ONLY IN TEXAS

MISS TEXAS

This is an article I found in my DAM News, by Scott Farwell.

I'll do my own fine little editing.

Cassie Nova is resplendent in red. Her figure is flattered by an almost-there hem-line. Heels, three-inch, Hair, teases. Makeup, porcelain doll smooth.

As co-host of a preliminary Miss Texas pageant held Sunday night in Dallas, Ms. Nova was all woman, except for one thing--she's a man.

Therein lies the problem. That and the pageant venue: a gay bar.

"I didn't know a drag queen was going to have that prominent of a role," said Jean Magness, executive director of the Miss Texas Organization, who watched over the Miss Oak Cliff/Miss Oak Lawn Area pageant at the Oak Lawn lounge. The Rose Room. "The question was Cassie's involvement. Was it appropriate? For me and other board members present, that was a major concern."

(Oh, it just keeps getting better and better)

In the days before and since the pageant, a controversy caught wind.

One one side, the local competition's director and others say beauty pageants have long been the dominion of gay men. they supervise wardrobes, style hair, and, for what-ever reason, seem to have a knack for coquettish walks down the runway.

(ya think?)

On the other, some contestants and their mothers say nowhere are gender roles more defined than at a beauty pageant--an onstage display of pose, grace and conventional femininity.

"It was pretty clear they were pushing an agenda," said Barbara Cox(no pun intended), an elementary school teacher who squirmed while watching her daughter compete Sunday night. "It's never healthy when society deviates to the extreme. I can't see where something like this would be beneficial to our nation.(oh fuckme sideways) As a matter of fact, I see it as a detriment." (which means she had a hetro doing up her daughter for the pageant and was at a huge disadvantage)

Talk like that angers Dustin Fitzner, the local pageant's executive director.

"That's like saying everything I believe in is immoral and wrong," he said. "I'm not going to take my rainbow flag and march down the street for gay rights, but this is the first time I've been personally insulted, and I decided I'm going to do something about it."

When Gregg Kilhoffer, president of a company that owns several Oak Lawn gay clubs, offered to host the pageant for free, Mr. Fitzner jumped. (there's a sexual joke in there some place, but I'll leave it to you to find it.)

"I'm not going to pay $5,000 to rent out the auditorium at Highland Park High School," he said. "This made incredible sense. I'm a gay man, and this was a way to support my community."(and to stir some shit up with the straight world)

(not that that's a bad thing)

Hundreds of young women enter Miss Texas preliminary pageants in hopes of winning the statewide event held in Fort Worth each July. The winner of that pageant competes to be Miss America. The process starts at shows like Sunday's, which attracted nine entries.(big hair and all)

Soon after setting the venue last summer, Mr. Fitzner started having problems.(no shit?...this is still Texas, right?)

Some contestants said they didn't want to compete in a bar.
Others said they wouldn't feel safe in Oak Lawn. (what? 'fraid of the big bad homos?...your quasi-virginity is safe with them I'm sure.) Each time he heard it, Mr. Fitzner suspected the girls-or their families were uncomfortable competing at a gay nightclub. (what gave you the first clue, Sherlock?)

It wasn't the first time he'd run into problems.

Growing up in Bowie, Texas, the 6-foot-5-inch Mr. Fitzner played center on his high school basket team and performed in

theater.

"It was a Brokeback Mountain kind of experience," he said recently, smiling over chicken salad at a cafe on Cedar Springs Road. "They didn't know whether to clap for me or beat the (expletive) out of me." (for you who don't know..they beat the shit out of me)

But at 29, with a business degree and a job and a place to call his own., Mr. Fitzner said, he's finally comfortable in his own skin. (or in someone else's... sorry I couldn't resist)No explanations, no apologies.

Maybe that's why he didn't flinch when others recoiled at the idea of having a local Miss Texas pageant-the second he has organized- at The Rose Room. And maybe that's why, when he was signing entertainers, he gravitated to Cassie Nova- a drag queen, runner -up of Miss Gay Texas 2008 and one of his favorite acts.

"She is hilarious," Mr. Fitzner said. "There are two people I want with me on my death bed:Celine Dion and Cassie Nova."(sigh.....it just don't get any better than this...I fucking love Texas)

At first, the decision put him at odds, with Mrs. Magness,(of the Fort Worth Magness's), head of the Miss Texas program.

She worried about the reputation of the event, which has flagged in recent years amid criticism that pageants objectify women, rewarding beauty over brains.(hey it worked for Cassie Nova.)

But after speaking to Mr. Fitzner, she was convinced that the Rose Room would be acceptable and that a female impersonator could have a limited, tasteful role in the event.(in other words he had pictures of her and T.O. Owens in a compromising position at Motel 6)

"Many of the people who participate in the pageants world are from the gay community because, it its own way pageants are a theatrical type world,"(also in the picture was a goat, 2 teenage girls and assorted S&M gear.) Mrs. Magness said, " We're already a blended community.( a midget, several jars of mayonnaise and a whip)

But after watching Sunday's show, Mrs. Magness said that Mr. Fitzner is welcome to direct more Miss Texas pageants -as long as drag queens are not part of the show.(she paid $5,000 for the pictures, but he keeps the negatives.)

At one point Sunday night, Cassie spoke directly to pageant officials.

"Hey judges, you OK?" she asked. "You need a little liquor or something: You're not supposed to drink, but I can slip you something.(oh....I bet he could) I've got a flask in my...(pointing at her cleavage)"...

A few minutes later, she sashayed across the stage, her sequin-studded red dress sparkling under a disco ball.(I bet his balls were sparkling under that sequin-studded red dress) She sang "My Strongest Suit" by the Spice Girls.

The crowd of about 100 people howled.

"I held back quite a bit," said Cassie, whose real name is James Love(oh I bet it is). "My onstage personality is a little bit more vulgar. I edited myself so I could win them over and make them not fear the unknown so much."(which means, she's got a date with Judge Number 3.)

Mr. Love, 36, has worked as a drag queen with the same company for 17 years. He said controversy about his job doesn't surprise him, but hypocrisy does.

"What kills me about these girls is the ones who (complain) about a pageant at a gay bar are the same ones who clamor for gay makeup artists," he said. "they want to get on the moral high ground when it's public."

Some people said the winners from Sunday's pageant-Alex Eppler as Miss Oak Cliff and Kat Ewing as Miss Oak Lawn Area-will be handicapped by controversy in the 2009 Miss Texas competition next year. Others said they expect the gay community to rally behind the girls.(include your own joke here)

"I don't think it will be a disadvantage," Ms. Ewing said after the pageant. "I'm glad to be a part of something that's pushing things forward.

I am sooo going to root for for Alex and Kat. Look for them next year at the Miss Texas contest..I can't wait.

Oh....man...you gotta love Texas...I sure do.