I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Monday, September 10, 2007

WHERE THE HEL IS HOG HEAVEN?


I've always been convinced that the Yellowdog was a month short of a calendar year, but after last night I'm sure of it..I haven't heard that much yelling, screaming, cussing, begging, pleading and weeping since ..well, since Loki stole my necklace and I had to sleep with those horny little dwarfs to get it back...Who would have thought a football game would bring out such passion in the Yellowdog?...I do believe that I haven't seen such enthusiasm since the Aztec's version of this game..of course if you lost..you lost your head and there were no gents in black and white stripped uniforms and yellow flags to keep you in line..

On to the question and answer time..

Nit wit is concerned about why blogging about politics makes him so depressed?...That's easy..the politics of this country can be bought and sold to the highest bidder..that would depress me too.Oh, by the way..have a great vacation.

Jan wants to know where she left her diaphram...look deep Jan...very deep...a little deeper....ah, there it is...

The Rube wants to know how many boy friends Payton Manning has...I belong to the don't ask ...don't tell school of thought when it comes to sports hero's and their 'friends'...don't want to be outing anyone here.

Lavender wants to know how to start a successful porn site and the best I can come up with is:practice...and run it by hand...

Blue Momma needs another baby...dear friend of the Yellowdog..no one NEEDS another baby..but if it is your desire to have another baby..I suggest adopting...too many children need loving families...give one of them a good home..

BBC, the Goddess thinks men need women a lot more then women need men..some of them just don't know it yet, but they will.

Josh wants to know what mankind's biggest mistake is...well, for a start, they fucked up when they refer to themselves as mankind..especially how screwed up your world is..and it was all started and brought about by stupid white men..supreme rulers on your planet?..I think not..this planet has been going to Hel in a hand basket every since 'mankind' stopped worshiping the Goddess and started worshipping God..there is still plenty of time for you to change your ways..The Goddess is very forgiving.

Tex wants to know why some people want to imprison or other wise pick on people that are slightly different from them, even if they in no way effect their lives...That's easy enough Tex..they are afraid and insecure..and by putting people that are different from themselves, it makes them feel superior...which is a bunch of crap as we all know..but that won't change as long as you continue to allow a book written thousands of years ago guide you in your daily life..That book has been transcribed from at least 15 different languages..and each translation something gets lost...Jesus thinks you're all fools...but fun to watch...( I figure if those money grubbing preachers can quote Jesus, so can I.)

Now that I have offended all the Christian readers of the Yellowdog..I will go gather up the soldiers who have died in battle and take them to Valhalla..Blessings on you my children..

15 comments:

Nit Wit said...

First again!
I never knew that politics was ever anything but what it is today.

Heidi said...

That's easy..the politics of this country can be bought and sold to the highest bidder.

Uh...Tommy Thompson, former head of HHS...and VeriChip. Here, I thought he was actually the one Republican in Bush's cabinet who wasn't a crony but he's just as bad as the rest of them.

The Goddess is right: It's all about the $$$$$$$$$$$

zero said...

i have always liked these posts.

the short hair is because when i was 21 i had an alergic reaction which caused me to lose most of my hair, and restoration is WAY too expensive, lol

Cie Cheesemeister said...

Unfortunately my attempts to start adult businesses were never successful. Then again, neither were my attempts to start any other kind of business. I guess I'm just a lousy business person.

the rube said...

i didn't get to where i am today by not asking and telling.

inquiring minds want to know.

Allan said...

bought and sold is right...

texlahoma said...

I honestly think that's the best answer to that question that I have ever gotten, thanks goddess.

BBC said...

Hon, men can get along just fine without women also. I damn sure don't want any of the screwed up women available to me these days.

Not that I don't know some very fine women, they just are not available to me.

Good women are like that, they are with their mates and make things work because they learn to be good together as a team.

I meet women all the time that want me, but mostly because I have so many skills, they just want to add me to their empires. Screw that, they aren't even hand holders and have screwed up ideas about sex.

The wonderful old lady next door could teach them a lot, not that they would be willing to listen.

I one sentence a woman will admit that she is screwed up. In the next she will refuse to fix it. Well, screw her.

I can get a hooker cheaper and with less hassle than dealing with them. and have my need filled. If hers isn't, that isn't my problem. :-)

Cyberoutlaw said...

Have you ever heard George Carlin's routine about God and religion? I'm sure he has many, but this one is fairly recent. Don't be eating or drinking anything if you happen to catch it, LOL!

Nit Wit said...

Boy, bbc must have got up on the wrong side of the bed.
I have all of George Carlins stuff on disk and have never lost my appitite listening to him.

yellowdoggranny said...

nitwit:your always first in the heart of the goddess..
HMHH:of course the Goddess is always right...it's good to be the Goddess...
zero:yeah, the Goddess likes these posts too..I wish the questions were tougher...
I like the no hair look...slick and clean..
cheesy:you just need to pick a better business to promote..
the rube:I thought you didn't get to where you are today by trusting someone named Simon?...
allan:sad to think how easy it is and for such a small sum..to sell out the american people..
Tex:Goddess bless you my child..
BBC: I have never seen anyone so obsessed with sex and talking about it..how sad your life must be.and football is healthier then obsessing about sex...
cyber:yup..and I love it and he is right on too..
nitwit:I love george carlin...have you read any of his books?...BBC is a sad case alright..

Tina said...

Hey Jackie - jus passing thru :)

Nit Wit said...

How high is the water?

Anonymous said...

Ok, maybe the goddess can send me adoption funds? We looked into it a while back, but don't have the money to do it. You just wouldn't think adopting a child who has no home would be so expensive, but we are certainly priced out of the "market".

Let's just hope the clomid did the trick.....

Josh said...

The world would probably be a kinder place if human society was more matriarchal rather than patriarchal. But then fewer war-time casualties would mean fewer seats in Valhalla... But I'd say the place is starting to get pretty crowded these days anyway.