off...He told me once that he went home with the song Hearbreak Hotel in his head and it stayed there the entire weekend....Made my day.
D and J
were always trying to spook us by jumping out of closets or banging on windows so I had pretty much gotten over being scared at unexpected noises..so when someone banged on the window in the Kids room, I just flipped them the finger and went on my way..thinking it was D or J....it wasn't D or J..it was the pastors wife who had left her purse..so got my ass chewed for that one..much to the delight of my son...D was the champion in our family for farts..he would cock his butt and rip out the loudest and foulest farts ever..small children were known to flop over from the fumes...The church's basement is where all the cleaning supplies were and D was down there alot getting us supplies, etc. and we would press elevator button to have him send them up ..he would get in the elevator..fart..and then send the elevator up....we would open it up to be greeted by his noxious fart and just about gag...Once I shouted down the elevator shaft after a blast from the basement'fuckyou, you little asshole'....I got in trouble for that one too...Methodists have no sense of humor...
During all this working I still continued to drink...I had taken my
GED the year before(married at 16 remember) and had made the second highest score ever on the written exam. This so excited the powers that be, they encouraged me to go to college and take English and writing classes..but they also added on a bunch of other shit..like fucking algerbra and psychology..(????????) I was working 5 cleaning jobs...5 days and 5 nights and 7 days and 7 nights drinking...Then the book store job came back into town(had worked for them the year before) and so I had all those jobs plus the book store job and 18 hours of school...This shit was seriously cutting into my drinking time.I was coming and going so much I could kiss my own ass..So naturally I quit school...It was just too stressful and needed the jobs to take care of me and my daughter...but I had been trying to stop drinking..I would actually stop drinking for 3-6 weeks..then say 'see, I can quit drinking..I just did.' drunks are so funny.
So as I was working my way through 1990...The World Wide Web debuts, General Manuel Noriega surrenders in Panama and Yugosl
avic communists end their 45-year monopoly of power. The Soviet Union relinquishes sole power and finally the South African government freed Nelson Mandella after being in prison for 27 1/2 years..(Does anyone remember the song 'Free Nelson Mandella?'...'Free Nelson Mandella ....Free Nelson Mandella'...that's it...only song I knew all the words too, well with the exception of the Bluebonnet song...)
1990 s
aw the launching of the Hubble Space Telescope and the launching of the U.S. Soviet summit accord on arnament. Western Alliance ends cold war and propose joint action(yeah, how's that working?)with Soviet Union and Eastern Europe. U.S. appeals court over turns Oliver North's Iran-Contra conviction.(fuckers)Iraqi troops invade Kuwait and seize their petroleum reserves, setting off Persian Gulf War.(what is the difference between Sadaam going into their country for their oil and our going into Sadaam's country for THEIR oil?)East and West Germany reunite.The Republicans get a set back in the midterm elections.(hopefully like this year)
Gorbachev assumes emergency power.Leaders of 34 nations in Eur
ope and North America proclaim a united Europe.Margaret Thatcher resigns and is replaced by John Major and Lech Walesa wins Poland's runoff presidential election.
Prett
y interesting year...music was getting better but still..some of it sucked the big one...like:'Can't live without you'by Nelson.But Madona rocked with'Vogue and Justify Your Love,'I'm your baby tonight'by Whitney Houston,'Here and now'by Luthor Vandross,'Janie's got a gun'by Aerosmith,'Vision of love'by Mariah Carey,'I wanna be rich'by Calloway,'Rhythm Nation and Black Cat'by Janet Jackson,'Joey'by Concrete Blonde, and a song that I am embarrased to admit....I like...liked it then..like it now...'Ice Ice Baby'by Vanilla Ice. Ok..you can stop laughing now..cause...'You cant touch this'by MC Hammer(and now He can't touch his money..his house, his car...etc..cause he blew it all.)'It must Have been love and Dangerous'by Roxette,'Pump up the Jam'by Technotronic,'Cradle of Love'by Billy Idol,'This old heart of mine by Rod Stewart and Ronald Isley,'Here we are, Cuts both ways,and Oyo mi cantro'by Gloria Estefan,'Close to you'by Mad Priest, 'Everybody Everybody'by Black Box,'Heart of the Matter'by Don Henley,'Blaze of Glory'by Jon Bon Jovi,'Downtown Train'by Rod Stewart,'Tom's Diner'by Suzanne Vega,'Freedom'by George Michael,'Bad Love'by Eric Clapton,'Lambada'by Khaoma,'Step by Step'by New Kids On The Block,'Pictures of you'by Cure,and
'Unskin
ny Bop'by Poison.
ohhhh we'
re rocking now...get down,get dirty..get funky
(wavin
g one finger in the air)...wheeeee...
'Hungry'by Lita Ford,'Dirty Deeds'by Joan Jett,'All I wanna do is ma
ke love to you'by Heart,'L.A. Woman'by Billy Idol,
'Blac
k Velvet'by Alannah Myles,'Up all night'by Slaughter,
'Deadbe
at Club'by B-52's,'The way you do the things you do'by
UB-40,'All my life'by Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Nevil
le,'That's what I like and Swing the Mood'by Jive Bunny,
'Love wil
l lead you back'by Taylor Dayne,'Cherry Pie'by Warrant,'All around the world'by Lisa Stansfield and a song that I love by a singer I love,'From A Distance'by Bette Midler..'Epic'by Faith no more and a song that my oldest granddaughter would sing at the top of her lungs in the car seat..."Free Falling"..by Tom Petty.Who could ever forget 'Killers' by Seal,'Just like Jesse James'by Cher,'Wouldn't it be nice'by The Beach Boys,'Hold On'by En Vogue,'Hold On'by Wilson Phillips,'Summer Rain'by Belinda Carlisle,'Sacrifice'
by Elton John,'Love Shack'by B-52's,and that lovely lov
ely bald headed Irish lass...Sinead O'Connor's 'Nothing Compares
to you.'(got any pictures of the Pope you want ripped in two?)

