I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Friday, February 29, 2008

GAINFULLY EMPLOYED

Yes, the unbelievable has happened...I have a job..I start...well, I'm not sure when I start...maybe Monday, maybe Thursday...When Babs and I were doing our 4 fucking hour tour of West business's, singing Janis Joplin and making fun of the help at said business's...I got a job offer..My friend Inky is the assistant manager at the Family Dollar and asked me if I was interested in working..I said, yeah, but it would have to be part time and if I made too much money it would make my rent go up, so probably couldn't work much more than 20 hours a week(don't think I can handle standing on my feet for much longer than that a week either).So I went in today and talked to Thom the manager and filled out the application and took it back..I knew he would already be gone so I gave it to Inky and said most of the places I had worked were out of business except for Hastings and he said, 'hell, it doesn't matter, you already have the job.'...He said Thom said I would probably start Monday(he told me Thursday)...so one of the two..He asked me if I had any days I couldn't work and I said no, except during Football season that I couldn't work when the Cowboys were playing...He laughed, and I said, no, I'm serious..I can't work and miss the Cowboys..I can work while they're on, but I don't think you'd like me at the register with ear phone hooked to a radio and me screaming 'run mother fucker run'... He assured me they could work around the Cowboy's schedule..
As for Babs and my little 4 fucking hour jaunt into town..you can read about it on her blog...All I will say is I think we sang 'Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz, my friends all drive Porsche's I must make amends...'just fucking beautiful'...When I hit that really high note on Worked hard all my life time ...well, dogs howl...and baby's cry...it's a thing of beauty...Babs has some fetish about weird yard toys...I insisted she get some gnomes, but she has an aversion to them...which is why I went and bought one and I'm going to sneak over to her house tonight and plant it right in the middle of her flowers...It's a little gnome with a shovel...I call him 'Dude'....We went to the used shit store, where we ran into one of the other little ole ladies from the Apts. she sort of reminds me of the absent minded witch on Bewitched...Then we hit the hardware store, where I was pissed to find out that bird seed went up from $3.99 to $4.49 for a 20 lb. bag...jeez Louise...Found some more flower/vegetable seeds...only found basil for herbs...Westites think paprika and pepper are the only spices and the only herb is...well, I don't think they use herbs...We hit both grocery stores and both Dollar stores, went to Jack & Diane's where we got to meet Jack and Diane...Jack is huge and Diane was busy counting the money from the machines...I shot a game of pool and sucked big time..I can't see to play with these damn bi-focals...Babs had BBQ sandwich with fries and banana pudding...I had a cheeseburger and a unsweetened tea...I should have waited till Bold Springs Baptist Church makes their hamburgers as all hamburgers pale in comparison to theirs...We left the house about 12:30 and got back around 4:30..what in the hell we did for 4 hours is beyond me...But we had fun...I got 2 canisters with blue bonnets on them...really kind of girly for me, but as they are Texas flowers, it made it ok...Babs got a tacky ugly frog...and we got to sing songs to the citizens of West....I wish you could have seen us singing 'staying alive staying alive..ah..ah..ah.ah..staying alive'..in her suv...waving our fingers and bobbing our heads...giggling like 9 year olds...It's fun to have a partner in crime..plus with the 2 of us as a team, it makes the cops think twice before hauling our asses off to jail..Life is good...fuckme till I sing bass...
Dear Jackie:
This really hit home for me. I did not feel ready to come after words but they safety pinned my drainage tubes to me and sent me out the door. Bruce had to go to work today so I am here alone doing the best I can. I have a visiting nurse coming over once a day for about week or two so that is some comfort to me being a diabetic I m worried about infection and healing well. I have a lot of wonderful people praying for me and I know in my heart it's working.This is my exercise for this morning to use my arms to write you an e-mail. Not even my kids got that so lady you are very special to me. You are my appointed Guarding Angel. I have my little orange one you sent me right next to me!I'm sending you some graphic pictures of my surgery. The pain pills are working really good right now so I have to hurry and finish this. That is the hardest part using my arms. They hurt like a bitch. You can post this letter if you would like. Tell everyone thank you, thank you. I love all of you my best buddies!I also give you JackieSue permission to show the photo's. I am doing that because maybe I can help another woman who is having to go through with this.Sending photo's as an attached file.I love you,Nancy

This is email from Nancy..in reply to a email I had sent her that I received from Pixie about a bill called
Breast Cancer Awareness Act...
Like Nancy said..Wed. she had major surgery, having both her breasts removed..and Friday morning, the pinned her up patted her on the head and sent her home. That's no way to treat a woman in any circumstances, but especially since they just removed both her breasts...If I knew who's ass to kick, I would.
I sent a copy of the email to all 69 people on my email list. If you don't happen to be on that list and would like a copy of the email, please email me at:yellowdoggranny@yahoo.com
I will send it to you...
I am going to post the pictures that Nancy sent me..if it's to graphic for you...well, tough shit..This could happen to you, your mother, your sister, your wife, your daughter, your aunt, your friend...Go get a mamagram, your worth it...

