I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Sunday, May 27, 2007

LIFE IS GIVING ME A ASSKICKING


i am typing this with no caps or anything fancy as i am wounded...fuckity...in a simi-daze this am i cut my hand opening a cat of fucking friskies cat food for annie and the little asshole..and i mean cut it open..the fatty meat between thumb and first finger on left hand..about an inch and a half wide and deep...blood every where..me...gasping in pain..rushing to the bathroom saying 'oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.sonofabitch...fuck..'..

it hurt like a bastid...it is gaping wide and deep dark blood is gushing out..i am not a freaker, thank the goddess...but if i was..i'd be freaking all over the place...and to top it off, the fucking cats are both following behind me meowing for their food...they dont care that im bleeding to death..they want their fucking friskies...ungrateful little bastids...so i wrap my hand in a hand towel..finish feeding the noise makers..and go sit in my chair and curse..

after about 45 minutes it stops bleeding enough that i can slap about 8 bandaids on it and now i am one handed...if i move it just right..or just wrong as the case may be...it hurts ...ouch..it hurts..and starts bleeding again..so i may be out of pocket for a day or so as it hurts and is hard to type...you should have seen me trying to pull my shorts down to go pee...and up...next time they go down..they may stay off...to hard to pull them up and down..especially since i pee about every 2 hours..and on top of that...i still have the truck in the parking lot of wal-mart..or at least i hope it is still there..i called several places and can get a rebuilt alternator/exchange for $50+tax..but no one is home over the weekend..and every thing is closed monday...so will be at least tuesday before i can get to it...only has 3 bolts to remove along with the belt..so it's going to be easy..well, easy before i cut my fucking hand...sigh*..i are pissed...the goddess must be pissed at me ..

and to add icing to this shitcake...my blood sugar dropped to below 20...wtf?...so go to see the dr...and take all my vitamins up there so he can see what all im taking..seems my vitamins are working soooo good, that along with the meds..my blood sugar bottomed out..so have cut back on the meds..to one a day instead of 2..and no more vitamins..and my med is the one that is giving people heart attacks..farq...im thinking maybe i should stop taking the meds and just take the vitamins..??? well, maybe not..but he gave me a script for a different med..but i would have to pay for it..it will only be $4 at walmart..but you all know how i feel about walmart..so will call kirk and see what it would be at old corner drug store here in west..

soooo, lets see...i have a new pussy..that's good..

my family and i get thrown out of a crappy resturant..that's good...

my blood sugar is up and down...that's bad..

my truck broke down and is in walmart parking lot...that's very bad...

i nearly cut my thumb off..that's not only bad.

it sucks..

i missed the season final of boston legal...that sucks bites and blows...

did i miss anything?...oh yeah..because my left hand is fucked up..im only able to give the finger with one hand..now ..i am ..truly..

handicapped...

fuckme till im left handed...

19 comments:

Sue said...

What a week you've been having! How about LA for the new edition short for "little asshole" ... ;)

jan said...

Cats show amazingly little sympathy when a member of their staff gets injured.

buddha_girl said...

I'm with jam on this one. Felines will sell your soul to the devil any day of the week.

You DID disinfect that stupid cut. Correct? I'm not playing with you on this one, Jac. Hello. Diabetes. Hello. Infection. If the thing still bleeds - you need stitches. Period. I don't care if I need to come down there and take you to the ER myself.

On the other hand (no fucking pun intended), that fucking story about being kicked out of that stupid restaurant SLAYED ME! The idiot wants her money, huh? Well, if you had gotten your food, she MIGHT have an argument. However, no food=no moolah. Fuck her.

And as for some stupid waiter telling PawPaw "fuck you," - he should be drawn and quartered in the very kitchen where he slaves (loosely used in his position) each day. Fucktard.

I'm so proud of your family's self-restraint.

Nit Wit said...

You should have kept a sample of the fish they served to show to the health inspector.
The cats were following you to see if a snack would fall off. I agree with Buddha Girl. If it opens up and bleeds you need stiches. I had tha problem with getting low blood sugar with my old med. they switched me to 500 MG. of Metformin HCL twice a day and I never have high or low blood sugar anymore.

I had to replace the alternator and fuel pressure regulator on my old S-10 when I was on vacation. The alternator just went out all of a sudden but the only way I knew about the fuel regulator was the oil pressure going down and the oil being full of gas. I could have had a big bang of a time if I hadn't found out about it.
I didn't even know you got another cat. I must have missed something.

briteyellowgun said...

Ouch! You sound like me though, I won't go get stitches or anything, I'll just suffer and stay handicapped as long as I can stop the blood flow. Be careful and did the cats EVER get fed?

alan said...

Wish I were close enough to change out that alternator for you...

May you heal quickly, may your 'scrip be reasonable, and may your "Boston Legal" finale be streamed at ABC.com.

