I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Thursday, April 03, 2008

chezebugga...chezebugga



Well, fuck...my 2 days off is coming to an end...Yesterday I swept, swifter mopped, dusted, vacuumed, cleaned bathroom, cleaned kitchen, cleaned stove, planted my peppers and Japanese eggplants and read...didn't leave the house...would have slept longer than I did but Margaret decided to come wake me up...so as politely as I could I let her know that I work now and since I have to smile, chitchat and be cheerful, the last thing I want to do is do it on my day off...especially at 9am in the fucking morning..and I really didn't want anyone coming over before noon time as I am really starting to cherish my time off and like my solitude...maybe I shoulda been less polite..as she came to the house this am at 10:45..yes, normally I would have been up, but I wasn't and would probably still be sleeping (my ass was dragging after all the cleaning from yesterday)if she hadn't beat on the fucking door...I refused to answer it..but I was still fucking woke up...2 fucking days off and she wakes me up on both days...So I hauled out my chalk board and wrote:NO VISITORS, YES, THIS MEANS YOU..THANKS JACKIE.
It's been up maybe 5 minutes and Claudette from next door comes over to show me her face where she fell last night...excuse the fuck out of me...does this look like a face that gives a fuck?...Knock off the 6-pack night cap Claudette and you won't be falling on your face. Tomorrow when I see her go by the apartment I am going to go give her a bit of news..."Margaret, do you know what I have on my desk?..........it's an alarm clock, and when I want to be work up...I'LL SET THE FUCKING ALARM AND LET IT WAKE ME UP. Until it breaks and I have to buy a new one...I DON'T NEED A FUCKING WAKEUP IN THE MORNING."....is that too harsh?...I can only hope..I don't want to hurt any one's feelings...but you know what?...It's a dirty job..and some one's gotta do it..

The highlight of my day today is Bold Springs Baptist Church made cheezebugga's today...Called Babs and got her order, called work and asked if they wanted anything and then went to Bold Springs Community Center to pick them up..Did I ever mention that Bold Springs Baptist Church is the black church?...I told you it was 1957 here..They have their own church and community center.
They also make the best cheezebugga's around..It's the only food that I eat that I won't share with Annie..and it pisses her off...
When I talked to work to get the chezebugga order I talked to Thom and he asked me how my days off were, said all I did was clean yesterday and if it didn't get cleaned...fuckit..it was staying dirty..I told him I would be down to get the money for the chezebugga's as soon as I squeezed my tits in my bra...he was still laughing when I got to the store...and Inky got a hair cut and bleached his hair the same color as mine...I cracked up...Now we look like mother and son..I wore my Late Show online tshirt and to be cute I put the little round stickers that adhere to your clothes of Obama '08 right on each one of my boobs...right where the nipples would be...Figure that would be funny...except after I left the store I forgot to take them off and wasn't till I got home that I figured out why all the stockers at West Food Mart were doing double takes of me when I walked by..
It's official...the world is going to hell in a hand basket..I flipped thru the tv channels and there's ole Oprah...and who's she got on the show?....A woman who had a sex change to become a man and then got implanted with sperm so she is now pregnant..Judas fucking priest...you know as many children out there that desperately need some one to adopt them, and some asshole decides to do this just so they can get their 15 minutes of fame and be on the Oprah show just chaps my ass..and I have a lot of ass to chap..someone should bip that Dr. and take away their license...She wanted to be a man, fine, I'll all for that...I think that's her/his decision and no body's business, but if she didn't want to be a woman but wanted a baby, why didn't she do it the old fashioned way and then have her operation..She gave up her rights to do 'female' things when she became a he..or am I wrong...? Hell, who knows...
fuckme till I grow balls..

26 comments:

Gadfly said...

Heh

Let's get together and put Charlie Pride on the juke ;-)

Big Pissy said...

I've been seeing that dude/chick(?) all over the fucking place.....


if he/she/it really wanted to just have a baby....he/she/it wouldn't be all over the news. it would be a private matter.

and I'm all about gay pride, people's right to do whatever the hell they want....but don't do it and then make a big deal out of it.