Thursday, February 28, 2008

NANCY HAS NEW BOOBS





At five am I got a phone call from Nancy..yes, you read that right...5 fucking am ...ha...I'm not sure who was more out of it..her on duladid or me half asleep...But the reports are good..she had no cancer in the muscles of her chest so that means no chemo or radiation..and she is getting breast reconstruction, so she will have brand spanking new boobies...I want to thank all my readers who went over and gave her you blessings and prayers..your a fine bunch of peoples and I'm proud to call you my friends...Goddess bless you...

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

SHORT POST

#1..West, Texas is going to be on ABC tonight at 9pm central time...on What Would You Do...I remember hearing about it from Inky and Anessa as they told me about it when the filming crew was there..but since it had nothing to do with me....I forgot it..snort*.So if you want to see the Czech Stop Bakery and what we do when the camera is rolling...tonight's the night..
#2....Our most beloved friend Nancy is going into the hospital the 27th to have a double mastectomy and she needs all the prayers, love and good wishes that we can offer her..so please..drop by and say howdy to her...http://darkwinterraven.blogspot.com
gotta run...have to eat...have some stories to tell later..Babs and I went to town today and boy did we have fun.....

Saturday, February 23, 2008

REMEMBER THE ALAMO









Today is the 172nd anniversary of the day in 1836 when Mexican troops besieged the Alamo in San Antonio during the Texas Revolution. The siege ended after 13 days with the fall of the Alamo. San Antonio was then called San Antonio de Bexar,(pronounced Bear).The battle was between the Republic of Mexico and the rebel Texians forces, including both Angelos(ethnic Americans) and Tejanos(ethnic Mexicans in Texas).This was a fight for the Independence of Texas from Mexico, called the Texas Revolution.The 13-day siege started Tuesday Feb.23,1836, and ended on March 6th 1836, with the capture of the mission and the death of nearly all the Texians and Tejanos defenders, except for a few slaves, women and children.The 13 days allowed General Sam Houston enough time to gather troops and supplies for the later success at the Battle of San Jacinto.


Santa Anna's army consisted of 6,000 in the siege and 1,200 in the actual assault. The Alamo defenders were about 180-250 and 21 guns against the Mexican's army of 20 guns. All of the defenders lost their lives at the Alamo, but the wounded almost 600 and killed nearly 300.


On April 21st, 1836 General Sam Houston took on Santa Anna's army and defeated them in 18 minutes, with rallying cries of:"Remember the Alamo, and remember Goliad."...Santa Anna was captured the day after the battle, dressed as a woman. He signed the peace treaties and left the area. Leaving behind The Republic of Texas.




I dont' know what sort of history your kids are taugh about the history of their state while they're in school..but the kids in Texas have Texas history at least twice during their elementary years..Every year from Feb.23rd to March 6th they do plays, do readings, reports and celebrate in as many ways as possible the history of our once proud Nation that became a state on December 29th, 1846.



(which may be one of many reasons why we think we're a little superior....we were a country..a nation...not just a territory...before we became a state.)









