At the end of 1994 I got a job with a company that sells
books, videos,and music..I was the book department manager..I
along with all the other people hired went to Midland(middle of fucking winter)to train for 6-weeks at their training store..It was a pain in the ass..we had to stay in motels, eat in resturants, and get trained by 18 year olds...Not a day at the beach..Then at the beginning of 1995 we started openin
g the new store in Waco..I was responsible for the placement of every book in my department..where each section would go..end caps,magazines,what newspapers to order,it was a lot of responsiblity but that didn't bother me..it took us over 6 weeks to get ready and in that time I made a disturbing discovery..the manager and assistant manager were a bunch of fucking looney tunes..the female was so rude to people treating people like shit..for some reason people don't treat me like that..I think I give off a aura of 'I will bitch slap you if you so much as think of talking shit to me.' So I didn't have that problem..but they changed their minds, they argued with each other ,they frealed out at the drop of a hat..I had worked at the other book place under such extreme circumstances that nothing rattled me...but I could see that further on down the line these two assholes were going to self distruct..each one was trying to get the other one fired and instead of working together for a common goal(get the fucking store opened on time) they were more interested in fucking with the other one..dipshits...The store opens,we have lots of customers and my department was 100% ready and got all kinds of compliments from the bosses that came for the opening..I (if I can toot my own horn)rocked..I worked all kinds of shifts being the manager...and had picked a great assistant manager and had some pretty good employees, and a few that were enough to make me want to drink again..but I knew after what I had been through in San Francisco..I could handle these guys...and then.....one fatefull night..I heard a 'pop'....I was cleaning the book department up for closing and was standing on the bottom shelf to put a book up on the top shelf and stretched...and felt a pinch in my left thigh and heard a 'pop'...hurt like a bitch...but when I got down it was fine..thought I had just pulled something..so finished up...drove home..and went right to bed as I had closed up but needed to be there at 8am to open up...alarm goes off and I get up ..set my feet on the floor, stand and fell right on my face...I had SUCH a pain in my leg..I couldn't put any weight on it..it hurt like a mother fucker..but knew I had to go to work..store had only been open about 6 weeks...so hobbled around got ready and drove to work...I had to work 12 hours that day...I mentioned that I had hurt my leg the night before at work to the store manager..she was like 'uh huh...hmm..too bad'..and that was it..I thought well, it's only a strain and it will get better..but the next day it was worse..so went to work and said..I have to go see a dr.about this..I'm in horrible pain and can't put any weight on my leg...she said the big bosses are coming in..go on your lunch hour..very sympathetic boss..so on my lunch hour I went to little clinic by work..they took xrays..nothing..said to make an apointment with a real dr..the 3rd day of work I was in so much pain I just sat in middle of floor at house and wept..I am one ole tough broad, and I do not weep at pain..ever...ever ...ever...so I said fuck this..called in and said..I am seeing a dr.I can't stand this and if you can't handle it..tough shit..I never went back to work again..The Dr. did mri, cat scan and said I needed an operation that the old
disc had crushed the disc below it and had to go in and clean it out..first mistake...so that is operation one...it didn't get better..it got worse...they tried tens units..drugs off all kinds..went to another dr. he said...need another operation...that was in 1996..it got worse...had another operation....it got worse..finally they sent me to The Heart of Texas Back Institute in Plano...he figured out that when I heard the pop it was my spine rocking 
forward and then rocking back and catching a nerve...I also had another nerve that was pinched and had been from the first operation..in 1989...fuckity fuck fuck fuck...He wanted to do a 360.. they build a cage around your spine..go in the back put in screws..go around the front and put bars that encase the spine and attach it to the screws...plus they were going to un pinch the nerves...well, folks..If i thought it hurt before...I hadn't seen 'nuffin' yet...that nerve came out a raw living wound...it was so damaged and so fucked up that today I still get messages crossed from my brain to my right leg...My brain will say..'ok,we're going to start walking now...left foot go...left foot..ok..going...right foot go..
right foot...what? go where?.dance?.what?'..and I fall on my ass..The operation took over 7 hours and they couldn't finish it..my spine is crunchy..it started to crumble in places where they needed to screw in screws...so they went front and back and didn't get to finish it..but I came out of it in so much new pain..I thought about taking allllll of the pills at once..but that is in 1996..it's still 1995...I am recovering from first surgery..and not being able to work.
