THE GODDESS SAYS:

Crunch time is here...so brace yourself for your answers.

Billy Pilgrim, no it's not a fucking lamp, I think it's called a floor lamp.

Sage wants to know if she will be able to hold back her laughter and herself during the Vice Presidential debate. Of course not, how could you? I'll be rolling on the floor with laughter my self, watching Biden tear her a new ice hole.

Woozie wants to know why he's gay. This is a easy question. Each human is given 3 separate lives. One life as a male, one as a female and one gay. It's to give you insight into other people and their differences and make you more understanding so that you will be a complete soul when you go to Valhalla. Some people don't get it even after 3 lives, and they just go straight (no pun intended)to Hel and freeze their asses off for eternity.

You have already been a man and a woman, so after this life you'll enter Valhalla and sit at the table by me. Although Loki wants to sit on your other side..seems he's very fond of you .

Lost in Colorado: wants to know what is the unified theory of gravity. Finally a question worth of the Goddess. Beats the fuck out of me. I didn't use a blue print when I created everything..it was sort of slap dash...which explains the duckbill platypus, I think I was hung over the day I came up with that idea. Plus there was some talk about putting a woman's breasts on the back to help men steer while dancing, but decided to use them as feeders instead.

Buddhagirl wants to know when the Yellow Dog will be well. Well, being a term not generally associated with the Yellow Dog, but she is going back to work Tuesday.

Anne Johnson wants to know the leader of the club for you and me....M ....I ....C...K....E...Y. ..M...O...U...S....E. But you all knew that didn't you?

Peejay wants to know why her boobs aren't as perky as mine. Because I'm the Goddess and you're not.

Jan is still pissed at me for being so snippy with you last time and wants to know a good question. She then came up with this one:"Does the Goddess pass gas, you know ...fart."

Well, of course, you can't eat as much cheese and meat as We do(yes, the Royal We) and drink as much as We do without fating...What do you think all those black holes are in space. My farts. But a Goddess's farts don't stink, they smell like new grass. Or that's what Odin tells me.

Elizabeth wants to know when the Yellow Dog will feel better, so I asked her and she said 'When Obama is in the White House.'..

Lily Strange just wants good health for her son and the Yellow Dog......................done.

Josh, wants to know if he should quit his job because they fired his friend. With the state of the economy on this world I'd make sure you had another job before you quit this one. I think everyone should work at a job that makes their heart sing. Life is much too short to slave at a job that sucks out your soul. Remember you only have 3 lives.

Joy wants to know if Sarah Palin is a real person or a barbie doll with accessories. I'm not sure you could call her 'real'. She's human...but she's going to be one of those that the 3 lives aren't going to be enough to cleanse her soul. She's going straight to Hel.

That Rude Girl wants to know how long it will take Sarah Palin to start trying to get rid of McCain if they make it to the White House. First of all, they're not going to the White House, but if I was McAsshole, I'd get a food taster.

Regality3 wants to know how much responsibility I take for smelly navels and bad backs. Zip, zero, zilch, nada, none. It's not my fault your navel is so nasty you spend all your free time bent over picking lint out of it.

BiPolarlife 's mom is coming and she wants to know if she should be good and listen to her whine about the men she's dating, or just get her drunk. I'd get her drunk and fix her up with a new man.

I have to go now...Dancing With The Stars is on and Loki promises to trip up some of the dancers and I can't wait to see Cloris Leachman gallop across the floor.

Blessings on you my children...go in peace and sin no more.