The Texas Declaration of Independence
The Unanimous Declaration of Independence made by the Delegates of the People of Texas in General Convention at the town of Washington on the 2nd day of March 1836.
When a government has ceased to protect the lives, liberty and property of the people, from whom its legitimate powers are derived, and for the advancement of whose happiness it was instituted, and so far from being a guarantee for the enjoyment of those inestimable and inalienable rights, becomes an instrument in the hands of evil rulers for their oppression.
When the Federal Republican Constitution of their country, which they have sworn to support, no longer has a substantial existence, and the whole nature of their government has been forcibly changed, without their consent, from a restricted federative republic, composed of sovereign states, to a consolidated central military despotism, in which every interest is disregarded but that of the army and the priesthood, both the eternal enemies of civil liberty, the everready minions of power, and the usual instruments of tyrants.
When, long after the spirit of the constitution has departed, moderation is at length so far lost by those in power, that even the semblance of freedom is removed, and the forms themselves of the constitution discontinued, and so far from their petitions and remonstrances being regarded, the agents who bear them are thrown into dungeons, and mercenary armies sent forth to force a new government upon them at the point of the bayonet.
When, in consequence of such acts of malfeasance and abdication on the part of the government, anarchy prevails, and civil society is dissolved into its original elements. In such a crisis, the first law of nature, the right of self-preservation, the inherent and inalienable rights of the people to appeal to first principles, and take their political affairs into their own hands in extreme cases, enjoins it as a right towards themselves, and a sacred obligation to their posterity, to abolish such government, and create another in its stead, calculated to rescue them from impending dangers, and to secure their future welfare and happiness.
Nations, as well as individuals, are amenable for their acts to the public opinion of mankind. A statement of a part of our grievances is therefore submitted to an impartial world, in justification of the hazardous but unavoidable step now taken, of severing our political connection with the Mexican people, and assuming an independent attitude among the nations of the earth.
The Mexican government, by its colonization laws, invited and induced the Anglo-American population of Texas to colonize its wilderness under the pledged faith of a written constitution, that they should continue to enjoy that constitutional liberty and republican government to which they had been habituated in the land of their birth, the United States of America.
In this expectation they have been cruelly disappointed, inasmuch as the Mexican nation has acquiesced in the late changes made in the government by General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna, who having overturned the constitution of his country, now offers us the cruel alternative, either to abandon our homes, acquired by so many privations, or submit to the most intolerable of all tyranny, the combined despotism of the sword and the priesthood.
It has sacrificed our welfare to the state of Coahuila, by which our interests have been continually depressed through a jealous and partial course of legislation, carried on at a far distant seat of government, by a hostile majority, in an unknown tongue, and this too, notwithstanding we have petitioned in the humblest terms for the establishment of a separate state government, and have, in accordance with the provisions of the national constitution, presented to the general Congress a republican constitution, which was, without just cause, contemptuously rejected.
It incarcerated in a dungeon, for a long time, one of our citizens, for no other cause but a zealous endeavor to procure the acceptance of our constitution, and the establishment of a state government.
It has failed and refused to secure, on a firm basis, the right of trial by jury, that palladium of civil liberty, and only safe guarantee for the life, liberty, and property of the citizen.
It has failed to establish any public system of education, although possessed of almost boundless resources, (the public domain,) and although it is an axiom in political science, that unless a people are educated and enlightened, it is idle to expect the continuance of civil liberty, or the capacity for self government.
It has suffered the military commandants, stationed among us, to exercise arbitrary acts of oppression and tyrrany, thus trampling upon the most sacred rights of the citizens, and rendering the military superior to the civil power.
It has dissolved, by force of arms, the state Congress of Coahuila and Texas, and obliged our representatives to fly for their lives from the seat of government, thus depriving us of the fundamental political right of representation.
It has demanded the surrender of a number of our citizens, and ordered military detachments to seize and carry them into the Interior for trial, in contempt of the civil authorities, and in defiance of the laws and the constitution.
It has made piratical attacks upon our commerce, by commissioning foreign desperadoes, and authorizing them to seize our vessels, and convey the property of our citizens to far distant ports for confiscation.
It denies us the right of worshipping the Almighty according to the dictates of our own conscience, by the support of a national religion, calculated to promote the temporal interest of its human functionaries, rather than the glory of the true and living God.
It has demanded us to deliver up our arms, which are essential to our defence, the rightful property of freemen, and formidable only to tyrannical governments.
It has invaded our country both by sea and by land, with intent to lay waste our territory, and drive us from our homes; and has now a large mercenary army advancing, to carry on against us a war of extermination.
It has, through its emissaries, incited the merciless savage, with the tomahawk and scalping knife, to massacre the inhabitants of our defenseless frontiers.
It hath been, during the whole time of our connection with it, the contemptible sport and victim of successive military revolutions, and hath continually exhibited every characteristic of a weak, corrupt, and tyrranical government.
These, and other grievances, were patiently borne by the people of Texas, untill they reached that point at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue. We then took up arms in defence of the national constitution. We appealed to our Mexican brethren for assistance. Our appeal has been made in vain. Though months have elapsed, no sympathetic response has yet been heard from the Interior. We are, therefore, forced to the melancholy conclusion, that the Mexican people have acquiesced in the destruction of their liberty, and the substitution therfor of a military government; that they are unfit to be free, and incapable of self government.
The necessity of self-preservation, therefore, now decrees our eternal political separation.
We, therefore, the delegates with plenary powers of the people of Texas, in solemn convention assembled, appealing to a candid world for the necessities of our condition, do hereby resolve and declare, that our political connection with the Mexican nation has forever ended, and that the people of Texas do now constitute a free, Sovereign, and independent republic, and are fully invested with all the rights and attributes which properly belong to independent nations; and, conscious of the rectitude of our intentions, we fearlessly and confidently commit the issue to the decision of the Supreme arbiter of the destinies of nations.

Friday, February 22, 2008

WELL....LOOKA HERE....




Look who's been very very bad.....


• Feb. 22, 2008: Rep. Rick Renzi, R-Ariz., indicted on charges of extortion, wire fraud, money laundering and other crimes in an Arizona land swap that authorities say helped him collect hundreds of thousands of dollars in payoffs.
• June 11, 2007: Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, arrested in a bathroom sex sting at the Minneapolis airport. He pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct. He is now asking a state appeals court to let him withdraw his guilty plea.
• June 4, 2007: Rep. William Jefferson, D-La., indicted on federal charges of racketeering, soliciting bribes and money laundering in a long-running bribery investigation into business deals he tried to broker in Africa.
• Jan. 19, 2007: Former Rep. Bob Ney, R-Ohio, sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison for trading political favors for gifts and campaign donations from lobbyist Jack Abramoff.
• March 3, 2006: Former Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham, R-Calif., sentenced to eight years and four months in prison. He collected $2.4 million in homes, yachts, antique furnishings and other bribes in a corruption scheme.
• Oct. 3, 2005: Former Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas, charged with felony money laundering and conspiracy in connection with Republican fundraising efforts in 2002. One charge has been dropped and two others are being argued before a state appeals court.
• Aug. 29, 2003: Rep. William Janklow, R-S.D., charged with felony second-degree manslaughter and three misdemeanors after his car struck and killed a motorcyclist. He was convicted of vehicular homicide and sentenced to 100 days in prison.
• May 4, 2001: Rep. James Traficant, D-Ohio, indicted by a federal grand jury on charges of tax evasion, bribery, racketeering, conspiracy and obstruction of justice. He was sentenced to eight years in prison after being convicted of racketeering and accepting bribes.

