I HAB A CODE...

If I find out which one of my friends or family is the one resonsible for making me sick..I am erasing them from the will...fuckers...And here is some advice from one of the ancients(me)...If you think you might be sick, you think you could be in the room with someone sick, or feel sick..What ever you do..'do not eat habinaro beans.'...fuckme a new ass...
I was in the bathroom 35+times last night..And my stomach is still making grumbling noises...I feel like hammered shit..fuckity fuck fucking ..achoo...
Ok...The good stuff..Christmas eve day I went to my best friend David's ex-wife's house for Christmas dinner..He was there with their two daughters, her other 2 daughters, some husbands, boyfriends, kids, step kids..Etc...Was wonderful..They did this Chinese Christmas exchange which was pretty cool..But I am not sure I am a nice enough person to play it with out beating the shit out of someone that wanted to take my Christmas gift...I laughed at David O's daughter Jessica(18)..She is getting married in May and needs all sorts of household stuff and she got this wonderful king size lined soft as a cats ass blanket..Someone said they would like it and she grabbed it up and ran out the door and locked it in her car...No one was getting her blanket..Cracked me up...I got a massager and I have named him Antonio...er..Named it..Antonio..It is a three pronged little cutie and when you put it on your scalp and neck it will make you purr...Got a photo tree..With roses..silver and beautiful..A metal thing you hang on the shower and is full of bath oils, lotions, scrubs, soaps, etc...Plus a hand lotion with matching perfume from Victoia Secret...And a Japanese designed hat box..So cool..
I made 2 doz deviled eggs, 2 pecan pies and a chocolate cream pie..She had enough food to feed 75 people and there were only about 15 of us..Since Debbie(David's x) is a diabetic also Jessica had made 2 sugar free pies..So I even had a desert..No bread..No Mac/cheese...But had a big tablespoon of everthing and blood sugar was only 129 afterwards...It actually got down to 92 one day...So I am getting better..I had a great time and thought it was so sweet of Debbie to invite me over...David would never have thought of it...He commandeered the recliner and was snapping his fingers and waving his arm for chair service..Told him it was nice to know he was still an asshole...And he agreeded..And I said..What I like about you being an asshole is the pride you take in being an asshole...We both cracked up...Debbie let me take some of the movies home...Damn..Redeye(great), Brokeback Mountain(beautiful scenery and sad love story, but I liked it), Mr.Mrs. Smith(eeeh....Ok...Silly),Wedding Crashers(must be the only person in America that thought it was the second most over rated movie ever made..Forest Gump being number one),Poseidon,(I like Kurt Russell, so it was ok...But I really love Andre Braurer and he was hardly in it..So I give it a thumbs down),cant remember the others..
Christmas eve Day Jenny called me and said her Dad called her and wanted her to ask me to come for Christmas Day..I asked her why he didn't call and she said he wasn't going to give me a chance to turn him down again...So I called him and called him a horsesass and asked him what time he wanted me to come..He called back..And said noon...So went to Bellmead which is about 17 miles away..I don't have a inspection sticker on tags (had them all ready to get them done today) and got stopped by a cop...Took all the back roads and still got nailed..But I lied and said truck hadn't been running and I had just bought new tires and was going to go wed. And get the tags...He said ok, better do it..Wished me a merry Christmas and drove off...Damn..There is a Santa Claus...
Got to Thom's and he took me out to the shed and showed me his new Harley Davidson ...It is fucking huge..red with chrome (with skull in center of the chrome) everywhere..Wanted to ask him if his dick was chromed too, but since I was trying to be on my best behavior I kept my mouth shut(surprise surprise)...I was amazed at how he looked..He bought the bike and knew if he kept drinking beer he would probably kill himself on the bike..So quit drinking and lost over 20 lbs..And looks better than he has in 15 years..Hair is long past his shoulders, goatee/mustache...Looks great..So proud of him..He said all the time, money energy he put into drinking and partying he puts into the bike..And wishes he had bought the bike years ago...He and Candy go off every weekend on the bike..Even drove to Galveston, which he assures me he won't do again...He said his ass is still sore...They have helmets with walky talky's in them..He has a full set of leathers for everything and so does she..He loves that bike..And when he got it Candy was pissed, now she loves it as much as he does and he has to threaten her to make her wear her helmet...Ha.
It was a great Christmas...Got gift card(to the house of Satan), and Jenny got me the little mini-chopper that I wanted..
The only down side to the entire day was the motherfucking Cowboys...I had come home to watch the game and by the 3rd quarter I did something I never do...I turned the game off...But I had such a great Christmas Eve and Christmas Day that I refused to let the asshole Cowboys ruin my good buzz..So said fuckem and turned the game off and watched movies...
So that was my Christmas...It was great..no phone calls from MOJO but got a card that said Peace...Ha...
I have spent all day running errands to get ready for the move..Got boxes...Change of address card....And got more vitamins..Had called my friend Gary M and he said he would help me move..Going to ask David too, but he works days and sometimes doesn't get home till dark, so not sure I will ask him..Will probably get him to help Gary and I move the couch, chair and the bed..As it is a job bigger than me and Gary..He's not as big as I am..So we will need help...
I finally called Edda and told her I was moving and she said..Don't worry about it..We will tear up the paper work on my buying the house, and not to feel bad, that I had to do what I had to do and friendship is more important than anything else..I am so glad, because if it was a matter of me staying and keeping her friendship or moving and losing it, I would have stayed..She and Johnny are great friends and am crazy about Justin and Debbie the kids...So glad that it has worked out ...Now if the lady would answer the phone so I can pay the deposit and rent..And maybe start moving some of the stuff now..
Well, gotta go..Feel like hammered shit and have to be here tomorrow to work for Edda, so want to go home and dose up on medicine so I can do it for her...
Don't forget...Bab's birthday is the 31st of December...And Sooner's is the 20th of January...
fuckme till I'M fat and jolly....