.collecting workman's comp...and slowly but surely..getting hooked on pain pills.. the only good thing to come out of 1995..was Nate...my girlfriend Gail said she had a liter of pits did I want one..I was down to 2 cats..Chuck and Al...so said, sure..will keep me out of trouble and dogs are good campanions...I would drive over there every day and see him..after a week I would bring him home for a few hours..I should have known I did not get the 'pick of the liter'when she would call and say...'come get you
r asshole dog'...she had the mother and the puppies in a wash room off the kitchen..and all the other puppies would sleep and play but Nate would go to the door and bark like a mother fucker until she would let him out..at 4 weeks the puppies had ripped the mothers breast to shreds..they were all so huge and aggressive,but Nate was a hand full.I had named him after Nate Newton who at the time was the only Cowboy that hadn't been arrested for drug possession..and I kinda liked ole Nate Newton..so I brought the little asshole home...where he grew up 'pussy whipped'...Chuck and Al were full grown tom cats...they were not afraid of that little puppy..pit or not..they beat the shit out of him every morning,noon and night..he learned to love them and they learned to love him...but even when he was full grown 110 lbs..he never messed with them...they could still kick his ass...One morning I head a grunt..and Nate came in from the kitchen and Chuck was hanging from his cheek...he had bit all the way through his cheek and wouldn't let go..now Nate could have killed that cat in a New York City second, but he wouldn't hurt him...so I had to pry Chuck off his cheek...neither made a noise...but Nate never tried to eat any of their cat food again either...he was one great dog...1995 was a very strange year...The republicans took control of congress.5,000 died in Japan from earthquake.Bunch of assholes in Los Angeles find O.J. Simpson not-guilty of murder charges..I still remember driving down I-35 from Drs. apt to mj's house to hear the verdict...I was stunned.Judas fucking priest...stupid stupid stupid people.The U.S. rescue Mexico's economy with a $20billion aid program.Did we ever get any of that money back? The Senate rejects balanced-budget amendement.Nerve gas attack in Tokyo subway kills eight and injures thousands.The Aum Shinrika(Supreme Truth) cult is to blame.Major league baseball strike ends.Appeal count upholds women's plea to enter Citidel military academy(and the guys have been raping them every sense)
.UN council votes easing sanctions for Iraq.Scores killed as terrorist car bomb blows up block-long Oklahoma City federal building.Timothy McVeigh,27, army veteran arrested as a susspect. Authorities seek second suspect, link right-wing paramilitary groups to bombing.Death toll is 2,000 in Rwanda massacre.Fighting escalates in Bosnia dn Croatia.U.S. shuttle docks with Russian space station.F.B.I. suspends four in Idaho siege inquirey.France explodes nuclear device in Pacific, wide protests ensure.Senator Bob Packwood of Oregon 
resigns under pressure for sexual and officail misconduct.Isralis and Palestines agree on transfering West Bank to Arabs.Cease fire in Bosnia.Million Man March draws hundreds of thousands of black men to capital.Quebec narrowly rejects independence from Canada.Israli prime minister Yitzhak Rabin slain by Jewish extremist at peace rally.Irish votes to end constitutional ban on 
divorce.House move stalls congress,White House negotiations to advert government shut-down.Should have let it shut down..no government would be better than what we are stuck with 
now..fuckers.The music isn't much better...'One sweet day'by Mariah Carey and Boys II Men,'I'll be there for you'by Rembrandts,'Run Away'by Real McCoys,'You
