I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Monday, January 28, 2008

THE SKY IS FALLING




A very large spy satellite has lost power(no one knows exactly when or how this happened)and could strike earth in late February or early March. The satellite, which can't be controlled, could contain hazardous materials, and it's unknown where on the planet it might come down.The officials who related this story spoke on condition of anonymity because the information is classified as secret.(yeah...its so secret, you blabbed to anyone that held a microphone in your face, you dipshit)
The spacecraft contains hydrazine, which is rocket fuel. Hydrazine, a colorless liquid with an ammonia-like odor, is a toxic chemical and can cause harm to anyone who contacts it.
This uncontrolled re-entry could risk exposure of U.S. secrets.(like me sitting here in my underwear typing this post)
The spacecraft weighs about 20,000 pounds and is the size of a small bus. it would create 10 times less debris than the Columbia space shuttle crash in 2003.(which was scattered over parts of Texas)
Jeffrey Richelson, a senior fellow with the National Security Archive, said the spacecraft likely is a photo reconnaissance satellite.(didn't they just say that this is a national secret?..yet we have a jerkoff from the national Security Archive spilling his guts) Such eyes in the sky are used to gather visual information from space about adversarial governments and terror groups(like the people that talk smack about George W. Bush in the US of A.), including construction at suspected nuclear sites or military training camps. The satellites also can be used to survey damage from hurricanes, fires and other natural disasters.(yet, why is it I feel like that satellite is full of pictures of everyone in the Democratic party and every liberal group in America...including me in my underwear?)
So...lets see...we have a spy satellite that is out of control, contains hazardous materials, has been off the grid for over a year, it's a national secret and yet here I am doing a post on it...Yupper, the sky is falling alright..and it's a national fucking secret..so don't tell anyone...
But when someone hands me lemons...I make lemon meringue pie...so I think we should take advantage of this golden opportunity...If and when we know exactly when and where this satellite is going to smack down, we should gather up all those end of world predictors and place them gently in the middle of the area...It's called making good use of a golden opportunity...ya, wanna go to Jesus?...well, here's your chance..And if and when you see Jesus?...tell him I said howdy...

15 comments:

apositivepessimist said...

I remember when skylab was falling, some of the yrs eleven and twelves wore hardhats to school, I’m sure it was a good sight joke for those that had a clue what it was all about.

Ooh good idea, I have a few jesus jockeys that could do with a big smack to the head…I’ll see if they have bus fare to Texas.

sageweb said...

Oh my god...Picturing you in your underwear typing a post is priceless. Too funny. Wow so many people have funny/happy shit on their blogs today. I love it great way to start the week.

RoxRocks said...

I read about this too...the last time one fell, it landed in some obscure out of the way place and no one was harmed. The news media should actually report on the news instead of the "What If" news. I like that you blog in your underwear, is that weird?

I'm totally not hitting on you, I swear. :)

Buzzardbilly said...

I followed your first bit of pictured advice and now all I can think about is meth heads foraging the burning hulk of the space junk for copper to sell for more meth.

Well, that's not all I can think of. Mmmm. Brown sugar and cinnamon Pop-Tarts.

texlahoma said...

When skylab was falling Taco Bell? Had a thing floating in the ocean, if skylab hit it, everyone in the U.S. would get a free taco. It missed damn it!

Babs said...

I want free Taco Bell! I heard about this thing on the radio yesterday. I guess I wasn't too concerned about it since I forgot about it till now.
Nit made some sort of comment that you might be drugging the brownies.....
Wanna take bets on how long it takes Vince to check out your truck?

Kalibitch said...

The aliens did it and it's going to land on Texas. Betcha.

jan said...

Don't you get cold typing in your underwear?

Autumn said...

Oh great, we are all going to die. Well at lest we won't have to wait until dec. 21, 2012 like all the doomsday folks are whinning about

yellowdog granny said...

apos: yup...send 'em to jesus..
sage:you mean everyone doesn't blog in their drawers?...dang!
rox:for some reason me sitting around at the computer in my drawers makes people laugh..trust me..it's a lot funnier in person...
buzzardbilly:I never got into pop tarts...I like toast with cinnamon sugar on it though..
tex:damn..free tacos?..I would have shot the sucker down for a free taco..
babs:no phone call from vince yet..I may never see my truck again...
kalibitch:we have enough fucking aliens in texas...maybe the satillite will fall on a bunch of them...
jan:usually i only sit around in my drawers during the summer time..but for some reason I got drawn to the computer this morning while i was getting dressed...my top and drawers was as far as i got before i had this uncontrollable urge to check my mail...and you know how that goes...

tsduff said...

I'm half chicken (chicken little and I are related) so give me some slack. Help!

Allan said...

Didja see the 'Gilligan' s Island' whera satellite landed near the castaways? If they had eBay back then they'd be set.

angel said...

i love lemon meringue pie...

Josh said...

It will probably land in the ocean, and the government will breathe a sigh of relief, as it will only kill dumb old sea life. Then again, that might upset them if it cuts into the fishing industry.

sexy said...

情趣用品,A片,AIO,AV,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,日本AV,寄情築園小遊戲,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色文學,色情,色情遊戲,一葉情貼圖片區,色情網站,色情影片,微風成人, 嘟嘟成人網,成人,成人貼圖,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人影片,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,080視訊聊天室,視訊聊天室

a片,色情影片,情色電影,a片,色情,情色網,情色,av,av女優,成人影城,成人,色情a片,日本av,免費成人影片,成人影片,情色a片,sex,免費a片,a片下載,免費a片下載,成人網站,做愛,自拍

情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣

情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品
情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品.情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣
視訊聊天室

情色,AV女優,UT聊天室,聊天室,A片,視訊聊天室


UT聊天室,視訊聊天室,辣妹視訊,視訊辣妹,情色視訊,視訊,080視訊聊天室,視訊交友90739,美女視訊,視訊美女,免費視訊聊天室,免費視訊聊天,免費視訊,視訊聊天室,視訊聊天,視訊交友網,視訊交友,情人視訊網,成人視訊,哈啦聊天室,UT聊天室,豆豆聊天室,
聊天室,聊天,色情聊天室,色情,尋夢園聊天室,聊天室尋夢園,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,柔情聊天網,小高聊天室,上班族聊天室,080中部人聊天室,中部人聊天室,成人聊天室,成人