YOU MAKE MY DAY AWARD


Christie from Serenity Now awarded me a You Make My Day Award...
I'm supposed to give 5 blogs on my blog roll the Award too...so the Awards goes to:
ANNE JOHNSON ,
NITWIT,
BILLY PILGRIM ,
KEVIN THE OHIO HOTIE,
AND ROXROCKS
This was really really hard..as I have so many bloggers that really do make my day....Anne from the Gods Are Bored and RoxRocks are two new blogs that I have started reading and Billy, Nitwit and Kevin have been my favs for the longest time..But I really didn't want to leave out some of my favorites liKe Buddha_Girl,Bluebeer,Junebugg,Babs,Allan,Sling,and oh hell, all of them..you all make my day...Kalibitch and Sage are newbies but have worked their way right into my little ole hard heart....I thank Christie very very much for the You Make My Day Award and I hope the 5 I picked that make my day, will pass it along....Every one needs a pat on the head,followed by a pat on the ass..Go check out my 5....you won't be sorry....

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

THE LUNAR ECLIPSE



For a week Babs and I have been talking about going outside to see the lunar eclipse...Counting down the days..finally the big day comes and it's so cloudy out, you can't see a star more less the moon getting lunared..So we have pretty much decided that we weren't going to see much ...then Babs calls and said she saw a sliver of the moon right before the cloud covered it again..What the fuck...I'll go and see what I can see....Directly outside my apt. is the parking lot and to the right is the townhouse apts with a nice size field behind it..since Claudette's apt light is shining right in my eye, I decide to meander over to the field out of the light and try and find the moon...As most of you know I have a damaged nerve in my back which causes me to have slow motor skills in my right leg most of the time..When my brain tells my right leg to take a step, this is what it hears sometimes."briaceksleha;zzwllll999kllmwatchit mother fucker she's going down"...followed by "huh?"Followed by "ohhhhhhh fuck."...
I didn't actually fall down this time, but I'm sure that any one looking out their window would swear that Jackie is back on the sauce, as I know I looked like I was drunk out there, staggering around, looking up at the sky..Turning in circles with my hand up to block the damn light from Claudette's..
"What do you think she's doing out there?..." "Hell, I don't know...but I'm not going out there to find out. Remember the last time she was drunk?" "Please, I don't want to talk about it."..."Should have known not to talk smack about the Cowboys. You still have the scar from that?" "I SAID I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."
I never did see the damn moon...But my reputation is still intact.

Monday, February 18, 2008

7 words you can't say on tv

These are the 7 Words you can't say on regular television until Jane Fonda said 'cunt' on the Today Show. When asked about her reaction to being asked to do the play The Vagina Monologue, she said "I was asked about doing a play about cunts and I said I don't think so."...Since this was in New York it went right by but they had the 10 second delay for the west coast..
When I heard about it I almost hurt myself from laughing so hard...Cause unless your an old watcher of the late Johnny Carson's Tonight Show you"ll know that when she was on with Johnny(her first time I think)she said she wanted to know if a story she had heard was true, and Carson said what was it..and she said "I heard that Zsa Zsa Gabor was on the show and she brought her cat with her and she asked you if you wanted to pet her pussy, and you said I can't t
he damn cat's in the way."....much laughing..and Carson said no it wasn't true..but damn....I wish it had been...
Being a child of the military, dirty words were an every day occurrence for me..I hung around the parade ground, mess hall, motor pools from the time I was 4 years o
ld...I learned all the good ones...and the true story is, I was 17 before I found out that cocksucer wasn't another word for civilian, and those funny little hats were called overseas caps and not cunt caps. I didn't know that those words weren't to be spoken in polite company until I got smacked and sent to my room for referring to the airplanes flying over head as a bunch of noisy motherfuckers...Sonsabitches was my preferred expression.....everything was you sonsabitch..I supposed the gi's got an extra thrill out of teaching a 6 year old the names of the tools as fucking wrench, fucking screwdriver, fucking socket...Not to say that I didn't learn anything from the WAF's...which is where I heard the expression, "I want to hear you're pussy's suck air."..But my favorites where the cadences the soldiers called out when they marched..."I know a girl who lives on a hill, she won't do it but her sister will.."..."I know a girl from New Orleans, she's got a mustache in her jeans."....I don't know but I've been told, Eskimo pussy is mighty cold."....
Well, like normal...I have gotten way off the track of the purpose of this post...Jane Fonda said cunt on national TV at 8am...Every one had a stroke..The thing I don't understand is....why it's ok to show people being shot, bombed and killed every day on the evening news, but it's not ok to say cunt...the loveliest part of a woman...
fuckme till I holler tits....