Just do it and shut the fuck up.

/rant

lol

tsduff said...

I never have to watch tv anymore - I just tune in to your blog LOL!!! I love your humor - man alive, wish it would rub off on me a little bit. I'm as dry as bone most of the time, but I can and do appreciate great humor when I see it. You are a gem. I read that thing about the person on Oprah - I agree. Miracle my ass.

Jobkiller said...

This is one reason why I hate working early mornings, and haven't done so in 10 years. Some poor soul gets the task of waking me up and I am evil beyond belief in the morning. That's why I currently work nights--which is now turning me insane. Ah, if only all this affiliate marketing would pay off, I could die without wanting to kill quite so many people!

Big Tex said...

I just spit Coke all over my keyboard hearing about your Obama pasties. :-)

The weird thing (well, one of the weird things) about that guy (girl?) who got pregnant is that he never actually had sex reassignment surgery because he wanted to keep his giggy, and he was just taking testosterone. So when he decided to get preggers, he stopped taking the hormones and since he still had the equipment, getting pregnant was a simple matter of finding a donor and a turkey baster. I'm not sure why they keep going on the news about a man getting pregnant because technically he's not a man, although he self-identifies as such. When they first started talking about the story, I thought they were referring to someone who actually had a dick and the works. Hearing the actual story, though, it's not all that unusual. Well, okay, it's still kind of unusual, but not in the whole "anatomically impossible" way that I thought at first.

old enough to moan said...

Pregnant Man? It's a woman in pants is all!

----------------------------

YDG - I did the same with a note when our first child was born, I put a note up telling folk to F-Off until we had time to settle in, that was 20 years ago and I dont think the family have forgiven me since.

Nit Wit said...

Obama Pasties. I think you just added another layer to the Jackiesue Legend in West. I bet it would be real entertaining to go around town asking people what they know or have heard about you. Tell them it's a study of eccentric residents.
I wonder if you have become a draw at the dollar store. Come on Mom let's go to the dollar store and see what Jackiesue is doing today.
I've been working nights for over 30 years and I have a simple solution. I don't have a phone that rings in the bedroom and I just don't answer the door even if the noise does wake me up. I have also learned to live on very little sleep. Even now though when someone in the family wakes me up they seem to think the word sorry will magically replace several hours of sleep. I wonder what the people in the church thought. That lady is wearing picture stickers on her boobs but it is Obama so it must be OK. You may have unwittingly started a new fashion craze. You could make a mint if you market it right.

billy pilgrim said...

i hear the chinese are working on a plan to turn a woman into a turtle so she can lay a few hundred eggs that grow up to work in sweat shops making nike sneakers.

yellowdog granny said...

gadfly:did you ever hear about the story of when charlie pride started out and no one would go see him cause he was black...so willie nelson had him on his tour and the first time charlie sang, willie came out and kissed him full on the mouth and said 'i love this guy' and walked off...things were a lot better after that for ole charlie..
big pisssy:what a crock ..im just now finding out he/she never had the operation...so it's just a woman having a baby..them people are sick..
tsduff:i always think my version of the news is better than what you can get on cnn..ha
jobkiller:one of my favorite responses to 'how ya doing?' is 'body counts low, and i try to get it all done before friday cause you know how hard it is to get a good lawyer on the weekend..
bigtex:obama pasties..the latest rage..
oetm:that's exactly right..
nitwit:im going to tell thom i should get extra pay for bring in all the 'lookieloos'...ha.
I could put little tassles on the obama pasties and sell them at the conventions..haha
billypilgrim:..dang what a spooky idea..they're probably working on it right now..

sageweb said...

Wow, all I can think of is I want a god blessed cheeseburger right now.

kath said...

jac....you sound a mite grumpy....

Woozie said...

AIDSburger in paradise

Mimi said...

Shit you got some illiterate people knocking on your door. I hope that is there excuse and not that they think that they are so special your sign does not apply to them. Next time your takin cheeseburger orders I want one. You always make me so damn hungry.