I would also wish for your cats to be grateful, but fear I would be pushing my luck!

alan

Sling said...

Holy crap!..I drop in to say hey,and the whole joint looks like there's been a ax fight goin' on.
Go get some stitches JS,and maybe toss the furbags out in the yard to catch their own food for a day or two. :)

yellowdog granny said...

sue:more like lfa for little fucking asshole..
jan;they didn't care about anything except for their dindin..lil bastids..
buddha_girl: still no stitches..truck is still in the walmart paking lot..been raining hard since thursday..no one's home as it's a holiday weekend..thought i don't know where the hell they would go in all this rain...i ran water over it and slapped bandaids on it..so far..so good..stitches are way over rated..
by going to the police she was insured she would get her money cause no one wanted to fool around with going to court for the price of dinner..i would have gone to court...im still stunned that blows were not exchanged..we are a violent bunch of rednecks..but think restraint was used..
nitwit:if it still looks nasty after i get the truck fixed(tomorrow i hope)..i will go to dr and see if he thinks it needs to be stitched..he might be able to do it..???
i think that is the name of the new script that the dr gave me..will check it out tuesday when the pharmacy opens...
i did a post on the pussy...I think his official name will be
SOONERS RUBY NITWIT...
maybe call him soruni? although little asshole is right up there..
byg: of course they got fed..gushing blood, cusing a blue streak and slamming 9-lives into bowls all at the same time
alan:hopefully truck will get fixed tomorrow.(hope it's still there)..will see dr. tues to if i can ..and wishing a cat to be gratefull ..what a joke..ha

kath said...

I will echo...
CAREFUL diabetic etc... not a joke...
take care you yourself, you madwoman...

you got a new pussy?

that is one of themost interesting sentences I have read lately.

Cyberoutlaw said...

Exactly. You're probably tired of hearing it by now, but a cut that deep should be looked at by a doctor just to be on the safe side.

At lest you know your truck won't get stolen. In a WalMart parking lot no one will be able to find it!

the rube said...

man, you're fallling apart faster than a chinese motorcycle.

hope things pick up soon.

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

Those cat food cans are nasty! I'm always worried the cats are going to slice their tongues because when I take the tops off, they try to lick the edges.

I was reading your cat food can cut story out loud to John (my fiance) and we laughed and laughed -- not that it was funny about you bleeding to death, but the way you told about it. This is post definitely rivals my other favorite one when you went walking with your friend.

He said, "Omigod, she's hilarious" so now he's going to start reading your blog so I don't have to read it to him verbatim all the time, although I probably still will!

Josh said...

Sorry to hear about this Jackie... I have to agree with those who suggest you have your wound looked at... sounds like it could have used some stitches...

When I give people the finger, I'll give them an extra finger on your behalf.

yellowdog granny said...

kath:yeah, well i would go get stitches, but my truck is walmart parking lot and everyone else is gone for the weekend..don't know where they are going with all the rain...yup..new pussy and needs a name as i don't think i can continue to call him you little asshole for ever...
cyber:got ahold of vincent and will get truck fixed tomorrow..and then will go get my hand stitched up..hope it's not too late..it's still wide open..
rube:what a mess...good thing i can't get pregnant..oh wait..have to actually have sex too...never mind...
HMHH: this is the second time i have cut myself on those damn cans..and my dad cut his too, years ago...i think i will joing the rest of the world and sue..
tell him i said..'come on down'..
josh:please give the finger for me.
to several people..its needed..

:P fuzzbox said...

A one handed flip off is better than none. Take care.

Allan said...

Add me to the chorus of "go get your stitches"...between the diabetes and the germs in cat food, that cut is no joke. (Even if it's funny the way you tell it)

Cheesemeister said...

Wow, that does suck! I like the cat food cans with the pull tab. And cats wouldn't care if you had a knife sticking out of your gut and an axe in your head as long as they get fed!

yellowdog granny said...

fuzzy:hey bud..good to hear from you..i not only take care..i take carefully..
sling:them freaking flip off cans..killers...yeah, annie could survive on the birds she catches but little asshole is too young..he'd starve to death..
allan:if and when i get the truck fixed..im heading to the drs..maybe too late then..need a tetnus shot too..
cheesey: they are bound and determined to kill me...wrapping themselves around my feet and insisting they go every where i do..right in between my feet..stepped on both of them this am...i keep telling them..you're not in the will, quit trying to kill me...

Galt-In-Da-Box said...

Keep up the vitamins and cut the meds back...GOOD IDEA.
I used to feel like shit until I started taking more vitamins, modifying my diet and getting more exercise.
What kind of truck do you have? I bought an 89 Chevy S-10 recently and parted ways with my Mercury Topaz before it could die.
I got the internet back on at my place and can get email now.