Sunday, February 17, 2008

14 MILLION DOLLAR LICENSE PLATE





and other shit.......

A license plate bearing only the number "1" sold for $14 million at a charity auction Saturday in the United Arab Emrates....Saeed Khouri a member of a very wealthy A bu Dhabi family has many cars but doesn't know which one will wear the plate..But he wanted the number 1 as he wanted everyone to know that he is prosperous and doing well in his real estate business..He will also be known as the '1' asshole..They have this auction every year and all total there were 90 plates auctioned off for $24 million..What are they going to do with this money?..They donate it to a rehab clinic/hospital for people that are injured in traffic accidents.


what can I say?.......fuckity fuck fuck fuck..

Now you know where part of your gas money is going..


"That's just like a communist country. They won't give threaten you or anything. One day they just come in your house and kick you out."

---Thieu Nguyen, a Vietnamese immigrant in Plano, Texas, on his Home-owners Association's threat to place a lien on his house because he painted his fence green.(Dallas Morning News)...The price you pay for living in a gated community...

and my very personal favorite....

"The image of the Catholic Lent must be polished. The fact that we use a Muslim term is related to the fact that Ramadan is a better-known concept among young people than Lent.".Martin van der Kull, Dutch Catholic leader, on the church's decision to rebrand Lent as "Christian Ramadan."..(Daily Telegraph)

(using whiny Bush voice) It's hard....it's really hard...to be a Christian."

This one makes my ass itch...

"I will vote for the candidate i think can do the best job in America-Whether that candidate is a Republican or Democrat or an independent."...Colin Powell, secretary of state under George Bush.

If you hadn't blown all your credibility when you got up in front of the world and said 'Yup....they have wmd and we're fucked" speech, we might actually care what you have to say..So up until you get on TV and tell the world, you lied, you were forced to lie or you just didn't have the balls to stand up and say 'nope, this is bullshit.'...no one gives a fuck what you think...At least I don't....and this is my blog and that's all that counts..

Saturday, February 16, 2008

PAGE 123 MEME

I swiped this from my new pal Buzzard Billy, who if we were going to be politically correct would be Buzzard Nanny...but I digress..
Your supposed to reach out and grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 123..go to the 5th sentence and then copy out the next three sentences...The first book I grabbed was a Portuguese Dictionary, and didn't think that would work, so then I grabbed the next nearest book and it's A Light In the Attic by Shel Silverstein and it's a kids book and doesn't have 123 pages..so then I grabbed this book:PIECE OF MY HEART -JANIS JOPLIN.
Here are the 3 sentences after the first 5 sentences.

"With her mesmerizing intensity she wielded together all the threads, scales and fragments of our collective person, as if she were piecing Humpy Dumpty back together again.
Through music's anarchic power to both dissociate and , ultimately, to integrate, Janis let us know that only all of us can see it. Too vast to guess by parts: too enclosed within us to recognize."
Goddess bless Janis...........

Friday, February 15, 2008

I'LL TAKE BULLSHIT FOR $200, JACKIE


This is one of those ain't about nothing but just a little about a bunch of stuff...
First of all....Forest Gump has come out for John McCain...If that doesn't scare the shit out of you then nothing will..McCain as president..will be 4 more years of the same ole shit..First of all I think John McCain is still suffering from PTS, from Vietnam..Some times when you see him on TV he has that dopey eyed look from too much medication.. and then I watched him on some news show and I've never seen anyone blink so many times in 3 minutes in my entire life. I'm not sure if he was trying to keep from passing out or it's some sort of nervous tic.
Either way it was spooky..Plus anyone that would allow some one like Forest Gump and his crew make up so many lies about you and then be seen kissing his ass and hugging him...well, he gets no respect from me..I'm sorry he was held captive by Charlie, but not sorry enough to let him get a pass for the president of the united state's. Who the fuck am I kidding, I wouldn't vote for him anyhow..he's a fucking republican..
Now for something important..NBC has extended Life for another season...If you haven't seen this TV show, you should...First of all it's a great show with great story line, great writing, but more important?...Damien Lewis is hot.
It doesn't hurt that he resembles Steve McQueen either..I think the first time I remember seeing him in anything was Band of Brothers, which was most excellent, and he was just terrific in it...Now he's on NBC in his very own little TV show which co-stars Adam Arkin another one of my personal favorites..He plays a cop who got framed for a crime, did his 10 years where he became a Buddhist, met Adam and then they proved he was not guilty and the city of L.A. had to pay him like $10 million bucks...But he's back on the force, being a cop, and looking for who done him wrong...Great show.
More exciting news?...I just finished the Spellman Files by Lisa Lutz and it was hysterical...I really loved this book...It's not anything like the Name of the Wind, but it's still a great book...I think this is her first book but she had written and rewritten a screenplay called Plan B, a mob film which I haven't seen. But she swore off screenplays and wrote this funny funny book, with a list of the weirdest family since my family reunion..They are all private investigators and they do back ground checks on the daughters boyfriends, are constantly fixing her up with lawyers and she has a list of boyfriends listed as X-boyfriend #1, #2, etc..There is even a small kid detective who between scarfing down sugared cereals and beef jerky follows everyone around the city of San Francisco..So yes, this is another book I'm pushing..If you want a good laugh...and lots of them..this is the book for you..
It's raining...now I don't have to go do laundry..I'm sure the neighbors won't mind that I'm still wearing the old cowboys t-shirt..it's actually starting to smell like one of the players wore it, while being gang tackled by the Green Bay Packers...There are a lot of pluses living alone..Lucky for me..Annie doesn't care what I smell like as long as I keep her fed and watered..fuckme til I make the team.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

.......I'M A SCHMUCK.......


