I'm a liberal pagan living in West,Texas..yes that West,Texas

Saturday, October 14, 2006

..............JEST 'FORE CHRISTMAS..............

Ok, picture Jackiesue,12,with titties,can't get around them titties,with little Lord Fauntleroy curls, pantaloons,cap and barefoot.At the Christmas pagent where I got up on stage and recited this poem...word for word..acting my skinny ass off,like I was Sarah Bernhart staring on broadway. I even took little bows and blew kisses..jeez..I was such a ham..

Jest 'Fore Christmas
by Eugene Field (1850-1895)

Father calls me William, sister calls me Will,
Mother calls me Willie, but the fellers call me Bill!
Mighty glad I ain't a girl---ruther be a boy,
Without them sashes, curls, an' things that 's worn by Fauntleroy!
Love to chawnk green apples an' go swimmin' in the lake---
Hate to take the castor-ile they give for bellyache!
'Most all the time, the whole year round, there ain't no flies on me,
But jest 'fore Christmas I 'm as good as I kin be!

Got a yeller dog named Sport, sick him on the cat;
First thing she knows she does n't know where she is at!
Got a clipper sled, an' when us kids goes out to slide,
'Long comes the grocery cart, an' we all hook a ride!
But sometimes when the grocery man is worrited an' cross,
He reaches at us with his whip, an' larrups up his hoss,
An' then I laff an' holler, "Oh, ye never teched me!"
But jest 'fore Christmas I 'm as good as I kin be!

Gran'ma says she hopes that when I git to be a man,
I 'll be a missionarer like her oldest brother, Dan,
As was et up by the cannibuls that lives in Ceylon's Isle,
Where every prospeck pleases, an' only man is vile!
But gran'ma she has never been to see a Wild West show,
Nor read the Life of Daniel Boone, or else I guess she 'd know
That Buff'lo Bill an' cowboys is good enough for me!
Excep' jest 'fore Christmas, when I 'm good as I kin be!

And then old Sport he hangs around, so solemnlike an' still,
His eyes they seem a-sayin': "What's the matter, little Bill?"
The old cat sneaks down off her perch an' wonders what's become
Of them two enemies of hern that used to make things hum!
But I am so perlite an' tend so earnestly to biz,
That mother says to father: "How improved our Willie is!"
But father, havin' been a boy hisself, suspicions me
When, jest 'fore Christmas, I 'm as good as I kin be!

For Christmas, with its lots an' lots of candies, cakes, an' toys,
Was made, they say, for proper kids an' not for naughty boys;
So wash yer face an' bresh yer hair, an' mind yer p's and q's,
An' don't bust out yer pantaloons, and don't wear out yer shoes;
Say "Yessum" to the ladies, and "Yessur" to the men,
An' when they 's company, don't pass yer plate for pie again;
But, thinkin' of the things yer 'd like to see upon that tree,
Jest 'fore Christmas be as good as yer kin be!


zero said...

RE: your comment- you are more than welcome to come up any time you want- just let me know in advance so i can take off work and we can hang out watching movies for a week...

JDaaris said...

Hey girl, I've always like this poem, tho never knew who "writ" it.. 12 years old with a boozum, eh? Me too. Them's the breaks, ain't they? :)

Anonymous said...

Hey I still have electricity, Bruce got his dis. check and we got our BIG PC out of the shop and it works like a charm. Thank you Goddess!

By the way the visual in this post made me pee my pants from laughing so hard. :)

JBlue said...

I loved that poem when I was a kid! That was right up there with Casey at the Bat.

Lauren said...

Yep. . . Age 12 with boobs was unusual in our day. Now they seem to be born with a B-Cup LOL!

BTW: Thanks for the ass-kickin' in the fantasy league last night. . . I was so pissed when Yeley took Mark out with that dumbass move. . . GGGRRRRRR!!

texlahoma said...

I was kind of overweight when I was 12, yep I had man boobs! Was hoping for a Manzere or a Bro for Christmas.

Anonymous said...

Hi, cool blog...just wanderin in from the other side of Texas, Austin.

yellowdoggranny said...

prince;man i couldnt get over the great movies you have...it would take a month of solid viewing to see them all.
jdaaris:and do you know with a little prompting..i can still recite it...and remember all the little expressions, finger waving and the works that i did when i did it the first time..holy shit..50 years ago...
nancy: so glad you are doing ok..wish my computer was working right..have 19 virus's on it..what the hell was norton doing? taking a nap?
jublue: when i did the post..i didnt think anyone would remember it but me..ha....it should be done every year at all schools...
lauren:hell my first bra was a c cup and i was 10...2 of my granddaughters are the same way..actually jenny is bigger...scary..i dont know how i am doing so well in the fanatsy game..dont know crap about it..
bbriver:i bet you were a cutie...did you have a crewcut?..boots? roper, punk,nerd..??
glenda: howdy from austin...my old stomping grounds..lived on steiner ranch off 620...

Anonymous said...

Wow, I used to know a guy named Eugene Field. Much younger, of course. But I doubt that he could even read a poem, much less write one!

apositivepessimist said...

no doubt you were a hit then...just like you are now.

Babs1 said...

You still are a ham!

Rowan Dawn said...

im a tard, i just noticed your header image is of two people. doh!

yellowdoggranny said...

cyberoutlaw:so you didnt hang with people that could read or write poetry...hmmmm
apos:well, i didnt get a standing ovation or anything..but i think they liked it..i had a great time..
babs:ham?yup..but not cured...
dawnmarie: i bet there are still lots of people that think it is just a pile of rocks in the water..everyone..look at the header and tilt your head to the left...surprise...

pissed off patricia said...

Jeezz, that's a long as hell poem for a little kid to learn. Hell, I'd take a bow to if I had done it. Good for you.

Anonymous said...

A side of you I would not have suspected...an adorable little actress...with an incredible memory by the way. We were relatively retarded where i grew up. Quatrains were all we could manage.

yellowdoggranny said...

pissed of patricia: what a great name..haha i still can say it..i may go to the school and see if i can talk some kid into learning it and doing it for the christmas play.............nah...
Jan: it's weird that i could remember it then and still remember it now..im famous for not remembering the lyrics to songs...even my very favorite ones...idiot savant..with out the savant..

Nit Wit said...

I'm not surprised you remember it. Your memory puts the rest of us to shame. I do think that if it was suggested by a teacher there was another motive. Maybe they were hoping it would inspire you to change. Glad to see it didn't work.
Hey today is my work anniversary, 12 years of slinging bread. I have reached the pinnacle of my profession.
By the way I am 50 and I'm finally getting boobs.
Been one all my life really.

Unknown said...

Man I wish I had your memory!
The more I look at your header, the more things I see!
Besides the Goddess and the praying child, there's a face in the cliff to the right, a monster picking it's nose, an indian, a bear and I'll just stop there. Wouldn't want to ruin the hunt for others

yellowdoggranny said...

nitwit:actually we were told to pick something to do for the christmas play..and i found the poem and knew i had to do it..for another play i dressed up in a black and white stripped shirt with black pants and sang jail house rock...i could do that hip thing pretty good and the lip twitch was easy..i had reallly long blond hair and was swishing it around like crazy...years later daddy said ann margaret stole her act from me that day.haha....
happy anniversary ..12 happy years huh?'50? i have underwear older than that....happy birthday too...
junebugg: how many times do i have to tell you?.....it's 2 every 4 hours not 4 every 2 hours...monster picking his nose? oooooooooooooooooookay

JBlue said...

YDG, I have a huge book of poetry for children, and that poem is in there. I loved that book as a kid.