'Advice for the young at heart'by Tears for Fears,'Bird on a Wire'by the Neville Brothers,'Right Here Right Now'by Jesus Jones,'Blue Sky Mine'by Midnight Oil,'Higher Ground'by Red Hot Chili Peppers,and a song by a group that I met in Waco at a convience store...I saw them all duded up in their rock and roll attire and said'are you anyone?'(im so slick) and the leader of the group (who's name escapes me..married to Kate what's her name..Goldie Hawn's daughter)said 'no, but we will be.'It was the week before they were to appear on MTV for the first time..So I got their autographs for the granddaughters..Which I am sure they lost..anyhow..'Hard to Handle'by the Black Crowes..
Country
music was still sounding like pop with fiddles to me, but I had my favorites like:'Friends in low places,'by Garth Brooks,'Come Next Monday'by K.T. Oslin(love that song),'Black Velvet'by Ronnie Lee,'Oh, Lonesome Me'by Kentucky Headhunters(wonder what ever happened to them?) and 'Silver Stallion'by the Highwaymen....
There were some pretty good movies and I have
seen them all..like Dances With Wolves,Reversal Of Fortune,Misery,Goodfellas,Ghost,Home Alone,Pretty Woman,Dick Tracy(stupid movie) and a great movie...Millers Crossing..
Stars f
lickered and went out...Ava Gardner, Greta Garbo,Capucine, Jill Ireland,Sammy Davis,Jr,Jim Hensen,Stevie Ray Vaughn and one of my all time favorites...Robert Cummings...so...was it good for you...since it was the second time for me....I will go have a smoke...nah....to make that a trifecta.I would have to have a beer and get laid...see you in '91...

32 comments:

Josh said...

Did you know that Sammy Davis Jr. was a member of the church of Satan? You can look him up and see pictures of him with Anton LaVey.