I have been doing a little deducting..I have had allergies for fucking ever...sneezing, runny nose, and more sneezing..Every time a cedar tree has sex I sneeze..I'm from the old school of 'if one's good then 2 will be terrific.'...So the destruction's on my allergy (over the counter) meds say 1 every 4 hours..So schmuck that I am...I take 2 every 4 hours...I was so jittery from it that I couldn't sleep at night and so I changed the brand and went back to taking them the way they are supposed to be taken..Guess what?...The rapid heart beat stopped..yup...it's not the diabetes medicine...it's the 'too many allergy pills'...I'm not sure that's what the problem is..but every since I stopped taking them 2 at a time, the rapid heart beat has gone away..if it continues like this..I will not call Dr. E. but if it starts up again, will call him..But right now I think it's a case of Dr. Jackie over dosing her allergy medicine...yup I'm a schmuck.
Does anyone remember back when I lived in the little house that I kept getting bit by something on the face and was so swollen that my eye would close and my mouth sagged..and thanks to Tex and a few others I figured out that they were gnat bites and I'm allergic to them..The little fuckers are back..( I noticed it when I brought the plants in from the cold)I have huge lumps on my back and side from them..huge motherfuckers.. the size of walnuts grouped together, red and blotchy and itch like a sonofabitch...It's enough to piss off the Goddess..I art pissed also..But the good news is...I haven't been sick from the 'crud' that is going around...Every one on line and in West have been sick with the 'crud'..I'm assuming that the 'crud' is some form of flu, but so far, I am bug free....Of course now that I have bragged about it..I will come down with a case so severe that I will welcome some gnat bites..
like these....only a lot more of them and a lot bigger..
On the reading agenda I finished the book by Erica Spindler, Last Known Victim and it was really a good mystery...Smug schmuck that I am..I had it figured out by the time I was half way through..There were a lot of red herrings, but I'm too good of a sleuth and figured it out..Now I'm reading the Spellman Files by Lisa Lutz and it's pretty damn funny...Which is good, as I'm due for some funny...I started to read the God of All Animals but it started right off with the drowning of a kid, and thought 'I don't think so'...and switched to the Spellman Files...Actually all I'm doing is biding my time until I get the new STephen King novel.We don't have it at the library yet and I'm chomping at the bit..I have to go to the library today and down load all the information on Obama, Clinton, Hucklebee and McCaine for the old farts at the West Rest Haven..I am going there the 18th and give them all the scoop on what issues the candidates are for and against..If you want any information about the candidates you can get it from Glassbooth.net..or is it Glassbooth.com...or org..fuck I can't remember..oh kay...I checked..it's .org..There is a test you can take that will match you up with the candidate that is the closest to you on the issues..Pretty cool..
Probaly over the weekend I will do another report from West. Both the girls and boys teams are going to district playoffs...We're so proud...
I have to go do laundry....no really I mean it..I HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY.. I am wearing clothes that I only wear when every thing else I own is in the hamper...The t-shirt is from when the Cowboys won their first Super Bowl, like 93 or something..Plus a gnat just flew up my nose and Goddess knows what kind of damage it can do in there...fuckme till I sneeze..



Wednesday, February 13, 2008

IF IT'S NOT ONE THING...IT'S ANOTHER

The good news is, I received the nicest thank you email from the author of The Name of The Wind, Patrick Rothfuss. I sent him an email telling him how much I like his book and told him I did a review of it on my blog and he emailed back and said it made him laugh out loud and he appreciated it and wanted to know if he could link it to his website as he thought other people would enjoy reading it...How cool is that?...I have always written to authors when I really like their work..I have received letters, notes from John Case, Dean Koontz, H. Allan Smith, John Irving,Janet Evanovitch, Sara Pretskey, James Lee Burke and a lot of others..I am in the process of reading Last Known Victim and it's pretty good..While reading it I went to library and checked out Steve Martin's Born Standing Up...I really did enjoy it..It's a small book but only covers his stand-up years, and his relationship with his parents and sister..It makes you sort of understand him a little better..It's worth reading if you are interested in Bio's..
Now the damnit news..I have been having rapid heart beats from the diabetes medicine I have been taking. Then the other day the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute canceled their trials that were using diabetic medicine that lowered blood sugar instead of controlling it...Which is what I'm taking..So going to go see Dr. E. and see if I should stop taking it and switch again...It happens within 3 hours of taking it..can damn near set a clock by it...I was going to go Monday, but I just hate going to him and having to start this crap all over again..fuckity fuck fuck fuck...Pisses me off...Plus I have lost another 4 lbs...little by little..slowly but surely..
It's beautiful in West, by Goddess, Texas today...We had thunderstorms and about an inch of rain the other night and morning..then it was kind of gray and in 50's...now the sun is all bright and shiny..It's like living in a new place every day..
I will let you know what Dr. E. says...
fuckme till my bloodsugar drops..