Gotta Be'by Des'ree,'Boombastic'by Shaggy,'I could fall in love'by Selena,'Better Man'by Pearl Jam,Fantasy'by Mariah Carey,'We've got it going on'by Backstreet Boys,'Have you ever really loved a woman'by Bryan Adams,'Ants Marching and What would you say'by Dave Mathews Band,'Hey Lover'by LL Cool J,'Jeremy'by Pearl Jam,'When I co
me around'by Green Day,'Thank You'by Boys II Men,'Kiss from a rose'by Seal,'Total Exlipse of the Heart'by Nikki French,'Big Poppa'by Notorious B.I.G.,'Tootsie Roll'by 69 Boyz,'Fake Plastic Trees'by Radiohead,'Wonderwall'by Oasis,'J.A.R.'by Green Day,'Life's a bitch,by Nas,'1st of the month'by Bone Thugs-n-Harmony,'Freak Like Me'by Adina Howard,'Bulls on parade'by Rage Against the Machine,'1979 and Bullet with Butterfly wings'by Smashing Pumpkins,'Can't stop loving you'by Van Halen,'I'm the only one'by Melissa Ethridge,'Don't take it personal'by Monica,'Seether'by Veruca Salt,'Let her cry'by Hootie and the Blowfish,'Scream'by Michael and Janet
Jackson,'Good Intentions'by Toad The Wet Sprocket,'Alright'by Supergrass,'Beautiful life'by Ace of Base,' Hold me,Thrill me,Kiss me, Kill me'by U2,'This ain't a love song'by Bon Jovi,'Misery'by Soul Asylum,'Exhale'by Whitney Houston,'Send me on my way'by Rusted Root,'Bizarre love triangle'by New Order,'Gangsta's Paradise'by Coolie(I love this song),'Everything Zen'by Bush,'New Age Girl'by Dead Eye Dick,'I got ID'by Pearl Jam,Colors of the Wind'by Vanessa Williams,'Age ain't nothin' but a number'by Aaliyah,'Lightning Crashes'by Live,'Tonight is the night'by Le Click
,'Run-Around'by Blues Traveler,'December'by Collective Soul,'Hooked on you'by Silk,'I want you and Take A Bow'by Madonna,'The Sweetest Tabu'by Sade,'Creep'by TLC,'Baby'by Brandy,'Girlstown'by Supercat,'Lick It'by Roula,'Baby Baby'by Corona,'Hurt'by Nine Inch Nails,'Hand in my 
pocket'by Alais Morissette,'Carnival'by Natalie Merchant,'Buddy Holly'by Weezer,and last but not least.'Rock and Boll is Dead' by Lenny Kravitz. tada...I done...Country music continues to be pop with fiddles,Tall Tall Trees by Alan Jackson,I Will Always Love You by Dolly Parton and Vince Gill and Mississippi Morn by John Anderson..
The musi
c world was stunned by the killing of Selena.Such a loss..plus Jerry Garcia decided to see what was on the other side and one of the smoothest coolest dudes ever Dean Martin died...I love Dean Martin...still.We had some pretty good movies..Casino,Apollo 13,Se7en(which freaked the fuck out of me),B
raveheart,Leaving Las Vegas,Dead Man Walking and ohhh ..ohhhh....ohhhh...Desperado with Antonio Banderas...the hot sexy Antonio Banderas...sigh*
We lost some great actress's..Lana Turner,Eva Gabor(ok, so she wasent' great but she was good on Green Acres),Ida 
Lupino, who some of you might not know of but she was a great actress and also one of the first women directors. She paved the way for alot of women.Plus...Butterfly "I don't 
know nuthin' 'bout birthin' no babies" McQueen.There you have it...1995 in a nutshell...a big fucking nutshell...but still..there you have it...warts and all..and what were you doing in 1995? Babs,Nitwit,Ruby Rocks,Apos, Junebugg?????? Come on fess up...tell Granny allll about it..
14 comments:
sling and babs: what a bunch of neer de wells...i always wanted to say that..well, i was fucked up on pain pills and in so much pain i would stand up in the bathtub and pee cause i couldnt sit on toilet to pee from the pain..and so constipated from the pain pills thank goddess...i couldnt shit..so we were a rocking trio...
Nate sounds like an awesome dog...you raised him right!
And owww shit on your back!! I have a herniated disc....but nowhere near as bad as your situation, knock on wood it won't ever get worse. When it kicks in I feel like I've been kicked in my left butt cheek by a horse...I can feel it pretty much all the time but it's no big deal.