I can't imagine what roasting crickets smell like... probably best that I don't try to, either.

jan said...

Some children have no distinguishing talents. Farting to fill an elevator and giving the bird must have given them some social status.

Thanks for the memory trip. I seldom lol when I read blogs,and I get tired of reading lol, but when I read yours, I have to stop and wipe my eyes.

History according to Yellowdog Granny is without peer.

Ol' Lady said...

but what were you wearing????

tina said...

1990 - I was a junior or senior in high school depending on time of year. Man, wow, it's amazing how you put these posts together. Some years I think back, I can't remember a thing, guess some years just weren't that eventful to remember lol

But, thank ya for bringing back the memories of these times - it does the trick! :)

apositivepessimist said...

yep I remember that song...even when I see footage of him on the tele...I still sing frrreee ee nelson maan delaaah.

well frig...now its stuck in my head again.

yellowdog granny said...

Josh:i can't even think of something sooo nasty smelling to compare it to cooking crickets...but trust me..it is gross..i have changed many a dirty diaper and they were like channel #5 compared to the crickets..
Jan: ahh, thanks Jan that's sweet..and i want you to know that we in our family actually have our own handshake and it ends up with us flipping the other off..
we tried to work in the fart but we're not that coordinated..
Ol'lady: a tshirt that said 'I AM A VIRGIN'...and in small print...

this is a very old tshirt...
jeans and boots..
Tina: well this year will really stick with me..i had completely finished it..photos and all and fucking blogger ate it..so i had to re-rememeber and that was tougher than the first remember....did i just say that? i cant remember...

yellowdog granny said...

apos: really? i thought i was the only one staying up at 3am watching mtv and singing along to that song...all chicks...free nelson mandella.....free nelson mandella..
fuck now i cant get it out of my head.

and they did the same identical dance step...probably pretty much what he was doing in prison for 27 1/2 years..singing ...free nelson mandella...

Tom Harper said...

Whew! Thanks for the walk down memory lane. What a year. “All Around the World” by Lisa Stansfield — did you know she was a white girl from England? Sure blew me away when I read that; I was sure she was Black. Concrete Blonde — the only song I knew by them was “Heal It Up” (I think that’s the title); dynamite song.

And I’m old enough to remember the Bob Cummings Show (I assume that’s who Robert Cummings is). Wasn’t he this suave guy who got all the chicks, and his sidekick was this fat guy who was mostly interested in food? I think that’s the show I’m thinking of.

Great post.

BriteYellowGun said...

JS, you are the star of my blog today!

yellowdog granny said...

Tom:yup that was our bob...and the assistant that was always trying to get bob in bed played the maid on the brady bunch...alice..ahh bob cummings..i miss his humor...
dont know if you have been a reader long enought to know that 1990 is one of a series i have done starting out from 1959...did year by year like 1990..1991 will be next..woopee...
byg: you my hero...who knew you knew me soooo well, you would know of my musard adiction..?gee..and i thought i was just a star in my own mind...

Gail said...

This has nothing to do w/your post.I'm answering your post. The 2 scorpio's I know. First Jimmy the first love of my life wasn't very big.
The husband had a big penis. But I didn't like having sex w/him.

Babs1 said...

Ice, Ice baby... you nerd!!

leo myshkin said...

5 jobs!! you sound like a jamaican on in living color.

:P fuzzbox said...

I still sing free fallin' at the top of my lungs.

BTW, your guest post is up. You did a fucking amazing job. I can't remember the last time that I laughed so hard.

Anonymous said...

WOW!...You wrote all that twice?
I remember the Bob Cummings show.His secretary was the chick that played Alice on the Brady bunch..

Junebugg said...

I'm more likely to be homicidal than sucidial..... must be the Scorpio in me.

Read your guest post, give 'em hell Jackie! I know exactly what you mean about men, boobs, and brains. Must be because they have two heads and only enough bloodflow to power one at a time.

texlahoma said...