Sunday, February 10, 2008

THE NAME OF THE WIND

Son of a bitch....I just finished The Name of The Wind by Patrick Rothfuss....remember how excited I was over the latest Dean Koontz book and the Dark Materials?...Well, they suck bite and blow compared to this book..I fucking love it...It is was pie I would have eaten it already..If it was Antonio Banderas I would have fucked him...three times..and been standing by waiting for him to catch some zee's before jumping his bones again...This book rocks...I didn't want to put it down...I didn't want it to end...and when I got to the last 30 pages and realized that there was more story left and not enough pages I knew that this was going to be a series..ooooh lovely day in Valhalla..I want to buy 100 copies and just give them to everyone I know that is a big reader and loves books..
So run, do not walk, to the nearest book store or library and get this book...promise me..you won't be sorry..You will love me for it..You will write sonnets to me...leave me money in your will and offer to whisk me off to some deserted island to have your way with me..(well, maybe not)...But I know one thing and one thing for sure..
You'll be one happy motherfucker when you read page 662..

Saturday, February 09, 2008






Just some things I received in my emails from my friends..

Some of them I can't show..

I would post more, but I'm going to go practice my inner Freddy.

(Freddy Mercury)

Going to go put the Queen tape in the white charger and roll the windows down, crank up the sound ...and play 'bicycle'....see ya

Thursday, February 07, 2008

.......BOOKS.......

I've been doing much of nothing lately but read..So far I've finished the book I was reading when I got my jackpot of new books...Plus Double Take, which gets 3 stars, Genghis Khan, 3 stars, Cat Dancer which was really good gets 31/2 stars and I also picked up Blasphemy by Douglas Preston and read it and it was 4+stars...I really really really liked it..Read it in 1 day..and it had 414 pages...He usually writes books with Lincoln Child, like Relic, Riptide, Thunderhead, etc..Really good books..This one is really good..Covers everything, God, the Antichrist, Big Bang theory and Wacky Christians... I just started The Name of The Wind and so far it's pretty good...I should be doing a lot more besides reading, but my give a shit button is broke..Although if the little old lady who walks her dogs over here to crap in my yard is fast becoming number one on my shit list..She lives in the apartments where Babs lives and walks her damn dog over here to leave a crap in my yard..I have yet to see her with a plastic bag to pick it up..She seems to think her dog is small and it's no big deal..Well, yes, by Goddess it is a big deal, especially when the little fur ball craps right on the sidewalk leading up to my porch....I don't want to be a bitch about this but I can and I will..If I wanted to clean up dog crap..I'd have my own damn dog..Grumble mumble..
I'm still baking for Babs..so far I've made 2 pecan pies, 2 batches of brownies, one with nuts one without, Russian Tea cakes, and banana bread..I think I'm going to quit for a while..it's to tempting for me and I don't need the temptation..If I'm going to be tempted I'd druther it be by Antonio Banderas..
Babs was just here to get her West paper. Who ever goes into town on Wed. gets 2 papers and then saves the other a trip to town. She's going to go terrorize the Dollar store..I would go, but that means I would have to leave the warmth and comfort of my cozy little apartment, and don't wanna...
I do have to go to the library later on today and start downloading all the information on the remaining candidates running for President from both parties..My ex-daughter-in-law, Kathy is the activity director at the West Rest Haven(old farts home) and asked me if I would help the old folks by getting information on each candidate so they would know who to vote for..She keeps asking me if I have gotten started on it or if I'm done yet. I told her, the way they are dropping out, it would be better to wait till right before the day I have to come up there which is the 18th of Feb. It will be really hard for me to keep from just telling them to vote for Obama..
West is having a Chili cook off this weekend, which means the entire town will have the sweet smell of chili wafting in the breeze...When they have the BBQ cook off, the aroma is just the best...Between that and the aromas from all the bakeries, West smells the best..That should be our motto...'NO TOWN SMELLS AS GOOD AS WE DO'
or..'WE STINK GOOD'...
Gee, can you tell I am digging for something to post about?...I was going to do a post on this person in Bonham, Texas that had 209 cats and 3 dogs seized, from a home completely over ran with them..The stupid people said 'they started out with 13 cats, but the animals quickly bred.'....Gee...ya think? Thirteen cats that aren't spayed or neutered...and they don't understand how it suddenly became 209?....Then I was going to do a post on the amount of suicides from returning soldiers, but depressed me. A post about the lack of money being sent home from illegal aliens to their families in Mexico, but I really didn't give a shit. There was an article about a furniture company in Great Britain that named a new girls furniture line Lolita. Not knowing that was the name of a sexually precocious preteen in the novel of the same name by Vladimir Nabokov. Don't them folks read?.. I think the thing I found most interesting is that the drug report came back on the death of Heath Ledger and he died of an accidental overdose from Oxycondone, Hydrocodone, Diazepon,Tempazepam,and Alprazalam..Too bad he didn't make as good choices with his life as he did with his career..
Ok...I'm bored so y'all must be yawning and nodding off by now..Hopefully I will come up with something smarter and funnier next time...
I was going to download some pictures but can't get it to work or my spell checker...dumbasses..