BTW~I put a comic on my blog that made me think of you.

yellowdog granny said...

sage:they really are good, but the french fries were a little too much like my second husband....soft and limp...
kath:nah, not grumpy in general..just pissed at margaret who seems the rules dont apply to her..
woozy:uh.....'k
mimi;hey..your back..will go check you out...glad to see ya...

Nit Wit said...

You need a flashing red light and a danger sign. Turn it on whenever you want to be alone.

yellowdog granny said...

nitwit;you know..that's not a bad idea..but it would be flashing 'danger will robinson danger' all the time..

Sling said...

A couple nights ago,one of my neighbors came knocking on my door,waking me up at 11:00 pm,to ask to borrow some fucking money!..It boggles the mind.
..Chick/dude is creepy.

rebecca said...

I agree with you on the preggoman.

Think about what it's going to be like to be that kid!!! That's not fair to the kid, especially now that he's parading around on TV like "look at me! I'm a pregnant man!" and Oprah thinks it's great because it's giving us a "new definition of diversity!"

Go diversify all you want, but don't drag a kid into that media circus!

tina said...

hehe i like that....cheezbugga :P

i hadnt heard of a japanese eggplant, i'll have to look that one up!

hope your weekend is great :)

Big Tex said...

Cuz, next time you should just put a sign on your door with "FUCK OFF" written on it in big red letters. For an added touch, maybe leave a human skull on the welcome mat... :-)

buddha_girl said...

I loathe when I'm able to sleep in but have people waking me up instead! RUDE MORONS.

I wish you'd had the genius moment to put some tassles on your pasties. Don't you think Thom would have seen a huge increase in customers? Shit, you may have had someone take your pictures and been ON Letterman this time!

apositivepessimist said...

I remember my CatWeasel days and ways fondly. One day I will be able to revert back. Yeah just as soon as I get out of someone else’s house. FuckMe No I don’t want you visiting on my only day off…FuckMe No I don’t want you ringing at 7.30 in the am.

Inky wants to be you when he grows up. Much like a few of us.

yellowdog granny said...

sling:oh i would loved to heard your side of that conversation..
rebecca:what pisses me off is i at least thought oprah would have more class than to have he/she on the show..maury povitch maybe, but not oprah...
tina:japanese eggplants are like reg.one's except longer and have a meatier taste...i love em...i can hear you giggling out there guys..
bt:im trying to be nice about it cause i do like margaret..but if that fails..the jackie bitch will raise her evil head and chop off one or two in the bargain..
bg:im thinking of making obama pasties...and maybe hillary merkins....(ahahahah, oh that made me laugh)
apos:inky got me good last night called me at home and said i was $150 short on my register..after my heart started beating again...i threatened to kick his ass..he was hysterical with laughter...

That Rude Girl said...

Fortunately, I've never had people knocking at my door in the early morning hours but I hate getting early morning phone calls on the weekends. People should not call before 9 AM on weekends, unless it is an emergency!!!!

As for that "man" having a "miracle" baby, BULL$HIT! That is not a "miracle" because he used to be a female and just never got his ovaries removed when he decided to become a "male". I don't see why people are interested in this. It's not rocket science; there is no medical mystery here.

On 20/20 last week, they said the reason "he" was having the baby was because his wife couldn't get pregnant. I think the whole thing is stupid and with all the other crap in the world going on -- THE ECONOMY!!!!!!!!! -- it infurates me that the media is giving this jack-a$$ his 15 minutes of fame.

The media wouldn't pay any attention to the only Presidential candidate who could beat Pain McCain (John Edwards) but they give airtime to this garbage? Thanks to them, we're going to be stuck with another war monger unless Hillary and Obama start shaping up!

Josh said...

Really, I'm not fond of *anyone* getting pregnant these days, men or women. There are too many kids tossed aside and left to fend for themselves to justify a "grow your own" approach to parenting.

Allan said...

Political pasties!