Fucking hardheaded crickets! I told them in 1989 that sheer numbers don't mean squat if you can't attack! Then they launched the massive invasion of 1990, poor bastards, never had a chance!

Nit Wit said...

I have had all kinds of trouble with blogspot the last few days. I have a lot of trouble posting comments or sometimes even reading them. You really need to create the posts in a word processor and save them before you go anywhere near blogspot.
1990, who knew there was music that year? I missed that part of the year.
I did finally get my youngest son started on the road to ruin that December.
My motto, "A little work goes a long way."
Not only do roasted crickets stink but when they are alive they make altogether too much noise.
So, did you eat the little pussy yet?

yellowdog granny said...

Gail: that cracks me up..thanks for the update.
babs: hey, it had a good beat and was easy to dance to..
leo: i was used to working a lot of jobs, did it back in the late 60's.
fuzz: i had fun doing that post...hey ya'll go to fuzz's beautyversusthebeast.blogspot.com/
and she my guest post..it was fun...
sling: yup twice..nearly made me nuts..yup i mentioned that in one of my replies on here someplace about her playing alice..
junebugg: hey, im a scorpio too..but dont think i was suicidal as just a glutton for punishment..funny enough ..im in to homicide too..
tex:yup, sucker them fuckers right up...enough to gag a maggot..

Nit Wit said...

So what's this guestblog Junebug is talking about? I feel so out of touch when I have trouble with blogspot.

Scottish Toodler said...

I remember that as the year that I stopped going to music shows and started going to movies. There was good music, but there wasn't alot of it. There is always so much I mean to say when I am reading these things and then I forget everything...Oh yeah, FREE NELSON MANDELA is the Specials or the Special AKA. They were a great ska band and the originators of the 2-Tone label. I must really be tapped into your wavelength because I was just listening to my 2_tone compilation and was thinking about posting on it.

Carina said...

Funny, I have Free Nelson Mandela on a compilation CD and always FF thru it. HATE that song. He's free, get over it I snarl at my CD player LOL.

apositivepessimist said...

well fuck I came back in here and now it's stuck there again.

yellowdog granny said...

nitwit: go to beautyandthebeast.blogspot.com/
i was asked by fuzz to do a guest post on 3 things men have in common that piss me off...i had fun...
scottish: i never did know who sang the song..just some lovely ladies ...thanks
Carina; free nelson mandella ...free nelson mandella...get that in your head and it will never come out
apos: blogger has been fucking up royal..i tried to read blogs last night and leave comments and couldnt..or it would take so long i would quit..locked up, all sorts of crap...what the fuck is the matter with it???

Lauren said...

Off topic, but I see TO didn't take long to fuck up in Dallas. . . What an asshole!!

1990. . . A year I would prefer to just forget. . .

Sue said...

I still think you have the makings of a great book Jackie Sue! Just don't use blogger to type it out .. ;)

Always enjoy my visits here .. :)

JBlue said...

"drunks are so funny."

Hey, you're pretty funny sober, too.

Wow, Ava Gardner was beautiful.

soonerfan78 said...

Jac, you never cease to amaze me.

Thanks for informing me of 1990, I don't remember much of it...let's just leave it at that.

soonerfan78 said...

Oh, and by the way, it ain't been the same with out Stevie Ray...

Lavender Dawn said...

its the music u listed and not the politics that brought me back to 90. It was a good year. i was 14/15. still don't like politics. now i know what songs to go illegally download. thanks.

yellowdog granny said...

lauren:hey how ya been?ohhh shit is brewing in dalls..this is better than my soaps..what a fuckup...judas priest..
sue:thanks..glad you like it here..i need an agent..anyone know one?
Jublue:...ava was the most beautiful hollywood star...i think..
sooner: if i can amaze you..my work here is done..and i miss stevie ray too.
dawn Marie: yeah, the music was pretty good that year...nice change from the 80's..

cyberoutlaw said...

Can't remember who it was, but someone told me that Hammer is a Navy vet.