Monday, February 04, 2008

AND .....THE ANSWERS ARE....



Blessings on you my children...and for all of you still hung over from the Super Bowl...Cheer up...you can do it again next year....
Some good questions..some not so good...some no questions at all...just wanting me to bless their team so they could win...The Goddess doesn't pick sides...and even though you Christians pray to Jesus for a win..He doesn't pick sides either...He could care less about the Super Bowl, nor the Grammys, or the Oscars, or the Emmy's or The World Series. Neither of us can understand why it's called the World Series when it's only played by teams in America...Now to the questions.
Steve wants the Goddess to bless the marriage of MS and yahoo.The Goddess does not bless unholy unions.
Our good friend Babs wants to know if the Yellow Dog can kick Mercury's retrograde and sell tickets so everyone can see....But of course.
Sage wants to know if the Goddess has made it with a woman...The Goddess believes in finding love where ever you can..and thinks same sex is as natural as opposites having sex..But the Goddess is more interested in Pecs than boobs..
MoreCowbell wants to know why every one hates the New England Patriots...Because it's just so fucking easy.
Nitwit wants to know if it's wrong to get turned on by my semi-clothed mammary monuments? I'm the Goddess, your supposed to worship and adore me...
Kalibitch has a lot of questions for me..Yes,there is a plague of stupid running about..it's called human nature.
Woozie and Gaddy will make up but I'm not sure about the kissing part..and the reason why glue doesn't stick in the bottle is they are made to react with air..As long as they are in the bottle and sealed from air, they don't react..But once the bottle is open and the air gets to it..then it will adhere to things. Which is why after the bottle has been opened 2-3 times, the glue starts to film and firm over..Does that answer your question?
Billy wants to know why Hitler loves the Cowboys so much and if Adolph and Jerry Jones are long lost brothers..It's not the Cowboys that Hitler loves so much..it's T.O. and I do think they may have been brothers in a past life.
Lostinco wants to know what deja vu is and how does it work...Doctors will tell you that some people that have it are suffering small strokes. I say it's because you're brain has wandered over into a parallel universe and caught a glimpse of your life there.Anne wants to know why she was born a human and not a cat.Well, Anne what makes you think you haven't been a cat in another life?..Johnny-G wants the Goddess to allow the Patriots ass to be kicked by the Giants..That happened, but it was no doing of the Goddess.I do think Loki had a lot to do with that acrobatic catch and the score.Too bad Sling, your team lost.
Christi wishes the Goddess a happy and merry Embolc.The Goddess does't celebrate any religious or pagan holiday...I only celebrate the birth of the universe.
Goddess bless Tex.
Paul's message is to the Yellow Dog, she'll have to answer him.
Rox wants to know if the Goddess could sleep with any rock star dead or alive which one would it be...Jim Morrison...and the why should be evident.Snake Lizzard.
Allan thinks we should not celebrate Christmas or the Super Bowl...The Goddess agrees..The Christians stole the date for the birth of Jesus, when everyone knows he was born in August. Plus the Christians have taken the birth of a Prophet and turned it into a commercial business and all it is now is Santa Claus and gifts. Bad Christians...bad..
Off to Valhalla...lots of warriors to take home...Bless you my children...Be kind to each other..

Sunday, February 03, 2008

SUPER BOWL


take a really good look at one of those pictures of me...a really good look....got it?...kay!...now tell me...does that look like a face that gives a shit?.....
see ya after the game..the Goddess has already eaten all the stuffed jalopenas...
Holy shit...you guys remember Scottish Toodler?...She sent me an email 2 days ago telling me she 'saw' the score for the Super Bowl and the Giants were going to win 17-14...I shit you not...Holy Shit..
ok..so maybe I lied...I did give a shit...wasn't that really a Super Super Bowl?.....

Friday, February 01, 2008

ASK THE GODDESS


Blessings on you my children...

I'm here for the Super Bowl, and I need some one to answer one question for me...If the Super Bowl is so super.. why do they have it again next year?....
The Yellow Dog says she doesn't care who wins as her beloved Cowboys aren't in it..I don't care either, I'm only here for the stuffed jalapenos with cheese..sooo..
You're all invited to ask the Goddess any question you'd like...what would you like to know...and don't ask me who'll win the game as I don't care enough to find out..But Loki is with me..so look for some touch down high jinx's..

WHAT IN THE WORLD?






I found this on line and thought it was pretty interesting..
But what the fuck is it?...They (meaning NASA) say it's a rock formation...but damned if I see anything else on Mars that looks like a rock formation..and for a rock formation it looks a hell of a lot like a statue of a person. Sorta looks like that old video of 'Bigfoot' too...Any guesses?..