1995...I was drinking lots and starting to black out drunk frequently...got sober the next year but it took a long time to get my stupid self to take that step.
I was in my first year of slinging bread and taking care of my kids as best I could. I had stopped driving over the road when I had a similar problem with my left arm though not nearly as bad as your lower back. 9 years later I went under the knife.
Se7en was great! Gluttony freaked me out though.
i was probably sitting in my basement with rocket complaining about the new music. i was busy looking after kids and hating going to the boy scouts and girl guides meetings. i just didn't connect with all the civic minded volunteers that wanted to only show kids the sunny side of the street.
but my back was fine, so other than hangovers i was pain free.
dead souls isn't everyone's cup of tea. if you don't like the first 25 pages, pack it in. it's kinda like a russian don quioxte.
carina: nate was pretty damn special..he was 110lb. pit bull dog who thought he was a lap puppy...he loved everone and when people came to visit he always thought they were coming to see him...
hey it's more important that you quit..not so much when..i had only been sober 5 years when you got sober..this november 9th will be 15 years...but i still miss them roaring ass kicking drunks..
nit wit: if i had it to all over again..i wouldnt have let them use operations as a cure all, especially when i could see it wasnt curing a thing...they wanted me to have another one..go in there and clean it all up etc..said only if i get to kick you in the balls..no more operations..
ol'lady: as long as he can still do the riding that is required to keep you happy..ha
ruby rocks:..oh man..i hated the boy scouts and girls scouts.and believe it or not..i was a girl scout leader for one year...i had the little blue jeep and would stick the kids in there and take them all over the place..we made up our own badges..one little girl said being in my troop was the best fun she had ever had in her whole life..ha..
oh man.hangovers...don't miss those suckers..
OUCH! Damn my back hurts just reading this. Good thing you're a hard-headed tough old broad or you wouldn't have survived 8-}
I was putting on a pair of sweats standing up and I ruptured three disk. I have had two back surgeries. I can feel your pain.
It's hard to fly like an eagle when you work with turkeys. :)
Nate sounds wonderful, a bright spot for you in such a pain filled year. Of course there were also the pain pills. I've never been much into drugs, but I broke my arm a few years ago and the dr. prescribed Vicodin. And whoa, I could totally get into that stuff. I think the pain was just as bad but I didn't give a rat's ass about it.
junebugg: well, it's been 10 years and i still am disabled from all the operations, pinched nerves, etc..but i am not on any pain pills.
nancy:ouch! damn..well, if they are going to go..they are going to go..i had a baby dr. say that the longer a baby crawl and not walk..the better off his back and feet would be..so maybe we were early walkers..
jan: well, a lot of my problems with pain pills came from the fact that i am alergic to them all...they make me swell and itch..was not bad at first..but the more i had to take the worse it got..it went from my hands swelling and itching a little to my throat swelling shut and iching all over..till i would scratch till i bled..
In 1995 I gave birth to the youngest and last kiddo. She was a very difficult pregnancy (I spent a good portion of the year in bed rest .. boring)and was born 2 1/2 months preemie so the rest of that year including Christmas was spent in hospitals.
Nate sounds awesome!!! Yeah, he could have killed your cat, but he did not. This breed has been unfairly villanized.
Here Pits are banned .. lots of A-holes in Canada too .... ;)
Sue; nate had a kabillion chances to hurt not only my cats, but other dogs..he never did..even when he had a chance to get people that were in the yard and didnt belong there..he herded them to the gate and pushed them out of the yard.he never bit..
hmmm '95 nothing of importance springs to mind...who am I kidding I can't remember what I did last freaking week let alone over ten years ago. heh.
ouff I got squeamy just reading about yer back.
So, do you still have terrible back pain, YDG? Sorry to hear about it.
1995 was not a good year. But I was working in a book and video store then, too. Odd, huh?
apos:if you cant remember..? join the crowd...95 wasnt that memorial...
jublue: well, i still have pain but i dont have to take pain pills anymore..well, lets say i dont take them any more..i have one that i am saving for an emergency...ha..mainly to let me know i won the pills lost..kinda like leaving a beer in the refrigerator and not drinking it..did you work for hastings too?
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