Well, maybe not smoked me..but she sure lit me up and left me puffing...Margaret came by this afternoon about 12:30 and I laced up my high top converses and off we went....Margaret comes up to maybe my chin and weighs about 110lbs..about the size of my left leg..She walks slower than I do, but I didn't mind slowing my pace down as she is doing me the favor by including me in her little jaunt around the apartment complex and she is a sweet little ole lady..By the 2rd trip around, I had found out she was a Dallas Cowboys fan and also yelled at the the tv set. But I'm sure she doesn't yell 'catch that mother fucker, asshole.'....she just yells, 'run'. I never noticed before how beady her little squinty eyes are...By the 3th trip around I found out tha
t she also despises Bush...glory glory...there is a Goddess and she loves us all.. She is starting to get on my nerves with her smirk and giggles when I start to stagger, reel and trip over my now untied shoe laces on my scuffed up tennis shoes...By the 4th lap I was starting to see little dots of light in front of me and the sweat was popping out on my forehead and my legs were starting to cramp up on me..but I also found out that she too thinks Bush's mother is a mean ole bitty and there is another lady in the apartment complex that also hates Bush and his George Washington looking mother..What was I thinking when I said I wanted to take a fucking walk with this marathon running hag? The 5th trip around I was staring lovingly at the bench in front of the laundry room and wondered if this old bitch was kin to the energizing fucking bunny who just keeps on going...When we finally got to the fork in the walk to go back to the apartment, I was gasping and sucking air into my lungs like a hover vacuum cleaner...'Is this the 6th lap ?'I gasped out clutc
hing the side of the building..."are we done yet?'This seemingly sweet little old lady who I know for a fact harbors the heart of a 12 year old and the legs of Serena Williams, replied..'oh yes, we're all done, I sometimes do this 2-3 times a day, you're more than welcome to come with me later on today..'..
No thanks I wheezed...I think I have to take a nap.'....
I swear to the Goddess, she was skipping when she went down the sidewalk to her apartment...while I hobbled off clutching my side and wheezing like an accordion shot full of holes..
fuckme till I'm 75...
16 comments:
Hi Granny,
Just wanted to say thanks for reading my long ass post and sorry I made your eyes go crossed! Your post made me realize I better get my ass back to the gym. I just turned 40 but sometimes I feel like I'm 75. Fuck work, it makes us old! ;-)
I have laughing tears in my eyes....LOL
glad you found a new friend... hehe
every now and then, I send anti-bush cartoons and stuff to the IT guy at work. It is fun because we are not allowed to use school email for stuff like that, and also, because he is a right wing republican. When he sends me the official email on STOP IT YOU!!!!!
I write him notes on paper towel and slip them under his door. Then I avoid him like the plague when i see him hin the halls...
tame maybe but, i find it entertaining .
hmm how did i get so off topic?
anyway... have a blast today my friend... and then write about it!
hugs
k
*cackle* a classic jackieSue post.
maybe once she got into her apartment she collapsed, thinking HA! sure showed that newbie, mighta near killed me but I showed 'er.
Hehehe LOVED This post, thanks for my morning smile JS. ... :)
brettman: thanks for stopping by..the longer you put off the exercise..the harder it is...trust me..this I found out the hard way..
Kath: when I first got my computer and started meeting people on line I met this girl in denver and we had a great friendship going ..then election time came up and she figured since i was from texas i was for bush her 'little man'...I freaked out...it really put a damper on our friendship..but I'm proud to say..she has seen the light..she said I was right all along and wish that she had listened to me...so keep it up..it may take yet..
glad you liked the post..
apos: I would love to think that is what happened, but like I said, she's been doing this for 13 years...I think I was holding her back..but I'm raring to go again today...well, maybe not raring..
sue:thanks...I'm glad so many people are getting so much enjoyment from my suffering.
You have to pace yourself. Them old biddies steal your life force by showing you up.
I think you get to a certan point and don't give a shit anymore about living and that gives you a special power to beat death at least for a short time.
I hope that is what it is anyway. I don't want to be second banana to someone older than me, except for you that is.
old people are tough. my 85 year old dad can chop wood way better than me. i think it's because they worked so hard when they were young.
maybe the old girl had better shoes?
Sweet little old ladies have been known to suck the life force out of the unsuspecting while pretending to have the same loves and hates. they are evil. be forewarned.
The mental picture of that post had me roaring!!!
Stick with that little dynamo JS. . . She has the right idea. Walking is the best thing you can do for your diabetes. My father walks 2 miles a day @ 77 and he's in the best shapes he's been in 25 years.
In 3 months you'll be kickin' ass and takin' names on the walking paths. . .LOL!!!
Love ya!!!
HUGGSS!!
nit wit: i went with her today and man,my hips hurt..and I don't get it...I feel and look older and she looks like she's 65 instead of 75..I think she IS sucking the life force out of me..You can be my second banana any time ..
Ruby:what shoe is better than converse?...although I might wear my other ones tomorrow and see if it helps with the pain in my hips..
Jan: see above..i do..i do..i think she is leeching the life right out of me...probably is really a republican and using the "I hate bush dodge to trap me into walking with her."
Laura: went again today and it was easier..think tomorrow I will walk to the library..it's about 4tenths of a mile..up and same back..although I may crawl back..or hitch a ride with some one..if i live for 3 months...we'll see..ha...
LOL This was so funny and I can so relate to it, thank you for sharing. I have finally added some regular exercise to my diet plans (30 minutes a day on a stationary bike, up to level 2 now after about 5 weeks and up to 45 reps on my core flex - sorta of like doing tummy crunches but with support) - its tough and I know I will never ever enjoy exercise but I'll keep trying to do it at least. I wanted to shoot a skinny coworker this afternoon but for very different reasons - I posted about it over our The Incredible Shrinking Ladies blog. Lady Rose
And there I was-- a quarter straight up a ridge chasing my run-away puppy expecting any moment to drop dead from a heart attack. Tombstone to read "He Died For A Dog." I know your pain-- I stumbled back home and collapsed in my recliner and fell asleep watching ST:TNG.
hehehehe - you crack me up! It's great you found a like-minded buddy.
Sounds like me when I went back to Curves for the first time in ages (that was yesterday) My calf muscles are sore as hell today!
yeah I didn't really think so either.
you'll put her in 'er place right quick. heh.
If you want fucked till your 75 you got alot of catching up to do!;-)
She sounds like a fun one. It is nice to know that not everyone in Texas supports Bush out of stubborn pride. I hate when people support something or someone for that reason.
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