I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

.......DAMN YOU WILL SHORTZ.......

Damn you to hell!....In case you don't do the New York Times crossword puzzles, you may not know who Will Shortz is..he's the smart ass that makes up the puzzles..Now I'm not the best puzzle solver or the worse,I'm probably some where in the middle(but I do them in pen)..They start off pretty easy on Monday..and as the week progresses..they get harder..By the time Sunday comes around I have settled on a
ahhh fuckit attitude..Thursday's is when they start really getting hard for me..but I can usually do it...Friday, Saturday and Sunday kicks my ass...So today when I started my Wednesday paper I was surprised at the difficulty of it..then I discovered there was not only an 'across and a down' there was a fucking diagonal..one word..and I have only filled in about 9 words..what the fuck?...So I spent 30 minutes googling Will Shortz so I could send him a email telling him to go to hell...but I can't find him..so this will have to do...Show off little fucker...
Today was an interesting day for me and ole Babs..We had to go search out the notorious shade tree mechanic Vincent..We found him once, he slipped our radar made it to the homestead then he threw up his mother for a blockade..'he's asleep already'...it wasn't even 7pm..yeah right..so we found Vincent and found we needed to do all the footwork...Went to Ace Auto Parts to find out if the pan where the leak was from had a seal or a gasket..Nothing..then I called the Mitzibutiziehezhtr..dealer..what ever the name of her SUV is...(I kept asking her..what's the matter with a Ford...or even a Mazda..I can pronounce them).and I talked to 5 different departments and Donnie 3 times(Donnie was starting to piss me off and I gave him some Jackiesue attitude)...I eventually found out that there is no seal, no gasket...you just take the pan apart clean it up and reseal it with silicone..We also went to the Dollar General where the cashier thought I was Babs mother..told her you might want to nip that rumor in the bud..you know..guilt by association.She said every person she met mentioned that we used to get into trouble together...But the best part was driving around going 'ashplunk'...fake sneeze and say aaaaaashplunk...what sound do you make if you fall out of a tree and hit the ground...aahhahahahahahah ashplunk...we were laughing our asses off...The reason we were being goofy is I saw the orange trucks of Asplundk the tree trimmers..I think that' s how it's spelled..but we decided it was a funny word and it became the word of the day..Doesn't take much to amuse us..We also decided since Vincent was only going to charge her $40 to take the pans apart and reseal them that maybe a 12 pack of beer thrown in would be nice too..but then we decided that maybe AFTER the job got done would be a better idea..It don't take much for Vincent to get side tracked..

He is the greatest guy, and a wonderful mechanic, but he is as I said today...' flakier than a buttermilk biscuit'..

I'm thinking about taking Babs to Wolf's to watch the Cowboys game...everyone needs to see me in action at Wolf's at least once in their life..Just hope that guy I bipped upside the head isn't there...jeez...I am working on a post about nekkid people dancing and having sex in Dallas...but wanted to tell you about the Babs and Jackie Adventures...We will soon be called Lavern and Shirley..if we can figure out which one will be Lavern...

8 comments:

Nit Wit said...

Gee, nobody around. I guess I can do anything I want now and nobody will know.
It's always a good idea to wait till the work is done before giving the liquid portion of the payment. You got yourself a sidekick now. Look out people of West.
Remember Penny Marshall is a high powered Producer/Director in Hollywood, and she's also rich.

Kinda spooky around hear with no comments. It's freaking me out.
I be back later.

Paul said...

Damn Jackie Sue get excited girl! My brother is a Giants fan by the way, but I'll pull for the Cowboys in this one. My team is the Eagles. :-)

billy pilgrim said...

it's the best feckin weekend of the year for the nfl, 2 good games each day. i hope the cowboys plant mr manning in turf, smoke the giants and have jerry jones get so excited he has a heart attack after the game.

Babs said...

hehehe... I talked about the same things on my blog. We're going to start to put people asleep. Mine is a little different.
How's my banana bread coming along?

yellowdog granny said...

nitwit:I usually get in more trouble with a side kick then when I'm on my own...having an on hand audience inclines to press me into doing more shit than I normally would...
paul:I love doing my crossword puzzles..and ole Will is a burden to bear..He makes them soo hard..yah, I'll be rooting for my cowboys...make it 3 in a row against the giants..
billypilgrim:these are the 4 best games all year..and so much is on the line...we'll see who fills out them jock straps the best...Jerry Jones is the devil..he can't die..
babs:yeah, same stuff ..different versions.ha..I'm making the banana bread tonight..the bananas weren't ripe enough..they need to get mushier...
what's on tv?

Kalibitch said...

Mechanic stalking - you go girl.
Hmm - upcoming post with naked dancing people... i can't wait!

You and Babs tearing up the town, West, Texas is really in for it now.

Allan said...

Hhaha! I was gonna tell you about my Asplundh exploits but nekkid dancing fucking in Dallas sounds more interesting.

yellowdog granny said...

kalibitch:oh we are going to get in sooo much trouble..
allan:the nekkid dancing/fucking article in the DAM news cracked me up...
i figured out how to spell it..aspludnh...they are the city of west's tree trimmers..and are all over town..